Regrets

today's presentation is going to be on regret or some variations of that topic but regret it's very it's a very important topic because regret is one of the greatest saboteurs of us having a better life it's kind of interesting because you you have certain things go on in your life and then you think okay well i'm past that let me move on to something better but there's something you can call it old patterns programs cellular memory all these things those things are fed by regret believe it or not yes they're all

important topics cellular memory all these things you know they're very important topics self-sabotage all of them but they would be empty vessels they would be empty powerless against you if they didn't have a place in our hearts to where they could land there's something in us they come flying by and they stick because of this thing we'll call velcro and regret is emotional velcro and so things come in and they they just cling they just stick to it so that's where we are our own worst enemy our unhealed wounds our unhealed regrets

okay so regret is an interesting thing because um it you know it's normal to air is human and to forgive divine to have regret is human and to be free the opposite of regret because regret again is like it's a sticky substance and so when we come moving through our soul moving through our consciousness new ideas come inspirations they get stuck yes they get stuck in low self-worth they get stuck in old wounds granted all that's true but those things low self-worth and such are really only able to find substance

when it finds an owner a host we'll call it you know there's these demons of re regret you know or these demons of uh self-sabotage and when they come flying through they they find a host but they wouldn't if we didn't feel regret on some level and i know some of you are going to be like oh i'm way beyond that i don't feel any regrets you know and it also there's people who say you know i don't regret anything i've done there's like an arrogance some of us wallow in it yes but some of us do

the opposite like i have no regrets and it's really it's just a an arrogance to be human means you're going to likely have the temptation to fill regrets and so on and that's one of the beautiful things here is that the more we identify with the divine or christ self the less we're going to be able to maintain any garden in our mind any garden that that reaps a harvest of you know regret and then all the stuff regret produces weeds of various kinds so we have the right we have the ability to

really break free but it means healing regret you can't heal regret if you're going to be so stubborn to say i have none so there's the arrogant types that say i have no regrets i'm perfectly happy with what i've done sure sure i did all kinds of drugs and they've you know ruined my energy field and and now allow entities to leak through my force field and and bother me throughout my days and nights but i'm okay with it i have no regrets you know sure i was abused as a child but um i guess i

learned from that you know those are all justifications really to heal regret you have to first acknowledge that it's there and then navigate through it a bit you know work it a bit like a garden and so you know there are people that get really stubborn about it i have no regrets and if that's you or if it's somebody you know don't judge yourself or them for that just know that you have to be hurting pretty badly to just quickly flippantly say i have no regrets you know i really admired and admire

the singer freddie mercury of the band queen thought he was amazing yeah you know widest range voice in any male we know of in history and so on as i'm you know great songwriter and so on um but but he dies in some of his last words where i have no regrets he's dying and he himself said i'm dying because of my you know whatever terminology loose behavior and so on that he was describing it wasn't about being gay or straight it's about him being unsafe in his practices personal and recreational

so you know he knows that that was causing a cause behind his becoming ill and he acknowledged that said that of course openly but says that he didn't say that all till the very end but then to say i have no regrets now we can say that in a healthy way it's just rare most people don't know how to say that in a healthy way which i'll describe that in a moment but you know i have no regrets he says and yet um you know there's a lot of hurt to his family there's potential dangers he brought to

other people when he was being careless and so on and so on i won't go into long lists of why he or we could should be aware of regret but it's just that we don't need to try to brush it off so quickly if you're going to say i have no regrets what it means what it should mean is that you've taken time first to acknowledge the possibility of regret secondly you will have navigated that possibility into some personal work such as which things do i feel regret for and which things do i not and then it gets really tricky because

you're likely a healthier nicer more mature person if you feel some amount of regret then if you say i have none people think i'm not very advanced or evolved if i have regrets so i'm going to say that i have none then i look more mature evolved or whatever and no you're actually better off saying i do have some regrets that's more mature first of all because it's honest that alone is quantum leaps past somebody who says they have none you're acknowledging you're being honest secondly

you have to have navigated those regrets so like which ones did you have why did you have them if you say i don't know i don't want to think about it i'm just sure i have some somewhere again flippant and too quick to answer so it's really important to navigate regrets but not let them own you the bible has one phrase mentioned about the concept of regret and it simply says it is the will of god i'm paraphrasing but it is not god's will that you feel regret it is not god's will that you feel

regret then you go okay great then i'm done i don't have to have any regret it's not what it says entirely god does not will that you have regret however god wants you to learn all you need to do is learn from whatever the experience was that you did feel regret it's not don't feel regret it's fine feel it and then do some tracking to see what did you learn from it if you've learned something from it that which was hurtful um painful or whatever else you want to call it all of a sudden it has a value

and i'm not saying the hurt done to you or the hurt you did is valuable i'm saying what we learned from it is valuable all right so it's quite beautiful at the end of the day when you really deal with regret properly but we should each take a moment you know and just sit in with that for a second let it set in and just kind of okay so if i have regrets what might they be now when you say i don't know if i have them or i don't think i have them how to know well all you have to do is sit and ask yourself honestly because

honesty is a key piece is there anything that i've experienced is there anything i've done or had done to me that a i would rather not do again if i could do it again would i do it again or not b because sometimes even that's confusing b what about would i wish this upon anybody else still not sure you could go to c would i wish this upon let's say i had a child 14 year old 12 year old 5 year old 80 year old whatever you know any age but really a child age would be a good um example to you something between

whatever's relevant it's hard to say because some uh situations wouldn't be relevant to a two-year-old that would be to a 20 year old but you know i would say 18 or younger would be a good way to go with this and think any age you pick you know but even you know even if you use the metaphor of another person you cared about and they were 80 or 28 or 38 it's still okay but the child metaphor is really helpful because we think of children as somewhat fragile and so if you use that metaphor it's really

helpful because you know then you say to yourself if i were if that child were fragile would i wish this upon them so even if you could say you know let's say an example of of freddy him saying freddie mercury going to his grave saying i don't feel any regrets well let's ask for sure freddie let's check on that would you wish this disease that caused you quite a bit of pain and suffering would you wish that upon anybody oh he'd say of course not um would you wish the the you know what you called in your most

extreme time the careless behavior would you say that you would advise that if you were a counselor all of a sudden you you gave up the microphone and stage and you became a counselor would you recommend that to a 14 year old i don't think he would and that means we can sit and breathe and say wow yeah there's i guess under that criteria yeah that would be maybe regretful so i guess i wouldn't want to wish that upon somebody so therefore i might not want that for myself either and that's beautiful i mean it sounds

like oh bummer you know why do you want to create regrets i'm not asking you to i'm saying you already have them you know my gosh you know we've sometimes married people and it went horribly wrong you know um and you can say but you know it is what it is or i'm glad i got my children out of it again that's you see how quick the head comes in and justifies um yeah okay but who's to say you couldn't have had your children through immaculate conception or through a different partner i mean it could have

a healthier partner wouldn't that be okay one that didn't abuse your kids for example or one that didn't leave you guys high and dry you know you know it's it's really hard to get people to break out of trying to justify everything and yet i'm not asking you to wallow in regret i personally and i've shared it openly at least couple times over the years you know i would say yeah i would have wished keeping my children more safe than they were with certain people in their lives i would have loved to have kept them

safer now um could i say um but it's all okay no i won't say that could i say um well they needed to learn their lessons i'm not going to say that either because you got to watch there are human beings that say but i guess i needed this to learn guys you never need to experience anything hurtful or insane to learn anything that's the way you might have learned so therefore you gain something from it therefore you can say i there's a value that i learned from it that's fine but don't affirm that you

needed that you had to have gone through horrible experiences so that you could learn something we didn't have to you know exterminate millions of jews in nazi germany the second world war to say well gee now we should probably learn to be more sensitive human beings you know no we did not need to have it we could have just been nicer we could have just been more sensitive to the needs of other people or been more open to the cries of people saying there's a problem and you guys aren't aware enough

about it because it's in another country we could have just learned that i mean that's we have the right to learn the easy way which is the natural way it's not natural actually to go through pain it's not it may look like it but you could say it's uh yeah pain is natural because disease is sometimes a natural process no it isn't pain is and disease is not organic at all it just seems like it organic would be one with god therefore completely whole and incapable of being sick or in pain in any form but

that's not what we're seeing or experiencing what we do is we ignore or forget our inheritance in god consciousness which would give us then perfect health we ignore or forget that then we start manufacturing disease as a result you could say it's organic because it's a biological or anatomical experience but that doesn't justify it because it's actually being fabricated therefore you know prefabbed therefore not organic by the body that's no longer living organically if you even had a body at all which is

really just a hologram you know in this three-dimensional world but that's another story but if you have a body at all that body is capable of reflecting light and being a light body and it would be incapable of being sick that would be more organic than what we ended up with so that's just an aside back to the concept of regret and so forth you know again you can ask yourself if if you're not sure and let's just say you're not we all can use some introspection some self-inventory to be able to say

okay let me look at my life are there any things that i would not have wished upon another that i've done or others have done to me so i have regrets of some things that have done been done to me and then whatever those are don't fret it you could have you you oh my god you might say oh my god i can't even write all these about my i went through five pencils and i'm still not done that's okay don't feel bad about it get them out it's better to get them out because when you let go of things by speaking it

writing it processing it it is more greatly gone then than if you try to just ignore it or dismiss it it's working it's processing it okay so you could say are there any things you know um and you kind of scan through your life um you can if you try to do just your whole life at once it's a little harder for accuracy and for capturing as many things as if you divide and conquer divide and conquer means instead of just let me look my whole life 60 years no i don't think of anything because you're trying to overwhelm your

brain there and then it can't think of anything try instead do i know of any regrets let's start with grade school any regrets of things done to me things that i regret experiencing and then you you know try to remember those things um do you remember then middle school high school young adulthood let's say in your 20s your 30s you know it's a way to break it down then you could break it down by topics instead of ages like in my marriage in my parenting um or with siblings types of people groups of people

with my family members you know those those sorts of things um you know um like i can remember um you know making a couple of regrettable decisions and and and i can say i know one that i made with um a family member because we you know we i was trying to help this person um with some financial decisions they had to make i was trying to help them because they were sort of stuck financially there was some bad situations for them so i sort of helped them out now i did help them and that was great but somewhere in there towards the end of it

all when we weren't doing well we weren't getting along this i was probably 20 or so years old but because of that i used it and justified making a selfish decision you know and it was one i made up for thank god because you know that's a good thing then the regret turns into clear clear something you cleared but um but if i could do it again i could tell you oh but it worked out but i helped them that's the head justifying things and i know that on some level i did help and you guys know you did some things

that were decent here and there but all i need to do is ask myself would i do it again and no i would not do what i did wasn't anything horrendous but still in my mind i know i wouldn't do that again therefore it's a regret now what should i do with it you know be honest with it if there's something i need to do to make amends which i did you know that was fine and cleared way back then then is there a reason why the regret might still have any hold i could sit and track that meaning look inside and

see if it connects to any other similar feelings or experiences and then release it you know do a process whether that involves tears or a burning bowl ceremony or whatever it happens to be um and that one you know that just it could just pop up in your mind all you have to do is say is there something i wouldn't do or have done to me are there things that have been done to me that i regretted experiencing you can't say i regret they did it but i regret because that's their decision but i regret experiencing it i

feel bummed that i ended up going through this or that and um you know things will come to mind and you can make a nice little list of them why not man it's halloween time you know recently so make it part of the you know day of the dead let it all go you could make a part of thanksgiving what did i learn from this and let the stuff go and be free so you can re receive new gifts new christ mass christ gifts gifts of christ consciousness and go into a new year with a whole new lease on life i mean it's worth it but you

can't carry a bag of regret and expect to receive a bag of gifts from christ or spirit and at the same time are there things you've done you know you might have been one party involved in a group but still you know things that you've done there are people we've married there are ways that we raised our kids there are you know people we've slept with there are people we've married as i said um business partners oh god i wish i hadn't done okay fine you wish you hadn't done business with this person but

now that you did what did you learn from it you could say never trust people that wouldn't be an authentic lesson that's a reaction you could say uh men can't be trusted women can't be trusted you you can't come up with a an adamant blatant blatant-like statement like that an absolute um and expect it to be called healthy or something you learned because it's a reaction still i understand it you know to feel that reaction or to make those adamant statements uh um never date again because one date went

badly five dates went badly that's why i quit dating forever ever ever you know those absolute statements are reactions so instead what did you learn try a little deeper more patiently and if you were talking to your child and if you had a 16 year old about dating if that's where the context and they dated somebody and it didn't go well and they were mean to your daughter and you know would you say you know my advice is never date again i hope you wouldn't say that therefore why are you hearing it in

your own head and saying it to yourself that's how you know if your advice is flippant and two black and white thinking wounded oriented instead okay what would i what would i tell somebody i love because we need to treat ourselves with as much love as we would a loved one all right so what would i tell them you know they they went to a party and at the party they got drunk and somebody took advantage of them or they got in an accident and now it's on the record and they have a permanent problem with the

driving record and they lost their license and now they had their first job they're going to lose their first job let's say that all happened to you of course that's all horrible stuff and there's going to be some regrets involved but how would you handle that with your own child likely you know yeah i'm sorry that that happened that's okay to say that to yourself too um it probably wasn't a great decision that's probably true so it's good you know to say that to yourself and what

else what can i what else can i learn from that well i kind of did this because i was trying to impress some friends so it's not just driving that's a problem it's when i try to impress others and why would you do that well because i wanted to fit in and why do you need to fit in because i feel inadequate ah now we're getting somewhere so this whole experience was based on you're feeling inadequate everything else after that's a symptom of you trying to fix it but you felt inadequate now you're

getting somewhere so i guess i would learn that i need to work on my inadequacies instead of trying to patch them through other people trying to get more like a self-worth rather than a worth or value based on other people's opinions you see things we regretted you know i wish i would have talked more in that relationship great what can you learn from that you know i regret not talking because that hurt broke the heart of my partner and then you know they ended up leaving upset because i wouldn't meet them halfway in the relationship

that would be something to say yeah i regret that because i know it hurt them then say that make amends apologize and make amends if you can with the person if that's something you can do but also if it's something that wouldn't cause more problems you know when your partners have moved on and they're happily in other relationships it might do more harm than good for you to call them with christmas cheer hey it's me you know i know i hurt you but i really still you know loved you and wish i wouldn't have done that and make them

go oh gosh we should have stayed together and confused them with their current relationship you know so be careful when you do your apologizing and amends it's really supposed to be only done when it will not cause harm to anyone else including yourself but definitely with anybody else so this concept again and again you know regret what to do practice looking at it practice tracking it it does us no good to beat ourselves up with it so some of us are going to be overly hardened i have no regrets others oh my god i

regret everything woe is me you know and that's actually that too is not god's will and it's also a very egotistic thing but if if i had instead of being right in the middle centered centered centered instead of overly regretting underly regretting centered if i had to lean any direction towards regret towards no regret i'm saying a little regret is better than none only only if you're not beating yourself up and you surrender the regret to god but only because it means you have a conscience and that's a good thing

to say oh i probably shouldn't have done that if you had like let's say some brain injury when you were little and it made you incapable of having any conscience you would likely have a personality disorder first of all but you wouldn't take good care of yourself because you wouldn't have any barometer no no meter inside to know wait this this isn't probably right for me and that's not likely going to be a great thing so it's okay to have a little just enough to say that i have a conscience

that's all i'm really saying don't think i'm telling you you have to have regret i'm saying only to have the ability to have regret and then release it is better than to have no ability to feel a conscience or regret it just means you're you're self-aware and that's a good thing but then it shouldn't go more than one ounce in that direction enough to give you something to check out inside that's all it shouldn't go any further into you know self-abuse in some way all right

i pray that much has made sense so far now when it comes to healing regret again you can track it and so on um know that it's not god's will and that's very helpful to each of us because what you can do is practice affirmations you can practice of course prayers to release hurts and injuries to yourself or others regrets but remember you could use prayers along these lines that this was not god's will that's the truth if i harmed you in some way this was not god's will therefore it was not my real self doing that it was my

ego and i'm sorry and if you hurt me in some way it was not god within you that hurt me it was your ego and i'm sorry that that happened i'm sorry sorry that you made the choice to let your ego control you and i'm sorry that you know my ego somehow attracted you thank god i get it now and that's not what i would do anymore now you have to watch because you'll know if you're if your uh prayers or thoughts about healing regret are sincere when you stop doing whatever it was i've known so many people

um first-time students or clients coming and saying why do i keep doing this i don't know and then we talk about it and they say well i really got it but i still go back to it or they'll have a session with me and go wow epiphanies i now get it i'm never going to do that again and a year later they call and yeah i did it again so it doesn't sound like it was as sincere as you might have or we might have hoped it was if you return to the behavior that again is not going to be shaming you on that it's just you need to check

in and say to yourself wow the fact that i went back to that is that what i would recommend to a loved one no then it probably wasn't the right thing then all of a sudden you realize this is this these actions of mine that i end up regretting and sometimes sicularly meaning around and around you realize this is called self-loathing not low self-worth it's self-loathing there's a part of us that believes we separated from god fell from heaven fell from grace and became naughty and ashamed and we actually

attempt to beat ourselves up over it and you know that's saying stop beating yourself up well it applies more here than anywhere else in life that we think that we are flawed for having left god even someone that doesn't believe in god still committed the same act that we did all of us everyone left heaven home god love and therefore we feel we really man there must be something wrong with us what the heck were we thinking um we're just terrible people and so on now the good news is god would say well

it didn't really happen you guys are just making this whole dream up and you can just wake up from the dream that's why buddha uses the term i am awake and that's why we use the word it's all a dream good old willy wonka life is you know uh we are the dreamers of the dream edgar allan poe life is but a dream within a dream it is it's all a dream or the indigenous peoples of places like australia um they they say this is the we're dreaming the world into being it's true it's all a dream

on one level it's all a dream but where we are it's not a dream it doesn't seem to be a dream here it seems real so we have some real issues to deal with and we can dismantle them one at a time it's a day at a time we're going to possibly keep recommitting to making mistakes keep learning a day at a time and doing a shorter circle in correcting it at one time wow it took me years to get what i did you know wrong quote unquote years to get it and catch on and try to fix it years now quicker loops now as soon as i do

something like that boom i'm right back if a person's got an addiction like alcoholism and they decide at 30 to to clean it up great then they let's say fall off the wagon a little and they they go out partying for a couple of weeks let's hope that at the very most they learn instead of 30 years they take it just a few months and then they bounce back then when they bounce back if they slip again let's hope it takes just weeks then days then hours then minutes then seconds then got it whatever amount of time but for me

personally if i see myself learning and it takes longer than it used to something's totally wrong with that picture so um look at when you want to think about regret ask yourself have you done any better if you haven't then again i'm going to say well then let's allow that regret just so you can kick your own butt a little bit and bounce back and say never again that's okay if it's gonna teach you to say okay i need to you know be stronger here and step up and and not give in so easily to another

player you know or another desperate hookup or another addiction of some other kind or whatever it may be another failed in financial investment we don't have to keep doing these things so instead take a breath and okay i got it um assess your life look for regrets use those metaphors i said to use about you know would you wish it upon others and then gather your your list of possible regrets and the list might feel daunting and kind of like oh man this is heavy uh don't stay in the heaviness use it more

like every one of them that i come up with is going to become you know food for my process of saying goodbye so more of it is fine because it's going to be even more i mean there's more you know like uh gardening oh man i'm gardening there's these roots and these rocks and so on it's a bummer but when you're digging in a part of your yard that was pretty messed up and it's all this work rocks and you know so on and roots of other trees and and you get all that out of there the chances are

proportioned to how much gardening you did same proportion to that will be what you're going to get back in terms of a nice garden whether it's beautiful flowers that fairies like the ones on the shelf behind me can play in or you know whatever the case may be but it makes it quite worth it when you see i'm not looking at regrets to beat myself up i'm looking for them as roots and weeds and rocks and whatever else that needs to come out of my garden and that's i think pretty cool that's something to think about okay

and um keep walking through all the things i've already shared there about the how to's and all the way to you know taking inventory and saying wow what about things that come back again and again uh oh another category to look at things that i regret but i regretted them 20 years ago too and they're still happening that's not sincere regret it's you know there's authentic and there's inauthentic forms of regret and processing or healing a person can say you know it's easy on a on a

when you're what do they call it a hungover you know and over a toilet bowl vomiting your guts out saying i'll never drink again there's there's no soul on the other side that ever takes that seriously you know they're on the other side like yeah right you know because they know the call will come around friday you know hey man what are you doing tonight let's party and then you're off and running again and and that that doing that again means you're taking regret and you're taking more regret

more regret and you're compounding it and stuffing it down pretending you're not feeling it yet feeling it when you're over the toilet but then covering it up again mashing it down i'm not feeling regret it will explode and become a major issue obviously so regrets do not die if you try to bury them or sweep them under the rug they don't die you know negative emotions you know they don't die with that they either get worked out through healing or they get lived out and acted out in your life and

your feelings worked out through healing lived out through living and feeling so watch that so as i'm starting to close here that one last piece again the things that recur watch for that because that's where you're really most abusing yourself allowing these things and you have justifications yes i keep dating the wrong people but i'm lonely great why don't you track that look inside and see why loneliness is somehow worse than bad dates you know unhealthy dates i mean that just seems kind of strange

um you know even an animal will allow itself to starve if all you're going to feed it is poison it there's an intelligence even in most animals to override something that's going to harm it and it would rather starve in in most cases that's you know the way it is and and yet humans lack that simplicity of intelligence you know try fasting from relationships so that you don't get yourself into the same mess but again people come to me it could be i've had students that were students for years and said got it wow awakened and

then ended up in the same boat again and i don't like feel like shaming them for it or anything like that it's more like what i'm saying is that anybody can slip you can have studied for your first 20 minutes in self-help work or you could have 20 years in it and it's easy to slip because the eagle will try to find where there's an open door where there's a a crack in the door so to speak for something you know to that that addiction or that stuff to come in again and reroute itself i won't say don't let that happen what

i'll say is if and when it does bounce back as quickly as you can you're going to be tempted to feel regret just accept that don't like i shouldn't feel regret don't pretend it's not there it's not gonna help acknowledge it then okay what's this about look deeper inside and then surrender it to god hey god you know i was looking at this and i felt this regret and it's not your will that i carry it but i just realized i've been carrying this and you know along with this there's also

memories of other times when i felt this and that and the other so i'd like to give all this up to you not because i'm trying to evade responsibility i get my part in fact i'll tomorrow i'll make amends if that's something i need to do but i'm i'm going to own that this i felt this and so on and so on and i'm going to give it to you now i'm giving it to you because it's not your will that i feel it and i only choose to feel what you'd have me feel but i'm not doing so negligently

i'm saying i also am willing to learn learn what because god if you could imagine listening to you it then responds and says okay honey what did you learn well i learned that not to let neediness control my decisions not to let my usual old abandonment issues control my decision making you see that none of those examples i'm giving and what i learned had anything to do really with others in terms of never trust others it's more like me and what i learned and what i can do differently you know and so on and so on

when it comes to others if somebody comes to you and says i'm really sorry about something always always welcome their apology that doesn't mean if they were a husband move in with them again that doesn't mean if they were a high school girlfriend you know go look her up and and connect with her again it doesn't mean anything has to happen externally hear it just in the heart a letter whatever it happens to be hey you know sorry about that or whatever it happens to be and some of them are fairly complex some

of dealing with regrets you know so lastly here um don't be shocked or dismayed too much if some of them seem a little complicated like well i was with somebody and we were totally not right for each other i partnered with this person you know um we had kids and i love my kids but now i'm confused because the relationship i used them i was with them for the children i was you i used them for they were good-looking or i used them for status or whatever that's going to make you or tempt you to feel regret and then confused because i

feel regret but yet i'm not going to let myself feel regret because i got kids from it and now you're you're nowhere you're not working to the right to the left you're stuck in this confused mess and my advice there is divide and conquer in my example one of my examples that i can share and again i've shared before regrets for years i taught sexual healing and sacred sexuality god i just think it's such a beautiful thing i really do i think and believe and feel that true intimacy sharing is absolutely

just stellar it's such an incredible glowing experience i mean you know forgive me for just expounding so much but i really believe that when love true love is shared i don't mean you have to be madly in love when when you're in a state of mind that you can truly be sharing a loving experience whether it's a smile like i feel love for you guys that that like watching these sorts of broadcasts i really really love it and i thank you for it and some of you feel the same way wow thank you michael so

that's that's a very loving and in a sense an intimate experience but love is wonderful and so when love is shared on an affectionate level intimate level physical level all it takes is the absolute be nowhere else absolutely love what you're doing and and who you're sharing that time with you know i think that's fantastic i mean it can just be so absolutely beautiful and you know i've had people say to me you know hey michael people in the industry of making movies you know on sexuality some of the very extreme

porns and very more um tame like on intimacy and my tendency was always to say yes because i feel so much like yes there's got to be a way we can show people what it can be like you know filming what it looks like to share love and so people can learn from that so you can hear maybe my exuberance or excitement because i truly believe that however having also worked with things related to sexuality even abuse of course abuses uh sexual abuses but even even just around teaching sacred sexuality i've seen um you know i've just seen so many

varieties of reactions to those kinds of things you know um i don't regret writing a book on intimacy even though i've had a few people that i knew at the time that said oh that's it you know you can't be my teacher because you're talking about sex or you can't come to our center and teach because you're talking about sex you know good riddance i mean because those kinds of people you know are not real friends anyway so that was kind of an easy segue not feeling regret about writing that book

now it gets further and further conflict more complicated because that last thing i'm talking about here is that when it gets complicated um is where you know if somebody wants a private session in all of my years god or my workshops that i taught to hear people leave saying this totally saved my life and you go wow that's wow makes it really well worth it to do work like that on in a session with somebody or um or in a workshop but with sexuality so many wounds and weirdnesses on this planet it can still

bring up too many confusions and then the regrets came in where i thought you know should i have not taught workshops well no because 99 out of 100 people say wow it saved my life but one in every 100 or 2 in every 100 would have some issue some judgment about the topic some judgment about oh you know i didn't know that other person was going to be here and i don't like them and i didn't feel safe in the workshop things like that those kinds of things for a teacher and i'm a bit sensitive that way so for a sensitive

teacher it would trigger like you know like shoot you know is this is there something wrong with this should we have done something different could i have tried harder to make sure everybody knows who's in the workshop so they don't come to a workshop and not want somebody i mean that's what happens the mind kicks in and becomes hyperactive i don't just mean frenetic hyperactive i mean hyper overly active trying to sort things out and we can't sort out everything for everybody all the time so but that's one

of my life regrets is teaching something that i think is amazing and and if if every client and every student would completely be able to trust me in teaching and presenting those kinds of things it's great because we there would be such a love and safety that they would understand whatever exercises or comments i make and exercises we do it's likely related to something that is a trigger for you that we can work on but it's too it's too um raw of a topic for people to go to that level of trust and emerge from it going

wow all the time you know wow stellar that was amazing it's too easy to get triggered because it's you're rubbing up against triggered issues topics and so on so that got a little weird and so when i say regret and complexity in one respect i'm like god this was always well worth it writing those books and teaching those you know and talking and doing lectures and so on with these things and i loved um doing lectures at conferences where there were people on tantra and so on because i was able to

say something to them guys you know like stop being so extremely hyper sexual with clients and so on if your personal lives that's your business but with clients because there's other ways to heal people you don't have to do a b and c you can try x y and z and there's other ways to help bring that stuff up for people or help them feel affection or intimate you don't have to have sex with a person to let them feel let's say held and loved it's a nice way to do it if you're mutual if you're both

friends or partners but when you're charging them for that it gets a little weird but why don't you try this why don't you just try holding them and letting them feel loved let them if they want affection and love hold the person i've done that with god an 80 year old woman once just as one example oh and she cried afterwards because she hadn't been held she said for 30 something years you know and since her husband passed i mean it was it's such a beautiful thing in that respect yes i'm like yes let's

do that work but when other things happen and people misinterpret it it gets like well it's not worth it sometimes and so for me um doing the work many stellar things and then the the strange things that can happen or the miscommunications or miscues or people projecting or transferring you know well you held me so you must be in love with me so it gets kind of messy so part of what i was leading to is i also partly regretted no longer doing those workshops because it means now there's almost nobody on the planet and

i mean that there might be two teachers on the planet that i could say have good integrity on that topic and this isn't a talk on tantra's sexual sexuality or anything we've got some you can watch on youtube or facebook um or some of our rental renter purchase videos you can get so i'm not on that right now i'm just using it as a personal testimonial that that's one of those complex ones look at all the good that came from it yet i'm still tempted to feel regret because i also said no no more sessions

the last one was maybe a few years ago i can't remember time was but a few years ago and and um and even then it got to where i would maybe do one every couple of two three years apart instead of one on every tour let's say which would be you know a couple dozen times a year it became one every you know few years one so um it cut cut cut way down and even then you know so part of me is like wow what a bummer you know i would love to have made more professional videos on the topic we have good ones we have great

videos on it but i mean we're like full length couple hours of thorough instruction um and and on a level of of international you know that kind of a scene but even when asked recently to do something like that i i said yeah you know maybe i'll we'll look at that and consider it but as we got closer to it the world's just screaming with so many negative connotations around this topic of sexuality so it really gets weird guys if you're thinking you have a complex thing uh understand we all have

them and that's one of mine the complex the the you know uh the log jam of all the good that it brings and yet people in the world are triggered and yet part of me is like well if we let them stay triggered how am i helping them i mean don't they need doesn't somebody need to to show some sanity here and i really really thought yeah let me help and that's maybe the only topic in anything i've ever dealt with i still talk about it like you know at times um sexual sexuality and so on intimacy

relationships but there's that topic is one that i i laid to rest and no more do five-day intensive no longer do three-day intensive two-day intensives um no longer do private sessions much at all i still will help people if they come to me and say i really really you know like wounding i'm not gonna turn somebody away if they've got abuses but when they're wanting to know how to come out into their sacred sexual self um i you know that's not me um at this point you know it's been years and i would like to

but it's hard for people to really understand it they have to really dedicate and trust that whatever we then go to and talk about it's going to be really really important and there's total trust with each other in all teacher-student relationships there should be total trust but man in that topic needs to be a lot of it and you know it's better so there's it's like there's a complex of i would love to have done more and you can see my my even talking about it that there's part of me that's like oh

so frustrated that i would love to have done more i love to have told people don't go and shame the whole world just because of one politician years ago don't shame the whole topic just because of one scene in a movie or one behavior um you know even if i say or do something that you don't like talk to me and let's work it let's heal it and you know the world just is doesn't do things like that so i would like to have done more regret that i couldn't or didn't choose to be able to do more um

but at the same time grateful for what i've experienced and done and all the the praises that come from that god we have hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of testimonials about it workshop or sessions and so on i i that stuff is so warming to the heart but the topic is so beat up in this world i ran into a jam with that and re then regret having to then make a decision and um so that's one that i had to sit with and say okay um would i have recommended to a loved one to go to my workshops yes yeah i would um and i've had many

parents send their kids young adults to it because it was so valuable so that feels good to read the books yes to watch the lectures listen to the lectures absolutely to have private sessions especially with abuse history yes and what about opening up to new levels of healthy sexuality in sessions or um discussions and so on that one gets tricky because of the stuff that can come from it just in terms of transference and confusion but yeah i do believe so um but what i often typically try to do is is say let me teach you and then find a safe

other like a friend that can do the work with you i'll teach it to you but that's why i did the workshop so that i don't have to do the work itself other than a few rare instances i'd rather teach people and let them move forward in their lives different and being able to teach their friends as well on how to do these things so i feel really good in that sense but such a complex complex you know so for yourselves please just because you have a complexity of regret you don't know how much to regret

not regret it's confusing doesn't mean that you don't do work on it i did work on this and it's an issue you know global issue and an issue for students that still beg me to do these workshops you know and hearing that they can't find people to do work with them oh my god you know that's ah you know such a bummer i want to help um but now that i've made a choice jesus will tell you and has told you by the fruits to know something is right or not just tested by the fruits meaning the outcome

and so my feeling inside of the outcome that is my feeling uh of the outcome of not doing more work in that area feels more peaceful than it feels conflicted there's a part yeah i would like to have helped more i would like to etc etc but overall peaceful if people really want something want to learn something they can read the books watch the videos on the topic or ask me fine and so on and so on but find ways that work for you guys don't let yourselves become immobilized with regret nor an overly complex part of regret where you don't

know should i regret not regret after all this person gave me my children should i regret it not don't become immobilized don't sweep it under the rug divide and conquer so you would say i'm grateful that i got my kids but i could have had them any other way if possible it could have happened you know it's possible it could have happened another partner a healthy one another you know or whatever like i said immaculate conception if you want to do that it is possible so just think about it guys divide and conquer don't let any of

these things defeat you and don't let regret defeat you every little bit regret gets a foot in the door please understand is going to let a lot of dust and debris blow in to your life and that will manifest as you know people and issues and incidents and your own low self-worth your own confusions and so on and so on so be careful you know don't let regret beat you up all right remember that regrets behind a lot of the things you think are issues of themselves without regret they would be just hollow eggshells they would be empty um

nothing behind them you know not even hot air there would be nothing behind those um puppets of of fake you know they're just clouds of fake power and they've gotten they blow and they would just blow right over you and gone they wouldn't sink in at all if you didn't have regret for them to stick to all right well i prayed this makes sense this made sense and many blessings to all of you and thanks for you know trusting me to share my thoughts on these kinds of things love you lots and appreciate you in my

life and uh in that you appreciate the work i do all right remember i have a website michaelmeardad.com you can pick things up there read articles there's free downloads on healing exercises and so on a lot of cool stuff we like to give away as much as possible and not charge we only charge where we need to and have to books and dvds cds we have available for charge tons and hundreds in fact for free on youtube if you'd like to check those out okay you