MM Personal Q & A: His Past Marriage & Partnerships

Shake this up a little bit. So we're gonna get the next question, and it is, let's see, oh well of course, are you married or have you been and what's your take on partnership or where you got with partnership something to that effect.

No, I'm not married, and I'm not married and completely unavailable, basically. So let me explain that one. I was married roughly 1980 to 1990 roughly again you ever take a year but 1980 to 1990 and loved it I mean loved in the sense of I met a a high school friend and we found each other as soul friends I don't know you could say it was big deep romantic or anything like that it was just you know just soul friendship and that's how we connected and and that's why we couldn't connect anymore because it was really meant to be more than that and we're still soul friends so it's pretty cool that way till around

1990 and then and I had kids you know just a years too after getting married and it had the first one and I had three daughters and that was really cool had a great life with them especially the first half of their lives then comes divorce and changes and you know then there's disruptions that that kind of affect people and it's one of my regrets I think in life is would love to have provided a different kind of space for them forever but I'm very proud and excited for the time I created what I created for them in the first half of

you know that and and as best I could the rest of the time too but I was married and technically you could say legally legally I was married a second time and that was really to support a friend for various reasons I can't explain but just a support a friend so you could say technically I was married twice but once and don't know that I would do it again it's not necessary in my opinion so I don't well one thing I've tried to get across to people is instead of saying I'm married I'm not available

because I'm married or I'm not doing such and such because I marry I'm saying you know although I've chosen in the last 10 years of my life a couple of intimate relationships I believe in if you're going to be in a committed relationship then have an agreement and then stick to that agreement if you're not then let it be known to yourself in your partner or your friends or whomever that's where you're at so I like that it's important to be honest in the sense that you're committed you're not committed because

you can have a partnership and it may not be committed but that's ok as long as everybody knows so but I do believe that we can be far more in love than like my intimate friend my partner or my first wife we were soul friends and I think there was more love and respect there than in most marriages I've ever seen and when it was over it was still almost like it wasn't over because of our habit of being married but also connecting you know friendship respect I didn't feel right being the type that you know introduces his kids to the

latest girlfriend I didn't feel right I'm not telling you it's wrong for you it just didn't feel right for me and for her and I had a guy that I knew one time he said you know you're the most faithful unmarried guy I have ever met because I was being faithful to somebody I wasn't married to anymore but it was faithful that were really more respect than anything else I didn't want to see her feelings and so on so I did what I could with that and that's about it and when it comes to relationships a long story short because I've shared this

somewhere in lectures married 18 1980 to 19 then really stayed out a relationship for a few years it took a little something for me to step into that first was probably with a friend that was close so that was nice and convenient for each of us coming out of marriages but also you know and there were exceptions there were there's an exception here and there with a friend that we were into it or something but that's probably the first and I then I met somebody that was really a good like a like a it would be like an intimate friend we were hanging out it was the

first time I ever was now instead of a wife or a or a post marriage person it was somebody that was just more like a friend and we hung out I was probably 30 she might have been 26 or something and I'm here I am 30 something that is and Here I am having not been I never dated I never I mean technically I still have never dated officially which is kind of strange to say but it's true but we we for the first time I would we'd hang out like a friend that you were in a relationship with I hadn't had that so that was kind of cool and we had a

commitment to do that and only that for a year or two and it worked just beautifully and then you know our commitment our contract of time came to an end and we parted ways because she really was ready for an ongoing partnership which I was traveling all the time I couldn't do that so we talked about it we agreed well that wouldn't be able to that wouldn't be my circumstance so we parted ways with love and respect and you know I counseled her now and again with relationship issues for the next year or so until she finally met

the person of her dreams and gave her advice on that and she moved forward into that and I think happily ever after if I'm not mistaken and so in the 90s there was a lot of awkwardness there's a couple of wonderful souls that I spent with but a lot of awkwardness too clumsy like moments of people might have thought well he just knows what he's doing he teaches about relation sexuality life spirituality that this he's just really confidently coming into life and we had relations or whatever what they didn't know is that it was new

to me in the 90s they it was new to me I had come out of marriage and then abstained for a while so it was a little awkward besides a shyness in general and for you know in the first place but it was a little awkward and so you know probably experienced things that other people that I spent time with it probably didn't understand because they expected me to be different and then it wasn't until I think maybe you know the end of the 90s that I I saw other spiritual teachers that I really respected and I saw how they had what I

would call a couple of intimate friends and so I opened my mind to that and that was very beautiful there was a couple people that I would say were intimate friends meaning that's different don't confuse that with friends with benefits which I'm not into per se but this is intimate friendships meaning the friendship comes first and there's not just with benefits the benefits are an illusion there's a lot of love and respect shared not just convenience you know at least of all with sex it's not where it's at so I'm really grateful for

those experiences I don't know that the people know how grateful I am because people move on and they do other things but man that was really really cool for me and then I know it'll be somewhat brief from here just out of respect of time for you guys in the 2000 timeframe I shared a little bit of time where I started looking at from those couple of intimate friendships towards one in particular and and sort of stayed with that for a little while a few years I think and then then things relaxed a lot more and

I had a lot of friends you know handful of friends that became close and we really all just became really close friends literally just friends but a couple of those seemed to call it graduate upwards into a deeper friendship so I developed a few you know intimate friendships and it was really beautiful it was respectful you know one of the points being that I've been married I've been single I've been you know abstinent I've been intimate with intimate friends so I've had a variety of things that people can experience in

terms of relationships and partnerships and I honestly believe all of them were quite beautiful to have explored I I can't say any of them by theme or a problem I would say there's a couple of mistakes of decisions here and there for sure just a few in all those years but they're still there so yeah by the by the end of the 20s to the 2000s I think it's just you know things kind of settle down and started going more in a direction of okay the friendships it's kind of hard and strenuous for people to keep long-distance friendships that I

was at because they were all long-distance so that kind of settled down to where you know it was easier to have and keep it to a little bit more towards well if I'm going to have something have it with one person and you know so that's I kept it a little more like that through the 2010s but you know by and large everything's been beautiful in that respect this may not be the dirt some people are looking for does he do this you know is he gay or straight or is e polyamorous or monogamous or whatever and I've tried to

say to people I I am I'm really 99% unavailable because of because we don't need to be I'm in a position where I teach and teachings my most important thing so if I had to choose between teaching and partnership or sex or whatever it be teaching first and so I've really only been with people that I believed understood that and so therefore I thought that they were matching me in terms of maturity and that's why I felt it right to deal with them and most of the time I was right in a couple times you know

there were hidden agendas that that end up being shown but so so be it it's life but that's about it I hope that addressed whatever questions that you might have had or my history in that area okay