Intimacy and Self Worth

hello everyone we're doing our friday night spiritual insights presentation friday night spiritual insights with michael murdoch today i want to talk about something that we've shared a couple of times recently on the topic of intimacy but i just felt compelled today to do just do a little bit more on that and there's a playlist along these lines on on our uh you know youtube channel so what i want to share today though we've talked about intimacy and relationships and so on today it's just there's a little slant i want

to approach here and if you're looking for like you hear i'm going to talk about intimacy and you think wow i want to you know the positives of intimacy great but there's also challenges around intimacy that people have to get their mind wrapped around it's you know because it's just beautiful um to understand the the full gamut of true intimacy intimacy meaning into me see intimacy is about vulnerability it's about being truly open people love the idea of being intimate which to me means an

end time mate a person who i'm choosing to share some time with i don't care if it's 10 minutes or 10 hours or 10 lifetimes it's i'm still choosing to spend some time with you now that doesn't assure people are really in their spiritual brilliance when they are sharing time but then it's not truly intimate that's usury or self-abuse or abuse to others that's not intimacy i don't care what anybody tells you if it's not feeling loving and safe there's nothing intimate about it

there's no end time mate it's instead someone using someone because an in-time mate means we're in this together and it doesn't just mean partnerships and romance it doesn't just mean opposite genders it means any two people that are choosing it's almost like a soul mate concept anytime someone's choosing to share with someone you don't have to even have two people verbally agreeing you know because some of you i know have partners that wouldn't understand or don't understand when you

talk about these kinds of things and you say honey i'd like to share some really deep you know intimacy if you don't have someone that can do that i suggest you consider altering that relationship but what i'm saying in this part is that if i have someone that doesn't really know how to go to that place or understand what i'm saying i can still choose to be end time mates with you i can still choose to to feel loving and safe having respect with you for you that it becomes a joint and holy experience

even if i don't have the other person's approval even though some people misunderstand that they misinterpret such as teachings as a course in miracles they'll say well the course says you have to have two people in agreement those teachers that say that don't actually understand a course in miracles in fact they're missing a primary piece of the foundation of the course because as soon as you think you literally have to have another person in agreement to have a holy relationship you you missed one of the foundational

pieces of the course which is really sad because then you don't really understand the course the course would never tell you to be dependent on anyone or anything outside of you it now it really is not trying to speak a course in miracles on a literal basis at the end of the day it's always about the the spirit not matter it's always about the symbolic not the literal but that's another topic so we won't go there right now so you know so again i've done i've done these other topics or you know intimacy

other talks so check them out if you don't mind uh it'll just help fill in the pieces a little bit here so um one thing i want to share for now is at the root at the root of every ability we have you know like like we can we can experience true intimacy but most of the time people are experiencing post-trauma instead so at the root of every ability we have to abuse or or to neglect ourselves it's to abuse ourselves or neglect ourselves or to abuse or neglect others you know or even to attract people just even the

general idea to attract others into our life that would abuse or neglect us is underneath it all is a core of our own low self-worth so i want to talk about intimacy and self-worth because behind our inability to have true intimacy is this frequency of low self-worth it's this vibe that we're putting out that we're saying to people the fact that we're even saying on a net on an energetic level hey i'm willing to put out you know what does that mean it means i don't matter you know sometimes it becomes a

statement of just self-abuse like yeah abuse me i don't care because i hate myself but then sometimes it's also a really sad desperate cry for help like i don't know how to get love souls settled so sometimes it's an overt abuse of oneself to attract these kinds of things or to others but sometimes it's a you know a little more of a sad thing not just an overt it's more of a covert self-abuse to say i don't know how to find love so i'm looking for love in all the wrong places and so i just i settle now every time

you settle you're put adding another layer of affirmation or confirmation towards low self-worth which is going to attract more abuse of self or others you know or from others to ourselves so you know just keep that in mind this is far beyond merely feeling a little bit of lack of low self or a little lack of self worth this is beyond just you know a little bit of low self worth this is much bigger much deeper than that we actually i would say we actually think that some of us have self-esteem this isn't

about self-esteem another thing i've talked about you could look that up self-esteem versus self-worth so this isn't just about gosh you know i have a little low self-esteem because some people sleep around trying to gain self-esteem that obviously isn't where it comes from has to be an inside job so you know some of us have self-esteem we think and some of us don't the truth is at the core of it man everybody is struggling it's not just people with low self-worth that have issues every single human being on the planet

has so low self-worth it's not just those who seem like it or seem to have low self-esteem it's a deep deep deep identity crisis we're going to get more to intimacy but first it's a deep self-worth issue so why would we have low self-esteem especially or low self-worth especially when we we we put little post-its on our bathroom mirror i'm lovable i'm worthy you know that that positive thinking movement it helps a tad but really it's just like using a coin you know using a phrase of

jesus polishing the outside of a tombstone when inside you still have a dead person so you can polish up i i have value i have you know you can do all the techniques and nlp and tapping and whatever all of it the real which is helpful it's helpful but if you don't deal with the death that's inside it's it's worthless really in fact sometimes you're creating a greater conflict in your life by trying to get the outside to say i'm wonderful i'm wonderful i want you know polishing polishing and ignoring

the death inside you're going to create a greater contrast that's going to blow up so it's actually more helpful to own i have a problem oh i shouldn't say that that that's against my positive thinking i don't care about your positive thinking it's killing you anyway so why not just try listening to something else for a change which i mean this talk right here shallow levels of self-worth never you know cured your whole life anyway we've got to deal with the the low self-worth inside and then we can say

well you know where what do you mean why would i have low self-worth what if i had a decent life what if i had good parents a good partner good family good you know whatever siblings it's not the point deep inside there's a self-worth issue that is rooted in the fact that we think we left god we think we left having a game to earth now you may or may not understand that and i can't go into all the you know deep principles behind that but somewhere along the line we're like i am what i'm a what

if you have good self-worth what are you i'm a good person that's not going to convince me i i have value i'm a good mom that's not going to convince me deep inside we believe we left heaven and another way i'm going to say that you're a what i'm a nice what besides mom and all that human being you are not a human being you're a divine being not just i'm not just like coaching you here hey you're a divine being i'm telling you you are absolutely made in the image of god you are part of

god you are a divine being i mean i could go into scriptural and philosophical quotes from history and lao tzu and buddha and blah blah blah all that i don't need to it's the the truth of of the universe the truth of god we are divine beings made in the image of the ultimate divine being so there you are and a scriptural quote you are gods and goddesses that's out of the bible so we are gods in the making great we're actually god's in the remembering gods and goddesses in the remembering you're not in the making

you're not going to make yourself a god god as nor is anybody else if we were created that way thank god so something's gone wrong if we're divine beings but we're thinking we're human beings with a little bit of variations of self-worth it's all just you know it's it's worth studying it's worth learning the variations and that's what we use our programs for and our learning experiences and healing arts because it's teaching us or exposing those variations that's just

fine but underneath the variations there is the truth which is the perfection of of god and love within us and then there's the false i'm merely a human being now you can say i'm not merely you being human is wonderful guys if you're a limited being called human if you can die or get sick you're a limited being and i'm going to use the word merely so don't correct the merely thing here the fact that you're you can be flawed in any way that your body this almighty god god itself thinks it

can die because of a germ that you can't even see invading your system and destroying you i mean come on something's wrong with this picture so we've become mere mortals and mortal is synonymous with the word what death mortality death mortal a mortal wound right so being a mortal human being is is being dead or in the uh time payments you know of death um you know basically you you know deep down inside we know this guys we know this and so here's what happens okay wait i'm i'm i'm hearing what michael's

saying wow this is great we're made in the image of god i'm hearing in the bible i'm hearing it of course the miracles i'm hearing it from channeling or whatever wow we're made in the image of god we're divine beings great great great but then i'm here in this mortal body a friend of mine just passed away i just lost my job i don't feel very divine and then that starts to drive something real deep inside into it starts to perk it into awakening where we go uh oh something really is wrong with

this picture i'm a divine being yet everything's collapsed in my life i go through challenging times that's not perfection that's not eternal bliss so what's going on and so deep down inside we start to go uh-oh i left heaven what kind of person with any decent sense of self-worth would be one with all that is one with god one with love peace joy i'm the embodiment a god goddess prince princess of the king of the univer god you know and i left and thought you know i could have oneness love perfection or i could have

planet earth where i get to keep reincarnating into hell over and over and over again that's just sounds yummy you can have this your favorite food put before you on your favorite holiday or your birthday wow oh my god i feel so loved by everybody and then they say oh sorry we gave the wrong plate here's scraps from the bottom of the trash can from three months ago bottom of the trash can there you go how are you going to feel about that how are you not going to notice and the difference the contrast richness

lack okay so how do we feel about that how do we feel about having left heaven how would you feel if if you could win the lottery and have 10 million dollars let's say and if it were possible for you to then somehow screw it up and lose your winning lottery ticket i i don't know about you i i even have fairly decent self-worth not perfect but fairly decent self-worth and i would be kind of pissed at myself i would be feeling kind of like what the heck you know how could you not feel that way and that's only about a few million

dollars in lottery i'm talking about oneness with the universe we left it you're gonna feel some low self-worth about leaving or having feel felt like you left heaven just the way it's gonna be guys basically living on earth uh if you put in this perspective living on earth would be you know like like a jail sentence more than a wonderful gift you know living on earth is not the gift of god living as one in heaven consciousness is the gift god gave us living on earth is a jail sentence we come here you know there's a

reference in the course of miracles where the thirsty and starving come to die um i know that's kind of a gruesome metaphor um earth lovers would never like to hear that because they make the earth into a pseudo nice place but it would never be able to match the the real world that's hidden behind the one that can die the one that can seemingly have limitations there's another world waiting in consciousness for us as we grow in consciousness and that's why true intimacy is truer intimacy is first of all earned but then there's

benefits that come from having earned it it's this cycle of wow wow wow and it there's a cause you earn and you gain the cause of true intimacy and then it brings the effects of wonderful passionate intimacy which then makes you feel even more of a sense of wow around and around she goes just like planet earth in its little cyclical hell and limitation and hurt and pain and self-abuse creates its own little perpetuate system so and having done a lot of work with sacred sexuality and intimacy books i've written on it lectures i've

done on this counseling how many thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of people over say 40 years um i didn't just see thousands because of 40 years of doing the work i do i see thousands because of the work i've done the constant on tour seeing people you know seeing at least sometimes a hundred people per tour and doing sometimes two three tours per month for tens of years so you just do the math on that i never have taken a month off of touring or teaching i was always on tour and always working

so i i've seen many tens if not more than that thousands of people and i i i deal with all kinds of things that people go through but when it comes to understanding people that's partly just a guidance that comes to me and partly experience but it's not just experience this is the truth that we can understand if we open our minds and hearts to hear the truth about love god life intimacy earth you know whatever the case may be so when it comes to human beings it's always cracked me up and saddened me to a degree someone will

come to me michael you know i i i had some sessions with you before or maybe it's the first time and they're saying you know i just want to update you uh oh i i have had a challenging life but not anymore i found this wonderful lover oh they're so intense and they they love me and and i already know where this is going and i already disagree just because you come to me and tell me about how passionate your lover or a lover or lovers have been doesn't mean anything to me doesn't impress me even in the slightest now i wouldn't

shame you or wrong you for it i'm not going to say oh that's bad run from it i'm going to say good for you you know and all that but if you're gonna allow me to go into a deeper place with you about it i'm never gonna tell you that that thing you think is wonderful is the end of your story just because you found something that was more intense had more fire to it doesn't mean it's better it's just different from other things you've had oh my husband neglected me for 10 years 40 years whatever but now i

found this one passionate lover uh great good for you so you had a partner that was more earthy grounded maybe more sentimental maybe maybe more water like maybe even airy but now you got fire good good for you fire can burn as well as warm you eat you up so i don't buy into uh you know oh good for you you finally found you know great sex life or whatever um i feel if anything i swear i feel more pity for you because you have no idea the hell you're getting yourself into which i'll explain so be patient if you don't guys don't mind

please just try to hang in there with me but you know they think because they found an intense lover they found more self-worth because something's more satisfying the person acts like they like me especially the the way they come after me so intensely oh wow i feel so swept off my feet why do you need to feel swept off your feet low self-worth so really they're they're seemingly fulfilling your low self-worth it seems like they're fulfilling your sexual desire they're actually seemingly fulfilling your low self-worth

at some point you're going to realize they're using you or they're being selfish for their own look at me i'm successful with you kind of way when you realize that you're going to crash even more than when you had a less successful lover or lovers in your life so the truth is that almost every intimate or sexual encounter is an act or demonstration of low self-worth whether it's i want sex or i give give give sex it's still all compensatory it really is and people just don't realize that even

when um and again this is my kind of irreverent you know way of sharing these things but even when a passionate lover begs for intense sex or begs to give you intense sex i'm gonna do this to you you know everybody's like wow i feel so you know i feel so aroused and so desired you know um what they're really saying is i want you to abuse me or i want to abuse you hidden behind yes do me do me do me is hate me abuse me abuse me abuse me now again there's some positives coming i promise but at this stage of intimacy this this

is not the positive yet this is just the whole you know i i want abused or to be abused and again i know this to be the truth and also trust me in terms of my experience and and the teaching about intimacy and sexuality i understand all this stuff you know and i know somebody out there is watching and they're going to get annoyed and they're not going to want to hear this because they want to believe that they're you know um lover past or present or the one they're longing for you know is something wonderful oh no

you know you don't understand michael you really don't get it you know just like they they people you know uh get really um upset when i talk about soul mates the real the real deal behind soul mates that it's not about someone fulfilling you you're already complete it's not about someone completing you yes it is you don't understand michael you just don't get it yeah okay i don't get it um you're right you're incomplete and someone out there that you might never meet is what holds the secret of your

completion so good for you unfortunately you're living in hell and you apparently will never get out of hell because you keep thinking someone has outside of you has the power to fulfill you and as long as anything outside of you has power then you're not complete by the way which means you're in hell completion would be god incompletion would be god fullness wholeness is god lack is not god so that's my take love me or hate me over it doesn't matter to me so it comes to the same principles when

we're talking about intimacy and sexuality um there's the person who's begging for abuse you know they're bad they seem like they're begging for passion but they're they're saying i feel incomplete i feel worthless i've been abused or i did abuse and in this or some other lifetime and now it's coming out in the form of you know uh some sort of intimacy or sexual intimate or sexual um actions or you know experiences so the person doing the intense so-called you know you could put

the fiery element to intimacy or sexuality the person doing this is really saying hey i have an idea why don't we just descend into hell together you want to be abused because of having been abused as a pattern or having done abuse to others you want to be abused because you have low self-worth well guess what i have low self-worth too my self-worth yours yours makes you sad and you want a person to pick you up so i'll be your drug i have low self-worth and it takes the form not of yours it's the opposite

i rather than sad and lonely and wanting i am angry about having drifted from heaven you feel sad i'm angry so why don't we disguise it as i passionately desire you and you'll be like oh he's sweeping me off my feet no nobody has ever done this for me you you love me you care for me you're paying attention to my needs oh my god the popular goddess phrase of the new age you know i want my needs met dumbass if you were divine you wouldn't have any needs don't buy into those statements i'm gonna sorry man getting on a roll

but it's like don't be such a dumbass like don't buy into that i'm a needy goddess how does that even make sense i'm a goddess and i have needs do you not hear that that's saying i'm whole and complete and i'm not it doesn't make sense so there's something wonderful waiting which is when when you choose to share with other people that even if we're wounded we understand that we have wounds we can share that with each other in true intimate encounters i do have anger i do have sadness etc

but i'm willing to put that here between us and talk about it and or process it together as we also rise in love and i don't mean just being him up i mean it rise in a sense of gratitude because this is where it's going guys unhealthy passion comes from fear and hate healthy passion because there is oh healthy passion fire that's proper not that burns people fire that powers you up and like wow it comes from the inside not from others so you start to feel like oh my god i feel love and appreciation

and it becomes a fire like wow and i want to share my love and appreciation for who i am and who i know you are and then you have the real deal then you've got real passion it's you know wow and when you have that it can be very confusing because you haven't had it before you know you don't you don't understand it really people that that are wounded they're saying abuse me or they're saying i'm going to abuse you and when it's done just right it's called great sex such crap i tell my students

for all the years i was teaching sacred sexuality don't ever use that phrase around me please great sex you have no idea what great anything is let alone great sex you had intense sex that you think is great but it isn't because intense sex behind it is someone hates you and wants to hurt you so they screw you passionately and you took it as they really like me don't don't be so shallow don't be so dim that you would buy that kind of garbage from somebody from some abuser don't don't even go

there and see through it i i hope some of you are crying when i talk about this i hope some of you are laughing or some boat because it is worth some tears the things we've done and experienced on this earth and had done to us and it is sad and unfortunate that people don't see it and so they just they go from it's called the pendulum you go from not having to wow i remember this one gal several sessions we were doing in uh houston texas year in the 90s and she just every time i would talk to her she acted like

she hadn't already had a session she would just go right back into telling me about the incredible new sex she's having in her life that she had never had before this was different this was totally different she says oh it's so wow we just can't keep our hands off each other you know that's called addiction you know it's you can't keep your hands off a drink or a drug it's just you know oh no you don't understand oh my god and it was so so so so so really um did you tell him about some of

your wounds oh no that's not appropriate really if you can't bring everything then how is it real if you can't bring everything i'm talking about in an appropriate way then how how could you tell me how much real how real this is this experience well i'm not saying it's real i'm just saying it's passionate that's a little more honest you just then say that i had this intense sex experience intense would be a good word for it you can have intents in lots of ways you can have intensity by putting your battery cables

to your car battery put the other two leads to your body that would be an intense experience because that's what you're experiencing with this kind of a guy or girl that's doing you sorry guys um so the real deal true spiritual holistic passion comes from feeling love and gratitude for life for yourself for your presence your being and the all that of the other person as well it's it's like it's the treasure of self-worth makes me feel so good that i can include in i could if i choose to include another in that wonderment that

oh my god isn't this beautiful you know it's i don't you know i don't know each of you is slightly different when it comes to your what you love in this world but for me i see a field of lavender or a field of golden flowers sometimes whole hillsides hillsides you know i just go whoa beauty you know is something that's just wow you know it it's appealing to my soul i'd just go you know just it's incredible right um and and that's just one simple example of it but it's that same thing when you feel that

way wow look at those fields of lavender when you feel that also wow the the fields of love within my being you you know it's nice to want to share that you know instead of going wow look at that field everybody look the other way i don't want you to see that beautiful that's not the way a healthy normal human being would respond you'd go immediately guys look and that's how true intimacy is wow look at this this thing i want to share with you it feels so good and to me you know that's that's the more the real deal that's

something that it's coming from the soul you know human beings have sometimes shared the most what they thought successful or intense and successful in orgasmic sense stimulation sense perhaps and a lot of times when that has been found don't be depressed if you haven't found that yet because it's only an accident waiting to happen be grateful you haven't gone to that place with your pendulum pendulum yet you want the middle you want the everything found in the middle that's where everything is you have you

have lack you have stimulation and you have everything that is good right here find the center don't seek compensatory swings of the pendulum oh i wish i had you know that kind of guy or girl in my life they would do just anything the the the often you know the stereotype the male who's married to a more traditional gal and so on and so on and then he's got these secret fantasies about what he wants to play out or live out so he finds a prostitute and she's willing to do anything why because she loves him she feels just

eternally grateful for his spiritual presence no she's being paid and that's what you're doing when you share most of these fiery experiences you're being paid not with money you're being paid with usury i'll pretend to do this and you pretend to do that i'll pretend to be interested in you and you'll pretend to be you know responsive so there's this just this weird um it's it's really a form of codependence but there's there's this weird contract bargaining it's referred to

sometimes between such people so it's it's not going to get us anywhere so the more you develop a sense of true self-worth it's all going to come around even if watching this brought you a deeper awareness of true versus false forms of passion and intimacy then you already gained something you might have heard something i said here that will either keep you from going into destructive relate relations or experiences or it might take you out of one you're already in and that would mean you already

gained from this just keep going in that direction and you will continue to feel benefits you know my sharing this with you takes me to another level hearing it takes us to another level so just just trust that that not only is there a goodness called god in the universe that goodness is in you and it can take you to a healthy balanced financial life sexual life personal life parenting life friendship life and so on and so on but it can't do that if we keep sticking ourselves you know to this one end of the pendulum where it's just

very [Music] fixed on the lack and the sadness and it's like the depressed versus the intense side and uh those who do both it's a very bipolar experience very extreme bipolar experience so you know is that really where we want to go i i would say no so there's false forms there's real forms guys and i know it can get confusing when you find the real form it's very confusing because this world doesn't typically provide that how many of your your your magazines in the checkout stands you know supermarkets you all of us have

seen those magazines in the checkout stands uh cosmo and people magazine and us magazine and so on or even the cheesier ones the news paper gossip magazines how many of you have ever seen an article in there that says throw away the stimulus and find soul-level experiences it's not there guys it's just uh it's not there i've worked starting in probably the early 90s that was the first i worked with porn stars with some of their traumas and abuses and you know all the way up until you know comparatively recently i i work with

strippers and escorts and porn people you know people and i'm i'm saying that that genre of people because of how synthetic it is that world and those magazines in the checkout stands they're telling you what you're lacking what you're missing you know and and so they're saying more stimulus that's what you want so you've got some partner out there telling their their partner hey let's watch some of these movies because because you know might give us some ideas what they're really saying is

i'm not fulfilled and i don't want to blame you for it because then you're going to get ticked off and not give me anything so what i'm going to do is try to get you to watch these things with me so that we can both come up with some ideas so that i end up getting what i want out of this you know if their partner broke down crying said this triggered me saying you know this triggered me of some old wounds the average partner to that person would not know what to do because they weren't watching those

things to deepen their experience internally with their partner they're instead looking for external stimulus which is a compensatory thing because of their internal lacking so if you have an internal lack why don't you fill it internally instead of externally that's just not the average person's thought system so as i'm going to come to a close here yeah i've worked with a lot of people in in that kind of field and i've never felt compelled to shame people and all that um uh you know if i were if i were

suddenly a billionaire i would i would consider um grabbing hold of the right people and saying let's make a movie uh you know not a porn as is commonly called let's make a couple of movies like about sensuality true but it can be passionate see it's not the other extreme you don't say well there's porn which is exciting and then there's that other kind that's very traditional no you can have traditional love and gratitude foundational stuff and passion as well and i would love a part of me has

thought about you know uh it's been offered to me loosely a couple of times hey you ought to do this or you know um because of people i've worked with in that area and you know and i will say this when it's even come up as a possibility the response in that industry to hey why don't we why don't we make a movie that would match your genre of people but in your genre you don't realize there's people that want something real you can make it passionate and sexy but also deep in it about love and about

real passion and their brains can't translate that yet they go no no no we don't want any of that new age sex kind of you know they make fun of me or of it they don't realize there's a market for it especially women but also men would really love to see something that would be arousing because of its goodness and not just its stimulus if you don't mind me adding that little last little bit there about this this you know uh the vision you know of what what could be done and it would be successful

and then all of a sudden there would be a whole market for it then it would become fake and not authentic to make such a movie and then it would all get lost again because that's this world it's a fallen world that keeps translating and perpetuating the sense of fallen experiences so you know all this stuff that they promote the stuff you find in magazines how to satisfy your partner how to talk to your partner to get them to satisfy you it's all stimulus it's all more and more lies those magazines they're all just lies

um we all have times when we um choose to self pleasure but but why do we um is it only about stimulus is it addiction is it lack is it fun is it playful you know what are our reasons behind it so i'm not telling you anything that per se is good or bad i'm telling you something's real or it's not real and it would behoove us all to look at why we do things like this why we want stimulus why we don't um and just take a deeper look at these kinds of things remember this whole oh do me baby you

know in the movies i'm trying to not use the vulgarities they use but um i need you do me we're already up creek we already don't know what we're doing you know do me as just um use me do me hurt me it it's even the whole extreme version of i want a little edgy pain that's the more obvious version of someone who's wanting to be hurt if i attracted a person in my life who wanted the edgy stuff i would never judge them but i would have to take them to a place of why what's it about um and when i've worked

with clients along those lines god it's such a an honor but it's such a profound experience to have somebody that's like wow i want this and i want this and i want edgy you know you hurt me and you gradually talk to them and work with them to take a different look at it and suddenly they realized it was all self-hatred and self-abuse that usually brings up why that was there and that's abuses and hurts from the past here come tears now you're getting to real intimacy instead of go go do me do it's oh my god here comes

the pain and the hurt and the sadness and and then once they can get some of that flushed out you can replace it with demonstrations of love demonstrations of caring for that person and it gets very tricky because you know the the secret thing at the end of the fairy tale you know whoever that god or goddess gazes upon when they first open their eyes is the one they'll fall in love with like you know a disney fairy tale at the end you know and what happens if you're the healer or if you're the partner if you're the friend

who they see when they start to open their eyes and go i'm starting to feel something wonderful inside oh wait there you are then it's going to be transferred projected you know transferred on their healer their doctor their you know whoever it is friend or whomever that's helping them and then you have to keep redirecting it back to if you put it on me then you went from hating yourself to starting to love yourself but finding yourself unworthy so you decided to fall in love with me the healer or the therapist or whatever

we are out there counselors and so on uh no i'm here to share this love with you but you will have to integrate the love within yourself i'm not only saying that hypothetically what a person should say to their client friend whatever i'm saying this to us all directly we have to own this love and worthiness in ourselves and that's the end of the story that's the real self-worth now i have what i was looking for now i have what i was abusing myself over what i was punishing myself for not having and now

it it's here i feel like i'm i'm home or arriving home it's not like it's a complete ending it's stages of wow oh my god oh my god oh my god there's even more and that's the wonderment of awakening to who we really are so i really appreciate your time folks and i appreciate you uh those of you you know who can be patient enough to you know filter through michael and his silliness and you know the way i say things sometimes because i'm just you know i could just see through things

of this world i can't you know and it and so i i get flippant about it because i can see what it's really like what this world is really offering or not offering i mean i can see through it and i think you know i think anybody can if they try you know and then you just don't take it all so seriously it's serious in the sense that there's hurts but you don't take it so seriously in the sense that um that you really think there's much value here at the end of the day um this is not my home i'm here and i need

to be fully here while i'm here but this is not my home my home is in the center of my being first and foremost it's a consciousness and it's the one god created me to be and outside of that self i put layer upon layer of a false self that's now struggling to find anything to seem alive you know just to see my life's stimulus to feel alive it's what's behind coke addiction you know cocaine or sex or whatever other kinds of of addictions um and seeing through it becomes just so you know like and

like any form of healing you go through the painfulness of healing it and then you get to a point where why doesn't everybody know this you know like where you'd like to be excited and share that right and isn't that what the 12-step programs are about you go into that healing you become more stable and you want to share that with others but isn't that the same description i said and shared about true intimacy where you start to find this great your sense of self and it becomes i feel a presence of love and gratitude

for me for what i am who i am and what i'm experiencing and the excitement of wanting to share that with others if it becomes stimulus excitement it's not real but there's this i i love and i feel grateful for others to say even higher let me uh uh help you with your your blow out of your tire on the side of the road but it also becomes let me you know let me pay a little of your bill at the checkout counter at the grocery store or it might be when it's chosen appropriately an intimate encounter

you just want to squeeze the person because of how good you feel as opposed to give me something that i don't have or i'm punishing you for what i don't have becomes oh my god do you feel this do you feel this oh my god isn't this wonderful isn't it great to feel love and gratitude i you know i hope you can hear and feel what i'm describing because it's beyond human words ultimately but i'm doing my best to find the words for it so god bless you all and thank you hope i see you again soon

in one of our programs remember we do the friday nights every five year at 5 30 every friday it's always arizona time and i do private sessions by phone and uh you can schedule if you're interested we can talk about whatever i do you know basically i do a read a reading of a person as well as then we move into healing and discussion whatever else is needed relationship stuff souls purpose stuff whatever the case may be so you're welcome to join us for any any of that if you'd like a session and i have workshops and things also

every sunday 10 o'clock arizona time i also do presentations from unity of sedona all right so you're welcome to join us there as well those are deep spiritual inspirational talks versus the more self-help psychology kinds of talks that i do on friday alright so again god bless you and thank you for joining us hope i see you again soon peace be with you all bye-bye