Intimacy While Being Fully Present

hello and good afternoon or good evening to you all this is our friday night spiritual insights presentation and my name is michael mirdad so thanks for being with us so today i want to talk about intimacy while remaining fully present now to some people it might sound like well wouldn't you well no not necessarily it's sad but it's true but most people never know what it's like to fully be present while being intimate some people rare but some people tell me no i i've had that experience or i have

that experience god bless them that's just beautiful but most people most huge proportion mind you meaning 90 something percent of the human beings on this planet will live and die and never know what it's like to be fully present while being intimate they might know how to be intimate they might know how to enjoy intimacy and i don't just mean sexuality i mean even just engaging snuggling presence talking but but yes also sexually most people will not know what it is to be fully present and it's like really you know so

many clients of mine have said you know michael i've never even been sober once when i was sexual with a person like wow like not once no not once i've had others say well it's not that extreme for me but i've had to definitely have a little bit of a buzz first um guys then why are you being intimate if intimacy means into me see why are you revealing your soul to somebody that you don't want to see you the whole ritual i would call it of on disrobing undressing getting naked with somebody is has

always been a metaphor of let me lift the veil and show you me show you my being this person that is me and when a person only sees the flesh that's the depth of the relationship it's just 3d but when a person chooses to feel a love and respect beyond the content the physical the physical part then you're going into other dimensional experiences it's it's so multi-dimensional so multi-orgasmic in a spiritual energetic sense it's not always the physical complies with that but you just feel

something profound in fact you could say it's an orgasm of love and not just an orgasm of physiology or anatomy so i would just say instead of leaving this earth plane at the end of your life you know with this being an unfulfilled dream the dream being wouldn't it be nice to to experience a fully present intimacy that would be you know that would be my goal if i were you um you know just just but just do it now don't wait don't say well now i'm 90 it can't be don't believe in any of that garbage

well i've been wounded i've been betrayed don't buy into that it's not who you are it happened so now find a way to to do this if you can't create it with a person create it with yourself if you can't create it on the outside created just on the inside because that's the main priority anyway if you can't create it with a partner create it with a friend you know someone you can trust because i'm not talking about just like sex i'm talking about just ask someone you can trust to hold

you and just make the rules okay i would love it if someone would just only hold me and just maybe like almost sit in a state of prayer or meditation maybe slight rocking i don't know whatever works but just ask that person can you can you sit and hold me you'd be surprised gals you'd be surprised if you know any men that are gay how safe that might feel for you just just ask them would you would you be my my spiritual my elder brother for a moment just hold me and some i mean don't get one that's like don't

a man or woman or gay or straight that's that's completely messed up you know don't get somebody who's completely unhealthy you want somebody who has a clean energy for sure whether they're gay or straight clean energy whether they're male or female that clean energy is important so that you don't have to think about oh man i can smell alcohol on them or you know they're too this or they're too that i want to just be with somebody i can just let go and it might just be holding i

mean just forgive me but i'm going to just get vivid and real graphic here they take a blanket you sit on it on their lap and they wrap you in that blanket almost like you're an infant or a beautiful child and they just hold you even as i'm describing it right now try to imagine allowing this conversation to be like a blanket just holding you it can be done absolutely and all of us we all make mistakes in this life and in this world but it doesn't mean that we because some of us even if we're

just so so healthy wise what you're looking for is someone who can set all that aside and hold space okay that's what you're looking for not somebody who's perfect but somebody who knows how to hold perfection for your sake and it's also for them they may not realize it yet but it's also for them find someone you can trust if you can't create it with one gender gender try it with another gender the goal is not about having sex it's to be fully intimate but let me add you can't be

fully intimate without being fully present and to be fully present you have to feel safe and loved it's that simple you can't you can't just well okay i'm gonna i'm gonna be present you know and act like it's just simply some mantra and you just do it if i don't feel safe if i don't feel a sense of love safety then you can you can surround us with crystals paint the room pink you know you can golden light you can do mantras if i don't feel safe it's not happening you cannot be in that

state of presence present moment fully present if you don't feel safe so i'm sorry it might take you a little work maybe to find somebody who could be fully safe you know to just hold space many of you know about this video we were just talking about this somewhat recently in our we have a daily eden shire live on zoom program everybody's welcome to get on it it's uh several hours a day free most days of the week and um you know you can listen to learn about herbology lymphatic massage self-help addiction you know improving

issues with addiction all kinds of topics and it's been free and we've done it all year in the year 2020 because you might be watching this 2084 or for all i know um but um you know we've we've discussed some of these topics there so i'll come back to that in just a second but there are things we've talked about recently that i'll i'll just address here one of them um and then i might come back to some more examples but one of them is that when i there was a there was a a study sort of a film and an

educational program being created around healing sexual uh it couples healing sexual issues so they hired some some standard couples and some porn couples because they would not have as much issue um being nude or being sexual or whatever that kind of thing so they wanted to work with all kinds of couples some of them being porn stars um to talk about the challenges in their relationships and then how to sort of heal that and take that to another level so of the several couples whatever it was uh let's say 10

um they were have gonna have each facilitator like well known throughout the world healers and so forth um like myself work with a couple and then pretty soon i had two they gave me two couples then three and i i probably ended up with working working with uh maybe five out of the ten because of the success level and for and for other reasons you know that just seemed right for them to ask me anyway long story short they brought me one couple and um the guy in the couple they sat down and they were kind of doing the uh you know the porn industry

you know yeah we've been in this for a while and then i mean it just took me minutes honestly minutes to just go right to so how long have you been doing this okay um what got you into this work and then i asked you know about have you had sexual trauma just curiosity because i can pick that stuff up and uh you know instead of just talking about intimacy and sexuality by the way have you had sexual trauma yeah you know and the guy starts talking about it really really sad harsh stuff happened to this guy now this guy an african-american guy

he's about six four i think six five and um he's very much into working out he's got the muscle to build and all that and even though he started off i'm really cool uh you know i'm a really cool guy man i'm tough i'm a bodybuilder you know i just i just did what i do which is i zeroed in and go for what i see happening and i had him do a little exercise with me i'm just holding my hand and um took him back to some of that not a hypnotherapy just tracking and some things i do but to go

from this guy who was somewhat intimidating in a way i mean first of all he's a giant guy second of all he comes for comes from the porn industry third he doesn't know these dude there to do this he's there to talk about sex he's there to talk yeah man i'm not cool i'm in porn so i can tell you all about sex and this guy broke down i won't go and you know be laboring this point because several of you have seen this video out there but he broke down and i held this guy um there was no way this guy had he not

felt a complete sense of love and safety yet from this long-haired white guy you know with an earring and you know that kind of thing i mean this long-haired white guy who who wears these blousey shirts and he doesn't know me from adam and he just collapsed into me minutes into our conversation my only point is not just to tell that story again my point is that could not have happened that guy was not paid to do that it was not staged and this guy there were moments when it reached a point of almost the wailing

wow you know like i know some of you saw but what what an honor what a what a thing and just to keep it in today's context it's it's all about love and safety i felt absolute love for the guy i felt absolute you know i'm here holding safety respect for you hey brother whatever you've gone through i swear it's okay and just here it comes so you can make an agreement with yourself or others to experience full and complete intimacy you know which means experience a full and complete state of what i'm

describing love and respect full and complete there can't be agendas and fantasies and all that we're talking about intimacy while being fully present so it has to be done with a sense of beauty sense of safety it takes a bit of discipline too because you might be with your own partner doing this of course but you know to accomplish true intimacy um guys the the mind can't wander you can't be like let's say sexual with your partner or friend or whatever you're sharing with but you can't you

can't share and call it intimacy which another breakdown of that word into intimate end time mate someone i'm choosing to be a mate a friend to in time while we're here on earth let's you and i share something and you can't say that you're doing that if while you're having sex you're like can't wait till i get there can't wait till i achieve that can't wait to get them to achieve that can't wait till whatever fantasizing about other people none of that is being fully present

so the mind can't wander the heart and mind must not wander you can't wander into fear can't wander into obsessions or thinking about other people you can't even wander into i think i'm falling in love what's happening right now not will i fall in love down the road it's what's happening right now just just like wow you know and when i say not falling in love i'm talking about from the human perspective we don't need that i'm already in a state of love why do i need to fall

emphasis on the word fall why do i need to fall in love i'm already in a state of love not pitter-patter in love but a state of love think about it think about it please being fully present intimacy while being fully present it's not a just a dream it's not a just a fantasy it's a reality but people aren't choosing it why don't they choose it well because they settle sometimes because they're hiding from the very thing we're talking about well i don't want to be too too intimate you know i've had many a

client say that oh yeah i was sexual with this person well what kind of things did you do because i'll ask everything what kind of things did you do well i did this did you do that oh no no way why i've talked to to escort girls you know um and and they tell me things like you know i'll have sex i'll do this and that for guys you know from pay and all that and we talk about their work and we talk about what i can do to help them in terms of healing or changing their lives tyler if that's what they want to

do but time and again they've told me oh but no kissing what you're going to do everything to this guy but yes yeah because that's you know personal i mean it sounds crazy but no it's their reality i'm saving a part because this thing that i'm doing porn industry escorts etc what i'm doing is staged you know it's staged it's not real so therefore i will not do certain things just like it's you know all the passionate love scenes you see um on screens and normal you know standard movies

people are like ooh they're not really having sex almost ever has that happened they're not really having sex but people like so steamy it's just staged one of the most steamy love scenes i'm not gonna name what movie or or who they are and all that but one of the steamiest love scenes that people talked about constantly when the movie came out don't even bother you know worry about uh trying to guess what it is not important but this couple people talked about wow later on after the movie was

released short time after the one of the the actor the mail that was interviewed he said oh that was actually how much i hated the actress we disliked each other so much that we just you know got real passionate but it was actually anger and i'm like yeah this was i think in the 80s 70s i think 70s actually but i'm like exactly people do not realize how similar anger is to passion anger is to orgasm they're having angry orgasms angry passion and they go but that still was pretty pleasurable so must be normal

no it isn't you can have love and safe based safety based pleasure passion orgasm it's just that people aren't used to it and it's not taught in the world anything that seems to be taught remotely related to safe sex means wearing condoms you know safe sex means missionary position only safe sex means everything's just very standardized no it can be passionate just be fully present well so what do you do guys if you have a partner in you know and they've been having sex for 30 years and

when you're gonna bring up that conversation so you know as you're having your potatoes or whatever people eat you know peas and things you know so you know cutting in so i was wondering what do you think about being fully present from now on when we're having sex you know i good luck i you know wow that would seem kind of awkward for a lot of people sometimes the other partner is just immediately gonna go what are you saying you know is it you're not enjoying it you know they're gonna get all weird

about it so good luck well my best advice i can give you in such circumstances is instead of it being a corrective thing um you could always be very stealthy and tactful and bring it up when the topic is kind of relevant do you want to try things do you want to do that you know you know i'd like to do that then you bring it up but when that's not the case then what you can do is make it more of a sensual sexy talk with each other you know like wow you know last time we were together that was really wonderful may even if you

have to exaggerate i don't want you to lie but i would encourage you to to exaggerate some of the pieces so that you bridge with the person and so you can say things like yeah that was really amazing you know i would like to try something you know don't act like you heard it here just say you know like it's your own idea i would like to try something well what i i would like to try like slowing down and like really i just i really want to like look in your eyes i really want to feel you uh when we're together like you know or

when we watch a movie can i just snuggle in you know now if partner rolls their eyes or acts weird about it you're going to be tempted to feel hurt or ashamed for asking it's going to be normal to feel that way but if i were you i would probably only allow that so many times before i say to myself i'm moving into a higher lifestyle and this no longer fits that so i have to go maybe alone rather than being humiliated every time you ask for a deeper experience a more present experience when people having taught uh sacred sexuality for so

many years um probably more years than almost almost all teachers on the topic and tantra and those kinds of things um i developed what's called middle path tantra because there's what they call left hand and right hand path tantra one is very religious like the dalai lama because he's a technically a tantric buddhist and then the other extreme is very sexual um so i developed what i call middle path tetra of course that's me you know it makes total sense middle path so that it's a spiritual experience and

essential experience at the same time so i you know in that kind of work um i've i've been asked often interviews that i've done in different programs and conferences and telesummits you know so what's going on with that and what do you get you know what how could you summarize your work what is middle path tantra whatever the angle of the question is i often summarize and say there needs to be certainly a sense of love and respect for the person on the inside but in terms of actions because they'll say well so

what do you do and how do you do it do you you know do you do energetic things and you know they wanted all the external stimulus stuff i i typically don't give away that stuff to people that can't be trusted you know you have to kind of earn that information because it's not i don't want it being taught as a technique i want it being earned as a consciousness but my point is on the x on the external side of things i tell them yeah what's the secret michael do you do this do you how do you teach this do you teach that

the secret slow down and they're all like well that doesn't sound very sexy that doesn't sound very cool exactly that's why i teach mental path and you don't you know you don't get it you want stimulus so go to you know the one extreme but guys be learn please intimacy being fully present you're never intimate really without being fully present so it's almost redundant to say intimacy you know being fully present but i'm saying that to just emphasize a point be fully present be be safe be in a

state of love respect and slow down on the extra external side you know outside world slow down it doesn't mean you can't be passionate at times and do different things do it all whatever but never lose connection with your lover or the person you're holding even if it's just a friend think about us being in this experience think about them absolutely think about both us yes absolutely think about yourself only no being fully present is about you yourself but it also means i'm present with the

experience so if all i'm doing is thinking about like ego based needs and i'm not present i need to find myself get myself centered so it does involve me in the spiritual sense not in the ego sense then i'm also wanting to know how we're doing and i'm wanting to know how you're doing so the the three rel people in the relationship you me and us and i want all of them in good harmony with one another i don't want any of them slipping out of the dow out of the zen of it out of the the grace of it you know i want to be

really present now the more action you have speed you have the less you can hold that presence so instead slow down what is this person feeling how are you doing you know when when caring about how the other person feels is an inconvenience to your stimulation then you're an egotist that's all you're just ego centered which is doesn't mean you're a horrible person it's just very typical human behavior but this conversation isn't about how to just be a typical human being why would i be doing a talk on that

everybody seems to have done pretty well figuring that one out that's all they do is nothingness humanness which is nothingness to rise to become spirit beings true gods and goddesses that kind of behavior is not at all becoming to a god goddess so i'd have to say stay present slow down how to stay present you gotta feel safe okay so whatever you do be safe feel feel loved and respected um and a good test of that is connect you know connect eye to eye care about each other even if you're friends you can still

love people and care you can have a person literally you're one and only time you're intimate with them and you can choose to be fully present i just wouldn't use that line on people i'm just saying it's possible that doesn't mean well you know this guy said a one-night stand can be fully present would you like to be fully present with me tonight you know come on um you know that's the kind of pickup line you expect in places like you know uh sedona you know or so little new age kinds of towns um

yeah but just no just no no no way don't buy into it just uh no no i get it michael was saying god tells me spirit guides me whatever word you could say to yourself don't preach it to others but to yourself or that it just makes sense to me that there needs to be a sense of love and safety that's not there there is no intimacy so if all you want to do is chat or have sex or watch movies do what you want to do that's great never call it intimacy if there's no sense of into me see end time mates

friends sharing present moment time together so if you do manifest it god bless you if you don't god bless you but if you do manifest it it's just you know congratulations and you can manifest it even right here in this conversation if you just just slow yourself down and listen and let's have an intimate conversation now you just achieved perhaps your first intimate experience don't personalize it i'm not interested because that's not true intimacy take it in accept it for yourself just own it and

and give thanks give yourself credit you manifested it but if you're going to share it with someone else congrats i pray that you choose it wisely let it be very clear the rules such as i only want this and not that what if you decide to want more no i might start getting turned on and want more but please help me with that and keep me just one thing at a time in this exercise maybe later we might look at more but i want to know that i can do just this and not have other things leaking into the situation and sort of distracting because then i

will lose the opportunity of intimacy and i will then shame myself okay and then it could be years or lifetimes before you would try it again so you know i pray that this works for your mind your consciousness i pray i know that if you apply it it will make a difference i've done enough work with enough people over lifetimes and in this lifetime so many years thousands and thousands and thousands of sessions i've done in my life and um it's just such an honor to work with people at such a level but

i really believe we can and really need to learn to be safe for people and we all make mistakes bounce back and be safer next time around just really learn to hold love and presence for people all what the world needs now is love sweet love and so try to be that love all right god bless many thanks for your joining us these programs almost everything i do five days a week free programs eden shire four days the friday nights it's all free sunday what i do is free um i charge for classes once in a while on wednesday nights and

uh sometimes on saturdays you know so it's it's very rare but i uh i appreciate because your donations really help make the difference and you know provide what we need to keep going so if you feel inspired to to support with a donation god bless we really we really appreciate you and you're held in our prayers all right peace be with you all many blessings and may you find intimacy and being fully present bye-bye