Memories: The Real Story

hello and welcome everyone this is our friday night spiritual insights with michael murdad we share this program every friday at 5 30 arizona time today we're going to talk about memories memories clearly there's obviously two main kinds positive memories happy et cetera negative memories sad unfortunate incidents in your life and so on generally there's two types but what's interesting to me is that human beings think they actually know which ones are which but in the third category there's not a

positive negative but it just open because the open mind says today a positive memory became a negative memory on another day a negative became a positive so it's like the realm of surreal instead of just linear positives and negatives and you pin it in place permanently um the universe isn't permanent like that so memories oh my goodness you know positives uh i've known so many clients over the years who oh i have positive memories about a partnership a lover whatever and then when they've done personal work they

realized oh my god i thought this was a a wonderful lover i was with and then i learned about being present and they were never there now i feel kind of yucky and then it turns the ego wants you unhappy with positives such as them being lost and not no longer positive or becoming attached and obsessed on positives because that attachment's still going to be ego but the ego also loves negative memories because you're miserable so the ego wants to take you in either direction but under its interpretation and guidance it

doesn't want you ever to just be at peace so to be at peace there's two routes with memories there's two routes one would be you heal memories as they come up you learn to just heal things you you know the positives you don't go oh this one person was a wonderful lover so that's a positive you say you know what i was there too i created if it was anything decent about it at all i created that thank god so apparently my growth as a being brought me a more positive thing now cut and retire that person don't

stay attached because if you stay where they're the credit then you have an attachment to them and with negatives instead of oh bad bad bet you just go wait what can i learn from that i stay in my center i learn from this and i learn from this and both become my betterment i do not swing the negatives and and and drown and i don't go to positives and give credit to others and become basically caught in transference i'm going to just stay in my center and just wow you know wow yeah that's me of growth and you know

it's amazing to be able to do that memories memories memories there's romantic memories there's painful memories wounds childhood but it'd be who it behooves us all to stop for a moment and ask about those memories check in like what memories you have when you close your eyes um let me take a look you know i'm gonna look at it's kind of like checking the acacia crackers you close your eyes and you say five years old just like you're scrolling open or entering the acacia records five years

old and then what comes guys do you go oh my god that was so funny in the light or oh or is there avoidance or is there it's empty it's blank look back at this had a couple clients this week that the topic of memories came up and um wow you know if you go back and you say okay that relationship now remember today you close your eyes you go back to that relationship you might go oh that was funny and it was great and then another day wait you know it wasn't because everything in life is mixed you know

think about it you could you could win a marathon the pain of running the marathon is there and the victory is there so you have a memory marathon memory and you go was that positive or never negative i have both because that's how this world is it would be ideal for us to be able to see say to ourselves running it wasn't fun per se there were there were painful moments but what i got from that tenacity follow-through etc that's mine so i now turned the negative into a positive then the positive the winning

yes that was fun but you know what i'm a great person and i i love that it's not the winning it's the i'm a great person and i'm glad that i created something that mirrors my value keep the dialogue about yourself sounds like i'm speaking about being a narcissist you know keep it about yourself but it isn't because we're talking about learning and true value a narcissist does not believe they need to learn anything you know it just it's it's directed selfishly nothing i'm

saying is selfish where the narcissist it's selfishness this is no this is self-oriented as opposed to selfish so yeah so memories um if i look back and say five years old and i noticed consistently negative or blocks or you know blackouts um that might tell me something and um there's two ways you can access memories the spontaneous they come up and the soul-searching you investigate both are valuable both also have their pitfalls um if you're weak willed and wounded heavily wounded god stuff could just come

popping up instead of fun spontaneous just hitting you and hitting you and hitting you and hitting you and that wears you down can croc create things like chronic fatigue wears you down could cause depression because it wears you down this is happening to me where it's soul-searching is let me check this out see i'm conscious i'm a decider i'm a master in my journey not a victim the other would be more like a victim so you take time you know and you look at it and go wow um i don't really like thinking about

this era or that era children don't really develop an ease to have memory till at least five for different reasons i was telling one of the clients this week um when you reach that certain age you're going to school so you have new memories so they're they're more likeable or keepable where on the other hand when you're three and four a lot of things it's still infant or it's still you know child like so everything's kind of mom feeds this everything's the same every day so it all blends together um

but having that conflicted mind is my life good was it positive was it was my marriage good was it bad was that job good was it bad that's not an empowered state become clear i could say well are you asking my overall view or are you asking something else you know you could say to yourself or somebody doing the investigating with you you know if somebody says how was your marriage okay well if it was 10 years 20 years long or whatever how was it like in one sentence sometimes we know in one sentence unhealthy

from the beginning and we stayed because we were too scared to split up i mean you can summarize like that but does it mean we never laughed once does it mean we never enjoyed the same movie does it mean we never anything um no that's impossible to say most of the time um especially the longer the relationship you know the more memories um i don't know if you guys uh i don't know if you all remember there is an elvis song memories you know memories press between the pages on my mind so you have that uh it's very poetic

though memories pressed between the pages of my mind and you guys might like the line second line uh it's repeated twice in the song memories sweetened through the ages just like wine quiet thought come floating down or thoughts and settle softly to the ground it's funny to say that because leaves are blowing outside falls coming to many places on the planet like golden autumn leaves around my feet i touched them and they burst apart with sweet memories the second verse is something like of holding hands in red bouquets

and twilight trimmed in purple haze and laughing eyes in simple ways and quiet nights and gentle ways or gentle days with you oh you know it's like memories you know sweet memories this song is even the tone it sung the pace it's contemplative you know and sounding like it's trying to be positive but clearly something isn't happening or didn't happen whatever the case may be you know so it feels like that memories pressed between the pages you know of my mind there's memories and i can flip pages and

what am i really feeling what am i really thinking when i close my eyes i get spontaneous memories when i close my eyes and search find on my computer of my mind i can say five you know or whatever the case may be um here's what's sad in my opinion if throughout my life i was treated hurtfully or shamefully or made to feel shame when i flash back and say okay five if that's the error it was it actually affects me today it's only a memory and it's subjective because it depends when you ask me it depends

what's being brought up um it's so strange but your ego wants to do the search find with you the human ego is very very obsessed on being the one who controls our lives and our thoughts and our memories hey you wanna i hear you wanna think back at five ten i i i hear you know you're having a little reminiscing going on let me help you with that and uh and it doesn't do well it comes up with garbage i'm not one to tell you to pretend things were good if they weren't or a particular incident was good if it

wasn't i'm also not one to tell you to try to ruin every incident um i saw a movie once where a woman was kidnapped or something and um she sort of dealt with stockholm syndrome in the sense that's uh sort of developing some sort of sympathy for or even feelings for your captor and um finally when she's rescued you know sees her husband she had been intimate with this person you know and and she just cried and said sweetheart i'm so sorry you know when i was there i started to think i i enjoyed that now did she

nobody knows i've always told students and clients of mine that dealt with sexual abuse one of the most challenging things is did i ever enjoy anything and i'm not telling you did i'm telling you it's a challenging question because no you didn't enjoy abuse come on we know that and you can affirm that absolutely right on but being touched did it ever was it ever a nice little tickle did you ever get attention did you ever feel like attention now many of you would say no and that's good i'm proud i'm happy for you i'm saying

that some there was a i felt like i was getting attention or a tingling somehow well are you evil for that comes the question then it begs that question and here's what i answer and you guys shouldn't be typing stuff on here that that you know uh rashly on on the feed here where you say um oh my god he's saying this and now i feel good or i feel bad stop just wait let me finish and if you've already typed something don't worry about it but i say to people look have you ever stood outside and a breeze comes in it

your body responded you know your nipples kind of respond or or you got chills up your back or whatever yeah well do you hate the wind do you hate the breeze for that dang breeze you dare you know made me feel a tingle and it was a day that was a bad day somebody passed away and i was sad and yet you made me feel oh what was that that's all just keep it objective it's not my fault it was just the body reacts and it does that it just does that smack your hand you'll make a little red mark it just does

things it's not like a fault or blame orientation so you know go easy and when it comes to memories i would say try not to justify but also try not to condemn try to look at things and what can i gain or learn from that that's all if i was with somebody that wasn't present got it got it that's really cool to see that i think now from now on i think i'd like to be with somebody who's present oh that's so magical isn't it you know it's very cool but what if that person that's magical

with me four times one time they're not present are they bad no i learned about that so now i can say are you okay are you here very cool you know um stay present let memories come to you at your request and you are the one who decides what to do with them try not to let memories haunt you don't let them become a fantasy of positives that aren't real nor haunt you like ghosts that aren't real do your best with that i could say if someone said you were married how was your marriage what do you want to know

well how was your marriage what is it you want to know you see because i'm not going to just be fooled so to speak into a blank statement you know just a blind statement of some kind what are you wanting to know well uh did you guys get along a lot of challenges a lot of our you know a lot of challenges there were post trauma things that this gal dealt with and from childhood and you know a lot of triggers and yeah it was very challenging you're asking about that no communication um communication challenge because of the things i just

shared uh what about the two of you in terms of spirituality oh excellent really love that this gal to this day is very spiritual see it depends what you're asking me um can there ever be a memory for me for you anybody that catches us off guard yes absolutely which is especially what the ego wants to do but the spirit of god also doesn't mind you getting caught off guard it's almost like it's an opportunity to do something healing with it oh my god where'd that come from spirit's saying ah doesn't matter where

it came from what are you gonna do with it ego sewing saying uh doesn't matter where it came from let's you know let's depress over it so just be careful with these kinds of things memories memories memories memories to me all of us can say should say um memories to me are going to be made of value i'm going to use this memory to heal i'm going to use that memory to make happy you know wow that was very cool and sometimes if there's a memory of sadness let me sit with that and be sad for a

moment but don't drown in it only use it to do what you just said that you're willing to look at that memory to learn from it you affirm that to yourself and then you stick to that rule you know um memories by definition are not about tomorrow right memories i have all kinds of amazing memories about right now about tomorrow none of that makes sense memories are not happening right now they are if negatives ghosts or positives fantasies of what was what you wish it were what it wasn't and let you down

but generally speaking memories are not positive they're not healthy because they're not about now unless you pull them to the now to take you somewhere better then it's a positive it's a healthy thing anytime memories pull you back even if i'm doing soul searching and i'm going to go okay let me look back sometime you know you're doing breath work rebirthing any kind of soul work and you go back if i go back in time i'm already off center i'm not in the now you bring memories to the now

even though that well that defeats them because now they're not memories they're present experiences you're basically taking them up now to the now and you're turning them into something of value you take all the leaves of the past you bring them into the now you put them in the press you know the oil press you put them in the press you see what you can extract from them and then oh look at that those old rose petals oh man i've got some rose oil on me this is amazing that's what you've got to do with

memories some people won't like what i'm saying because they're going to go well no i want to have memories why are you getting upset you get to have them in the now no don't you just sometimes want to go oh wasn't that wonderful why how about making them still wonderful instead of they were if they were in the past wonderful and they're not now i'm already a little sad no i'm not some people would say i'm just really happy about how it was but there's a part of you that will

recognize oh god i wish i had that still i wish i had that wonderful experience be careful because even your most positive adventures into memories will still make you realize and that's not happening now and what's really peculiar is there are things like there are uh because because memories are all so convenient there are movies i've seen and i thought oh that was such a fun movie and i'll be telling somebody about it today like you know uh oh did you ever see a movie it was really really cool

then i go watch it i'm like oh my god tell me now this it's like i don't remember this being so boring or bad acting you know so it's kind of funny that way memories of a relationship you really can't count on them so i'm just going to extract the oil out of it and wear what serves me today you know that's my take it doesn't work for everybody because if i don't have a good present life technically i need to have memories it's all i live on um you know like how many movies have

been made on athletes or actors that were once famous they lost all that so they live on the memories um tim allen did a spoof galaxy quest on all the you know the star trek-ish battlestar galactica type movies and you know they're around signing autographs you know we now declare this mall open with the scissor you know this bridge open and it's that's all they can do is live the memory of what they were to people but if you weren't even really present then and enjoying it because you never knew when your show was gonna get

canceled you never even took time to absorb it so it's really you know it's really peculiar when you think about it um this concept it's like it's all just um whatever you're in the mood to feel you'll access you'll attract to yourself even if it's only subconsciously that you were in the space to remember that i mean i could sit here and share examples and personal history of for hours and hours just on this topic i'm just trying to distill it down like i'd like to do a lot of things

distill it down to the essentials because there are so many analogies oh my god that could download to me right now a movie that showed this a song that says that it's personal experiences but again back to what i said a little while ago it's unfortunate because i can have a really positive recollection of something that somebody else beats it up and makes it go you know into bad um friends and uh students and so forth when they've had really great uh marriages great families uh of origin you know or

marriages or great intimate experiences i tell them please don't erase that don't come into my healing workshops and try to turn something that was wonderful into something negative only let the negatives come up if that's what we're working on so you can process them but but you do not have to out of obligation to oh we're healing old stuff try to try to make uh something a negative you know it's like uh um for for me uh my life with my own children i think was stellar just fun stellar i won't go on to the details

because i've shared that in different talks here and there but stellar just just like a fantasy in terms of the fun playfulness i was there for them and we were bonded really good when they reached adolescence and had having had some abuses from somebody things turned they they distanced a little they hurt a little they didn't tell me about this and didn't want to talk about it so things kind of shifted now if you say hey your relationship with your kids when which part stellar beautiful that's

mainly what i remember but then there's also an awareness not something i embrace as a i wear it like oh terrible uh ending with my kids it was more like an unfortunate thing it does not it does it's not permitted to taint the good that i have extracted as an oil that i can wear and still enjoy and laugh about oh my god the number of events and memories and stories with laughter and with their mom too some great great great stuff and you know the relationships go through their own dark night even if they start off well

they go through a dark night where all the yucky stuff has to get looked at and dealt with where they usually end at that point but if we're tenacious enough even if we part ways because you don't have to stay with somebody if things are bad but if you part ways um if you're if you're healthy enough man you can say all right that ended but what can i learn from that that dark period for example so when my kids went a little south in terms of behaviors or hurts wounds affecting them uh uh distancing from or whatever you

know from things that went on in their lives whomever they blame me for a day and a half they blame their mom for a day and a half they blame somebody you know go through all these periods um what i chose to do is stay in my center because people will go through their things and i can tell a full story now the joyful blissful the dark night which is not bad it's a dark night of the soul period where we had to look at deeper darker issues and then emerging did i emerge from it with appreciation sanity and hopefully good a

good uh relations with them yeah i i never gave up and would do anything else if one got so far gone any of your kids or mine or your parents or your partners or anything you part ways not with regret because then that means you're not actually doing this in a healthy way do it with hurt regret hate resentment blame you're not processing it properly just you know you can feel a little ouch it's okay just don't get absorbed in it this too shall pass it's a great affirmation to use when going through any form of the dark

night of the soul this too shall pass but it'll pass a lot better if i'm sane than if i get caught up in it all okay and i know some of you have gone through unimaginable you know kinds of hurts so you might have hurt memories and so on um all i can say to you is die of the old and be born again it's always easier to be born again when you have your spiritual support team god christ holy spirit divine mother angels have a support system and then also have a human support system that will help you birth a new life and give you new

memories beautiful memories um god you know there are there are but we we have we have what's called eden shire live it's a program that ran through all you know most of the year 2020 and in that program one of the one of the days that i just did spontaneous talks and other people hosting two shared but one of the days i spoke i i went into i said you know it's interesting i'm driving down the street the song reminiscing comes up by the little river band from australia wow that wow that's you know that's a cool song

and then somebody i'm talking to hey how's it going oh i'm good i'm just reminiscing i went well interesting then i went and got on the the program hi everybody how's it going and somebody brings up reminiscing that's when i sit and go oh the universe is calling in some way michael yes time for reminiscing you know it's like that now the ego can call to you too what are you going to do with the reminiscing reminiscing by name doesn't really have a negative connotation uh generally speaking but uh yeah

reminiscing wow like ruminating reminiscing yeah you know then wow that was fun oh my god yeah i remember that you know and pretty cool you know and when you heal guys as i'm gonna come to a close when you're healing it's the weirdest thing because the files and programs that the ego used to try to drag you drag you past to to to taint or destroy your memories the most negatives are gone it's weird like you might be able to drag them up i mean you might be able to go okay wait there's gotta be and then you can pull

one they're not as in the foreground they're not the only things you find anymore it starts and and really a good way to conclude this talk and bring it to that you know that critical mass point where guys guess what boom you know the pinnacle which is i get it i get it so memories it's not just to talk good bad or you can access them spontaneously or you know through soul searching there's also a pivotal moment where i start to notice how come the negative memories aren't as plentiful as they

were oh i must be aging and somebody might tell you oh you're probably just getting no i'm healing healing is actually a spiritual thing it's also a psychological it's a soul-level thing but it's a psychological thing but it's also a biological thing a neurological thing the the neurons that remembered negative incident number one two three four all the way up to a hundred suddenly it has it only has one left five and eight left 24 28 16 59 you know whatever it's it's just got this little

basket of a few pieces left and it's like what used to be a hundred pieces are now 20 and they're sort of strewn about they're bits and pieces of memories and then some of those are going to go some of those are going to go and yeah if i if i really try hard anywhere in that basket is there the letter a is there the letter you know or the number one is there is there a 16 in there you know you can go back to it so if it's like an alphabet it letters you scrabble kind of thing what am i looking for here and you might

find a z and you might be able to try to make a word out of z and whatever else but quite beautifully do not react to not having them do not do not think something's wrong with you and do not go overboard to try to dredge it up the hard part is that some of us we black them out and that's not the same as they're gone healed we black them out because shames guilts you know um so we have to learn to discern between those one thing i've done with people is if you say to me i had a car accident but did some healing it's completely gone

but it was very traumatic some people died i was uh really broken up my body but i feel really great it's all gone now if you're coming to me and i sense that you're asking you know maybe for some checking or healing on this or we're doing bodywork um yeah i might test it one way let me do some bodywork and see if there's memory cellular memory of the accident let's pretend there's nothing we find i mean i'm just please this is just an example i'm not saying that literally i would do

this um maybe the session's over everything's fine and the person's kind of chilling and recalibrating on the table maybe slap the hands to see if they jump and get startled just testing you know and maybe you honk the horn in the car or maybe you know i'm saying that my style would be to approach it from several angles because humans if they are blacking things out they have a system a gauntlet that you will not get through but it's usually once they knew it worked they didn't continue to develop

other angles of blocking once they knew one thing worked they just keep playing that same system of defense like people do in sports and military they just if one thing works enough they get used to doing it becomes predictable so as a healer we sometimes might do something unpredictable i call those some of those healing arts flying under the radar some of them are designed like hypnotherapy in emdr to fly under the radar because they know you've got defenses set up so it's another way of checking things

because the mind gets so twisted first and foremost let god guide you as to hey you know what god i'm not even going to worry about what numbers or pieces or alphabets you know are in the basket you you guide my healing process and then out of the blue you have a dream of one letter or one number you have a dream you take advantage of that moment say so and so was brought up in this dream i surrendered them to god done whatever your process would be and consider it done god will support you in pieces coming up if you

surrender your healing process to spirit as your healer your guide doesn't mean you don't have humans to help human guides human healers counselors but i'm saying the overall my overall process is to be done under god's guidance it's a beautiful way to look at it okay i remember a star trek episode where the new next generation i guess i only saw a few of those but where the captain was captured by some bad guys who were torturing him and they were trying to convince him that he was seeing something that wasn't there just

because they thought it was fun to torture him like this and he said no no no they kept torturing torching finally he gets rescued and so on now he's back at the ship it's the end of the show and he confides to somebody he said i have to tell you something at the end even though i still told them no i actually did start to see it you know and the guy gave him reassurance which he you know is right to do um but that's that's how the ego works you want to see and and distill things down to an oil of

positive the ego is going to still try to get you to convert everything to um bad to negative to scary to unpredictable to it's going to come back again or you can't trust anybody stay tense when you're being intimate because you know just say no no i'm gonna fall out if you're being intimate and stuff comes up and you get triggered just say to partner you know can can we can we hold for a few minutes that would be great but when you do don't just sit there hold and decompress you command your muscles

we're safe let go and let god that kind of statement and just feel the joints and everything relaxing and you know try that try that with foods everything was so traumatic at the dinner table all the time stop bite chew thoroughly sit back and and see how you feel see if you can see if you can enjoy that you know can you kind of go wow i'm i'm tasting that and it tastes great be in the moment slow down be in the moment that in itself helps us biologically and neurologically uh transition some of these things

turning them to positives all right i pray you are well and i pray that this and all i do and teach and heal is some way helpful to you guys if not please find something or someone that is please feed your soul and heal your soul heal it feed it give it a new life everybody deserves uh the time of the year it's so auspicious this particular talk happening in the fall let things fall soul search do a little bit of memory search when you close your eyes what do you see is it odd is it just automatically dark and negatives what can i do to distill

all that down and recycle it to something useful even if it's garbage let's recycle it and let it become soil for the new tree i want to plant consider it anyway okay god bless peace be with you all thank you for your time join us anytime for different talks uh 5 30 on fridays arizona time sundays at 10 o'clock we do our inspirational sacred services uh sunday services and um and anything anytime you guys could or would you donate i do most everything i do free but donate when you can it's much appreciated okay

greatly greatly appreciated because it's you know how we uh feed the system that we use to keep everything running all right but god bless you all peace be with you bye-bye