Love: Experiencing the Real Thing

so today's talk is focusing on love and before we go into what people would typically experience or expect a conversation about Valentine's Day you know to be focused on love like romantic love that's not really how we roll here we like to do things the deepest level possible so before we can go into you know just like a romantic version of love we have to understand love it really for us to understand love forget the romantic notion for a minute because that's the last priority the first priority is consciousness I want to be

the love God created me to be not I want God to tell me where I can find love perfectly in a person who's perfect to match my perfection you know I just don't even don't even bother that's not that's not healthy and it's not going to work we have to recognize and that's why people are in so much pain romantically God does not will us to be in pain or struggle romantically or on any other level but why is it a constant struggle why is divorce rate over 50% why is romance a struggle because people are

looking for love in all the wrong places how can you get something find something if you have no resonance within yourself if you found true love if you don't know what you love is you wouldn't know it because there's no familiar energy of it if you don't see it you can put a pile of gold bars on one side of a room and on the other side pots and pans and a one year old to crawl over to the pots and pans it doesn't recognize the other as having any value because if you want to know what's really a value whether

it's spiritual or any on the other level there's got to be something in ourselves that would recognize it if we found it so continuing it sounds like a drag people like no no I don't want one of those talks I won't want to lose where I can find quick and easy this wouldn't be the place for that this is the real and forever this these kinds of talks we're real and forever God is all that really exists and it's only that part in us that really exists and that part is complete within itself so it never

looks for some other part of itself because God is one it's not pieces the only reason we go looking romantically for pieces to fill us is because we perceive ourselves is already being fractured fragmented something that's in pieces change your opinion about yourself and all of a sudden you start to feel more complete then comes the question within why would you bother looking for anybody else it wouldn't but you can choose to and that's what's nice you know I felt kind of together but I'm

I'm kind of looking that I'd like to share that with you see some people want to make it like if you really become that healthy and that's why people become supposedly you know abstinent and celibate and all that they become sworn to a certain path you know and and they think that goes hand in hand with no relationships that's only them because they don't know how else to do it there's no teacher telling them and the next step is that you can experience wonderful love romance and so forth even

the intimate side of things when you have your act together a bit more they make it extreme because that's where their mindset is that they don't know because there's not enough teachers telling people you can have your cake and eat it you can get your act together become healthy and responsible and still have healthy responsible relationships even if it's just an intimate friendship and not a full-on life mate marriage or whatever you want to call it people can have this we can have this but there's

no teachers talking about it because for the most part they don't know how to do it step one god start having a relationship with God there's only three relationships you can have with God yourself and others and it always has to happen in that order not perfectly one with God and perfectly one with yourself before others they're kind of at the same time but the priorities are clear you can still have one with us you can be in the middle of a relationship right now still your priority would be God

first my self second and then you people don't want to get Hallmark cards that say that you come last but I still love you you know that's not it's not where people are at you know yeah it's it's done if you tell them that but you should be flattered you know when I was in high school I I would ask people that we're interested in me I'd ask them what are your priorities I mean I would have been just a bummer for anybody to ever meet romantically I'm sure I'm sure that's the case but I would ask so what

are your priorities you know and I swear to you people would say you know if they're interested romantically with well you're you're my folk focus and I would be done already the first time I met somebody that said god I'm like ooh I like you and ended up seeing this person for a while like 10 years at Meriter but you know and and that is why we could remain even spiritual friends to this day because this woman had God as a first priority's that makes sense do you see how not everybody in the

world would think that way don't be intimidated just because you think well I have to choose between because I have a partner or a potential partner that's not interested in that I don't want to turn them on with all my healthiness turn them off rather with all my healthiness I know it seems like an inconvenience but too bad because the world your world your reality is going to be determined by your choices and if you choose God first don't think oh well I guess find God first you know I guess

I'm gonna have one of those celibate serious kinds of relationships know if you understand how to bring God into everything you are you're then it all starts to manifest passion I mean because even my passion for God and my passion for myself should become also my passion for you just like when I'm talking to a group I'm having a relationship with you this is an experience we're in a relationship not everything's partner type they're all relations parenting is a relationship work has relationships but they really

can be and should be all passionate most people don't have enough in here for it to come out they don't feel like they have enough for others I don't have enough energy to other people I can't smile at work anymore because they're spent are they bad or wrong for that not at all it starts to bridge into that you know over to the wood but you could say is bad or inappropriate if you're so empty that you start to vent on other people your emptiness that becomes abusive but for the most part there's nothing wrong with

people that don't know how to bring more all it means is they're empty that's all you go to get a water out of a cup in it you've been drinking all day and it's empty well is that evil cup no just nothing left and that's how people are there's just nothing left and I wouldn't say that should be the person you go you know I found an empty person that would be a perfect relationship no instead I would shift gears into how can I help now they're a client or a friend perhaps

but I wouldn't think of it as romantic you know I have a some odd experiences in meeting people and one time I met somebody and is one of the very few times in my life where I felt like a nice resonance and so I thought you know especially because it's time my life this time in my life I'd gotten divorced and and and it would've been a few years several maybe five or so years so I was thinking okay I'm gonna I'm gonna you know try this out meet somebody and Cutten you know finally met somebody I

thought this is interesting enough of a net energy connection I'm gonna see how this works out met the person we're talking and it seems like it's all just flowing really well so I said so what's been going on in your life and they said well I'm in the middle of a divorce in that second my mind immediately this is me it immediately switches done with the interest and how can I help and most people don't know how to do that they can't afford it I want something it's like a little tyrant and what they got

to have that relationship but I'm saying that if I approach you ignoring that there was an issue I'm gonna be part of the problem so it's actually healthy for me to to set aside the me and say how can I help and then we think you know I've had people say this to me fine I can keep doing that Michael and then I end up with nothing I didn't feel like nothing I walked away from that there might have been an ounce going isn't that funny like what that would have been kind of cool but it doesn't matter because 99%

is saying I'm very grateful that I did what I needed to do rather than what I would like to have wanted it's just so rewarding but spirit doesn't say now you have to choose spiritual path or human life human happiness it's not like that when we do the right thing when we take care of ourselves spiritually and others spiritually we're rewarded you know my life got to a place where I swear I I have had probably better friendships than anybody I've ever met honestly intimate friendships even

intimate ones I'm happy to say I believe that my friendships have been better than any friendships I've ever known or seen and and and they're human they're still human things that happen but I really can still instead of going well if they end you're supposed to throw it all out I refuse if something ever goes well for you please don't ever toss it breathe it in while I was in this five-year relationship and I thought it was great but one thing went wrong so I tossed it so it was all bad no instead

say to yourself what did I learn what did I gain from that what was at all positive and I don't care what it is could be intimate like a kissing I like the way they kiss it could be we had great conversations whatever it is take that peace own it as part of yourself forever it's not how they used to be such a great conversationalist and now I've lost that well I guess the kisser is gone so I'll never have one of those again that's how humans think it's always what I lost why didn't you gain it well they were

just a great kisser well weren't you there well yes but they had the tech dick why don't you memorize their technique I mean come on become so this whole world is about being and doing and humans keep doing things they keep doing to compensate they have an emptiness and then they do to compensate the more you do the more you do efforting things the more it confirms your emptiness I've been looking for somebody that would be a great partner how many of a day - 358 well that's doing you did 358 people in

more ways than one you're doing people you know you're doing people why how come you needed more than one or two or three why did you need so many and it's not well none of them are what do you mean I mean well you have to set up you need to set up you have that many you went through you need to set up for your own website dating website put them all on it you know a a former Michael date website you know or whomever you happen to be it's just not necessary you're showing too much doing where's

the being and the being does not mean all blissed out and no connection with people it means bringing something different God is a being of consciousness there's no doing for God God created the world in one first day in the second day God they use that terminology for human minds God didn't have to think to do anything ever God is and what God is it shares and extends and becomes more of it that's all it ever does God only expands in consciousness there's never an effort team there's never hands chiseling man

out of rock or whatever there's no efforting to be so clear about what God is that's what makes it effortless for God to do anything it's the doing without doing and we're made in God's image so we're capable of everything and anything without effort but in the human condition we understand there's going to be some amount of doing so there's being and there's doing but those of us who are growing spiritually you're not supposed to just choose how to go from doing things to only being because

that's extreme if you're going to only be then you would be in spirit and not honor in a human form so then in a human form there's nothing but doing no in between there's mastery in between there's being a god or goddess and that's the one humans keep forgetting it's called being it's called doing without doing how can i connect more with my being yet still do things in spirit nothing is done it is here we only do and I'm saying our eventualities our destiny is to before we ever get

home all the way to learn to do without doing and that includes relationships how is that done well I can't do it if I don't have an idea of who I am my being now that I get an idea of who I am I found out I have value now I won't do relationships so that I'm not alone I will practice being a person more of value if no relationship can step up and center into and resonate with me and self-worth that I won't do it oh then I'll find I'll just go without that's still a human who believes in fear and

separation you haven't practiced enough your value we know that because you keep doing get centered into who you really are forget about the absolute divine yet that'll happen for now how can I experience the divine here what is it what do you think it's gonna look like in your day to day relationships it's gonna be clumsy at times but in it's still destined you still have a light at the end of the tunnel that you walk towards you still say love and self-worth see if I fall I do is identify myself as single lonely do you

understand that's a creative consciousness you're going to come from and then you're going to get things related to that what why is it why is it that most women men too but why most women that have been abused as children why is it that the odds are their children being abused becomes greater that's not a great statistic why is that because humans get into a role a certain routine vibrationally they pass things down genetically they pass things down karmically and this thing's just then perpetuate

themselves somebody's got to break the cycle somebody's got to say I'm going to be the one in the family that's not an addict even if I am one I'm going to stop someone's got to be the one I'm gonna be the one that doesn't do gratuitous marriages I'm gonna be the one that says here's Who I am instead of what my parents want me to just be straight or their religion or their culture just stop what about me because if you're a loving person you would never you should not be raising a child to do everything

the way you do it I did this I'm look I'm a whatever carpenter you must be a carpenter I'm a this you must be that that's not how we should raise kids you have children you have two astrological charts done for them and you find out who they are and start helping to steer them in that direction what are they about you know what did they about we lost something once upon a time when we were a little closer to being some cultures they would ask what's happening in the moment to name a child look at

the the indigenous people Native Americans you know they would name based on the synchronicity of the moment there must be something relative the child now is born what's happening in the ethers there must be a synchronicity to that it makes sense and what we started doing well my father was Jim and now you're gonna be Jim because I was Jim and then you'll name your kid Jim make sure you have boys you know cuz girls named Jim it might not work well you know so there's all this strange strange tunnel everything one direction

what happened people forgot how to be connected with God and with themselves so they went out in a world trying to do something to compensate for that missing of being so if I name my kids after my father and of myself and lineage and all that they'll be proud of me great so you you're you're now accomplishing pride from them who are in the past instead of something sacred in the moment something's got to change how can I do things differently how can we learn to just be a bit more on this planet being

then some people that teach being they take it to an extreme and you can barely even hear them when they talk as just being what are you quite chain cane listen you know speak up I can't hear you if they have to whisper to show how much they're being I'm a spiritual teacher just be in the moment people just be in the moment let me tell you something they what they're doing after they receive money for the books they write they'd be up the bank cashing your checks so so this whole faked like being

it's all exaggerated be connected as much as you can to God in your real self but then let doing happen but not as separate doing doing you can have ideas all right yeah you see so it's like wow doing from being place how ask I mean honestly kind of like what would Jesus have me do as some people to say you know what is the most loving thing in this moment if I practice that I'm going to now be doing more from a being because being is love so when I sent her in and say what would you have me do including is this

the right person to date rather than loneliness tells me yes if you shouldn't be asking from loneliness know what you want loneliness to be your guide that can't go well that's like saying should I have another drink let me ask the last drink yeah the last drink says it's gonna be lonely if I don't have another one why would you ask an addiction for advice it's never gonna say you should starve us bless you so instead there's a quiet space inside of my heart not always easy to hear that

quiet space someone hands you divorce papers you're not like you know centered and angelic choirs her you know you're in pain so you know I'm not saying you should pretend you're not but you can say God is the strength with which I decide next what to do God is my source of what to do God be with me go ahead and own I'm scared I'm I'm actually quite angry this is oh my god bringing up betrayal it's okay on that that's what's happening what are you gonna do with it though let it now determine your day

that would be what most people do or bring it to the altar and say God man here's what I'm feeling not really great I got some expletives that I probably don't need to write down on that paper you know those those divorce papers because you probably know how I'm feeling go ahead get it all out but I am committed to filling something else somehow to fill your presence despite this situation and that's where a miracle descends into our consciousness if I'm not used to spotting a miracle I

may not see it a miracle could come in the form of a voice saying it's gonna be okay you know what I don't think it's gonna be okay do you think I'm gonna be able to hear a voice saying it's gonna be okay when I don't believe that I'm gonna be sort of blocking it out miracles are never absent they're only blocked from our consciousness and it isn't by God it's by ourselves the Bible tells us Jesus was crucified and at that moment when when they people even had to vote to

crucify him God put blinders upon the people so they could not see what they were doing to Jesus no he didn't it's just how they felt that was man writing it saying it wasn't my fault God put blinders on me so I would vote for Jesus to be crucified God didn't like oh listen folks I know it's not the right thing to do but blindness upon everybody and you know everybody just did evil after that that's mankind projecting but we do this in our relationships when you find somebody and they betray you they

abandon you they eat the parents grandparents all the people in our lives that can hurt us it's not nice that they're doing it it's not appropriate some of the things they do are not legal we get that however they're not in our lives by accident somehow our soul has determined that there's a relevance to the lessons whether it's betrayal abandon or whatever and I know that sounds really crazy considering some of the really crazy things people do but still somehow my soul saying that happened and it was somehow relevant

don't have to know how it was relevant all that I need to know is do I want something else do I want to grow up like them do I want to be like them do I want to act like them do I want a parent like them and make different choices when you do your breaking a karmic cycle that's been going on forever somebody's got to be able to break this and you know all too often people don't and if you look at quantum physics - all of this people don't realize like a Course in Miracles is saying you know that you have you

never really are using your consciousness the only time you can really use your consciousness because there's only God consciousness in reality is the only time you can reuse the real one is when you're using God consciousness which is love when you're not coming from love you're actually not doing anything but fabricating more of a fearful universe now in quantum physics it could say it the same way well there are these quantum waves and particles and those waves and particles are kind of just sitting around on Newt you know

in neutral on pause until someone shows up and uses them now in this universe it could use it for you know it says in the Bible you know that the Sun shines upon the good and the wicked equally it's so this quantum universe it in one respect it's going to respond to anybody who shows up with powerful focused mind but some people will tell you that means that's always good that you show up with a focused mind and you will Hitler had a focused mind he really did and he accomplished quite a bit good for you

know because when you're coming with a focused mind and getting the universe to give you power if you're not coming from love it's still an unreal power it's still part of this world so you can use all your I want to create a relationship it doesn't mean you're coming from a healthy place people will say I got it I learned this thing about how the mind works so now I'm going to powerfully create a partner you're still coming from all you did was go from desperately not knowing how to manifest someone to

desperately knowing how to manifest someone there's the next level which is not so desperate connected and it's just amazing because you just realize coming from a healthy place everything's okay when I was a kid in high school I played soccer and I was the only varsity player maybe in history that didn't want to be on varsity and they always found ways to force me out there and be in varsity and I was like I want to be in junior varsity and the coach who is it was a biker and he I just tasted his

lower jaw without hearing the others booed he looked like it was from ZZ Top so he'd go Miyoko good but out on the field coach I don't want to play mana let me Billie in the bar junior varsity game what are you talking about nobody wants a player doing reverse ready good out there you know so it didn't make sense to him why why because the junior varsity team they were all stoners and they didn't care about winning and I didn't want to have to win I wanted to play just wanted to hang out and play there was such

seriousness going into the varsity game you have to win you have to and then you have to go to little championships and like chill people when you know who you are it's kind of nice it's like that junior varsity good thing to me when you know you are you get to just relax what you don't have to win you realize playing is fun you realize who you date you can just come with a more full awareness of who you are you have to encourage your honesty in terms of your agreements with each other I mean there are people that I've walked

with this through and talked this through couples and here's what we're going to do it we agree one of them's gonna go off to Peace Corps in a year but we're gonna date until then you agree though that you're gonna date until then and you agree are you monogamous or not monogamous whatever your agreements are fine now but you do understand in one year it's supposed to end yes we totally get that one of them comes back for a session a year and one day later devastated that the other left and but

and it's okay to be devastated but you did know I don't mind you're devastated but you're gonna want me to join you in hating them for leaving that doesn't make sense keep your agreements take care of each other make as clear agreements as you can what is about is this about intimate friendship is is about about sworn monogamy or whatever it is then try to stick to those agreements once you make them there are people that that stick to or we're you know we're not wanting any children then somebody gets pregnant now

there's a fight about it if you had an agreement not to you might want to stick to that until you change the agreement I know it's not easy to navigate human relationships but somebody's got to bring more sanity in it because if you do you're creating a safe vessel people are afraid of intimate partnerships and and you know Stephen sorne friendships people are afraid of each other I've seen my parents do this or I've seen my brother do that right you know we've seen enough of this so even if you act

like or think you're not afraid of friendship partnership relations romance everybody's got a little bit of a history with that even past life so the main thing to bring us closer there's two things to help bring us closer a better relationship with God and with yourself but when it comes to the relationship with others it helps if I have a good relationship with God first a good one with myself second which means I know me I know what works for me and doesn't work for me and then when it comes to others communication agreements

clarity my relationship with others is made really is made safe if it's not safe guys you're not going to be able to do it it's a lie so you're really saying listen I'm gonna work on the one with God and myself but when it comes to you would you agree to help help me to create a safe vessel called a relationship oh I would love to great then we're going to communicate what do we agree is going to work for us and not work for us where are you coming from are you looking for a life mate because

I don't feel like that's me or I'm looking for one and it's not you let's find these things out somebody says I want to like me the other says no I'm not for me but let's go ahead and pretend that that's okay because at least I'll have someone in my life not good get it over with get everything out while you can what are you looking for the honesty creates a safe vessel and with a safe vessel thank God now I can step in to that and you know human beings are still going to trip up on each other

because it's this it's this human nature I want my relationships at work to be healthy and real and communicative and all that intimate you know in the sense that we're both real with each other into me see here's who I here's Who I am does this work for you tell me about yourself so we can decide intelligently what's gonna work in this relationship what are you looking for what are you about where have you been tell me if I won and I really want to know who you are I want to know what's

going on how you doing and some people are afraid to expose who they really are and others will manipulate who they really are because they're coming from a desperate place but if you're a healthy person you're going to know how to pace your relationships you're going to know how to give yourself time to get to know people at a more a full expansive level and some people say oh I tried that man that that's really bad news that doesn't sound really good so I would just say spend some more time healing there's a

pyramid of relationship remember that down here at the bottom rung is everybody meeting each other like acquaintances acquaintances but most people meet and try to go to the top of the pyramid and marry next hi nice to meet you or you might one-and-only what happened to what's your name you know let's go can we get to fill in the conversations a little who are you where have you been what are you about oh I don't like to talk about the past that wouldn't be someone I would want a relationship with no offense see I want

to know everything full disclosure if you feel like no way I'm not going to do that I would recommend some more relationship with you then healing taking some time to heal never bring to any of us that want to be healthy never bring half a person never bring half an awareness half of a commitment to God half of a disclosure half of a healed person be committed to everything good and healthy be able to say to somebody look you know I'm not claiming to be perfect but I can tell you this and this creates safety I can tell you this if

anything goes wrong in this relationship I can't promise you I won't ever be upset but I'm gonna promise you this I will do my best to go here first oh that's immediately better I mean that immediately soon as you say that okay so it's not gonna be one of those when does the other shoe drop and we have come to the attacks I can trust you're gonna go there first and you know what thanks for saying that cuz that reminds me I'm gonna go there first - let's have that commitment if I ever go nuts a little

bit and get too funky on you you can say it's can we take a moment to each look at this for a minute that would be a fair way to say let's take a minute and that's okay is that making sense a healthy relationship with God self and others and being able to bring the god self to others but with others comes a commitment to healthy communication now one last point for today in this context you know people assume because I have written books on intimacy written books on relationships partnerships and all this good stuff and

I'm into spirituality that sounds like a person can only have great relationships that's true and I do believe I've had great relationships thank God but it works it's because of the work I do that makes them good relations does it mean they don't end not at all have I never been heartbroken no I didn't really appreciate getting divorced the first time you know my my marriage I didn't dig that at all it was heartbreaking heart-wrenching it was mind-boggling didn't expect it didn't want that it was

nowhere in the radar for me that I wanted to do something like that so it was very painful but the pain wasn't even as much it happening as that I didn't want it to happen it happening helped me see why I didn't want such a thing to happen failure family children it was everything except honesty here so it really helped me sit and go wow I actually got it I actually in one painful moment it just all came to me I actually got it and it wasn't stellar perfect all the time after that but it was mostly repaired after that

and the word had to do with responsibility what I you know I got married when I was a kid and I wanted to needed certain things and that doesn't happen people go to relationships not realizing they're usually there to hide they're usually there to kind of mask things over because that's what we think is going to happen you know things were kind of messed up in my house and now I'm married it's not gonna ever happen here next thing you know there it is so it's like rude awakening but when you see it

it does become a little more laughter than tears after that so it becomes these awkward kinds of things in life but I honestly can say that that you learn to assemble your relationships because they become who you are take this that you like and this you liked and this you liked into you and become the relationship the greatest hits of your relationships what about the negative ones Michael same thing I'm going to still bring what I learned from that negative one here it can still become a building block for me let's say

I had a relationship that wouldn't communicate I don't go okay I'm gonna accept bad communication no I'm just now clear that I am into communication see how I made that into something good for me I'm clear that's what I want I could meet somebody in that doesn't matter what they look like it doesn't matter if it was a perfect astrological alignment and the thing astrology said you're gonna meet somebody look like this today it doesn't matter how perfect it sets up you don't want to communicate I'm done

or you want to do this and that undone there's certain things that work for me on certain things that don't and I'm saying for me I'm not saying this is the relationship you must have other than healthiness I'm saying spot the positives the healthy things and bring them to yourself and create relationships that resonate with that and if you don't that would have been you that didn't do that right do you see what I just said if you're going to step into looking for a great healthy

relationship you better know what you are in terms of relationship what are you about I don't know there you go pretty much anybody you'll do now you might want to get a closer fix on who what you're about so sit with your friends today and say so-so and just just for the heck of it someone you you know you can channel a little bit like this even when we sit at the cafe for lunch today go ahead and say okay so what let's let's all ask each other what and you know just in short like a one-minute answer what

would you be looking for now in relationship what are you about even if you're in one well for me don't say Michel said here you well I I definitely want clear communication I would like there to be monogamy if that's something you want to see I would like there to be trust oh I love trust then throw that in there but everything you're gonna want instead of what would you like to see in someone I'm asking you to say what would you like to be if you can say I want to be that and start choosing to be that that

is going to be more what you're going to start to create and in my friendships and and intimate friendships - that's I'm very grateful even though some you know they don't last forever some last 10 years or five years or where I'm still grateful that I was able to say here's what I'm about step into it people were able to say we would like to meet you there meet me in that space of trust love honesty whatever it happens to be hard work even because you know we do the work that I do it in teaching there's all that kind

of blend of all that great stuff then there's still those moments where something doesn't work or somebody you know runs off to have a child and it can't work anymore whatever it happens to be changes happened I'm able to instead say oh my god I thought we had built perfect forever relationships instead what good what positive and we're all going to be tempted to think we failed if something comes to an end on planet Earth beware that which means be aware beware that temptation and say instead have you

assembled a healthier life yes can you continue to maintain that life yes will you continue to also insist that other people meeting you in that relationship or in a form of relationship meet you somewhat at that level and you also have to encounter you know integrate what they're looking for can you do that and that's all you could that's the best you can do on planet earth take care of things logistically and and heartfelt ly in your life but also don't forget the spiritual component when you meet

someone God is always saying I am affirming that you can have a chat here for a holy relationship you're going to like them you're going to not like them and in heaven we don't care either way because either one can be brought to holiness how by simply saying hey God guess what I'm starting a new relationship today it's kind of funny because I think this one looks pretty promising but I know it's only a matter of time that we start getting triggered by each other so I'm going to just ask

in advance for you to help us create a holy relationship out of this one don't think you only turn them over when they go bad you know hurtfully surrender every relationship I don't have to surrender my dog because I love my dog and my dog loves me we don't need any healing yes you do because if it dies you're gonna be sad surrender even the dog to God this is another thing that I'm giving to you God show me how to love it more unconditionally how do I know I love it conditionally because if

it were to die I'd be sad you're allowed to be sad but devastated nothing should devastate you because nothing can devastate you your God so how can I learn to love this animal the way God God doesn't look upon the earth and ever see an animal fail to live all of a sudden and then be devastated we would have a majorly bipolar God in charge of everything I'm up I'm down you know like a stock market God except based on life and death it doesn't work that way I don't know where I get these ideas but

so in closing I learned early on assemble healthiness don't go get it from people become it how do you become it assemble it is one practical terminology assemble healthiness so after divorce you know around 1990 I spent several years kind of not really doing anything but but I did try out relationships eventually and I've never actually been on a date in my life never actually been on a date even in high school you know there's no such thing like I never went on a date never picked somebody up took him somewhere I would

meet somebody somewhere but it didn't you know my life and my brain wasn't gonna work that way to actually go on a date to go on a date would have met maybe I would pick them up in a car what car well I can't have my parents car never could predict what mood they were gonna be in so if they saw that I looked happy because I was gonna use the car to go out on a date they would make sure pull the car to make me unhappy so it was not so good for me to be able to feel confident to go on dates officially

so never did that and then even all these years later I never did an actual date kind of a thing but but I never felt like I needed to never had a desire to do something like that if I met somebody and it was convenient then we're talking and we can have a relationship of some kind but never you know dated or originally but here's what's kind of weird or if as though that wasn't a few years after divorce I was like well so maybe maybe I'm gonna you know try this out and see somebody or something I don't know how I don't

know where you know it's kind of foreign so I tried out a few things and and there were there were a couple of friends I had and they said well you know here's what you can do go to a singles dance I'm like that sounds like a no-brainer everybody's single so you can dance with people and you just kind of have fun so let it go to a singles dance and by the way when I actually met the woman I married again we didn't date but the only time when we first got together decided to go out it was my friends in

one car pulling up to get a couple of people her and her friend into the car so we're all kind of going together I got out of the car because there was no more room and got in the trunk yeah this is Michael and she actually turned to her friend and said that's the guy you want to introduce me to swear to god it's her to God and that's the person I married you know but our first supposed a date I'm in the trunk so hey that wasn't the weirdest thing that ever happened either but so a few years after divorce I'm

like well so you know okay there's no trunk stick to get in anymore so I gotta actually come out and be you know so I go to this place where there's music and dance we're gonna go Singles Club now I thought look this is a no-brainer this is those things people talk about singles you know Here I am like in my early 30s and we're gonna try this out I get there and I'm kind of like there's some weird vibe in the room and it's just something's odd not bad just a something's off something's

different so and okay so I'm looking at do you ask somebody to dance you know how's this kind of like done you know looking around and then I started going there's something this is a gay singles this was a gay singles dance and I'm like oh my god you know okay fine fine I told him this person just don't ask me to go hanging out with you anymore you know like you got to know where we're going before you ask me to go somewhere couple weeks later another singles dance I'm like no no no seriously this is this

is a singles dance for everybody okay fine so I go I get there before them about ten minutes before them and I'm you know looking inside and I'm like wow you know and a woman comes up to me and says so are you you coming into the dance I said you know I kind of thought this was weird I go well in a little bit she goes inside and I'm waiting and then it caught on my friend shows up hey man you going in I go yeah I was waiting for you you're ready to go in I go yeah but look around first it's a senior's singles dance

I was 30-something early thirties this is a senior's single stance I could go on and on telling you seriously the next one I went to I kept I show up and people and the woman who came up to me hi honey you coming into dance that's what she asked the one that the seniors dance you know but the next one I went to people kept asking me one particular question and I thought why is everybody asking me this because it was a Jewish singles and they kept going I didn't know you were Jewish and I'm like these are weird

questions that people are asking me I'm not Jewish they're going oh and I'm thinking this so this is the luck I have now now in all of this it's funny it's kind of frustrating too at the time it's like you think you know well I've tried you know online dating or I I had weird experiences however when we meet somebody or even don't meet somebody like this why was all that happening do you know God was saying no no why was it happening why was every attempt blocked that's something as simple as dating God

just doesn't want me to have a partnership that's how some people think it's not meant to be they my friends miscommunicated they should have been more responsible to make sure it wasn't a senior senior singles Jewish kind of a dance gay dance at that you know all these things that weren't quite what we were looking for what's happening is guys in your life the people out here the world out here is mirroring our own conflict there was a part of me that didn't want to go out and meet somebody

there was a part of me that was still being faithful to my ex honestly there was a part of me that didn't know how to meet people when I have children to raise I was a little conflicted about that do you follow what I'm saying there's no good or bad it was me that's all and it was even kind of funny because that's me it's funny for me to be in the lobby of hotel watching all these seniors walk in who trying to hook me up and bring me in I think that was pretty funny it was a little frustrating

because I was actually part of me wanting to meet somebody but when you say I want to be with somebody Michael Michael I want to have a partner Michael I want to have a life mate remember the words part of me once dot dot dot now what's the rest of the sentence and part of me does not want dot how do we know which one's the strongest whichever ones happening and I didn't even blame anybody else in that oh my goodness you know I tried five different people online dating and it's not working I am sorry that it's not

working and I'm sorry that you're hurting you know I can hold you for a minute or we can talk about it fine but do you see what's really happening part of you wants this and part of you doesn't how do you know because the conflict outside is showing the conflict inside I'm not saying you're bad I'm just saying the world is a mirror so that helped me look at it and realize it you know and and there's a pivotal moment as soon as you realize this is true the world is mirroring it actually

plants you into a place of power because you realize my not dating is actually partly my choice here really it's all my choice but I'll be nice and say it's really partly up to my consciousness guys and it shifts everything for you then you realize I'm I'm responsible here I'm in charge and the closing comment would just be and the pivotal moment I had I just shared with somebody recently but when I did go out and try to listen to music at this place across street from my office and I did go over

and listen to music I dug that listening music it was the first time I went the next day my ex talked to her and she said would you do last night he said I went to a nightclub she's like you you're kidding like I never go anywhere no no she ended in never a date like I said so it's not me she goes you went to a nightclub are you kidding I said no no I did she goes did you dance with anybody I went and this is me my you know and the naive I like nobody asked me how was all nobody has to me you know it hadn't

occurred to me yet I could ask but nobody asked me and she and she said well they will when you want them to and when she said that honest-to-god something switched and I went and in that moment I knew I could go anywhere and meet someone if that's what I wanted which means any of us can do anything at any time I know that part of you is feeling alone and wants to meet somebody but I'm telling you there's another part that's not quite there yet why could be self-sabotage from romance that's a sad

sad thing better wanna you know maybe want to heal that but it could also be a part of you saying we're not there yet I wouldn't hate myself for it and I wouldn't beat myself up for it I would just own that it's a possibility because when I am ready just hold remember to hold the proverbial button in your hand if you want to create a partner right now or a new relationship or whatever it is you can push a button right now we'll just call it the Go button and relationships gonna manifest within 24 hours I'm only

gonna ask you are you ready for what's going to show up when you push the button because it's going to be relative and and related to your consciousness have you really healed enough of everything that you could say it won't show up in the person showing up well I'm just gonna hope it won't now that doesn't work have you done all your work now you're gonna go never mind put the button down back away from the button do not push the partnership button that's all you have to do it doesn't mean

you'll never push the button and create it doesn't mean you don't have to right the power to it means can you just be responsible enough to say give me a minute I'm gonna look here a bit more have a relationship with God have a relationship with yourself and when you do interact with others make it honest clear communicative keep your agreements with each other as much as possible but when you slip and don't apologize and take responsibility oops I know I said I would like to commit for a year and it's only been six

months but I feel like it's done whatever the decision if it changes just be honest and responsible for it you know what we sometimes do we find things we don't like about other people to have a reason to dump them so that we're clearer in our conscience you're just trying to avoid responsibility you change the rules that's all I decided it's it's not working for me and then just be honest about that you know you can say I'm sorry how can I make amends but be honest about it because you're gonna

save everybody a lot of time in grief everybody step up and create a more sacred relationship even my relationship with you try to be as transparent and as clear and honest as possible I told you folks from the first day I showed up this is what I'm into what I'm not into here's what I'm open to what I'm not we're gonna teach at a certain level we're not gonna sit around and keep everything the same we're gonna create a labyrinth and do something cool things you guys open it means that what you

want to do if that's what you want to do then we're gonna do it if that's what the majority votes then that's what we're gonna do and we stuck to that agreement at at any time if once somebody wants to change their relationship and say we now no longer want a service that goes too you know too deep into stuff let's just do really kind of simpler stuff then that's what I would do or I would leave but I wouldn't do what I say I'm not going to do or vice versa and do it but grudgingly just

honest and clear that's why I check in with you guys once in a while hey are you guys okay with what we've been doing do you want me to keep things a little simple you say no find out what you're going into so you can be responsible for when it shows up agreed okay please take a few centering breaths setting aside all the stuff of the world all the stuff of all the stuff of life as always with each exhale just imagining tensions thoughts and such just falling away and it doesn't matter where we are in

our past present or future with relationships especially partnerships romantic relations intimacy and so on we set all that aside for a moment and we choose to go within ourselves a nice quiet place in our hearts not a place of external design wishing for something to be a certain way but just in our own hearts for a second now as we sent her in and become aware of ourselves we then start to imagine if I could snap a finger and manifest the

most perfect intimate partnership imaginable even if I already have one to imagine it even better somehow what might that look like for you it might be more happiness less illness it might be more smiles more laughter a greater ease openness trust intimacy and so on just imagine what that would look like and then for a moment allow this to be spontaneous for a moment let's ask that

divine mother our guide the Holy Spirit to help us see honestly anything in our lives that we've seen anywhere movie partnerships parenting anywhere we've ever seen something to the contrary what is it that we've ever seen experienced that taught us the opposite of that thing we would like to experience in our lives the ideal image where did we learn to be shy shy away from the honesty or the truth where did we learn to be a little apprehensive or pulling away distanced be honest and look through your life all

the many stories patterns addictions abuses that brought us to be something other than we'd like to see ideally in our lives and we would like to take a moment to heal those memories and those experiences but before we do take just a moment and ask yourself this just hypothetically if there were any way possible that the previous the previous negative experiences if there were any way possible that it was convenient for you that it represented something in you take a moment to see what that was how might it have represented you your

apprehension your inhibited nasir own fears take a look just be honest about it [Music] like I described these weird experiences in my life were mirroring my own apprehension there was nobody to blame I recognized very easily my inhibited nough surround you know wanting to be faithful to my ex or a little inhibited cuz I had children just it's me I can see that can you see any role your insight might have been playing in having anyone or thing outside create a block to your greater relationship if you see any amount of that then hear

these words like they're coming from your own soul first of all I recognize that there's any amount of inhibition at all in my relationship partnership even my friendships I'm not minimizing that or denying it it's yeah I get it there's some block even to my finances there's some blocks fine but I accept that it's deeper than that it's not just blocked by fate it's not an accident it's not God's will no it's about the past and unhealed wounds and even the past and

unhealed wounds somehow symbolized my own beliefs my own stuff my own inhibitions my lack of self-worth tendency toward self-sabotage whatever it happens to be no matter what you're hearing today it's somehow relevant to you you're needing to hear this so do your best to soak it in and I get all that and I'm choosing to give this all to you father mother God I'm choosing to give you every inhibition to trust that I may have that doesn't mean I just jump into the world and cause myself to get

hurt I let go of every fear and inhibition rooted in my past and they're all rooted in my past it doesn't mean I'm lending my selves towards harm because you'll guide me father mother God as I surrender to you I'm guided where to go what to do what to say what to not do what not to say I can live in this growing in my consciousness everyday growing and growing you show me I'm giving all this to you all of the memories and the people that added up into a wall to keep me distanced from

people not today I allow the wall to effortlessly dissolve and I step beyond it into a world where there's billions of souls a countless number of soul sparks of God and I see them all I see them all in the sky I see them all through the sky every star as a person a soul with no history no wounding no inhibitions I love you all I love you I get it I love you all my love for you is so great I start to shine brightly as a star in this dark space called the universe I shine so brightly there's no darkness

that remains the entire universe my light shines into your light and ignites every star into being even a greater star till the Stars all feel so good they sing in harmony with one another oneness one universal song one song and we burned so brightly that everything turns to light and imagine an infinite amount of light an infinite amount of light and then where is that infinite perfect light picture at the centre of your mind and let it shine more brightly all through your body very slowly through

every cell every organ every gland every system and become that light even while on earth beautiful be that light now when you go to your partner if you have one do your best to be this light and communicate like you're this light if you don't have a partner picture yourself bright shining so brightly that it attracts other bright stars other healthy people people that aren't so healthy just shine your light you don't have to marry them to shine your light just be that presence for them don't evaluate don't

judge that there this or that just shine brightly but people that feel like they resonate to that brightness and rather than getting repelled by it dance with them dance with them be with them be friends with them being part of a board with them be part of a committee with them be a part of a friendship group a hiking group a study group light attracting light goodness attracting goodness gradually come back to the room slowly and gradually and as you're integrating into your body have an attitude of I can

do this I am so complete I look forward to meeting other complete people it feels so good to be in this realness I have nothing to go to do nothing to have to seek and stretch out when you're ready