Tirade: Retiring from Tantra & Healing Sexuality

Frst of all, let me thank you guys for even being open to hearing, learning, sharing any of this. You may or may not know how huge it is for planet earth and humanity, just a simple thing like this." I'm gonna sit and listen to a talk or watch a demonstration." As simple as it seems and brief in the number of hours as it seems, we underestimate what that's doing for the global consciousness.

Do I think you fixed all humanity yet? Maybe not, but you've made a difference. Because you've downloaded an acceptance around this. That this can be done right, and that's very important. You know, I've always said this is kind of you know funny and gross at the same time. There's two things you don't typically hear people talk about it parties - sexuality, sexual trauma, and colon therapy.

And yet, you know what? Both are really good for you. But nobody's going to talk about them, which means they're not going to become that popular to the human race because it's too shameful. So now they don't go get colon therapy because it's too shameful but it's actually important for your overall body's health but people aren't going to do it so people are walking around with sexual trauma and they can't talk about it it's not going to help the matter so you know I've taught many times and

talked to many times and written books on tantra and sacred sexuality it's not a topic you expect to hear at a spiritual center and to me I would say how spiritual is that Center if they shut down a topic I'm not saying it has to be an overt part of everything there I'm just saying can people talk about this so this gets all very very tricky you know if we can't be bring one of the most wounded topics on earth to a spiritual center like this then where can we and I think that yoga centers should incorporate a bit more of this

because it's safe but its body oriented they're opening the body the instructor should be far more trained on reading the body and opening up sexual issues I think that would be really really healthy if yoga instructors knew more about what's going on and opening up certain parts of the body I spent a lot of my years in this.

I had an ex-wife that was abused and I had children that were abused, that we found out much later, so so this topic is very dear to me. I don't do it because of that. I would have done the work anyway, so I'm not like triggered because of my children and I'm over compensating by working with this.

I would have done it anyway, and was doing it. Nevertheless I really feel I'm aware of what this does to people. I watched it ruin one of my children and just watched her descend into terrible states of being and lifestyle. Mind stopped, everything. She lost everything because something happened, and what was worse was she refused to talk about it.

So not talking about this stuff is not going to help. It's not going to make you better. It's not going to make it not hurt. It's hurting even when you don't think about it. It's still having effects nevertheless. Probably a year or so ago when I moved to this area b-but a year or so before I moved to this area which is like five six years ago I decided, becaus Ii was teaching workshops on this kind of work and healing the sensual healing on the and their hurts and trauma healing and a probably a year before I moved here I

decided I'm not going to be doing much of the workshops anymore I mean one reason I did the workshops is so that i could teach people how to do this so that i don't need to do this in a session i could just teach people to do it. I wrote about it as well so I kind of tried to cover all bases but I also stopped doing the workshops and it did only a couple cents and they were a limited number of people and only focusing kind of on the healing like you saw here but more intensive and lasted a couple days so very intensive stuff but

when I work at a spiritual center and because of people's stuff and stigma and whatever it's not as easy to actually say I'm going to have a workshop on tantra sacred sexuality or sexual healing because people get weird about it. So in respect to people here, before I even came here, I just stopped doing it and only did a couple of workshop since and have only chosen to have a couple of private sessions where I allowed myself to work with people at this level, because that's what they felt they

needed but that's about it. Now at the same time when I have a workshop like that I see how scared people are. They sign up and then they back up then they sign up and then because there's it's such a sensitive topic so for various reasons partly because I'm serving here as a spiritual leader, partly because I've done this a long time, partly because of this and that the other other reasons, I just thought recently, I'm retiring from doing this work.

So one reason we're doing this today is because I won't do it again.Yeah, so I feel bad about that to a degree. I feel if I were sharing my guts about it I almost feel a little bit like a failure because of it. Because there's people hurt so I'd like to help but there's also, in this position as a spiritual leader, it's so hard for people to accept that kind of thing.

So I just like okay you know I I don't mind I will still work with somebody if they come in I'll still do most of what you saw here in sessions. iIm not going to do workshops any more on the topic because of the numerous things that flip around and around that you go through when you do this kind of work. To a degree there's a temptation to feel like dang you know if I don't do that what what are people going to do? Well there's of course other healers and i will refer people to people that can do the work, but for the most part I'm like i think that's it.

Yeah so... yes (question from audience) In what way? What do you mean by coaching? Talk you through it and explain? Absolutely! Yes, I mean I'll always help. I'm on earth to help. That's why it's hard for me to say - because I never really believed in drawing the line like that.

To me, it's what a person needs - let me help - and I didn',t I never wanted judgments or restrictions or anything to control what I'm gonna do. So I say yes when someone wants to work on something and I would definitely help. And at the same time, it's a subject that I've seen so touchy for so many people and for so long that I also will draw the line, which is something I don't typically want to do because it almost feels like then that thing has too much power.

So part of me refuses to give in to that, but trust me if you do this work, especially as a male, it can get really weird for people and it can really confuse people. You know you have to imagine the quantity of hurt that's in a human being when they've been abused like that - especially rage, distrust, suspicion all kinds of things and because you're the healer that's there when they wake up it's going to go on you and it's not just people I'm saying I'm because clients have been fantastic but just people in general are just so

freaky about the topic so when you're a male you're especially suspect to do this kind of work that's why I said look you do have a friend I'd like to teach them let me show your partner let me show your you know friend how let me teach it in a workshop to stay as clean and objective as possible which which has helped a tremendous amount because it helps people realize that I'm not in it for weird reasons but you can't convince everybody of that and when I see that I'm really trying to help

people on a topic like this when they start if ever they were to twist and make this an issue it's counterproductive to everything I ever wanted to do and and that's important enough to me to say you know what I'm not going to do that anymore I mean I'm not feeling her ass there's nobody you know has a problem with it I'm just saying in general when I moved Dona I had spoken a year before at a conference on sexuality the conference was run by people that maybe didn't have the greatest integrity but they asked me

to be a speaker now when I went and spoke what I spoke was against sexual addiction and healers not having integrity which isn't what they wanted me to talk about because that applied to them but but I did speak about it and a lot of people were there going thank you we needed to hear that some of them were just blessed and just loved it so I finished I did my work I downloaded the light you know let people learn that peace but a year later that group of people here in this town ended up getting in trouble with the police

because they were just inappropriate with people in their workshops and were in whatever sessions so what happened was when I was coming here there were people that were the old-fashioned churchy people they didn't really like the idea of this me coming here to be the spiritual leader. And so what they did is, they actually stole the mailing list from this place and put out a mailing to keep them from wanting me here and said "Michaels associated with that inappropriate sexual group" when in fact what I did was a year

previous I did a talk against that behavior. But that didn't suit their goals, so there was this little scandalous thing for a day and a half. The people of this church were like "ah you know" and I said" hey, whatever." I spoke and I told them, I taught them healthy and that's it.

And and was good because the people here that wanted to know the truth they believed and they let that go. But you guys created in this town people that were very inappropriate because in this town everything is so "New-Agey" and "let everything be" that nobody said "no" to some things.

And and it's a little bit of a problem here. So I come here and I told them when I did lectures, "no." Learn to be appropriate. Learn to be healthy. But the fact that I... even things here that we filmed - toning...on a woman's body? Anybody can take that and twist it into anything. And because it's so contrary to my intention and I don't want to be part of that twisting that people have in their minds...

Is that making sense? So I'm creating the video so that people can watch, see the techniques. What I chose to do when it comes to Tantra and sacred sexuality, is this. I chose to say "let me show you how to develop techniques where you can do all these things without actually being disrobed.

And one of those techniques is actually quite amazing. And that is a woman says to me "Michael, you know all the sexual stuff," and it could be "I'm terrified." It could be "I'm angry." One of the best exercises she can do is she'll wrestle with me, or you, or whomever. So you get that, or it could be your partner, you get with your partner and you wrestle, but i don't mean wrestling as who wins.

I mean you just get the two people lying down and they start to do this. You just resist each other a little and you kind of move and you rise together and you resist there's no sudden, there's no flipping somebody. It's just this. if I move this way. you resist me and go that way and I go and we're moving. Every muscle should be engaged.

Every muscle we move we move and she should concentrate. And it's only a minute, one minute exercise. And we're moving and we're moving and she should concentrate on anger and you resist and they concentrate on anger and you're resisting. So you're helping to bring. But she's allowed to vent it, like the other exercises.

She's allowed to vent it. But why would I work on anger in a sexual technique? Because a lot of people's sex and sexual arousal and orgasms are rooted in anger. Anger. One gals telling me "Oh Michael, I don't feel really wounded. I'm very orgasmic I feel great." We wrestled and she started having orgasms, and I said "Now how did you have orgasms there was no stimulation?" And it broke her heart to realize - that means all those times when I thought I was having amazing sex and orgasms I felt the same as I just did

with you and I didn't even know it. I'm enraged." So my sexual experiences in her case were actually rage and it was venting she was venting the rage and then the result was like you saw here. The shaking, and it was for her an orgasm, like she actually had orgasms. But what was really happening? Her anger was getting moved out of the way and then that feeling of rage was coming through.

So that wrestling is great in the sense for that healing, but then take a break, do it again, and she can concentrate on sensuality instead of anger. And now she gets to let go now it's like oh I want this and I you know she can move him and play and you know all that and she gets to be in her feeling without the anger stuff there and will teach her or him teach them to separate the two and know what anger writhing looks like and what sexy writhing looks like. On a video, if you're watching.

they're the same. The only difference is what's happening in here and that's what's amazing. So we learn to get somebody to come out and they when they feel the difference not see it when they feel the difference it's like night and day. "Oh my god I'm present, I get to express myself and I feel great.

this is my body!" If you see some of the exercises where people were angry and I want my body back there's some really intense stuff that we didn't do obviously but when you take that and you let it be go ahead give that to me come on come on and you give a little resistance oh my god it's like yes and then do it sensually and it's yes but a different way is that all making sense all right? So I close with - the topic is understandably confusing to people.

When you guys decide to do healing work, even when it's healing work, not sensual or sexual healing, just healing work, I'm telling you in advance males or females that you're working with you know old or young when you bring that level of healing to people it's very powerful but it's for them it's going to be very vulnerable.

Believe it or not, they're going to be like "oh my god that's amazing." When they go home: "Why did you bring that up? I didn't want to think about that." Now, you're not even there and they're angry at you and you're just a wonderful healer friend you know younger small girl you know they're hating you.

And that guy - "He held me. He shouldn't have done that. I hate people holding me." But when you were doing your blissing out... But the head gets in and it'll start countering so this all healing is very vulnerable and you have to decide you know how much you can handle is the hill not just them how much can you handle because you will get some projections you will get some transference it's going to happen why and my metaphor is this it's like the old fairy tales where the princess takes a little potion and goes into asleep

your friends clients that come to you they have gone into a trance of trauma when you give them the potion to thaw out you know the story is they'll fall in love with the beloved that kisses them or the first one their eyes land upon when they wake up remember like those kinds of fairy tales. You're it.

You're the one who's there when they woke up from the trauma. They're often going to fall in love with you. There's a great Tantra teacher, a female, that said to me, "Michael, it's the strangest thing. My Tantra master is not attractive, not a great body, and there are certain features that are just unattractive," she said.

"But he worked on me and it felt so amazing inside, I fell in love with him. He's not at all attractive. He's not at all my type, and I fell in love with him." And that was a great story, because that shows you they're easily going to have some feelings for you, confused feelings, but along with the really wonderful, "God, I kind of like you," there's also going to be "how dare you! Why did you open this up? Now at night I'm not sleeping well and it's because you did

body work and toning." And we have to remember that we better be careful of what we're doing and be responsible. But how far can you go with people? Make sure you communicate. Tell them what you're doing and why. Keep it very clean. Let them know you're not interested. But that's not going to save you.

They're going to fall in love with you, because you're a great healer and they don't know how you open their heart. It's because you're supposed to be opening their heart. But the more intimate your work is the more naturally confusing. Does that make sense? So what some of the Tantra practitioners will do, is they keep it very cold.

They will charge you good amounts of money to be sensual or sexual with you and they'll say love, and they'll say words like that, but there's actually no care about you whatsoever, which is gross. But what it does succeed at is, it keeps the rules there and there's in a way less confusion on an intimate level for many of them.

I could not do that if I were going to be intimate with somebody I would have to feel love and respect for them. But then that's going to be even more confusing to feel loved and respected and intimate. You see where that's going. So guys just know it's a really highly charged subject know why I'm sharing that it's something that i won't do workshops, I don't think, probably ever again.

And it's not because I have a problem it's just it all the things i named and it's I've done it long enough. And it's always been my intention to teach people so they can just take it from there and me not you know always doing the work. So in a way I feel a little bummed about it like "God, you know, I hesitated to let that thing look like it had that much power.

" So I've wrestling with that for a while to where I've now come to peace with that's what I'm going to do. That's the greater good and I'm very confident that lots of you guys are capable of learning and doing that work. And if any of you say well can you teach some more things maybe we can do something like that just so you feel really confident to approach it more.

I'm very grateful that I've had such loving, trusting people and clients and so on, and I can say this much. If ever you've seen somebody heal, even the little samples here, if ever you've seen somebody go from "I don't feel at all, my body doesn't work at all. I'm terrified of men.

" And you can teach one gal to me said, "I'm terrified of men. I can't even imagine ever being intimate." Well why don't you go out..."I can't even go out with one" you know on and on, just terror. This was at a church, Toronto Canada, about 15 years ago. And "I can't even imagine even touching or kissing a man.

" So I said "let's go for a walk." And I took her by the hand up close and we walked around the parking lot of the church and just talked some more. What was I doing? Earning her trust - also out in public. All of it is so conscientious, and soon after she told me she was dating and very happily in a relationship.

I mean that which seemed impossible and all I did was take her hand and just walk with her you you know don't underestimate the power of you reprogramming people with the most simple things sometimes. You know the gal I met in high school who I went to look at something she was wearing a pen and she just jumped back in terror because somebody reaching for her neck was clearly bad news.

So I was like "wow, what was that?" So what came to me, even at those young years, I said "Do you mind? I'm gonna reach again but I'm gonna use the back of my hand." Do you see what I'm doing and why? None of this, but the back. "Can I just touch? Let me try?" Now, I didn't go all the way. Back off.

A little more, and back up a little more. Just the back of my hand. And I touch and she did not spontaneously combust or anything she thought she was going to do. "Now, I'm gonna go ahead with a finger. Is that ok? I'm going to touch that pendant. There we go." "And then hand, then your neck," and then I was doing this to her and she had no reaction, because it's gone.

You can reprogram people essentially by bringing them to that place that seems scary, but giving them a different outcome. Healing is always whatever the kind is always like bringing a person to the edge where they once were pushed off into trauma but they're not pushed this time.

That will not do it for them, it only leads them to it. You still have to ask them to notice that they weren't hurt. You can't just know, "That was great. I brought them to the edge and they didn't get traumatized." You have to ask them, "Now, did you notice what happened?" "Yes I did." "What was it?" "I don't know.

What do you mean?" "Say you said yes, but you don't." "What happened just now?" "Well you you did this with me." Yes, but did you see how that was similar to your previous trauma?" "Oh yeah, yeah." "But did it happen the same? "No.

" "I want you to say that you are not the same. All men are not the same. All people..." See, and that's sometimes what I do is get them to say it because we have to own our healing for it to really lock in. Otherwise it becomes like a theory in our head. "Oh yeah, that was interesting. Mmm-hmm that healing thing we just did, uh-huh," and they keep it at a distance.

When you ask them to speak it they have to breathe it in and integrate it. So remember that important piece at the end. There's a great quote in A Course in Miracles, Teach only love, for that is what you are." And that's to me what I've always intended to do when I was doing work like this.

Fortunately it's almost always been great. Once in a blue moon there would be somebody would have an issue or a question of you know integrity or intentions and all that and I'm really grateful that I haven't seen what other people have gone through because they were not appropriate and all that.

So I'm really grateful that it's generally felt clean and people felt appreciative. "Teach only love for that is what you are."