Self-Worth versus Self-Esteem

hello everyone this is michael murdad and it's time for our friday night spiritual insights with michael mirdad so today we're going to talk about the difference between self-worth and self-esteem okay it's um kind of fun when i use these contrasting kinds of themes you know some people think such things are the same there are so many topics in psychology spirituality self-help that are misrepresented or misunderstood i love being one that can help just you know do my best anyway my part to kind of bring it together and say you know

here's the difference or here's the truth about these things and i appreciate you guys being open to learning and listening i guess you know so thank you um so people do assume these things are the same but self-worth is really something that comes from our connection to spirit self-worth the word worth think of as being similar to value and our true value comes from our true identity so self-worth comes from spirit our our connection to god self-esteem the word esteem is like saying my reputation esteem a person of high

esteem reputation you can have that because of money because of family of origin you know or whatever royalty or whatever so people you know think that that's the same it's not the same one comes from god one comes from self one is spiritual one is ego based so they're not the same so that kind of cuts to the chase already and i would say you know when you're thinking about self-self-worth if you don't have any kind of a prayer meditation practice how could you be filling up creating worth now let's

use worth to be similar for a moment and only in metaphor your your um your value your dollar worth okay your your financial worth i think that you can only get more funds in a bank account if you deposit those funds and then it builds and you have more financial worth on the third dimensional level if you don't make deposits in terms of spirituality like prayer and meditation how could your worth be increasing so if you don't think if you think you have self-worth but you don't have a spiritual practice you can't have

any worth because worth comes from god you can say oh no my worth comes from my success no your self-esteem came from your successes don't mix the two don't confuse the two because then you're going to be guilty for confusing other people of such a thing so just be real be honest be clear bottom line if you don't have a spiritual practice you know there's uh there's little or no chance that you have true self-worth which means you're going to feel a void inside a hole in the soul and that will

not be filled and so you'll compensate somewhere you know drugs relations or whatever it happens to be true self-worth is my value which is determined by god and i happen to have a relationship with god so i know that and guess what it's increasing every day how do i know that because i make a deposit when i make a deposit in the bank i know for sure you know that if i had 10 yesterday and i put in five today i have fifteen dollars that's simple math and it's the same with our relationship with god if i

pray and meditate i just happen to know with pretty fair certainty that today i have more connectedness than yesterday so that's something to consider self-worth um [Music] to me when there there are perks to this like i'm plugging in and i'm like michael says i should be able to know that i'm getting more every day great okay cool how do i know how do i know when it kicks in how do i know when it's real how do i know for sure do i have evidence that i that i have true self-worth and i would say

the more we get plugged in the more you'll feel like symptoms of it signs of it those would include what well to me creative inspirations happiness like jesus will tell you in a course in miracles christ teaches as a consciousness christ consciousness teaches you'll you'll be able to know from your feelings you know you'll be able to know you know from you feel now it doesn't mean you you have a bad day that you're suddenly not connected it just to say do you generally feel good energy do you feel inspired do you

feel happy do you like to help other people helping other people usually not always but usually comes from a sense of inspiration so i think it's kind of cool you know you feel that that's a good sign you know that seems to verify that maybe i feel kind of plugged in today sometimes feeling a level of energy in your body that most people could not have i mean they get you know they can't do as much work or work as hard i'm not saying because some people are obsessive and workaholics it's not the same but sometimes we could

say that having a little more zeal having a little more you know in chinese medicine you might call it jing power strength zip pizzazz inspiration happiness excitement not stimulation excitement but kind of like inspired excitement these are all signs that you're doing pretty well and i think you could say you have a fair fair quantity deposited of self-worth i mean to me that's a good way to just check in and see if it's for real um remember that self-worth is is not the same as more shallow terms steam or stimulus or working so hard to

burn yourself out it's not quite that it's it's um starting from the core inside you just feel it and if any of you can check in and just go okay let me see where i'm at do i accept that i'm made in god's image that probably helps fill me up with more self is you know self-worth so yeah i feel kind of connected and i do believe that i'm made in god's image that's a good sign self-worth is building do i believe i can connect yes do i believe that i can let go of guilts and chains in my past yes it's making room

for more true self-worth the more i feel connected the more you know i i feel like renewed energy the more i feel connected i mean this is like a whole ecosystem bliss wonderment power just joy um imagination peace the desire to want to help or even share my peace with other people i get some money and i want to share it that's all self-worth see self-esteem is how i look so self-worth i am self-esteem i look i appear okay tune into that being you know a very clear sign of a difference between the two um some people think it's kind of

egotistical to think the things i just shared like i'm connected to god i'm made in god's image i am a holy child of god self-worth is like saying god is the king of the universe king and queen of the universe and i'm a prince princess in this universe i am able to inherit all that god is some people would say oh that's that's evil to say that if you're a fundamental christian you might say that's evil to make such claims other people would say it's egotistical in the world of

psychology it's it's ego-based or self-worth they might call it ego base but no it's actually egotistical for me to say i am not made in god's image and i am unworthy of god's inheritance okay that's it that's that's ego so self-esteem is like saying let's bury all of our negative feelings self-worth and self-esteem both want to see that low self-worth is gone they want to see that negative things guilt shames regrets they're not there but in for different reasons spirit wants us to say they're not there

because it doesn't want us guilting ourselves shaming ourselves and judging ourselves the ego self-esteem doesn't want it there because it's an inconvenience on my false level of self self-esteem you know so self-esteem is like it's how i look and if something makes me look less than perfect i don't like it it's a threat see self-worth can't actually be threatened so guys when you have true self-worth you'll know one other reason you'll know is because people can't take it from you with a

word i mean we all feel a little hurt when people say things a little bit some of us more than others but you know um jesus jesus had people saying all kinds of things to him and he didn't like go oh man i wanted to be a spiritual teacher and now i can't because you guys don't like me it's so in you know impenetrable the armor of the lord i mean it's like you just hold this this is this is the truth of who i am now here's where it gets tricky if i say i'm going to know who i am and

i have high self-worth but my behaviors are constantly consistently hurtful and hypocritical then the self-worth is not real self-worth you could say oh you know michael said i can hold on to an identity of who i really am and i deserve it not if your behavior is completely contradicted you know because you would see an improvement my self-worth is shared with others watch this carefully if i have self-worth versus self-esteem see self-esteem is mine main main self-worth is mind slash ours i cannot have any self-worth that i'm

not willing to share with you my self-worth says i feel good today i would love to help you feel good self-esteem is i'm great period nothing more not how are you just that's all that matters it's very self-centered um so you know it's very narcissistic and self-centered and so on so we got to break that you know self-esteem is like uh not only do do i want my esteem noticed and i want to be seen as great it should be called self-esteem you know to be seen a certain way but self-esteem but there's more to it not only do i

need to hang on to this little identity i created for myself instead of the one god gave me i need people to sort of support it to inflate it to stroke my ego and naturally if those people are not stroking my ego my esteem starts to get threatened so i need to lash out at them and be angry and hate them and you know so that's where you see sometimes you know a person's esteem sort of gets their reputation gets attacked nobody likes that mind you but it gets attacked and we take it so seriously sometimes on even small levels

i told a story once where um you know one of my daughters um went in and just got something of mine that was personal and and and took it out and you know hey look i got daddy's this whatever it was and i remember my first response i was like a little shocked because she knew that privacy is to be honored for each other right but you know my first response was kind of shock my second response was how can i ever trust you again when you did something like this my third response was oops because it was not my self-worth

that was being breached broached connected contacted you know messed with it was only self-esteem and i saw it you know immediately took seconds but it's still and i felt bad even for the seconds that i was like angry hurt or whatever you want to call it betrayed oh well for me you know this is probably around probably around 1990 i think and um and then i said sorry you know i'm sorry you know i was just i was just mad because to me that was private see but underneath it what we need to learn to do is think

it wasn't just private i was attached to that privacy and we react because our attachment is not the privacy like we think it's the attachment to the privacy and so that was a quick immediate lesson that's how we have to do things guys see it and turn it around you're not bad you're not you know not connected with god when you make a mistake but if you refuse to own the mistake and clear it then you're probably leaning towards more ego based self-esteem i refuse to forgive you for this thing you've done

there's really nothing nothing in the universe that is completely unforgivable i know that we we believe there are some things and i know it's hard to even hear this you know no there's there's definitely some things that are unforgivable if there's anything unforgivable then there's something in me because we're all connected that's unforgivable and if i say something's unforgivable in my opinion of something somebody did to me then i too am condemned along with those i condemn so there's nothing and

people will eventually realize that um you know but there's really nothing that has any power over my self-worth over my self-esteem everything has power over self-esteem because it's not real and it's shallow it can easily be broken or spit on or stepped on or shamed scratched up because it's a facade self-worth poof through and through forward backward left right up down and out completely it's an it's an aura of light it's who i really am and thank god that can never be you know taken away or

or um threatened in any way so let's just real quick a couple things i'll share with you ideas of things that can harm our self-worth things now nothing can truly harm truly harm our self-worth but things that make us lose sight of it doesn't mean it's not there but we lose sight connection plug in to self-worth the things that really kind of take a toll um all of us could make our own lists and it would overlap so you you would be right to have named a couple things that i won't name i'm only going to want to

name you know maybe half dozen or seven or so something like that um so one of them is believe it or not certain memories shames wounds from past lives can keep me out of touch with my true self-worth and i could be living some of that knowingly and unknowingly i could be living the effect of you know um those events you know they just kind of you know they kind of cut us deeply um what i've done to others but also what others have done to me past lives obviously childhood childhood traumas it's the same thing things i did or

things other you know people did to me um you know that those moments where we've done something and our parents just look besides the raging they've done at times somewhat for some of us there's those times when the parents looked at us like oh my god i have completely lost hope in you faith you've you've completely let me down it's like even a dog is like you know sorry um so it's it's it it can really hit us it can really shame us and it's not their fault sometimes it is sometimes it isn't but

us believing it is our own responsibility they could have gotten all tripped out on us and i what can't believe a child of mine did that but um but it's up to us to let that roll off our back and and move into adulthood without without taking that on as our identity but we often don't succeed at doing that many of us um i'd say most people um which overlaps to a third item i'll say like um regrets mistakes and regrets um they lead us into negative experiences like there's regrets and mistakes

already wear on my self-worth potentially or my connection to self-worth but um but when my mistakes and errors you know and just things done regrets have led me into like horrible experiences it really weighs i can make a mistake nobody knows about it nobody sees it that's one level of uh shame or something but there's times when guys when we've made mistakes and it really kept going the times where um i've known people friends who have um said yes when they didn't feel they should have said yes to

going to a party and they ended up raped and it changed them forever it doesn't need to but it does i mean it does often and it wears on us because my first time i wanted to look a certain way and be a certain way beauty and love and now they took that away seemingly so we carry some of those things very harshly you know into our soul and it's really a drag but it's not god's will that we beat ourselves up god's saying do you know it what you know what you lost that day well my my my value might no

i lost my virginity now you lost your esteem which isn't you anyway it's just a kind of a shallow level of reputation whether it's your reputation with yourself or with others your self-worth was not touched damaged in any way really really wow thank you god you know if you asked god that's what god would tell you thank you so i really have value yes you still have value and you always will that's what self-worth looks like it's immune to all these you know uh crazy hurtful harmful things

that we do to ourselves and others um sometimes um a loss can take a toll on us like a loss of a loved one or a series of losses it can really i mean i've known people that have felt like i was raised an orphan it affected me i was raised without one parent it affected me kids teased me for only having one parent or things like that so losses of loved ones being the the the kid whose parents died you know i mean it's just so rude how kids can even be somebody's dad or mom dies they go back to school and people

are like oh your dad it's like what are you thinking to tease a kid for such a thing but we do and so even losses can you know can take a toll um having one or more you know significantly hurtful people in our lives just constantly badgering us that can take a toll and remember what i said it can't really affect self-worth but it can affect our connection to self-worth the self-worth is still there our true self is still there that's why our worth is still there because the true self is there and it's worth

everything it's the most valuable thing in the universe picture that really get that your worth yourself capital s your real self is the absolute most precious valuable thing on the planet in the universe i'll even say and some of you are going to be like no way i'm telling you there is nothing of greater value than our true self in this entire universe one reason i can prove that is because it's our true self that created the entire universe so we are pretty big figures in this story here okay

so there's that um negative self-talk you know just in our heads man oh you know you don't look good anymore and you don't this anymore it's only talking to the self-esteem try to see the difference when you hear yourself bad talking oh you know oh my hips you know um i shouldn't eat this cinnabon it's going to go right to my hips you know i'm actually only talking to my self-esteem there and it's not healthy talk so it's not i'm not in conversation with my self-worth right then i shifted to

talk about my self-esteem in other words i'm talking from my ego to my lower self and that means automatically by default i've shifted out of higher self and therefore i'm not addressing self-worth i'm only addressing self-esteem so just see the difference one more topic that affects us number seven i think we're on this is going to be an out of the blue one because the other applies to almost everybody this one's going to apply to only some people but some of you asked recently for me to

address this and rather than a full 45 minutes on this topic i'm gonna only include it um you know as one item okay and that is abortion um you know abortion is something that has affected a lot of people's connection to their self-worth um some people have had abortions and said thank god because something happened and it shouldn't have been i wasn't going to want to have a kid with this person and they learn their lesson and then they you know and they should be kind of grateful but they still

sometimes feel bad other times you know no support from a partner no support from us other you know it's just all kinds of reasons but um unfortunately there's a lot of people that have just seemed to maintain a lot of hurt you know low self-esteem and not realizing that it can go back to things like that i've known people you know who when you track things with them when you looked inside why they have a illness why they have terrible menstrual pains why they're having uniquely harsh menopause um

why they have um endometriosis or you know even um even in their life they might have had several miscarriages and you track all that back it's a lot of times um it tracks back to things like an abortion and i'm not trying to perpetuate you did something wrong i'm saying that people think they've done something wrong they hold it against themselves and it affects their you know sense of self-esteem again it can't really affect your worth but it'll disconnect you from your worth um so i'll say a few things about this

and um semi hesitant because the controversy around the topic i'm gonna tell you the spiritual perspective of it like it or don't like it believe it or don't believe it or whatever if it's not for you um sign off and don't listen you know if you want to stay afraid and guilty or ashamed or want to shame others for it you better sign off because that's not where we're going to be able to go because it's not the truth of god so for starters you have an abortion um if you are careless

sleeping around and you know because you do so you get pregnant every year and you abort every year just like like it's just like taking an aspirin for a headache i think that you're being very self-serving i think that you're being um hurtful to yourself and i think that you will see results from that karmic results from that consequences and i don't support that sort of behavior however in those cases where um something happens or an accidental pregnancy that you know isn't going to be a good thing to follow through with

rapes um you know or you're really young and it could just ruin your family um i know we don't all agree on all the details all i'm saying is generally i do believe that most of the time girls are not meaning to cause harm or be bad about it you know be selfish about it so i really feel for them i'm not telling you to do it or not to do it i'm telling you i just simply feel bad for anybody for any reason that ends up doing it i've worked with enough people to be able to not be one-sided to that and to

feel compassion because my god the kinds of things circumstances some people are in and people are often sincerely you know apologetic that they let something like that happen in their lives and they make changes man you can't wrong people for apologizing and making amends jesus said forever forever forgive people that have truly apologized and as long as they also make amends which means i'm going to try not to make this mistake again so just get the lesson guys just get it don't sleep with people

you don't want to have babies with and don't have babies with people that you don't love you know that you don't feel a certain love if you can do that if you could pull that off i mean you know i had children and it wasn't always in a total state of perfect blissful let's channel in beings from the higher realms you know sometimes just being intimate with your partner it happens um so so i understand the fears i understand the pros and cons and all that but i'm just going to say the following first

you're not killing anyone when you have an abortion the mystics throughout history have always believed generally speaking like 90 something percent of the time when a child comes to the mother it comes at the first breath that the being takes there is a biological something happening there's a there's a thing developing um you know and i don't want to call it an entity because then you think a person there's a biological thing developing all right but generally the soul is not in it the soul could even be hovering near the mother

and be aware of the body of the baby you can even rebirth some people and they remember being in the womb but they're actually not remembering them in the womb they're remembering their contact in here with the body and the woman they can describe it because they're asked to but uh there are many supports around this mystical groups edgar casey and so on and so on you know that would support there's nothing you're not killing anything and even if you were you're not intending to but so you you're not

unless you're being selfish you're not being selfish okay unless you're really overtly being stupid and selfish don't hold yourself as though you are so um you may not agree but um you're not killing anything or anybody i say you're not killing any body um the soul you know just doesn't enter the vessel until um first breath that's why in astrology you're you're um you're saying what time was the person born meaning born not conceived but born why because when you were born roughly

within seconds you take your first breath and when you do the solar and stellar energies and the zodiacal energies and so on they're they're they have a vibration all planets and stars there's a vibration those vibrations are coming to the earth and you're living on the earth so let's say i'm living right right on this part of the earth right over here and this baby is born right here the rays from all those planets and stars are hitting that specific spot hence where were you born and what time

were you born the zodiacal rays are hitting right there and in that moment of the first the the breath the chi entering and the air entering impregnates for lack of a better word imprints um the rays of this the stellar rays into your blood first it also is hitting through your first breath you're igniting your first lung point and the lung meridian of all your acupuncture meridians and then it starts surging through all your meridians so you've brought those rays imprinted that specific moment into your meridians your

energy systems also into your chakras but also into your blood because the blood's circulating in and around the lungs when you inhale it imprints the blood in the lungs now the blood will carry through the system they have arrived and then that's your zodiacal chart so keep that in mind that i'm not saying to be careless but i'm saying don't don't make up stories about how terrible you are for you know doing making such a decision um and also most women you know the ones that have gone on to have

children later i would say four out of five times maybe even more maybe it's nine out of ten but four out of five times um when you when you have had an abortion and that if there if there was a soul hanging around there's not always even one hanging around but you know closely but if there was one usually that soul understands what you're gonna do it understands that you do it it's not affected in any way unless you think hateful thoughts i don't want you i hate you then it's of course picking that up

okay wow don't like me huh and it might move on when you're done with an abortion but more often than not when you have an abortion your child is going to come back as one of your children anyway often as the first child but if not the second so if you had an abortion that child's coming back to you anyway so it's kind of like we're all good i mean it just it all works itself out i'm not trying to be blase about it you know because i know man it's intense um oh my god that's the

stories people have told me um some of the most gruesome and some of the most sad you know and it just vary so much but you know um we all make mistakes and it's okay to to i want to start over i need an abortion because i'm going to start over i need to file bankruptcy because i'm going to start over i need to have surgery done on something that i got sick because i did something to myself and i want that out so i can start over and sometimes we even end a lifetime when we pass away because we want to

start over you know a reboot so i'm not trying to treat it lightly i understand it's very deep i could go on for an hour just on this topic and we could go into all kinds of deep healing and so forth around it but i only wanted to address it on a simpler level because so many people get so charged i didn't want to go too too far with it as if this might not have already been too far but um you know so just you know keep these kinds of things in mind and know that spirit holds nothing against you it just sees you've done something it

seems like you hold yourself self-esteem against your self-esteem and sorry to hear that spirit saying and we'll set you up in a way to work on that tomorrow next year next lifetime or whatever and that's all it all works out it's a system of of of uh love so it's you know it's coming to help us to help us heal and uh there's no soul holding it against you there's no child on the other side going oh really abort me will you you know um there's nothing like that and there's no god holding it against

you it's just you know it's our other it's our own stuff um but our own guilts and shames can lead to various issues relationship issues esteem issues health issues it really yeah it really can i remember my kids i think they were probably um 10ish 10 12 maybe eight so you know right around there and i remember um i mean they're they're just bizarre anyway um you know they're just they were a little ahead of most people and their age in so many ways but um one time i we were driving and we drove by a picket that was

happening i didn't mean to but we turned a corner it was there and uh these were the you know anti-abortion people and um they were picketing all kinds of hate against the clinic that would do abortions or women don't have rights and women you know all this kind of stuff and and they couldn't just say you know please don't choose abortion they couldn't do that you know they have to have the gruesome pictures of abortions after the fact you know and and just gross gross stuff and they're

on the main street holding signs for people of all age to see such disgusting things now right there right then and there at best you're scaring people straight which isn't healthy anyway so i'm not sold on it just because you showed me something gruesome all you did was tempt me to not like you you know so um i think it's gross but but oh i turned the corner and instantly i went you know this really conscientious kind of a parent that i was like you know real aware of each thing i say and do you know and all that it wasn't perfect

but i was pretty conscious i turned the corner and i was like oh god you know and um they see all these pictures and i'm like oh my god you know poor things i'm trying to think any buddhist mantra anything that catholic prayer anything i could do to kind of quickly clear this you know and um they just broke out laughing and i'm like okay it does this are they disturbed or something like this was not the response i expect they're laughing because guys in one split second they're ten ish year old

minds they already saw it look at these ridiculous people putting these gruesome pictures out there to try to discuss people into following their way see and they saw right through it it was just so brilliant they saw right through it they're like that's ridiculous i mean they just thought it was lame ludicrous it was just it was so funny and i was like oh thank you god for the you know these kids being bright because i was already feeling terrible that you know any child would see something like that but you know that's what they

said and um you know so just you just try to build self-worth by your connection with god in all the ways i was saying and there's ways you we can disconnect prayer and meditation and affirmation and positive self-talk these help support they don't give you self-worth remember that they don't give it to you because you are it but they help you to see it anything that peels off the contrary layers of the contrary help expose our true selves and anything that you know brings in something new to uh for us to focus on like affirmative you

know affirmations decrees the truth of god because it is god anything i do that can you know enhances my connection with god um is going to help my self-worth because it comes from god so bring in god you get more self-worth and or more you see it more so um prayer meditation be kind to people because that helps build the real you it brings it out and builds the greater you spiritual muscles like and the things that take us away from recognizing our self-worth all these things the negative self-talk and the wounds of the past heal them so they

don't keep you down and take you down and they and they will i mean i know people who um who have had just oh my gosh such sore such horrible choices they make today because of this pattern this program that i don't deserve better you you don't know what i've done to myself you know i've known gals that just dated horrible people and it's because well in middle school i made a decision and i did this and once i did it i was marked so i was never going to be able to date a clean guy you know and and they just

went in that direction the rest of their lives and i'm like god just start over man be a born-again virgin you know start over just ask god to help you and say goodbye to all that and all you have to do is feel it inside even if you don't totally experience it outside which i think you will in some ways depending on how much time you give it but you know give yourself another chance i need to learn to live from my true worth not from my false esteem that's what it comes down to and um anything we can do to help other

people be in touch with that that greater value i think is great and um as a healer i've done that as a counselor have you done that look at that you know do you do you um if you're a hair stylist do you remember to tell people that they look good if they you know no i'm not saying you need to make things up or lie to people but find things are likable about people and let them know you know i've always admired such and such about you you know it's like really that doesn't give them self-worth but it gives them

an opportunity to remember their self-worth that's all it gives them an opportunity to remember it to go wow that that gets me to thinking you know had something happened the other day where i was talking to one of my kids and they said yeah dad you know you really went out of your way to to remind us of good things you know and keep things positive and um something really bad could happen in the family or peripheral side of the family or whatever out there in the world and we kids would be aware of it we'd be

like dad is everything okay and you'd be like you'd walk in the room and go okay who wants to go out for ice cream you know and we had a good laugh about it because i felt almost tearfully appreciative that that she remembers how hard i worked to try to keep things positive and yet you know it was a little bit like you know yeah there were some challenges here and there um kind of a bummer but you know and as you said you know yeah you tried to do that you know yeah everything's fine and you know and and i i don't think it's

necessarily great to i'm not saying hide things from people um but i do think it's appropriate to sometimes do that especially with kids um but to do so by focusing on the positive and let's do something positive i think it's important also deal with whatever seemingly is negative and not pretend it's not there but you don't have to overly flaunt that to your kids and if you've made mistakes that have affected your esteem slash then worth either of those i don't think it's a wrong thing for you

to show how you've made changes and you want to do something differently yeah positives get them focused on positives but also show changes you know you can say if they do something like a bad you know like a thing that they something they think they did something bad you can say um oh i remember i did that you know and i you know what i did instead of just you need to you can say and you know what i did because some people teased me i did this i did that you know and um they're getting it they're hearing like

oh you know so my daughter who has children says now i understand what you were doing and why you were doing i now i understand that you were being really kind of clever or brilliant about let's redirect this or let's do that or or even just how to teach the kids to to live a kind of a clean-minded life as much as possible um and again i'm not flaunting like pretending that she was saying i was perfect or anything like that just certain specific things that i was being complimented on and that's what i'm saying we can do for

each other um you see you see um sometimes i've seen children when i was working in schools more little kids schools when i was a young guy you know i would see a girl who maybe had a nice dress people complimenting and then it got torn or it got so like muddied um there's like a you could just see this cloud of shame drop over them i would be like shift it shift gears um one time one of the teachers brought a kid to me who had a broken arm i mean literally it was broken and you could see the parts um and the child was a little

scared as much as it was in pain and so i just shifted gears into you know whatever i said you know you'll do anything for attention won't you come on you you know playful and she would giggle a little i mean i'd have been screaming in pain man my arm's like two different spots and um and she didn't cry she she we shifted that so people have whether it's a fearful like a painful thing or a self-worth thing where somebody said something to me or i did something that i feel ashamed about oh i

did that before you know kid throws up at school you know in those days i'd say yeah i remember i did that once you blend in you connect you bridge with them so that we break the pattern of uh oh i did something and now i'm descending into shame you go wait sidetrack and you take them out of shame so that they don't descend as far it's a very tricky topic because you don't want to falsely distract people from true process but you do want to be helpful and not let them believe that they're less than god

created them to be so you have the right in a sense to intervene if done appropriately and you know with with only love if i do it because i'm a parent and i don't want my kid to have low self-esteem because i don't want to be a failed parent don't you cry i don't want anybody to see you crying that's egotistical that's different i'm talking about helping them if they need to cry oh honey it's okay crying see it make things okay but then what do you want the end result to be

self-worth connection to god and you and i are being given opportunities to be that bridge i for one don't want to be the person charging a heavy toll on that bridge that keeps people to be able to get across to god so i want to be a good bridge master you know a good bridge for people the one that that plays that role and says how can i help and oh my god the more people you help get over that bridge back to connect with god versus dropping into low self-esteem first of all it's good it's the right thing to do

it's good karma but it's aside from that it's the only right thing to do it's a loving thing to do so help where you can and how you can remember i teach these things not for you to just go oh that was interesting um if it doesn't feel true let it go just move on to some another teacher or whatever if it does feel true don't just say that's interesting soak it in and get it so that you can turn around and teach it too hey did you know there's a difference between self-worth and self-esteem don't preach

it but really get it there's a difference eyes open my spiritual eye and eyes are open i get things i don't mean me i mean any of us i get it be like that you know i get it man self-worth self-esteem they're different here's why here's the one i choose here's the one i don't care so much about really get these things in practice and practice them in your day-to-day life okay i pray this makes good sense to you and i pray that you're well and that you continue to grow and be committed on your

spiritual path okay peace be with all of you thanks for listening bye you