Peace of God

we've been talking about personalizing our relationship with spirit instead of thinking of it as something up there out there somewhere rather learning to experience the presence of god day and night every day somehow and the best way to do that is obviously just to start the day with a vulnerable open attitude open heart to say here i am you know guide me and we've talked about that in recent weeks but this is very important to understand because there are people on this planet that still even so-called spiritual people

are still trying to ask god for things you know god give us world peace god you know make me more prosperous or do this or do that or whatever it happens to be bring back my partner who left me and all kinds of things what we have to understand is god does not dabble in stuff least of all illusionary stuff it does it doesn't it can't enable illusions it makes no sense whatsoever and furthermore god is a state of consciousness meaning it's a feeling like bliss and love and joy and peace it's not a human emotion like lack and

limitation and fear and anger it is divine feeling peace and joy like it's ah this it's this tranquility and humans get glimpses of it once in a while you know and people they know we all know that we really want that we all know that we want tranquility but since it's not seemingly easily attained people will sell it to us in you know you could say synthetic versions whether that's drugs alcohol or any other feeding of an addiction stimulate us a little to make us feel better sedate us a little to make us

feel more relaxed do anything as long as it's still a doing and there's this other thing that's waiting and there's a reason why it's called a peace that surpasses understanding it's because it's not attained by anything of this world it's not logical at all and this piece is just one of the states of feeling of god god is bliss god is joy it's not like just a nice saying god is peace god is joy it actually is whenever we if and whenever we feel a true sense of peace we're actually

feeling the presence of god if ever we feel actual joy we're actually feeling the presence of god at least some amount of it so this is amazing because you you think it would be the only thing we would want that's in part what that meant seek and ye shall find but partly what that means is seek with an attitude that there is nothing else that's as important it's prioritizing seek and ye shall find it it's not a true statement if seek and put this on the bottom of your checklist and ye shall find that doesn't make any

sense not only do we have to seek we also have to decide i have value for nothing else but this human beings don't realize i really want the peace of god i also want to get revenge for that i want to be i want to be right about and all those other things exclude the peace we just said we wanted you know i i just want nothing but peace and check check check check we have other things we will have the peace the love the joy the presence of god honestly when we want nothing else that's how it works out the math of it when we want nothing else

then that's the only thing we'll find in the meantime while we still think other things are of value it becomes a competition in our hearts and minds just automatically by default as long as we think anything else can serve in any way you know so there's people you know they they get the defenses ready in an argument i really want the peace of god but in case that doesn't work i've got to be ready you know for the argument and and it's hard not to think that way on this planet this planet tells us every

day that this is the only way to survive you know you'd be irresponsible to not have your defenses ready your arguments your attacks your you know because you got to protect yourself after all what god's not going to protect you people will sometimes say it's not true but we have forgotten that we have forgotten that that love is so powerful peace is so powerful like you you take the the person jesus they called him the prince of peace and and if you think about it the logical head tells us okay so you know

peace and then passivity and he was he let him crucify him so that's that's what happens when you're peaceful peace passivity equals death you know and we go no i'd rather not can i have a different mantra instead of peace peace that this guy chose as his mantra love and peace was so powerful as a mantra that when he walks onto a raging storm he can say peace be still and the weather changes so don't think that his demonstration of passivity in an instant or two instance or two means that peace is nothing but passive

it does not mean you're a doormat when you embody peace because he also told the soldiers to get a life when they came to arrest him a couple times he said i'm not in the mood get lost and turn them away that's not that's not any easy task but to tell a storm chill i'm paraphrasing chill and the storm's like okay sorry that's powerful stuff peace is powerful love is powerful powerful not in the sense of negative intensity powerful in the sense that it can do anything peace and love joy and abundance they're

actually all the same any feeling of god means the state of god a consciousness of god so when you say i would love the peace of god no wait i want the joy of god because because peace might be missing something they're only still human perceptions of what these words mean when you say i would love to feel the peace of god it means the consciousness of god with that comes all the gifts of god and that's really cool but it is a choice we have to make i've done a talk here before where i talked about joy and i explained

you know joy like how do i get joy it's not from an external stimuli joy comes from moving the blocks to joy that's how amazing this is the presence of god is actually already here which also means so is peace love joy and abundance oneness bliss all of it but why don't i feel it something is in the way so a course in miracles says there's a couple of things you ought to consider one how how do you recognize peace if it does show up how do you attain that peace and if you attain it how do you keep it

he says these are important questions you ought to consider and in a nutshell how to know peace which also means love joy any attribute of god how to know them is there unlike anything of this world and that means primarily first of all it feels like a feeling that wells up inside for example if somebody tells you some good news on the outside it's a stimulus on the outside you go wow tv a negative oh you know you're devastated that's a stimulus from outside that's different from something you feel that rises up within

you guys get what i'm saying right it's like you feel it's something that's coming from inside and that's one way to know it's coming from god another way to know is it makes no sense whatsoever it's not typically a feeling you have had before but it makes no logical sense because i should be scared right now and for some reason i feel kind of peaceful that means you're experiencing something supernatural and that's how you can know it's from god something is happening that is not of

this world because of this world it's very simple when something says boo i get startled that's the natural progression of this world but instead today what happened is someone went boo and i was just still kind of like what just holding the center i just had this peacefulness someone says i don't like you anymore and it it was okay someone said this someone said that the news said watch out you know and it's like i just felt this sense of peace a loved one is struggling and it didn't push or pull me out of my center somehow

not because i'm cold like in a negatively neutral state it's because somehow and i don't even know how and that's a good sign to be able to say i don't know how but somehow i feel okay someone is sick but somehow i don't know why but i feel they're okay because they are spiritually god god has never looked upon the planet went you know at somebody's situation as much as we would like to think our situations are so terrible that god would react in such a way god has never went off man that is totally

that is unfixable oh me you know that's never happened how can i feel more like god now here's what's important if you think about it think about all the people that are challenged that you run into on a day-to-day basis and how much they're benefited by you actually holding your center i know that there's times when they're looking for somebody to hook in and when you don't give them that they're not going to like you but really tune into it and it's obvious we are more helpful to people when we don't

buy into the fears so people will the news will but you know people will try to hey did you hear there's something horrible happening in the world who would have thought and it's a temptation because they're off center they want to pull you off center i i truly do not you know i am not an advocate of you saying oh i see satan you trickster you're trying to pull me off center i'm not saying you mark them as evil for doing it but what i think you can do is kind of find a way to bridge with them and say oh my god you're kidding that's

wow that's terrible and then hook them in instead of them hooking you hook them in with you know it sounds like maybe we should do something like right now let's have a moment of stillness to to find our center so we can be helpful to those people you see you said it tactfully you didn't wrong them calling them bad or evil or whatever but you acknowledge but then you offer something else i'm not telling you that all the people you say that to are going to go wow great idea some of them some of them are going to

be like you live in sedona don't you you're one of those one of them new age nut cases oh let's let's pray on that you know they want you hooked and they're not going to be happy when you don't get hooked and some people will appreciate it if there's even a spark of light in that person that's open they're going to see what you just offered and i swear and they're going to appreciate it the ones that don't not a problem at least you still held your center it's very important because

the world is asleep and it wants to pull everyone into that sleep that amnesia from recognizing who we really are so all of these moments as the course is saying how do you how do you recognize peace and the presence of god because it's something so different and it wells up from inside and i feel it when i shouldn't be feeling it i should be hooked into stuff and i feel centered that's a good sign you know then he's going on to say in the course how do you find it how do you grab that more often and and and lock it in

so he says as i've told you before seek and ye shall find you have to want more than anything else to feel peace some of us say well i'd like to feel peace but i don't i'd like to feel happiness or joy and i don't again it's not because we're bad but we're so programmed to feel other things and we have to eventually figure out how to get rid of those other programs you can't wish they weren't there they don't just go away because you wish they weren't there you have to actually recognize that

you've got them which is the opening of responsibility i recognize i would like to feel peace and i'm not step one then we can start saying this lack of peace does not serve me if you don't recognize the lack of god's presence doesn't serve you you're not going to give it up you have to become this you know just viscerally aware that it is doing you no good to live the way you were kind of like getting into a 12-step program where you start to say this life is not serving me i need some help

it's that level of vulnerability so this is not serving me and i suspect that there is something that would represent my highest good that being god and i'm ready for that you walk yourself through that progression recognizing what's happening isn't making sense to me willingness to give it up because it isn't serving me and choose something better that is the progression that it takes for our brain to actually be willing to be unplugged and rewired otherwise it has little rules and it says if you don't go through this

progression we will not allow this reprogramming you can't skip a step you can't just skip the first step that says there's a problem you can't just go i think i'm going to now just affirm that everything's peachy it's saying oh well thank you for sharing that doesn't do anything because there's no room in the inn there's no room in this brain for everything's peachy we already have everything wired that it's not peachy and until you unplug that there will be no circuits open for you to plug

something in essentially that's how it goes so peace has to be sought by us but also we have to become determined that there's nothing more important and those are those moments i believe when we're getting into our greatest levels of humility you know kind of like even when we think we've got it figured out even when we think you know what my life's not so bad i mean why do i need to do all this kind of open-hearted prayer if everything's kind of going well because it can go even better

just to be able to say i do not know i'm open to spirit that knows everything that would be the greatest good for me and everybody i encounter besides my life going so so is not the greatest goal it's how can i also bring that to other people and i will be more guided if i surrendered a spirit on who to bring it to and how to bring it to them than if i try to figure it out on my own we have to understand the ultimate concept of channeling is to channel meaning to be the presence of god not to just channel an entity of

some kind but to actually be a living channel demonstration example of spirit how can i be the presence of god on earth so we have to learn to ask ourselves some very important questions because if we don't think it through if we think you know things are kind of going okay it's it's not going to open us up so we have to learn to ask healthy questions you know that includes every day if i'm not feeling peace or joy or love it means i have not chosen it and i know that's a tough one but we will automatically feel whatever

we are most invested in feeling got that so you can't say well i wanted peace it just never came i have to want it more than my standardized programs the programs that are already entrenched for lifetimes perhaps i have to make these things my priority choice and if it's not happening i have more work to do either do more choosing to experience it or remove more blocks because that's all it is choose it but get the other out of the way meaning forgiveness is the number one key that brings as a natural result it's kind of

amazing because we don't have to forgive and then go looking for joy and try to find it and then figure out how to breathe it in and integrate it joy or the presence of god automatically because we are one with god but we forgot so when we forgive that connection we have with god starts showing up that's why often when we have prayed to be helped or prayed to forgive someone you often start to feel kind of a nice feeling inside and it's it's really kind of a drag because all too often people forget to even

watch for that nice feeling they're kind of still waiting for stuff i didn't see any bright purple lights so i guess nothing happened you know or i didn't i didn't hear i didn't receive any any you know emails from my ex that said i'm so sorry you're a goddess aren't you you know i i didn't get what i wanted so i kind of forget that something happened the most important thing we should be watching for when we've done healing work is a feeling a shift in a feeling and you watch for it because it could be

ever so subtle it could be peace it could be joy it could be love some feeling like even if the feeling is nothing but less stressed and you can go okay well that was nice i feel less stressed no what you felt was the presence of god so don't just go that was kind of nice be amazed be amazing wait a minute just some minutes ago i was like stressed and right now not only do i feel kind of nice that could only be happening given my previous moment if the presence of god started becoming felt oh my god that's amazing be wowed by it

and when you're wowed by it and give thanks for it you'll actually multiply it it'll actually increase and then it becomes even more clear what's happened a miracle what's nice about that is you start to then remember because it's not just any kind of just slight thing what starts to happen is that was profound and that becomes something more memorable so that next time you're stressed it becomes more attractive as an option to do forgiveness work to do healing work release work instead of just

still asking for some things and wanting those things so we see as an example in this world you know the world's going to constantly try to pull you off center it'll be people's comments it'll be the news but let's remember these are tests i am one with god but i have forgotten now my job on earth is to remember and that is a job that is done a day at a time but it's not just a day at a time it's one test at a time someone pulls me off center and you know before that happens i start my day

oh i am one with god oh i'm blissful i'm just peachy wow yep yep everything's just great you leave your house somebody cut you off on the road and you're like you know like you know i hate you and people and drivers and men and people and always and and those drivers and snowbirds and you have all the names for everybody that's bothering you on the road it's always somebody in that color car or whatever and and we realized what you just had happen is what well this person no there's only one name for all of it

i saw something on the news nope there's only one name i had a test did i pass or did i fail well i would have passed if only uh that would be a fail now you're even failing on owning that you failed the test failing doesn't mean horrible regret as i said in the first service it should be followed with a a sacred mantra in sanskrit it's been known for thousands of years also known in aramaic but this word this amazing and important mantra is oops so when you mess up when you slip you just go oops and if you need to be really new age you

go you know drag it out a little bit and then you know oops but that's all we need to do there's no need for the hanging on the regret just oh i get it i get it that was a test how do i know because i was wanting to be centered in the presence of god and right now i'm not so i allowed it's a choice i allowed something to take me off my center it pushed me it pulled me it did something but i'm not here anymore oops now what might i do about it the most immediate thing of course you know forgive yourself and

just try again get back on the saddle and let's go but to put it in other terms one thing practical thing to do is when you have a moment for example if you're driving to work somebody cut you off on the road you get all upset when you get to work park the car and take just 60 seconds to stop see what's happened oops and then visualize the whole thing happening differently visualize that you didn't lose your center that you handled it differently why because i'm telling you to be in denial no i'm asking you to do it right

at least etherically in energy in consciousness so that it is wired in your brain that you did succeed which then makes my odds next time greater than i will succeed if you wire failure your brain will only know that it doesn't know how to succeed at that particular kind of test so there's a way out of it and it's instant see it differently that's one of the reasons of course in miracles uses a consistent mantra you know i'm choosing to see this differently i could see this differently and things

to that nature so one of the most important things to remember the things that pull us and push us off center one of the most underestimated ones is doubt any state of fear anger doubt regret any of those are going to take us off center it doesn't really matter the name of it although to some degree it helps to know that but ultimately it's still a choice i'm feeling regret i'm feeling anger i'm feeling i'm not feeling peace therefore there's something i need to do here and that would be healing and some

forgiveness a healing process or forgiveness to get back on center visualizing like i said maybe the situation happening differently but watch out for doubt because even when we have spiritual moments we have doubts that that was really spiritual we have a moment of oh i felt kind of a tingling you know no you know maybe you know maybe it was nothing we brushed things off we have to start even though at the risk of saying you know the word serious we have to start taking things more seriously in our spiritual path not

obsessive spiritual but lightly but serious to start to see things and take them as truth if i'm on this path then these things are tests instead of just random incidents the whole world looks like it's there and it's actually just a hologram but it's a hologram that's showing us whether we're passing or failing our test passing our test is showing us we are further along in our remembrance of our divinity the failing of our tests are showing that we're choosing to hide and sleep hit the snooze button again and again

and again is that bad not at all then we just have to go back to what i shared earlier which is is this serving me hitting the snooze button is dating again someone that seems unhealthy doing again compulsive or addictive behaviors are these things really doing anything healthy or good for me no learning to see it then it's easier to bid farewell to it because we have healthier choices at hand so as i'm coming towards a close you know i i share often the ideas like like learning to ask healthy questions like instead of just going well i might

have had some push and pull off center but i'm just gonna let it go that doesn't actually heal it that just keeps you off center still that's like saying well i took a wrong road and i'm gonna just pull the car over and sit here and deny that i took the wrong street and somehow that'll lift my car up and put me back somewhere else that doesn't make any sense at all you did get off on the wrong road you need to get back on the right road so that's where our participation particularly in love and forgiveness

even self-forgiveness comes in but ask intelligent questions so when you're wondering if something's gonna push and pull you hey did you hear the news something horrible happened in the world and we better watch out because now this is going to happen and this is going to happen and one more thing in conspiracies and whatever else stop for a moment and ask yourself when you start to get pushed and pulled ask intelligent questions such as is this what god would have me feel right now i wonder and ask intelligently it's not likely

even if this thing is happening would god encourage me to become panicked because then that confirms that this thing has power over me and that's what all the tests are about i am as god created me or i am not if i am not i have lots to worry about if i am as god created me nothing has power over me so we come back to that question and confirmation again and again so you hear stuff and people you know watch out for this and look out for that i'm not saying that that people's concerns don't ever ever

ever have some foundation in in maybe a a reality of some kind something for us to consider even our own doubts but for the most part watch because doubts leak in and they will undermine the truth the truth of god is the opposite of the doubts of the ego so watch for the doubts and how they leak in i shared in the first service i'll share this again when i first got to sedona i realized like it was either the first or second christmas that i was here and i realized i think it was the first one but i realized there were folks in the room i

didn't really know many people but i realized there are some folks that are struggling financially and also they also you know they didn't have family in the area and i just it occurred to me i said you know we did a service like this on on christmas and i said you know it's christmas guys are any of you without a family or anywhere to go you know um you know and the lots of people and whatever number it was a couple dozen and it was like well okay i'm renting a place you know i was given like 24 hours to find a place so there

was only uh two places available and i picked one the one closest to unity here so i rented it i said you guys can come over to my house and we'll just sit around and chat just so that people had something see one minute kind of despair and aloneness and now an answer kind of cool right so i said come on you know come on up and so you know people picked up a dish here and there so that they could have food amongst each other and we went and we sat and then we just sat around and you know chatted and and shared thoughts

christmas stories and just a little inspiration love right and it was interesting because right after that there were a couple people that never came back to unity again and i wondered i wonder what that was about a few of them just kind of disappeared we found out that they had this this um they sort of ended up having this this insight that i was living in far too nice of a house for a spiritual leader that's how they spent their christmas sitting around looking at all it was was a rental you know and it's just it's the

only one that was available but in their head they had to go right in that's what doubt does they had doubts that a person can be this good so they had to conjure something up now i started hearing that and and now it becomes a test for me the test is either going to be wow did i do something wrong am i living in too nice of a house i should start looking at cardboard boxes or something you know shopping at a different place you know i mean you can get some nice ones over it at you all there whatever some decent shake you know so that

people can say oh look how humble you know uh he only washes his hair in rain water and lives on the dirt you know the lamp is that what they need so i have to ask myself this is a test what am i going to do with this and if you're in my position you'd be asking yourself just like you have your tests and voices so i had to like wow was i did i do something wrong like really is it too well no it was the only house available anyway but recognizing this is people and not to take it personally the opposite option i had was

hate them and get a better house that's also not a good option we have these charges like around prosperity and so you have an old school people saying money is the root of all evil spiritual teachers should not be in decent houses or whatever that's old school stuff but we have the opposite too which is if you're a spiritual teacher you should manifest wealth and live above everyone else and that's crazy too it's neither your own truth is your own truth you know to thine own self be true what

is organic like if your house no matter how nice or simple it is if it's a nice natural extension expressing you then i think it's organic it's beautiful it just feels like it's you if it's got an opulence that doesn't fit you then it's not organic and if it's got a simplicity that's way low beyond what you are as a person doesn't make sense either just has to connect well but people preach this stuff so they say money is the root of all evil and the other's saying no no that's

mistranslated it's supposed to be we're supposed to be wealthy neither of those is actually true but those people money is the root of all evil don't realize judgment is the root of all evil not money judgment and when you judge the people with money you are the root of all evil now by evil i don't mean those people are evil but here's what it means judgment is the root of all evil and the word evil means veils veils evils judgment is the root to all veils that separate us from one another so as soon as i judge you for having too

much money or too little money my judgments of you are creating veils therefore that is the root of the evil in this moment and someone has to heal it jesus himself could be standing here or any being you imagine to be just sublimely spiritual and high integrity and someone's still going to potentially find fault i mean they did enough to crucify him so think about that i was kind of joking in the first service because i'm picturing you know like you take jesus how much is he going to defend how much is he going to doubt himself

you know jesus listen um you know you were a saintly kind of spiritual guy but you did get crucified didn't you you might have had some naughty karma somewhere hidden jesus would say i only let things happen as i chose to let them happen perfectly there was no victim there was no negative karma per se we could take someone like jesus and say we've got to find fault with him or with you when people pick on you you've got to decide have your answers have your clarity have your center in peace and joy and not get

pulled and pushed because of people's opinions what if they would have said hey you know jesus was really nice he prayed he healed he did all kinds of wonderful things but he did tick some people off you know he kind of hurt their feelings so i picture that you know jesus there and jesus yes on trial you know did you break the sabbath and the laws and do healing when you weren't supposed to yes jesus did you tell the priests that their father was satan yes now say you're sorry i can't picture him doing it

and he did he told the priests your father is satan and figure of speech meaning you listen to guidance from the liar of the your ego i'm listening to god as my guide you're listening to your ego and your ego is a liar it tells you you are something you are not that i am something that i am not it's lying to you i wouldn't recommend it as a guide you know and it upset people but would he apologize so guys even when you're being clear it's hard to know sometimes when you're being really firm and dramatic

that you're holding your center because humans are so infrequently able to do that the more we start coming out stronger we usually are losing our center but it is possible to hold our center and speak dramatically it is possible and it's it's encouraged that we all learn that that's a possibility to be able to say knock it off and yet inside i'm still right here i'm not coming from i'm enraged knock it off i'm just hey that firmness that look that feeling jesus was saying to people

money changers and all that the story you know in the temple and he was saying you're hypocrites you're preaching to people telling them to follow the laws and you're not even following them that's hypocrisy he could have went beloveds that is um semi-hypocritical but he didn't he just said knock it off you're hypocrites period and they get upset with him but he doesn't lose his center and it's hard for us to imagine that so in sublime moments and in challenged moments fear-based moments potentially

angry moments how can i respond to things and still keep my peace about me and the best answer to that question is i have no idea but i'm open to learning and let the source of that show us i can try and figure it out i can you know humans can try to i know how to cope with stresses now so when somebody upsets me my counselor says breathe 10 times before you speak okay now i'm about to get ticked oh no hold on tapping japanese you know okay now i've over i've done an override of my reaction so i know i'm coming from a

centered place especially if i speak like this as i give myself an ulcer because deep down i'm still angry i can try but i'm just saying why bother just say god show me god is the source of peace show me how to be peaceful why would i try to figure out how to be peaceful so i could one day meet the source of peace just call upon the source of peace call upon the source of joy i don't know how to feel joy in this moment i i'm feeling kind of depressed what does joy feel like and you know it might be well i'm sad that someone's

passed away so god might not say well let me show you what joy looks like clicking your heels and dancing and not even carrying someone passed away maybe today it would only be a subtle shift in a sense of everything's okay they passed away and somehow they're okay that might be joy today the idea is that i'm going to experience a presence that is beyond my understanding who's understanding not my spiritual self the ego self and that's a good thing it is good that my ego has no idea how this happens and where it comes from

because that means it's something supernatural let's take a few centering breaths please setting aside the stuff of the world as always demonstrates our commitment our commitment to knowing something beyond our daily issues thoughts problems limiting beliefs and let's allow the music to draw us inside just lulling us into a beautiful

quiet space in our hearts every note every feeling of the music just calming us and bringing us into a quiet peaceful state in our hearts and we're feeling tranquil safe peaceful at rest hmm buoyant the body melts away and we feel a buoyance a lightness inside and around us and this is just a glimpse of what it's

like to be in the presence of god and allow the imagination to multiply the feeling multiply the feeling of bliss peace joy just let it percolate up and grow and it helps just to even imagine it so if i were totally at peace how would my breathing change how would it affect my muscles and as i reside in this space now become aware of things that may have over the last week entered your life and tempted you to doubt as was mentioned doubt is one of the primary culprits to us losing our center see anything that made you doubt tempted

you to hooked you and pushed you to take you off of center to doubt your financial abundance to doubt your worthiness for healthy partnership to doubt your health and one way to know if doubt is there is if you start to believe anything outside that your senses tell you rest assured instead that i still sit in this place peace if it still tempts you even now to go off your center just see it and own it and recognize it would not serve you and choose your peace again and then imagine all the people in this

room doing the same thing and if any one of us weakens a little the others are there to support them and help them hold their center and now we have a spiritual ecosystem taking care of one another maintaining support and center and then imagine people that are watching this service from all around the world holding their center becoming like light bulbs on a grid and we're holding that center we're holding that presence for everyone in the world people might have more money might have more power more authority in this world

but they're just souls also having their tests so can we not hold our presence as a support to those people because they do reach out even when they don't know it politicians of every kind are starving at times for peace don't know how to find it and so they act all clumsy in the way they work think speak let's be that for them religious leaders political leaders parents that air in the way to raise children and be nice let's hold presents for them all let's hold presents for partners to be kind and communicative

with one another let's hold presence first people struggling with addictions we are here for you all that you need is held right here as we choose to manifest the presence of god feeling the awe and the gratitude that we can be such for one another that we can be of such loving service to one another it's amazing and we extend this same feeling to all beings of all dimensions and throughout all time the presence of god is here is now and always has been but we lift the veils to see it

through choice and so it is slowly slowly reacclimate a couple of breaths because we don't want to separate from that experience we want to let it kind of integrate into our cells