Knowing Our Holiness Versus Doubt

what would you like me to cover today any requests letting go of fear Joy letting go boy pardon okay good heartbreak yes yes okay

as usual um quite an array of topics no judgment abundance Holiness heartbreak light with no obstruction and right-mindedness and and so on and so on there's several here okay I love the sacred reading the last sentence it struck me before I walked over to the podium I thought wow you know we have so forgotten who we are we have so forgotten our holiness so when we ask for for help in anything Prosperity ailments you know relationship issues or whatever the case may be let's remember we're asking for

temporary cures to Temporary issues that's all you you know we're holy beings I mean God is pure Holiness created us in its image right so that means we're we're doing pretty well in that sense but because of an Amnesia a self-imposed Amnesia wondering what life would be like if we weren't holy here we have it and so it is What would life be like if I forgot my Holiness oh let's look at your list heartbreak Prosperity issues busy mind you know and that's what life would be like if and

it's worth laughing at but sometimes it's worth crying the crying doesn't mean we failed the crying doesn't mean anything other than that's how we feel in the moment you know it's because it is kind of sad it is sad that people have done these things to themselves and God itself in a sense in it metaphorically God itself Mourns at the loss of its children but it knows that we can't be lost therefore what's the point of God mourning the loss of its children well it's called knowing the

truth but respecting the illusion you know just like your own children you might know that they're going to eventually pull it together but it's still hard to watch them go through something even though it's temporary similarly God looks at us God watches us and feels sad that we would even though it's an illusion that we would believe that we're in such pain you see so that's respecting the illusion the mother aspect of God loved us so much that she told the father aspect of God we can't let them do this

alone and to me that's just beautiful imagine you know not talking about the love of God but feeling it like wow I can't let this them do this alone intellectually it's an illusion that's not the point you know that God's children would even imagine being in pain so there's this divine plan since the beginning of time which doesn't exist since the beginning of time there's this divine plan the moment we think we can separate there's already a plan in place to bring us home but there's no time so when did that

happen yesterday we're already home there is no time so if at the beginning of time a plan was created for God's children to come home when did that happen the same moment because there's no time that we thought we could leave then what are we doing now well it's a journey without distance to a place you never left but it doesn't feel that way it feels linear it feels like a lengthy painful process and it is sad and yet it's an illusion but it's sad that we would do this to ourselves and it's important that we you know

mourn that process but also appreciate the Divine mother the holy spirit that says wherever you go man I'm going with you in all your worst painful experiences it's impossible for her to not be there it's impossible wherever you go God is and that's the Divine mother in all the most ludicrous behaviors now people that pretend to know and understand things they they will say God is in all things you know and and it's it's amazing the best-selling authors and they are so clueless you know and but it sounds impressive

they sound like they're wow they must know because they'll say God is in love oh I knew it yes God is in Birds oh I love birds oh my God birds are so cute I knew God was in them and then they'll start saying and God is in war okay no it isn't God is hidden behind those things the things are not God those behaviors the behaviors are the expression of pain that comes from not knowing god please understand that so that you don't accidentally spout the same things as these you know misguided teachers are

spouting they say that because it sounds you know like well I don't know what else to say God's in all things that just sounds so oh that's heavy I could make a bumper sticker God's in all things but it's not true God is hidden behind all things the question is how much of your things that in your life are not obstructing the light of God that's trying to come through it God is behind here's here's your thing your car your broken relationship or whatever here it is God is not it

hidden behind it question being how much light do you experience in your things where God can penetrate through does that make sense my relationships are so holy that God can penetrate through and and the the reading the that last bit of quote um it's these things that we see with our eyes are not the god that's just ignorant speech it sounds really fancy and I I understand that God's in this and no what you see with your eyes is obstructing the vision of God and it's all inspiring and it brings it

can bring tears it can bring oh to the heart when we tune into these things Mankind's pain can also feel overwhelming right I mean all you have to do is be clear enough to tune in and channel humanity and you'll have a nervous breakdown or an aneurysm depending on how well you handle this but you know it's like boom this wave but so too is the wave of God that's hidden behind this stuff so if ever you're feeling overwhelmed if ever you're feeling and it happens in this world obviously feeling overwhelmed

and relationship stuff Prosperity issues feeling overwhelmed to air is human and to feel overwhelmed means you're allowing Mankind's errors or misthinking to become your reality that's not a problem because it feels that way for a moment feel it cry it say it but then choose and what is behind it I lost a loved one today oh it's overwhelming and then and what's behind that and when you see what's behind it would include things like the loved one you thought dead here they are their dead

self all of a sudden things open and their soul comes through and says guess what I'm fine you see what I mean and and hidden behind anything it could be compost it could be birds and their sounds the things we see and experience with our senses are almost nothing but blocks to seeing what's behind it the more you're invested in what you think you see and of course the more you react to it the more you complain about it the more all that human stuff now you've made it your God you fed it you went to the altar of

insanity and started feeding the the gods and goddesses on the altar the god of jealousy the god of Envy the god of hatred anger racism whatever it is those are not God they're not that's why it's helpful for us to say here's what I think I see but I'm open God can you show me what's hidden behind this dead person opens their light comes through job loss opens Soul's purpose comes through Prosperity issues opens abundance see no matter what it is we keep praying to fix the thing but if

you're fixing the thing and the thing is an image of a block an obstacle to God you're actually asking for your Illusions to be rearranged so that you're not inconvenienced by them and you get to keep them you know God has been tough from losing this illusion a partnership of some kind I would really like another illusion please just make this one not speak so often you know like that's all we're really asking for I want one that's better a better what a better illusion why keep praying for illusions and so

we think we know what's best for ourselves but I do not know my own best interest I do not know anything who's talking the me that still follows my ego guaranteed insane no no I think I have some things figured out stop talking that eye is not the enlightened one so you silence and you say I don't know what I'm seeing I don't know what I'm here I'm not sure of anything the eye that is used to manufacturing relationships this world we are in this place of coming into this world with this Amnesia

I spoke of and they're trying to manufacture a self but we're manufacturing the self based on what everybody tells us we are or some of our own ridiculous assumptions you are not black you're not white you're not male you're not female you just seem like it some of that you should probably play along with you know but but I'm you know 5 10 and I want to be 6'4 don't start having stilt implants stuck into your shins just stop just just just rest man go easy let's just accept some things you

don't need to try to fix everything start with this Do You Love More yeah but I would love even more if I were 6'4 no it's in here not the look not what you see with your eyes not with you here with your ears stop some things you'll have to accept more than others do more acceptance on than others but at the end of the day we are all Sparks of light that have sparked off of the original flame of God and we all carry that original flame within us the peace of God the presence of God when we're not seeing it feeling

it tasting when we're not experiencing with our five senses it's time to say these senses have failed me again and that's actually depressing but it's funny too because if I can acknowledge these senses are failing me I can start calling on others show me how you would have me see this God I don't like what I'm hearing this news that I'm hearing show me how to see this differently even though it's a hearing thing seeing is a metaphor it doesn't just mean your eyes it means show me how

to experience this differently and when we're praying from our hearts you know it's okay man just sometimes you're going to choke up and sometimes you're going to laugh those are actually just pieces of things inside that are shaking loose it's all that it is when people talk about energy surges going through the body you see some people when they're meditating these surges will happen and you know in some traditions it's called an ecstatic state other groups have other names for it you

know um kriyas in some traditions they're called kriyas in other Traditions they're energetic orgasms whatever it's like it doesn't matter because all that's really happening is as the and as I start to open to the energy of something great God you know whatever when I open to that it's just like a hose that has the pressure of water coming through it the host starts jumping and and moving because water's coming through it so as I learned to let go boom you know this stuff happens sometimes they're tears

those are still forms of release don't let anybody tell you that human emotions are negative or or they're limited based on versus spiritual experiences they're called emotional orgasms let them happen let that happen let sometimes just the you feel like taking a breath and just sighing that's a release so the person who has the energetic versions of opening up isn't cooler or better than the person who's simply crying it's all the same just that's where it's hitting you right

now and always remember to give it to God you have those energetic things you have those emotional things give it to God replace it with God's presence and think of the words peace be at peace when turmoil happens it's like the metaphor of the Apostles out on the water and the storms are happening and Jesus walks out and says peace peace be still you know like calm down chill is what he was saying chill relax man lighten up oh but the storms it's not the storm it's the storms of life when the apostles were panicking in the boat it

wasn't just the waves it was a deeper feeling of being out of control of your life you understand what I'm saying there feeling out of control they weren't just afraid of the Waves it was oh my God we're not in control so think of the metaphor let everything become a metaphor in the Consciousness it takes us to a completely different way of a level of learning humans like to learn and think linearly Masters think conceptually this is a metaphor so there's the boat and all that instead of oh my God boat storm what are we

gonna do boat storm oh the storm is me I'm the storm I got stuff going on I'm afraid of losing control we're gonna drown no that's afraid of your emotions losing control emotionally water emotion we're afraid of losing control emotionally then here he comes hi guys walking on water what does that symbolize oh Jesus's sister no it's not just that Jesus is our savior thing he symbolizes the Christ in you that has to be able to tell the emotional you that's all in turmoil chill stop already

oh man have you heard yeah the economy Stop Those are the storms let the Christ come through or just stay panicked on the boat you have that option I just want to worry okay so choose whom he will serve the worrying ego-based self human self or can you let Christ walk out on the waters your Waters your turmoils and say enough enough relax when you read and we're doing a workshop today uh in the this afternoon on the Aquarian gospel but we're going to go into a lot of these deep stories and metaphors but just

just take at least that peace that when you're hearing about you know Jesus what does it mean when Jesus says this or Jesus says what is what does it mean on a deeper level there's a lot of stories in the Bible that confuse people whether it's telling Peter get behind me Satan that one's a really weird one and Jesus's friends were gathered around him and he said we're going to Jerusalem and they wait I remember you saying it's here in my scroll notes um Post-it Scrolls you know um it said I remember a few days ago you

said one day when we go to Jerusalem I'm going to be taken and killed therefore Common Sense tells you based on my senses if you're going to be killed we need you not go to Jerusalem and his responses get behind me Satan like that's free that's weird that's really a strange way to react to a well-meaning friend because Jesus was saying take your well-meaningness and move aside it sounds intense or rude but what he was saying is this I have fear myself I have fear myself and you know what the

ego tries to to rise up and get us to react sometimes when you don't react it manifests as other people so Peter was channeling Jesus's fear hey I have an idea let's not go to Jerusalem Jesus sees it and says Get Behind Me Satan meaning I see you you that are me move aside it's just not explained that that's what's happening so his intense rude look it looks rude and sounds rude with our senses that Jesus was really slamming Peter but why mommy mommy how come he yelled at him when he was trying

to help him not go get murdered a child could say to a parent and it's it's not easy for the parent to be able to explain well you see honey Jesus is the ego that's in all beings the ego was trying to rise up and make Jesus not go to Jerusalem because going to Jerusalem meant he's going to trust that the greater good is going to be the ultimate result if he doesn't go it means thank you God for sharing your idea about a great plan I have other ideas I mean who wouldn't have chosen the south of France with Mary Magdalene

um it's like a no-brainer I mean come on anyway it's just silly me um there's crucifixion or south of France I don't know you know God come on and Jesus says we're going to Jerusalem that means in me I hear the story and I go in me there's a Christ self that says don't always lean towards the the the answer that best suits your senses trust in a greater good that all things work for the good of God if you trust in those things there's a question here one of you said letting go of fear

you're not trying to conquer fear you're letting go of fear that's the right wording the way it was given here you're letting go of you're saying well okay I can choose fear I'm going to end a relationship let's say but then I'm going to be alone every time you choose for your greater good you will be paid right for it your head is going to say well okay well can I manifest another before I do the ending so that I'm covered no you codependent no let this end and just sit there

have friends come over and duct tape you to a chair and just sit there and go through all of the stuff oh but but you know I just go through duct tape here too close your eyes you know remember the song incense peppermints right turn on turn in turn your eyes around look at yourself look at remember that song turn on turn in turn your eyes around and look at yourself duct tape man duct tape sit there and suffer and I don't mean that in a suffering way I'm saying be courageous to say look what comes up when you're not allowed to have

a replacement person I want to eat why I'm hungry who's hungry I am who's the I am Christ isn't hungry in you it's the human self and eat by all means but at least take a moment to look at who's hungry every time you're saying I'm hungry you're saying I'm a body but you're not so every time you say I'm hungry you're lying you're actually deceiving yourself now say that enough times I'm hungry I'm hungry it becomes a mantra and by the time you're three

you're already programmed right every time I'm hungry I'm thirsty I am I want a relationship I'm lonely these become mantras and they actually program our mind so now what do you do now by the time you're 50 you're doomed 50 years of programming these bizarre I'm nothing but a limited being in need hi nice to meet you I'm needy needy needy do you have a last name this one's enough needy how about a first name totally totally needy totally needy nice to meet you have a middle name okay it's desperately

totally needy that's all you need to tell somebody and they should go oh then you're like nobody loves me duct tape back into a chair how do I feel about nobody liking me and go through it it's interesting because Jesus goes through two major demonstrations of initiations and as playful as I make some of these sound they're deep these points but two things Jesus goes through major initiations the first one is 40 days 40 nights when he's then tempted by a voice that says I'll give you everything you want

if you acknowledge this is all that matters no man does not live by bread he's saying the material world isn't what feeds us it's the word of God which is the Christ self Jesus is the word Christ is the word and the word is my true self so I'm fed by knowing my true self no thank you boom he passes that test which takes place in the daytime so he's saying no to the sun sign the Temptations the external things but in the Garden of Gethsemane he has to go through The Dark Knight of the soul and he has

to go inside not Conquering the Temptation for the material things conquering fear itself so Jesus is sitting there and this is an amazing experience you know to to be honest I mean to wow to see it it would be great if I could just plug wires into my brain and put it on video so you know but anyway to see this moment Jesus is in now in the dark night he knows what's happening everybody else as far as there it's a linear life so Jesus you know 40 days 40 nights yeah a couple years ago and now we're in the garden we're just hanging

out we just had a great Last Supper but it wasn't called The Last Supper that would have been kind of gloomy so it was just called dinner they had fish and leeks and bread and wine and everything seems fine and Jesus actually played music and you know um on the holy Hi-Fi you know record player no he played music you got on harp and he played music for the apostles and got them to sing and do movement together and it was festive because they didn't understand what was happening but they also didn't want to know what was

happening because he told them just like you've been told no to that relationship and you didn't listen no to that addiction had I known you did but you didn't want to believe that you knew it wasn't convenient to your ego-based reality so the last supper's taking place but before you know they they break bread and so on metaphorically and literally but out to the Garden of Gethsemane and Jesus knows this is going into a dark place literally and metaphorically so he sits down with them and he says now if

some of you would just stay awake with me I want to share an experience and they all went to sleep why maybe it was the wine maybe it was they were tired of dancing maybe all kinds of maybes what happened is they were going into a state of denial their brains started shutting off Jesus actually starts going into a very this is again he's going into a very dark dark place he's going into the core of fear itself he's not looking at a couple fears he's going into the realm of fear itself alone duct tape

alone turn on turn in turn your eyes around and look at yourself but when you look at your core fear it's not your phobias it's Mankind's core fear the ego-based fear the fear of the separation having actually happened the fear of Retribution from God which will never happen but it's every kind of fear at its absolute rawest and he sits and he's going through this and there's a moment when he says guys because for a moment he's hoping to get something from the outside guys will none of you stay awake with me

see that's what he was doing he was calling for help and some okay I saw those tears my dear thank you hmm just look at the feeling in the room there's a depth that's happening because as I'm describing it we're all going through it to some degree so you know well none of you awake and they awake but only some and they could not stop falling asleep again John says in the Lost Books of the Lost book of the Bible John apostle he said later he said it was as though a cloud of evil came and made us go to sleep

and it was but it was the ego and evil itself see you cannot handle this go to sleep so their brains and Minds were overwhelmed by the experience just like we're afraid to try divorce we're afraid to try marriage we're trying afraid to try commitment we're afraid to break up a commitment when it's not working but we're we're afraid all the time stop and look at the fear of it if God is with me what can be against me but we're not used to this and Jesus did he reached out will none

of you stay awake and then and then you know they go back to sleep to be in that position but you have been and often failed the test because you gave up hope grabbed another drug or whatever replacement thing as soon as you can even if it's just distraction I need to watch my favorite show just to not be in here we think this is such a horrible place we would do anything to stay outside of this place think about that and some of us are like oh no man I don't believe that Michael I'm like a sacred being really then be

quiet long enough to look at how sacred you really think you are right oh I'm sacred and I have to do this and I have to you red rocks and I have to meditate you're already admitting you're not as sacred as you think you are you're so sacred no words could describe it as soon as you try to speak the words you would go dumb because you're so sacred it's beyond words so what you would do is try you'd get it and go oh then you would do this then you would smile when you when you see your Holiness

that's what happens now it doesn't mean you don't also dance But first you get it then you dance if you dance without getting it first you're distracting yourself somebody said I'm holy you know and you're moving around well wait who's dancing I am oh it's the I am not that's dancing be quiet enough to tap into the I am and make love and dance and do everything you do cook food from the I am but did you take a moment to just do this before you started stirring up your dinner

no no I gotta hurry you know I only have so many minutes to eat and what a sad thing see so Jesus shows this ultimate test to drop in and in that dropping in he has to face the deepest darkest and we we can easily Overlook or minimize the experience but it's described his brow begins to leak blood you know we think well that's interesting and you move on because if you don't know what it means you just move on you what does that mean it means that he sat there alone alone in the deepest darkest place a

human being can go and he went there alone and he reached out for friends like you have and sometimes they're not there and that's good and it's sad because we should be and could be there for each other we can ask ourselves why when they reached out was I not there and try to be there more that's a good thing that's a good healthy attitude about it but if you're not there for me do am I going to hate you and judge you for it oh man you all abandoned me I know it hurts I know it hurts but remember if that's how it went down

God was saying trust me go in here and you'll find Oneness instead of aloneness all Oneness instead of aloneness so Jesus was going through this and the anxiety was so intense that the capillaries in his head started bursting that's called an anxiety attack the capillary started bursting and blood started coming through his pores along with sweat that's a physiological experience is that making sense that's how intense he was feeling at the Garden there were the apostles Mary Magdalene was actually there it's

not mentioned in the bible per se but the the what they call the women of the Bible they were there often it's funny they'll say and the women were there and but it's in passing why were the women there because they were devoted as well and um one of the great symbolisms of Magdalene Magdalene though is devout love even though there's all kinds of stories that are being made up one way or the other about her in her own Gospel and other gospels she refers to Jesus you know in her own Gospel as master

sometimes beloved but it's you're my beloved Lord You're my master she had a deep reverence for him the apostles had the same a deep reverence but a little bit as males a little bit from their head still she was just like heart opened whole pure love second maybe only to Mother Mary who's also minimized in the Bible doesn't seem like it because you hear about her and you know of her but it's totally minimized where she was during all these experiences but those women were there even sometimes when the men

would were not there so we go through and Jesus goes through the daytime temptation of the conscious sense itself then the Dark Knight of the Soul guys he's going the subconscious has to be purified not only am I being tempted with what could be seen in the first initiation 40 days 40 nights now in the Dark Night of the soul in Gethsemane he's having to deal with the deepest darkest of fear now you can say oh she's man so that means if I want to become enlightened I have to do yes and no you have to go through some of your

stuff you do but what's really amazing is when he did it he did it for everyone so now what he's saying and this is the misguided statement of many Christians that they understand it partly but they don't and that is he's we're all connected so he's the part of us that already pulled this off so if I can just accept and tune into the part of me that already pulled this off I don't have to do it as much anymore so Jesus isn't saying hey I did it good luck he's saying no no we're all connected

you have a Christ neuron inside of you that can take you through this you have a Jesus neuron inside of you that already did it so you don't have to find and create a neuron of trust in God it's already there I do need you however to Fan it into a flame and let that neuron feed other neurons to where your mind is completely filled with the light of God again that's the hopefulness man that's the good stuff to know that our brother went through this and Now is offering it saying look I have a map

even though you're all different my map will change like a Harry Potter scene my map will change to fit any one of you looking at the map what's my map to get home there it is and then somebody else looks and it morphs to be theirs there is a map that's meaning that there's hope there is a path it's already there and this Christ self that is in all of us knows how to get home the human self does not because the human self is being too driven by the ego and the ego doesn't want to get home so we end up with all

kinds of weird stuff with that we get to a place as some of you are asking in some of your um questions including heartbreak and also no judgment non-judgment it's judgments all come from opinions there's not a moment where we say wait a minute not this time oh there it is God's coming through you're all messed up I can you know and judging people it doesn't happen God to judgment it doesn't work that way in the godself there can't be judgment because then God would say I'm holy

created you in my image but I don't know something went wrong I I know that I I it was in the work order right here Holiness you all just messed yourselves up so God can't actually judge even though we say Judgment Day God what that means is there'll be a day when we give our judgments to God so that they disappear and some people are still thinking I can't wait man there's some people that I've got some I sent in paperwork you know to God I want exactly who I want punished at in the end days and

here's how this works it's kind of you know people actually think I want them punished which is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die okay so you you the toxicity in the mind I'm angry I want that person to suffer somehow well here's how this works the spiritual realm will say and so it is who is it again them what did they do oh you're kidding they did that oh what were you thinking all right so we're going to give them damnation until their debt to you is paid get this

and then it goes like this and we have an assignment of what lifetime you're going to go back and work this out with them that's what happens that's the damnation that's the judgment and the the penalty that's served in court the court isn't God the court is us and after you do this enough times you know and then another I'm still man I still I'm still angry with well that's beloved we we have all the time you can imagine to help you work that out I want them to suffer okay

they'll be your unruly child they'll be your parent or whatever you can't condemn them to something and you get to go to paradise when you condemn them it means you're going with them sometimes those people actually go I got it and they're done now you're like well now where's my prisoners and here's how beautiful the universe works we have volunteers we have other crazy people that aren't done with this kind of stuff yet we're going to assign you to some of them that aren't done yet and now you get to work

it out with an original person but the patterns are not not original at all so after a while you just go you know what I'm tired and you don't even know why I just feel really tired of being on Earth you're tired because of the judgments you live with every day from yourself and from others you know the reason you have to sleep is to rest from this heaviness that we impose on ourselves and so at some point if this is going to change and it has and it will we say you know what enough is enough I'm not not going to do this again

another lifetime and to do that you have to have the courage to say I'm sorry please forgive me for this we've been doing I love you thank you now saying it is one thing you know that's not always easy I love you please forgive me for this Karma thing we were doing which you should have gone caught on um I love you and you know it's you know and then you have no teeth left because you're grinding and and that's what happens I mean you got to be honest you shouldn't say oh beloved I love you when

in fact you're like you know um you know putting them in a headlock while you're doing the whole oppono is not is not actually the right posture it's better for you to say God I hate you I hate you in so many ways that it just oh irks me but I'm willing to see this differently and I shouldn't have to see it differently by the way but you sneak those in say it don't do the um I'm so holy and I'm just I love you and I don't have any issues anymore because I'm spiritual I pray and I owe money pod

me everything and you know and it's just like but inside every kind of element is killing you you know just joking because of all this held back stuff it's better for you to go God I hate you oh get it out get it out I'm not saying say it to them get it out get it out and then in a pillow scream it and cry it counsel it sponsor it get get it moving and you're gonna find that it loses its sting its power and pretty soon I swear you get to a point where you go I cannot believe I can talk about that

event and not feel nauseous I can't believe that it's amazing and that's how you know you're healing first you go from the resentment that you'll try to stuff and bury and hide some people don't hide it as well as others but it's there there's the there's the pain then you'll shift to it doesn't seem to have its sting anymore kind of like a person that's got some major virus you can just tell where I think it's passing or breaking a fever you just you know that something's

changing so you have a fever or virus and you felt this morning you woke up and it feels like it's different you think more clearly you have a little more energy right that's what happens with forgiveness you're stepping into a different state of consciousness and you know because it doesn't have the same sting now saying that I don't want you to please to leave going I'm depressed why because because I still have that sting that's okay talk it some more move It shake it out talk it out

leave no stone left Unturned but I'm not supposed to think and feel this way how's that working for you just get it you know talk it come on let's let's keep it going get it moved then the stings that step two phase two lessons there's a third phase and this is the weird one the most surreal you go from feeling it less of it to feeling peace this isn't just not feeling the sting this is I can now think of that event I'm not saying suddenly you make the event wonderful and righteous I'm just

going it's weird I'm thinking about that and it's not affecting my Center that's when you know forgiveness has really set in doesn't mean you won't have a down day a week later doesn't mean you won't have that thing come back and bite you again but don't lose sight of the progress you made oh that again see do that instead of oh my God I thought it was over it stop just oh that again and what am I supposed to do with it this is not about what's happening right now this is a ghost from my past

I see it I give it to God again because what I really want to feel is the peace of God but I really want to feel and I'm ready to feel and choosing to feel is peace and love I deserve that this isn't like I'm making a major request that's actually my inheritance let me fill that instead and even if you only shift one ounce nice job okay never give up on this it's it's it's it's worthless to give up on our Holiness it's what we are just give up on investing in anything else don't give up on the Hope give up

on hopelessness it's not my destiny it's not my my will anymore and that word Holiness was also brought up and and that's that's who I am I'm a holy Child of God and I can face all of my tests I can face all of my trials and whatever it happens to be walk into the Garden of Gethsemane I hope that we are awake for you when you go through that I hope that we meaning whomever are there to to support you and hold your hand only you can go to the dark space but I hope that we're there to say go

there and we're going to be right here with you like a friend who says all right I'm moving in for a few days while you go through withdrawals from your addiction I can't go through it for you but I'm here and that's what we can do when people are in the garden but don't forget if they're not there when you're in the garden go into the garden anyway apparently it was decided part of your test was to have them not be there I think that's a drag just a footnote I think it it really adds to a whole new

level of pain when we recognize that when we go in that Journey To The Dark Night We're Alone it just adds another level of confusion and pain God but where and how and and there's an apostle who says I Die daily and if that's true and I assure you that it is you're always given opportunities to die of your old patterns and when you do it would be nice to have a new pattern sitting there to distract you but can you just you know can you just keep going stay the course and um you know this I go through this

all the time the pro you know all the time initiations and so on and so and there are times when the aloneness just manifestes singing and meditating praying it does and many times it goes that direction other times it's like wow you know how to feel so much joy and connectedness to God and to feel so alone at times you know live alone and be alone it's there's times when it's like where is everybody it's this is the Deep you know human self and I'll start to close here because when Jesus says on

the cross why have you forsaken me God just even even I get chills just hearing these words because I know of the meanings but one of the things he was saying where are you why have you forsaken me who's talking it was the body saying why aren't you paying attention to me fix this get me out of this mess why have you forsaken me it was his body ego-based self crying out to his soul you left me alone see and then he can say it is finished meaning I did it all the way through and through it is finished means it's accomplished

see they're their body I know you're crying for attention but I am not to live off bread alone you're just a body all of us are going to say this at different times in our life you are not alone you're all one you are not needy as you might think you're not financially destitute as you might think and and one of my favorite concepts with this is when Jesus is asked to to make wine out of water right that Miracle or walk on water Jesus doesn't stand on the shore going oh man I hope this works

right that's called the religion of the crossed fingers um a man I'm going to try to walk on water he didn't take one step and go okay you know tightrope no there isn't any water the water is actually just ether it takes the form of water because of our Collective belief that we want water there so all he does is say I'm going to choose a different reality y'all can see water I'm just going to see a path to walk on and with wine he just says you know his mother Jesus the feast has run out of wine

we need more wine and people don't know the the behind the scenes stuff where he smiles and tilts his head at her and you know just kind of what we need we need more wine and he knows that she knows he's going well what do you want me to do you know and in the Bible it makes it sound like woman what would you harvest me do what is wrong with thine brain instead he's like and get your clients to ask get people come on come on say it say it well I just didn't no come on say it could you yes you want wine oh my God I am going to

give you some good wine no headache afterwards good just pure the purest greatest wine and here it comes and then he he looks at the water and the water is just like oh what are we gonna do say no to him and so it is the water blushes at the site of its master and says fine wine and Jesus is saying this is not an effort what happens is ether responds to consciousness and and wine is nothing but seemingly the the result of water and fermented grapes or whatever right so it's just it's it's grapes and water

and grapes and water are just manifestations of Consciousness so all he has to do which is kind of like the way Homeopathy works when you tell the pill that it has a certain Essence in it it does they can actually not use essences to create homeopathic remedies they can actually just tell the pills you are this and it does it measurably they can tell that the pellets have a certain frequency of whatever it happens to be well how did that happen that's science even your program the the substance and Jesus tells the ethers

in the water you're now wine and they are because ether responds to consciousness with that in mind look at your own life and this can sound like wow that's that's kind of deep no it's worthless what I just said if you don't practice it that doesn't mean you know go out to your hose at your house and start saying where's the wine it you know it doesn't mean like try to put things to the test to a place that you're going to frustrate yourself it's Faith first faith has to be there first

believe that people breaking up with you they don't have power over you that's ether that you've impregnated with them having power over you take the ether shake it up and say no it's all right here finances it they're just manifestation gold it's just a manifestation of ether The Ether that's affected by Consciousness get the Consciousness right not the self-will Consciousness okay I'm gonna make this happen which will referred forehead and all that no it's oh my God I'm getting it

I can look at jealousy and say what are you but a manifestation of consciousness get behind me Satan move aside water be still man lighten up take command but not in an ego-based sense but just taking responsibility and taking command again nothing has power over us and all the tests of Life are trying to show us that people breaking up with us the Heartbreak is a statement of oh look you still think other people can break your heart I'm struggling with heartbreak you're struggling with you and your belief that people can break

your heart but they did break my heart it's a fact and so it is but yet I'm not telling you to condemn yourself when you're sad that they left cry if you need to cry just process it process it honestly thoroughly and give it up because you're going to find on the other side of it was the I am and it's going to start with not just I am I am I am it's going to start with I am so embarrassed that I believe that that person had power over me it'll start with that oh what was I thinking it'll start with

that and laugh at yourself you'll shift from forgiving others to forgiving self to no need for forgiveness anymore please take a few centering breaths um [Music] foreign

[Music] with each in-breath the words quietly I am on the exhale relaxed just nice wave with each exhale tensions wash off heaviness [Music] foreign [Music] imagine being lifted up out of the room

gently lifted up and transported [Music] cross distance [Music] not being controlled it's just we go where we need to go the Holy Spirit knows where she's taking us and she sits us down on a hill or Mountain and we look across an expanse [Music] let her show to us the kinds of things that we made more important than our Holiness Jesus was tempted with power and fame what what has ever been offered to you and you took the bait to be open-minded be spontaneous and look

a distraction what kind of distraction were you ever offered we know it was a distraction because it took you out of your Center [Music] foreign [Music] that's all that was really happening doesn't determine who you are but be honest and look lifetimes of this we've done selling ourselves out whether it was a person an addiction that seemed like it could give a stimulus distraction numbing it doesn't matter a weight loss program that would make you look great these are all across this Valley

[Music] this was the ego saying if you just bow down to this I'm gonna give you something in return I know we can manifest a partner if you just look like this [Music] if only you had better pay all those words just look at them [Music] I see all of this it serves no value to feel shame for it regret for it only one value am I learning from it never again will I sell myself short and if I do it's a slip it's an oops and I'll bounce back this world offers me nothing I do not live by bread the material

world alone but by the word of God the word of God is what I am I really live by being the word of God I live by being and remembering my Christ self oh up on that Hill looking Ali and just watch all the promising things all those things the job the people just watch them all turn to dust and fall to the ground they all go [Music] we don't hate them they're just false Idols they're false things they're not even real to dust [Music] and in the future if I'm going to manifest anything out there here's

the healthy way of looking at it not what will give me something it's what reflects my healthiness try this look out to the desert and say I'm willing to see anything in the material world even the world of Illusion and matter but I'm willing to see things if they reflect my true self Out of the Dust can come a car [Music] a relationship but they're not there to give us the impression that they make us into something they reflect what we are that keeps an objectivity to it it keeps perspective to it

and it's the truth because everything really only does reflect us [Music] praise God praise God that I get this now praise God in the heavens praise God in the earth praise God behind all things all where we started a while ago all the outer form drops away [Music] praise God that is the light behind all things praise God that is within things that now rise to me and hold up a mirror and say we're a mirror of your goodness [Music] praise God in my heart and soul [Music] and so it is [Music] foreign [Music]

gradually stretching out thank you for sharing such a deep experience again today appreciate all the requests that you guys gave at the beginning of the service hopefully I covered most or all of them how's everybody feeling you liked it loved it good no that's okay get behind me Satan tempting me no thank you I appreciate it love is not a Temptation it's a reality so your expression of love and so forth is is fantastic I appreciate it and back to

you let's take a moment we're gonna do our collection and our closing prayer be as generous as you can be we appreciate that your donations go in the blue bags and extra donations can go in the wicker baskets the baskets again are for us to use for people of lesser means or special projects and those of you who did extra donation for us doing the painting of the Interior this room's not done but the back rooms are done and thank you for your extra donations for that if you still if anybody else wants to

contribute more you can because we still have this room to do all right Your Love offering to your heart together please Divine love flowing through me blesses and multiplies all that I am all that I have all that I give and all that I receive and so it is can anyone share what you learned or heard today that made the most sense or that might have been the most important or impactful for you reflection reflection nice anyone else Faith first nice yes right right here right that's right

the the bit about the Garden of Gethsemane and the beauty what you're saying is him going through that he can completely identify with anything we're going through facing your fears or whatever it happens to be yeah exactly Yes dear right right the courage on the cross I'm glad that you you felt that when I was talking about that it's always so interesting to be up in front of people and talking about those deep experiences because they're deep and then with it comes emotion and you know waves and then I look and I see

somebody you know crying and then I'm I'm trying to say something their emotions are you know and it's it's amazing to stand here and kind of dance with all of that energy you know but it is beautiful yeah yeah thank you thank you well done yes never alone with God how could you be alone you're all one yes I have no needs and meditation makes sense all those things just dropping into the dust but then can any of them come back in a healthy way yes when their reflections of your holiness it's it's a healthy symbol still a

symbol a healthy symbol so you can attract someone into your life a person a teacher a friend a counselor whatever it is a TV show the comment in a a sentence in a song you can manifest things that are reflecting your togetherness instead of your complete dysfunction right yes right that that's all fear is is false evidence appearing real and it does seem pretty darn real um oh yes thank you remind me if I forget again in three seconds okay um so I greatly appreciate did you want to say something Yes dear right

right that concept of the Apostles going to sleep and let me tell you man they couldn't resist it because it was too overwhelming subconsciously they knew what was happening and it overwhelmed them so they had to go to sleep the sleep they went into was like picture this this was so and I mean right now my my whole body is all filled with chills right you know the very idea that they had to go to sleep was a statement of this is killing me what's happening right now in the garden is killing me they went into a half dead

state Jesus teaching us however will none of you stay awake with me and I've I've had that feeling and maybe everybody but I'm only going to speak right for myself but that feeling where is everybody I oh my god I've had that you know walking the streets alone just going where is everybody meaning not people bodies oh there's one no it's in my life where is everybody how how did I lose everybody everything friends or whatever else they they go but when you hold this it's incredible what rebirth looks like

even if you thought those friends and your lovers your partners your husband's wife your children even if you thought they were going to be there eternally to birth you into a better life like like midwives of sorts if they were all stoned they weren't great midwives say goodbye to them I'll have my baby on my own the baby being my Christ self I'll just go and have my baby on my own no no I need others yeah but they're all stoned they're all drunk they're all out of their minds they're they're

non-believers they're angry people you know and we settle so that we're not going to face being alone try it just you know some people will stay married dysfunctionally so that they don't die alone die alone there's advice yeah yeah yeah careful man careful you first you and God man get that right not perfected but at least that's your commitment then you're safe enough to bring other people and when your commitment is right please stand for a closing prayer remember folks hand on your heart or

both it's up to you but remember this is not just a message of hope it's reality it starts as hope when we felt hopeless then it becomes a really solid reality let other people see the changes going on in you be the change you want to see in the world the light of God surrounds us the love of God unfolds us power of God protects us and the presence of God watches over us wherever we go God is I am we are and so it is peace be with you all bye bye