Relationships: Ego-Based Versus Spirit–Based

Today's perspective on relationships I want to address the difference because some people have been asking about ego-based relationships versus spirit-based relationships so let's go in that direction. First of all, our ego-based relationships, it's going to sound confusing for a second, but ego-based relationships can take the form of either people we like or don't like.

They can still be ego-based. Why? Because sometimes we like people that stroked our ego so the idea is not to get the versus hateful or hurtful or you know people we don't like versus people we like that's what humans do and it obviously isn't working so you're not out of ego when you say there's people I don't like which is ego and people I like which is non ego know the people you like and don't like are all ego based relationships period okay now if that sounds pessimistic that's because it is people don't want to hear this but

this is how it is relationships are generally ego based why because an ego met another ego the the relationship it's a person with with a body which you do not really have and a personality which you do not really have so you have an illusion times an illusion and so on meeting other people's illusions and trying to make it work out so when my my negative the dislikes of people and what what they rubbed the wrong way my life my personality and then I don't like him I take him from what I liked over to the group I don't like but nothing really

happened because they're both still illusions when you have a relationship with somebody that you think you like you actually have an illusion of them they like me and they'll always like me and they will not because they're not out of their ego yet so ego based relationships are doomed there's another called spirit based relationships but there's not just ego versus spirit there's in between the two those are the ones in between are the ones we need to be focusing on and look for it this time in our lives ultimate

spirit based relationships when all is one we'll get to that right now I just need to get my relationships because there's three levels of relationship they're really mundane human ones but it's not just the I don't like and then the next is the likes no the first level is the likes and the don't likes I need to get out of false liking false love see not just out of not liking people I need to get out of falsely liking people and falsely loving people that's the human level the third levels the divine level there's a second level that we're

supposed to reach where we're what I thought I liked about you loved about you gets beat to heck it just gets tested tempted burned and so on because if any of it's real it'll show up in the second level now I can wait around and see what shows up or I can contribute to creating a healthier relationship in other words I can create that second level and it helps if you can find other people committed to meeting you at that level listen I know we like each other and sometimes don't like each other or whatever it happens to be and by the way

people you like and even the ones you don't like try in your mind to imagine taking them all to level two they don't have to want to go because the part of them that doesn't want to go is not real so you don't have to have to have the permission of the part of them that doesn't really exist because you'd be getting an unreal contract so instead just know that even if people don't want to be your friend or love you unconditionally you can choose to do it with them you can even choose to evoke in them the ability to love you

unconditionally just see it in your mind in your daily prayers and meditations don't don't do the old-fashioned thing of God make them nicer make them like me make them because you're already then confirming that you already assume and judge that they're not but then you're telling God what to do that's not helping either instead this is what I'm dealing with today they don't like me and that hurts my feelings they don't do this I you know and whatever it happens go ahead and fess up whatever

year you know your ego would like to happen and then but I don't know my own best interests I don't really know what this person needs I didn't create them I only manufactured my judgments or opinions of them I'm just gonna give it all up you know what I'd really like us to see the real soul in them I want to have not a relationship personality two personality or body to body I think I'm ready to have a soul to soul relationship everybody's looking to single out a soulmate you will never advance or ascend beyond

the the negative parts of the third dimensional realm until you have holy relationships soulmate relationships with everyone because if there's any relationship that's not yet a soul buddy a soul mate total unconditional love for everyone if we're not at that place then you're gonna be here working it out with the ones you didn't get it yet it's the only reason we're here anyway everybody thinks they're here to like buy cars or houses or retire or look I got a gold watch that's it as soon as you die it's gone I mean so what's the

point we're only here to become holy like we really are and the thing is we're running into all the people that remind us of our lack of holiness and we think they're an inconvenience and they are they're a bummer it's a drag to meet non nice people but you know what's really a drag is that they're reflecting our stuff that's even more inconvenient I thought I already didn't like you enough now I really don't like you because you're making me look at things

in me it's not always literal yet people reflect in us but it sometimes is and sometimes it's symbolic just because you deal with somebody who bring you know looks impatient let's say doesn't mean you're literally impatient but they're certainly bringing up issues for you of some kind you don't even have to pinpoint exactly what those issues are our job is sin to noticed that it's happening surrender it to God and asked to have a new version come to us everybody wants to ascend

you know the Christians will call it rapture the New Agers will call it a sin but you're not going anywhere while still bound by stuff with other people so ascension is gonna come not by my being so gloriously spiritual above everybody else that I just get to go my ascension is gonna come proportionate to my ability to love people I mean it's proportionate I love some then you're only partly ascended like you know like your foot is you know but the rest of you is still stuck you know that's that's an awkward yoga position to stay in for the next thirty years so

the truth of the matter is we are all one not just these things bodies personalities were all really one and we're part of God's consciousness and something happened when we wondered what life could be like if we weren't with God and the eerie universe said and so it is but you know that's that's kind of the metaphysical example of how we seemingly separated but let's look at the the heart level when we children of God thought we could part ways with God it broke our hearts guys we became very sad I mean why wouldn't you if you lose

a parent as a child you become sad imagine how much exponentially more you would be just devastated that you lost God God is is far greater in our feeling than a parent could ever be it's our ultimate parent and all of a sudden one day we were like what happened the devastation man that the and and picture this we felt so destroyed by this concept of we just lost God we just lost heaven and we felt so devastated did you ever feel really so upset that that blood rushed to your head did you ever feel so enraged or sad that you thought you were going

to die from the pain of the upset yes or no okay good you did okay now imagine what it would be like to then lose God you know what happened to us we were one holy consciousness and we thought we could separate we were so upset we exploded into a countless number of sparks the fire exploded and we all split up that's what happened think about that for a second we were so upset that we exploded into the numbers beyond count but just for our you know sake of understanding trillions and trillions and trillions of little souls who

blasted off into a dark universe saying what happened dark and cold universe what happened now everybody that we meet because we were one all of a sudden who are you what are you where did you come from we're not one anymore so all of a sudden we go from devastation to exploding exploding into meeting each other and now the people we meet are going to be the ones work because remember we split apart we explode now we're filling empty we're missing something called God we're feeling empty so there's a longing in us to find something we can call it the

spiritual path because we're looking for God we can call it relationships because we're looking for love we're looking for things but we're looking for it all in all the wrong places and so this explosion the emptiness you know and then all of a sudden we meet each other and that here's the problem now what was the relationship the only one you can have is with God ultimately because we were one with God that now changed all of a sudden we went from having a relationship with God which is us and us with God it was all one it

exploded we seemed to leave now we have a second relationship or relationship with ourselves and then once that explosion took place and we started meeting each other we now having relationships with others but we assigned roles to each other because all I know is I feel empty so when I meet you you're either gonna be the cause of my emptiness people I don't like or the solution I like you what are you doing tonight what sign are you you know or whatever pickup lines are out there today you know nobody meets going hey you to the emptiness yeah me too

and we both know that nothing we can do is gonna fix that right so we're just kind of up creak okay so we're not going to get codependent because I can't depend on you Co so what are we gonna do you know you know what we can do let's both own the brokenness what form does your brokenness tale I tend to get into abandonment a lot really what how about you all I got addictions man and and we talked about the brokenness then we could say now that we know we have brokenness would you like to walk with me back into the light

knowing the brokenness and now the commitment back to the light instead of trying to pretend we don't have the brokenness you know I used to be broken but not with you that just means unlined a pause I mean it'll just be coming up any minute now you know I'm on menopause you know yeah so so you know it's just that's all you're doing you're just taking a break it's gonna come up so why don't we just let's just be honest I'm not saying meet each other and go home you too man Oh terrible I'm just saying such clarity

you know don't don't overly buy in because remember there's two people now you can meet two types the ones you're gonna blame for this stuff and the ones you're gonna credit for this as being the solution but they're not the solution the only solution is oneness again so all we can do is instead of pretending were one because you finished my sentences while we're so connected you finished my sentences that could be considered very while connected it's also codependent it's also kind of sick but it could be

nice I don't know you know it depends on each circumstance sometimes we're just two psychics but other times or two psychos and so what how are we going to do this what do you want what do you want to do start with honesty I can see that I'm turned on by certain things about you I might share that with you but in me I need to know that there are certain things I'm kind of turned on about you know whatever it happens to be you as a person as a body your personality you make me feel more attractive or whatever it is that's all

it's sounding quite addictive stimulant oriented you might be a sedative drug you might be a stimulant drug I don't want you to be a drug because I can't bring a drug and walk with a drug back to God I need to retire you from those roles so I need to learn to see you beyond what my eyes are telling me and if I don't make the choice to do that the universe the world life is going to kick my butt and make me do it because when we don't take our relationships from the first level of pseudo love pseudo hate to the second level where

I'm willing to see you in a new level the universe is going to take me there so we can go the easy way or the hard way the easy way is spirit based relationships it means more honesty more trust let's talk man let's connect you know and when you when you're you know you're not in the mood to go out to a movie I it's ok instead of I'm offended all those things are going to come up but see them deal with your rejections it's not so much the person that is causing them as much as they're rubbing

up against wounds that are already there and if you don't want them to do that don't relate to anybody go and live in a cave but you're still going to rub up against your own wounds you just to start cussing at yourself because it's gonna come up it's gonna happen you can't escape yourself and I always you know use this Yogananda quote people don't so much get in pain because of what people do to them as much as they go into pain and wince when people rub up against wounds that are already there that's all they're really

doing it doesn't seem like it could no cuz I'm holy and perfect you're the one who's inconveniencing me and make my day go badly but they're really not it's true that nobody nobody has any power over us we just pretend so that we can act disempowered we have a reason to be disempowered as the saying goes we're more afraid of our light than our darkness which seems insane we go oh no I'm not afraid of my light you know okay well okay I'm not gonna try to talk you into or convert you but it's true we are more afraid of our light than our

darkness and one of the problems is if I truly am light how do I feel about having lost that light I don't feel very good you see what happens I'm more afraid of my life than my dark because if I really ever have been a good person and today I'm not today I don't feel empowered today I don't feel prosperous today I don't feel healthy and I'm responsible that feels worse than blaming other people I'm gonna blame everybody else because all the people I meet everybody that all of us meet they're either people we're gonna

blame for not being in the light or people that we're gonna assume in credit that they're the ones who can get us there but they can't so they're gonna end up in the other group eventually of course in miracles' explains to us that no love ever stops no love actually I fell out of love then you never were in love I don't I can't imagine any person that I've ever known male or female of any color style whatever it happens to be religion any I can't imagine any of them coming to me wanting to befriend me and me saying no because of something

you've done if we're willing to move forward I'm good with it that's oh that's one of the ways you can test yourself as to whether you're with it or not I know some people seem unforgivable and I know some have really hurt you this too shall pass it's not a problem I totally hold in the light an affirmation that that pain will cease I'm not at all happy that they did it to you whatever they've done I'm not at all supportive of them doing it I do know very clearly

it was not the God in them that could do that therefore it was their go okay three go fine so be it it was their ego however what are we gonna do about it now you can stay in pain it's going to heal eventually why do you think you keep reincarnating your back to do what you didn't heal heal what you didn't yell so what this means is you get to decide when that's all so I I know you're gonna heal I know that they're gonna stop hurting people that's my vision and affirmation not hope I know it the only thing is we get to decide when so when

you have your healing and bring your relationships into healing and holiness is up to you you can do it today you can say I refuse you have the right you have the right and none of us should judge you were wrong you for that and if we do it's because something you're doing about stalling your healing is bringing up something for us now we have to go and heal something and if we don't we're going to come back and do that it's just it's all about healing everything in life is are there really tests and healing and so forth so when

you deal with life and you run into a like a memory of some you had a dream there's definitely one person I never want to have a dream about because it feels out of control I don't have a dream about them at least when I think about them I can say no and think of something else but if it shows up in my dream I was out of control it snuck in there and I couldn't stop it now I feel angry or ashamed or whatever it was me having a dream with you I don't want to have anything to do with you okay clearly that's somebody we have to heal

with it's happening for a reason so when people arbitrarily seemingly arbitrarily pop into our minds this is the mother this is the divine mother saying hi sweetheart how was school what she really means is hi sweetheart how was your lesson at school today it was fine what she really means is hi honey how'd you do with that person I popped into your head today you know and we like I ran from the classroom screaming I didn't want to take the test F so back you go or I got it it took me a minute so I got a b-minus but I got it

I got it I caught on that Wow wait why am i thinking to that person it it might be for the purpose of healing okay and you pass your test and all you do is acknowledge wow they're they're no accident or coincidence I recognize they've popped up I accept that this is for deeper healing I give this to God and I welcome in that healing I mean it can sixty Seconds would be enough to do those few words and just that way it switches it it switches it and all of a sudden you realize wow you're gonna probably notice

a shift called peace if you allow it if you want to stay angry you haven't really surrendered to the healing then that's okay when would you like that you know this infinite infinitely patient teacher you know I didn't have one of those in high school or middle school who said when would you like to take the test it's totally up to you you know the Holy Spirit says sweetheart do you know how much I love you I could wait twenty more lifetimes I mean just footnote according to the contract of life on earth that that will probably be

ten more times with this family six more relationships you know you're gonna marry the same person six according to your contract this will be several more times of going through this if you're good with that I'll be there for every one of those lifetimes laughing but I'll be there now I'll be there for every one of those lifetimes that's all it does it's there's no being that's gonna hate us or judge us for it it's just gonna keep recycling it until we get it so relationships then are

going to be called an opportunity to get it you can have it sooner than later I want to ascend then work on your relationships I want to know what real love is then work on your relation I want to stop being rejected work on your relationships stop thinking that the human version of what you want is actually what you really want because anything you want is going to come in the form of a relationship that needs healing no no but I don't want anything related to relations I want prosperity then you're gonna end up having to work

on anybody that ever scammed you anybody that ever ripped you up anybody who ever judged because they had money and you didn't whatever form and it's many that these refracted pieces blew out into space and that we met up later they're not at all random they're not an accident all they are people that we're needing - they're reflecting things we need to work on things we need to heal so our job is to switch over from the the first level of relationship to the deeper level of relationship I always say there's God self and others so when

we are committed to healing with others it's not going to be by fixing others now definitely it helps to - in our relationship with others to try to be good people but if you haven't yet gone inside with the relationship you won't know how you might think you know how but you do not because if you haven't gone within you don't have the proper source and resource to take you into a deeper relationship with others all you'll ever do is shuffle around the love and hate if you don't spiritual eyes your relationships they can never

become spiritual which means they're human and to err is human to live in constant err constant love hate up down rollercoaster rides that's that's the human condition but you don't have to so we shift to the second relationship with which is self how to do that when I'm with others and something happens I look at what it brings up in me it doesn't mean what you've done is right but I'm gonna go ahead and look at what it brought up in me then I'm gonna turn even further inside to connect with

God where I can say you did this to me it brings up such and such in me and I'm gonna take it in all the way to God and say help me to feel loved instead of hurt help me it doesn't mean like in love it just means help me to feel peace instead of conflict help me to feel healing instead of woundedness just whatever you want to use as a word the opposite because God's waiting there to not give it to us because it was already given it's who we really are but God is there to trigger it to awaken it in us

the divine mother particularly Holy Spirit of God so we get into God and boom it gets triggered in oh my god this is weird just 60 seconds ago I was sad or enraged I turned within I looked at the buttons in me which is responsible going even further I'm connecting with the presence of God and oh this is so beautiful how I don't even know how I got triggered I don't even know how I was so upset because right now I just feel such goodness such a love ah now you know we're gonna go next back out again you don't get to just ascend and

stay there which is what you're doing you're ascending your relationship and you don't go deep deep deep inside and go oh there's God and oneness thank God I can stay in this light away from all those jerks on the planet that's not how it works as soon as we get in because you cannot heal your relationships as a relationship as an external thing you have gotta go inside connect with spirit once you connect with spirit it's kind of an amazing thing because God's gonna say how'd you do well God don't you see I mean I feel I feel different I feel

great good job honey yeah isn't this great yes now I just have one more thing for you to do what's that prove it I'm gonna need you to turn around no no no no don't make it yeah come on it you could turn around and walk back into your relationship with yourself now you're gonna have healthier boundaries because you're connected with me and I made you love yourself more so you're not going to make such foolish mistakes with others so in you you've got greater clarity you've got greater sense of who you are then go one more step with others and

when you get to them how would you bring this feeling to that relationship we know that the relationship triggered bad feelings but you took them in - you took them in to God connect with God now take them back into you and back to them how will you be different if you aren't different this never happened properly it was an illusion version if you really got it you'll come back and you won't be in rage you won't be as triggered you'll be able to say you know look back to the love and and it doesn't mean you say I

do again you can say you know listen here's what happened for me I'm not going to say the word you at all in our conversation if I can avoid it but I mean sometimes the words there because it could be like did you call me earlier you know but it's it's um here's what happened for me when this thing happened not when you did this to me it's when this thing happened you know it brought up such-and-such a feeling sometimes they're going to be gracious and hear you and sometimes they're gonna interrupt you and shut you down and

you're gonna be like if you with me God you know I wanted this to go smoothly be with me God and God's going home sending the frequency of the heavens down all the way to the cellular you and it's trying to keep you together you know and hang in there how can I stay centered and you're allowed at this point to say you know when this happened it brought such and such up and I and I am looking at my part that's responsible however it's probably best that we whatever it happens to be maybe it's best you know we need to count to ten

before we have these conversations you know when this conversations start going weird we should have a queue with each other like you know oops and it means let's both take a breath or let's part ways if it's that severe see when you get connected to God and you come back into relationship it does not mean anything it does not mean you definitely part where you definitely stay you went inside to get connected so that when you come back you would make those decisions from a new place but what did you connect with when you went

inside give me a word love what else peace okay when you went inside and connected with God you can summarize it in a word like God peace joy or whatever when I come back into the world and I'm going to talk with you all I need to do is make sure that our conversations and our connections in our everything's are still going to bring up that word if I talk to you in any way that is non peaceful I slipped again I need to take a break and go again inside anytime my decisions with you it could be about addictions no done

why addictions are bad they're tempting me you know they're naughty no because they don't resonate with the Who I am Who I am is love God peace that's what I'm aspiring to be and remember when I come out here and you want me to be conflict I can't do that it's not me not I can't do it it's bad like you're judging an evil thing out there that's trying to get you you just learn to recognize this isn't me and I actually feel really good to know that that's not

me Wow and all you need to do lastly is wish the same free thing for them don't say I'm connecting with peace I don't know what your issue is you know what hey their issue is you you need to connect with peace you should absolutely affirm the same thing for them that doesn't mean they'll get it but if they don't if anything you shouldn't feel hateful about that try to fill it like sorry for them in a way compassion like almost like forgive them they know not what they do that's all you're asked to do just connect at a deeper level and and and

wish them well unfortunately in this world people they just the way they deal with relationships after traumatic things like this instead of going inside and turning it around they tend to just kind of give in to despair like there's just no hope I guess I'm not gonna find a good healthy relationship does that sound like a healthy place to be would you wish that upon anybody you like you know it's it's it's pretty try a tragic in my opinion and so what people will do instead I'm not going to give in I'm not going to feel despair in relationships

I'm gonna do something different I'm gonna try another relationship and another one and another one and they think that's the solution cashing them in or exchanging them getting the returns line you know and and try for another relationship and and and a lot of spiritual people I have to say they will actually think that their life is getting better as long as their relationships are getting a little more agreeable I think that's better than giving up into despair I do but it's not the end don't get by don't just get by I

should be happy that at least this one hair relationship is not as horrendous as the last one the last one was on a zero to ten was a minus to eight and this one's only a minus three I think you should give thanks that it's better I do credit the positives but do not pause there and think that's it I should just be grateful for this a little bit of an improvement no no not at all but you'll only you're potentially still just juggling and managing those relationships when they're just a little bit better

relationships need to heal and that's when you'll see the tremendous shift in your life does it happen just one day and it never happens again no challenges with that person or any other no and it's a maintenance program but when you have an idea of what that program looks like what to do with it how to connect with it to go in to do your work you know that's a simple exercise really so now it doesn't take that much take seconds really it takes just seconds minutes or even better to

kind of do a thorough process but seconds to just say oops I got it I'm slipping here I need some help I'm surrendering my will and replacing it with God's will God's will of what love for who me no for us and peace for us and happiness for us and if you can't say those words and imagine the other person feeling those feelings you're hurt and angry you're not bad you just hurt and you're angry and the healing will not come certainly not as dramatically as it could because technically I would like to heal but I'm

not going to because I'm not in the mood I'm still hurt and angry and there's no good person that should ever say to you you're wrong for feeling hurt and anger just I'm so sorry you know imagine just hugging that person a friend of yours that doesn't want to do it never will I okay you don't have to literally hug him but in here so sorry that's all but we have free will and you'll notice that when you do make that choice it's the weirdest thing kind of a peace and love and you imagine it for them I swear you start to feel different

it's almost impossible to not feel different when you imagine first of all yourself one with another person to feeling the effects of being one with another person that's what a miracle is defined as so all of a sudden we're connecting at a deeper level all of a sudden as the Course in Miracles puts it I have no interests a part of you meaning I can't see myself happy and not wish it for you you are me so everything that originally like is seemingly exploded into that you know hundreds of billions and even to

trillions and even more of souls they're all me that's all they're all just reflections of me I will meet the ones that are most apropos the ones that are most relevant to my lessons that's all that's all it's gonna happen really I'm just gonna meet those and there we go I'll acknowledge it I'll do what I can with it but even people you like surrender those as well don't forget that don't say I only have to surrender a couple that I don't like because everyone else I like be careful remember

you don't like anyone you it's sudo like and love it's fake it's going to end up in the fire and you're not going to be happy about it so don't just surrender people you don't like surrender also you know God here's an interesting one this person I'm thinking my kitty cat my puppy my partner you know you my child you'll think of someone you really do love don't stop there surrender them as well and let them be sanctified into a holy relationship you know god I don't know why I have to surrender this one because you know it's

Mike my dog it's a beautiful day I love my dog and it's never talked back and it's it's never been that annoying and for some reason when it messes I don't mind cleaning it up it's a funny thing you know that's really you know kind of a codependent relationship but you can say you know funny thing this person or whatever I like them I don't need to surrender them God saying please do anyway because you'll more likely prevent it from switching over to the groups you don't like when the love you know fades or gets challenged but also

you're saying even if I do love them even if I do if I surrender them to God the love is going to multiply I don't want to be the one I must not be the one to determine who's likable and who's not I need to shift into God's consciousness surrender to God's consciousness and say I am giving you every opinion of mine likeable and unlikable I'm giving them all up Republicans and Democrats I'm giving them all up and I want you to show me how you see them that's all we're supposed to be doing if

we select some to not surrender that's a portion of the children of God that do not come together just because you think you can make them come to cause you like them they're already included and the oneness they are not until they're surrendered so this is the tricky part you can think your spiritualizing your relationships just by working on them and it helps but instead you have to we actually have to call in the Spirit of God to take these relationships into unconditional love we can't actually

manufacture that or maneuver that on our own because our vision our minds are tainted by ego to some degree so just surrender all things are going to get tried by fire and I would rather it not you and I I mean we're getting along we do so I would rather us not have to be thrown into the fire why don't you and I hold hands commit to love let's walk in there together and it will not burn don't walk in and eventually you'll be dragged in and it will burn and you'll complain and you might not pass your tests and you'll come back and do it

again and again and again and again you'll be a Buddhist a few times you'll be a Christian a few times you'll be an atheist if you try pagan a few times you'll do all your different religions you know one religion to try to heal that relationship another religion you're gonna you know agnostic and you're gonna go through all through your male-female gay and straight you're gonna try everything to try to get yourself from not feeling the way you feel about that relationship and all it is is a choice because everyone has the

same challenges we split apart because of pain and we have to heal pain to come back together we have to go the same direction we came guys we blow apart from pain we have to walk through the pain to come together how do we go through that pain joining in relationship healing the stuff we bring up in each other I'm grateful that there are people in my life that are not challenging it doesn't matter give them to God give everybody to give your kids your dogs your cats give everything you like and everything you don't like give

it all to God I think I know but no I better not even bother I thought I knew the last one you know the last one that was my one and only ever and now I'm in another one and only ever so I might as well just live dangerously and assume I might not know so I'm just gonna surrender and as we're starting to wind up wind up Eve even your healers and counselors your friends family it's all the same even your healers and counselors are still relationships they're still people you have to surrender

don't don't hope that your healers will be perfect they're just healers they're still people who happened to be healers there are people that have to be your electricians people that happen to be your realtors people that happen to be your next-door neighbors they're just people in seeming roles those roles are not anywhere near important what's important is what they reflect to you that's all that's going to matter I'm grateful that you respect you reflect good things and still I'm gonna surrender our relationship to God you

know we have chaplains here at unity of Sedona we get along we connect still in our prayers occasionally it'll just come to me to surrender all of our relations as chaplains to God and ask for a higher level don't just surrender you're challenged ones because then you're implying that you know what's best that you know which ones are okay well if that were true none of the ones that turned bad would have turned back because you'd have been right I will say though do your best with your relationships because when you

go inside to God and you come back forward to meet people and greet people and be with people it still does help be honest in your relationships have trust in your relationships just you know clarity communication whatever you can do whatever you can try not to bring stuff into a relationship to beat it up you know be as clear and open as you can be and and as and even with that there's gonna still be triggers they're still gonna be weirdnesses that happen because we're on earth personally I do my best I like to do my best I like to you know if

if I'm committed in a relationship I'll say I'm committed if I'm not I'm not gonna say if I'm this I'm gonna say that if I'm not if I'm angry if I'm sad whatever be clear and be honest but try not to have any hidden places if possible now I'm not talking about there's appropriateness you know if I'm staying a certain person I may not announce it to the world if if I'm arguing with a partner and we have children I don't need to go tell the children what we're arguing about there's certain a pro

Brittney's of course but within reason to be transparent to be loving you know and and and honor your agreements and honor your commitment so that because what happens is you know each of us shot out from that space of God and we're scared and so what happens is when you meet somebody technically you walk up that aisle that's just a metaphor but you walk up that aisle and you're saying I will be here through sickness and health did you ever think about it before you said it because if you set it and you meant it

why do you not talk to them anymore now that you're split up I don't know of anybody I would turn down you know there's only a few people I've been you know really closely involved in and I'm still hoping to talk to them if they wanted to be and are best friends I'm they're best friends no problem I don't know what it is I mean I do but I mean that metaphorically I I I don't know you know it's a funny thing how people if I'm not in love with you I don't like

you anymore it's like a strange thing and it's like try to find it in you now you might it might not be appropriate to talk to them maybe there's distance maybe there's too much water in the bridge or hate then don't push buttons by trying to connect but if they do try to connect never turn anybody away when they come to you with sincere repentance jesus says which means an apology and amends yeah apology intimate sincere though he does make that point sincere apology and amends always forgive always past is

gone that doesn't mean you're naive or gullible it doesn't mean you get stomped on so you might say well how do I know if their sincerity behind their apology and amends because the word of men's means it stops whatever you did you will not do again if you do it again you weren't sincere therefore all distance I'm not going to hate you I can't would not do that but it might not be appropriate for me to be in the ring with you that you want to wrestle with them they're just not going to step

there take care of yourself love yourself bring yourself into relations and it gets to be a bummer on earth because you know you can say well I'm gonna step forward but I it would help if we have communication I'm this kind of person I have these kinds of issues is that okay yes or no if you ask me and I say yes I need to try to live up to that because what you've said is I'm scared here's the space I'm gonna open up to see if you'll accept me or reject me and if I accept you I should try to live up

to that instead of wounding you where I promised you something wounding you and then blaming you for it no no no when we all do that don't get me wrong we all get tempted to do that try to live up to it till death do us part I don't mean stay married till death do us part well I love and honor you yes the relationship I can see isn't working out but I'm still gonna keep the commitment to love and honor you that's when you know it's real if you have love that has ever ended it wasn't real and that's okay yes you're not bad to err is human

but now you heard this so you can say from here on first I'm going to work on bringing love back to relations that ended doesn't mean you call them just bring the love there and from here on I'm also going to bring love a more authentic love where I am in a relationship whomever that may be with and I'm going to take that relationship by going to connect with God come forward and I'm going to bring it forward and say if we're going to have relationship here's what I can do and not do we agree if we're intimate

pregnancies allowed or not allowed where are we we're going to bring the past information like a disclosure about our history we're going to do that or not we're going to be honest or not we're gonna do whatever you agree on try to stick to it and if you don't you messed up not them so just be true man be true your agreements your you know commitments it's an amazing thing I can be a teacher you can sit there and look like you're looking at me but we're all in this together we're all human beings and we split apart and we need to come

back together and we are able to create a safe space so that we can step back into the oneness you follow two things we have to co-create it and we have to surrender it to God so God can help us do it but I have to do my part if you and I are former addicts and we get together and we're clean and sober and we're gonna stick to and you start betraying that the reason I risked stepping into a relationship with you is because you told me you were committed to that if I can't do that for my own vulnerabilities

I might have to end the relationship and I am NOT bad for that this is just this is the agreement we had I would love for you to have kept that you know that kind of thing we play these roles but the truth is like I I'm a spiritual leader at unity of Sedona I have chosen I've had a few intimate relationships friendships in the nine years that I've been here is it's um obviously you know dating nine years ago but but I've had just a few but when I do and when I did it's it's chosen like I have to know that this is clear safe healthy and

sometimes it is sometimes it hasn't been and then oops and then recalibrate where are we going from here where am I going to go from here we all run into this take responsibility do your best on earth people will slip then you're going to be tempted to go never again famous mantra from hurt people you know that's it I will never fall in love again I will never be intimate again but do your best to talk about it say to the person you know we're in this relationship and I thought this and that

it's not happening or whatever it happens we and and part ways with love stay together with love or part ways with love but love has to be the common denominator so just closing with this last sentence or comment we will move from loving others plural that's one relationship to loving ourselves okay we will shift from loving others to loving self when I love self believe it or not one of the things that's going to happen is I no longer see others as others so I will shift from loving or relating to many to

relating to many as one the third level is going to be one loving one there won't be any plurals of any kind going in any direction it'll just be everything seems wow you know you you look inside you look inside your heart and so all of a sudden you realize I love as one I love only one I'm not loving many people I love only one but I love as one I'm one loving one and we're one in God that's the destiny for everybody it's inevitable you're going to be tempted to think okay but now if I love everyone am I now a celibate and

and am I now she lifts live alone and so forth all of us in tiny houses you know but but no guys when you when you love everyone you still cuz you're on earth you still can choose you know it's amazing I love everyone and yet I can choose a partnership with this one I love everyone you know it's like I have let's say in my case I have three daughters you know the older daughters but three daughters but when they were little I loved them all right but I could say one here sit on my lap let's talk do I love them more and of course

not that's human trips it is possible we've all done it even without realizing it to love all and yet individually feel this or share that with that person and not another it's okay a commitment of some kind that's okay but we just know the truth and play the game play the you know play with it I know we're all one but I'm gonna live with you I don't want them all moving in you know like when would I sleep eight billion people like you know we're all one and I wish I weren't separation again you know please take a few

centering breaths relaxing the body relaxing the mind turning out all the stuff of the world making sure we are only using enough muscles to sit up or whatever position we happen to be in but the muscles otherwise are relaxed the back also our mental muscles defensiveness fear we've all had hurts we've all felt wounded or betrayed whether it really happened or didn't we're still

committing I want to love you everyone at a new level human desires are often tainted with ego the only righteous human desire really is the desire to reconnect with each other the desire for love to give love share love with each breath we relax more and more into a quiet quiet place take a moment and we're gonna ask that the Holy Spirit our divine mother help us and guide us in this meditation we're asking spirit to help bring to mind whatever's most important for our healing bring to mind the mental image

the face or image of a person that we are most challenged with or that we most love or like whichever needs to come up let's spirit bring up an image for us and if you are pretty good holding attention of two things you can bring one of each let them come to mind and then very simply what negative or positive emotion feelings do they bring up come up with three or four if possible happiness excitement empowerment or it could be the opposite loneliness rejection fear and then just briefly look back into your life and see if there's been ever

anybody else that brought up similar emotions or feelings anyone you've ever known related distant person an acquaintance partner anyone in your life ever who brought up similar emotions not exact emotions but just that theme rejection not.

you know don't get into details but the feelings of rejection and abandonment and so forth those general feelings anybody ever bring that up before parent a friend school friend you likely will see and it may not even be a person but circumstances in your past that brought up those kinds of emotions the loss of a loved one person or events good all we're trying to connect with is the fact that whatever you feel towards somebody that you brought up first when we started you can see that you had other feelings of positive or negative in the past and what that means is

whoever the person is that's more currently brought up stuff for you is also connected to the past other events not yet healed or if they're positives it's still connecting to positives from the past what this means is your soul right now can say I see that whomever I was thinking of is connected to people and events from the past own that and what this means also is that that means that the more current person I never related to them only on the present moment I was connected to this person and this person's related to the past

which means this person is part of my past I'm never relating to them currently in the present moment I am not seeing them as God sees them in the current pure moment my relationship with you therefore whoever the person is has been tainted by the past that means I never truly related to you at all because we were living memories I apologize for that I was triggered for good or ill I was still triggered by the past never giving you and I a chance to experience the now holiness of God I apologize for my part in that I'm choosing to surrender this

relationship to you father mother god I thought I knew what was up and down and left and right I do not know anything this is all related to the past the past is not happening I give this all to you if it's not happening if it's not present it's false how was it ever going to turn into either a negative into positive or even people I thought I liked into the holiest they could be I'm now surrendering all of it and I asked to have and feel and experience a holy relationship with this person and if you're triggered by them and say I

can't because I'm triggered you're still triggered by the past it's nothing that is now it's nothing that's truly you it's a memory of you having a memory of an experience and you should be happy to refuse to do that we give this to you God and we call upon your presence in the form of ah peace and happiness that's what I'd like to feel instead I want to feel peace and happiness instead of anxiety rejection peace and happiness starting with the person from the past then to the person of the present all of them and me

included all of us ah at peace this is what we were looking for and to be at peace take just a half a minute to breathe in peace and happiness with each in-breath and on the out-breath and so it is quietly in your mind let's do that about half a dozen times hmm then shift into visualizing everybody experiencing that better life everyone experiencing happiness those other people and yourself all of us oh my god you know we don't have to marry them again we don't have to do whatever we're just celebrating that we're all happier than we were we're feeling the

presence of God we're experiencing the beginnings of a miracle that will can you continue to grow and bring good things into our lives if in any way shape or form I would not wish such for such people that means there's still some hurt it's okay don't judge yourself just say I will get to that at some point do a visualization on that for half a minute and then will quietly stretch out and open our eyes when we're ready but give it a half a minute