Heart & Soul: The Battle For The Real Self

hmm what would you like me to talk about today had a great weekend huh jealousy and envy you know okay what else pardon really this is for all the lonely people thinking that life has passed them by i'm channeling this don't give up just drink from the silver cup and ride that highway in the sky it's a song from before long before you were born i heard about it any others celibacy oh celebration

i'm kidding what is it and i heard the other one too at the same time okay hmm okay sometimes the things are downloading as i'm writing them so kind of doing things at the same time but great great selections um one thing we have to understand while living on planet earth is is nothing as it seems obviously nothing is as it seems we're holy beings and we never left heaven but we think we did so it's very important that we understand

that all of our experiences i don't care if you think they're great or not all of our experiences are depictions of either our fall away from our identity or our remembrance so when people say how are you doing today or friends you know what what's going on and they say oh man i'm going through some challenging stuff what i'm really hearing is you're experiencing symptoms of the fall when you say oh my god i took this class and great prosperity is happening and healing and went to get a massage what

i'm really hearing is i'm remembering think about that everything is about forgetting or remembering the best cure for the forgetting side of that is forgiving okay that's the best most thorough miraculous cure you can do other things you can be in the forgetting side and you can supplement with some nicer things for yourself it's called free will when we exercise free will we are exercising the most powerful prayer in our being see so for example i just said everything is either depicting our fall

or our remembrance our rise right descension ascensions one or the other everything in life is depicting one or the other life's tests are all about how i feel the fall but i want to remember so life's test you know it's the universe saying well good for you you want to remember i heard you know you say you want to remember great and you're on a path you're on a spiritual path or a path of self-help whatever you want to call it so the universe then says let's match you here and let's give you

some tests that help you remember now we think we're supposed to only get gifts you get no gifts in this pla on this planet in this material universe you get no gifts other than rewards for having done well on your tests we sit around and go where's my gifts you're the same person you were yesterday what new gifts can you get well i just want some new greed selfishness that's not going to come it's it there's no gratuitous levels of this there's no entitlement how could we be entitled falsely

egotistically we're divine beings how much more you know that's the greatest entitlement if you want to call it that but if you're not living up to that then there's no entitlement that you can own and bring in so people sit and beg god i believe in prayer dear god give me help me and god's like no compende you know you're not even speaking my language i don't get what you're saying well i need this and i how could you have needs honey you're a holy being in my image you don't get it god

we have issues here on earth and god again would say well sounds to me like you have to restore your mind you have to come back to who you really are oh fine you know that helped why should i even pray to you when you give me these weird answers they're they're abstract they're you mean they're not spoiling you they're not enabling your ego we think our ego only can cause us damage your ego can also create false goods you know like the high you get from getting a new car you're actually no better of a person

you're just the same rude person in a fancier car why are we not committed to healing our heart and soul healing at the deepest level so many things you know loneliness and and envy and all these negatives but also attachment positives are more of the ego that's why great great teachers have said die of the old you not just the negative you everything you think is even positive you're mistaken because they're all opinions and perceptions i choose not i being any of us i choose not to to play with perceptions today what i

think is a good day and a bad day i'm choosing god which is here rather than here and here make sense so it's an interesting thing when i think my mind get pictures and metaphors and right now i see this concept imagine a child that just beamed into planet earth and the ego beams right into its side right here over to the side of the child and that that you know the child's birth right here innocence beauty love this being right here boom comes in the ego and this is actually a visual depiction kind

of a a depiction or illustration of how things kind of happened in the big picture so i'm here beaming in comes the ego and immediately it gets your attention oh my god look look look look what to be afraid of did you see the news did you hear this you know that's what the ego has to do a lot of people say i always go by the voice that's loudest because it's god no the loudest voice is the ego god's voice is silent well that's unfair i would rather my ego be silent and god speak clearly god would love that

if you would make that your habit but we're addicted waking up starting our daily wow feels really amazing oh yes yes yes thank you thank you namaste god thank you thank you now what do i need to be worried about today you know we just go right into the day there's got to be something to be terrified about did you hear and and we'll even blame those people listen man you're so negative i want to stay positive but even hearing other people tempting us to be negative is a test am i choosing the awakening or the

sleeping self do i want to be unconscious unconscious doesn't mean you're not there unconscious means you're unconscious to who you are you know like like almost an amnesia so we're not awake to who we are so this child beams in the ego's right there and it doesn't stop look out look out look out look out if we get bold spiritually mature psychologically mature spiritually and question that voice then wait a minute wait a minute ego wait a second or voice of negatives voice of challenges whatever hold it a

minute i'm kind of i'm kind of getting fed up with this i just went to the doctor yesterday they told me i have a disease related to stress and you stress me out i don't think i like your voice any here's what it's going to do it's not going to go louder and meaner it's going to go oh honey i'm right with you i don't want you to be stressed really because i thought you were just the voice of stress no i don't want you stressed and you wouldn't be if it weren't for them

and it tricked you through positives to blame again or to even talk about the outside the ego can actually say honey i don't want you sick either really you're you're you're actually thinking of my best interest absolutely in fact i love you so much i'm gonna recommend a pill or a drink to help you calm isn't that nice take one of these drink one you know i i feel less stressed it tricked you into thinking there was a power in something outside of yourself once again see we it's nothing wrong with taking things

those things don't even exist what i'm concerned about is why we would think something outside even exists and has power overs that's all powerlessness it's important for us to see these things see through these things and own you know it's all like that's one of the greatest points of buddha's teachings is to try to get everybody to recognize what you see outside is a reflection of the inside there were people that went to buddha and said is there really a god or isn't there because so many people were practicing

religion around him they were saying religion says that there's a god but it sounds like you're saying there isn't is there a god other people people a are asking people b are asking different people different personalities to one group he would say yes there is a god just the ones that didn't believe in god he said you guys are wrong there's a god they're like oh well i got to think about that the ones that were like we're religiously into god there's a god right he'd say no

just like me just to annoy them just now not don't take me too literally but he was saying what would challenge them your too focused on the outer god there is no such thing it's inside so he was trying to get them to switcheroo to something else and the people that were saying there is no such thing no what he's really doing is giving hope either way but the hope for those of you who believed it on the outside understand the hopefulness of finding it within becoming the thing you once worshipped on the outside

and those of you who poopoo the idea and you're skeptical and so you're mistaken there is a god and then one person would read one or those or the other and then say buddha said there's no such god he was in a mood he was messing with you you know i mean what can you say don't don't make that what he said is period he just like buddha who said life is a place of suffering just wow like dude like lighten up man that's pretty heavy but he's doing that to make a point life is a place of suffering which we

talked a little bit last week about the parallels of that teaching and those of other traditions but this world is a place of suffering what he's saying and gets taken too literally just like when he says the reason you reincarnate desire and then all the people that are followers of buddha started think monks particularly would think if this is a place of desire that sounds very christian like doesn't it you know beware desire and then they you know they had depictions and old you know books they had depictions of

people in hell because of their desires there were lusty desires there's a hell of you know lust a hell of money and and they took all that just like with buddhism did the same thing they made desire wrong but they misunderstood you incarnate because of desire no you incarnate because of your desire to clear your stuff and go home not naughty desires religions built up around jesus buddha and anybody else they just have this tendency to shame things humans in case you haven't heard this or experience it humans tend to mess up

everything the united states is a democracy no it isn't it has democracy in it it's actually more of a republic than a democracy because the forefathers said hey let's do this democracy thing and they said you know what wait let's also make it a republic to put in check where democracy can go wrong and vice versa balance that's what they did and you have now two groups demo democracy that became democratic right a republic that became republicans you have two people just like christians of different kinds or

buddhism east and west all these stories of duality none of that is god that's man messing things up right here somewhere floating it's not a hard line but in here there's this beautiful little to the right little to the left depending on what we need today a little firmer conversation a little softer but still centered conversation anything is possible for us we don't have to live with the the loneliness and the harshness that some of you are asking about here how to find peace how to find unconditional love it's here

the world will keep telling you it's found here it's found here when they say jesus when will you return one of his most poignant statements is warning when they come and tell you here is jesus there is jesus don't believe them what did he mean it's not just jesus it's answers to life this pill this anti-pill it's still duality do don't do behave misbehave and humans get caught with that and the ego so quickly pulls us that child stands there the ego screaming at it the child becomes

terrified you know what the sickest thing about the story would be is even though the child is starting with innocence gets terrified has the ego screaming at it trying to misdirect it the sickest thing is that the child will still grab hold for safety of the sick voice really really it's bad yes look out everybody's out to get real it'll cling to that why because it's the only thing it thinks it knows have you ever seen a video let's say um you know a child and the child you know hi my parents asked me to make this video i

lost my dog and i love my dog and it's been gone for three weeks and and then they sneaked the dog in because they found it and then they say honey tap on his shoulder look behind you look what the kid does that is god hidden behind us not here screaming in our ear hidden behind us waiting for us to accept the good news that it's been there all along we just didn't turn within to see it we were distracted by the ego terrible ego bad ego naughty ego and the ego is going you're the one who hired me

how dare you shame me i'm just doing a job pretty darn good job too i have never let you had peace that's what you hired me to do someone to blame the devil made me do it that old saying is actually rooted in this concept blame the devil blame the antichrist how could there be an antichrist that comes into a world of sane people it couldn't happen an antichrist a devil an ego a negative voice a temptation none of those have any place in a person who's sane spiritually because we would have no interest i mean

like no interest some of us you know basically all of us know that certain things if people ask you to do certain things there are some things that are not like conflict where you'd have to think about it there are certain things somebody could ask you where you're clearly there's it's not an option right certain things you know it's just not even an option well how about for a thousand it's not an option 10 million it's not an option okay that is how we're supposed to converse with the voice of hurt

temptation judgment you you want to know about we're ascending well if you want to know how well you're ascending think about questions like this are you so clear that you cannot be tricked tempted or whatever into hurtful behavior judgments in other words that's the ultimate hurtful behavior judgments right think about it it's not an option well i just want to tell you about somebody but i'm not interested you see most of us when somebody wants to gossip we're like oh you know i'm not

interested if you're if you're strong at all you'll say oh i'm not really interested no but wait you don't know you know and and and we start to go really is it that serious and then comes the reactions to some of the other things they tell and some of you know and some some more and some more and we we take the bait when you claim to be ascending in consciousness this should be one of your barometers how strongly firmly clearly are you saying no to bs you know what i don't care what it's

about your mother gossiping about your father your sisters about your brother your friends about your partner whatever the case may be what i would do and recommend doing is let me ask where this is coming from meaning in here if you're telling me all these things that are tempting me to doubt the love of a person the clarity of a teacher the uh quality of a book you're reading oh that book i've heard you know we should ask ourselves not not get sucked in nor hate them how dare you tempt me to think negative try this

instead where is this coming from within me why did i draw you into my head today to be this voice now be careful with this because i'm not telling you don't put them in their place i'm saying clean up your side of the street where's this coming from and then say get behind me satan not literally but see get wow i was just this morning giving thanks for this one person in my life and god think wow so good that this person manifested in my they're mirroring my awakening thank you god and no sooner you do that you get to the

grocery store and somebody hey good to see you hey i heard you know so and so oh you know what i heard about them this is you trying to ruin yourself this is you letting the ego try to infiltrate and ruin something that was good please try to let good be good it doesn't matter you can find fault anybody and everybody can fight find fault with anything but why be one of those how about being different and say today show me a loving forgiving mind heart soul that's who i want to be the the real me so that child

gets to turn around and see now now when that child turns around and sees the dog instead of the voice saying your dog you know honey you should let it go it's probably dead you know oh and there's people you know that don't like dogs somebody probably kidnapped it it's probably you know it's probably in some other country by now being abused you know all this just oh my god i just loved my dog and now there's all this heavy stuff on me now when that child turns and sees the dog i ask you this

how much do you think it's still thinking about the other person and all their comments not a lot right i mean they're focused on the dog oh my god god spelled backwards by the way so the dog the god it's there all alone oh my it's not going no but wait this can't be real it can't be because that person said that's what doubt those are the ghosts of the christmas past are feeding you to tempt you to don't go with the positive don't go home don't try to awaken there's there's concerns you should have

maybe that's not your dog it's probably fake they probably took a cat shaved it differently dyed it different color taught it how to bark and it's pretty really how much of that do i want to listen to and that sounds absurd you would never listen to that but everything's absurd everything anything that isn't god is absurd not just absurd like judge it absurd meaning it doesn't even exist and it clearly has no power over us even words like loneliness not to mention you know the envy jealousy

i will know if i'm listening to a voice of guidance that is taking me home or dropping me by how i feel jealousy envy and so on okay if i'm if i'm reacting feeling those feelings there's something in me that's feeding off of that and or is feeding it first i feed it then i feed off of it but there's something in me that's in a relationship with the voice in me that tells me i'm falling there's no way you could be rising in god and feel lonely depressed jealous envious their symptoms are not correct you don't

usually say i think i have a flu to a doctor what makes you think that because i feel really energetic and alive and happy that they would go i i don't think that's a flu you know it just doesn't match well envious hurtful rude judgmental that doesn't fit ascending but having that that said doesn't mean i'm telling you you should judge yourself for feeling envy lonely just see it own this is how i'm feeling and this is coming from unhealed wounds of the past own them see what they are see that it's

happening and own it not just own it like linearly own that it's from unhealed wounds the only thing that could be making you feel you know the disconnection from god would be a disconnection from god when did that take place in the past when i was abused when i was tormented when people spoke to me a certain way it all programmed me in the past and i'm feeling the symptoms and effects of it today the hangover usually comes after the drinking not before so when i'm feeling negative feelings i'm feeling a psychological hangover for

having drank too much of the punch that the ego gave me when i'm feeling up and kind of you know and it's great it's amazing you know you can wake up some days just feeling connected that can't be an accident and it didn't just happen right now you have to have earned all the good in your life not because you're unworthy of it i just mean it means you passed tests there was a day when you said no to gossip that brought you a good day today that might have been three years ago everything comes in its right time

so we bought into feeling separate from god and we experience now the karmic effects of that and when you if one of you is asking a lonely envy etc you're not the one feeling lonely and that we all have that within us you're not the one who's not doing well today i was in the spiritual center and everybody just seemed so bright and alive and energetic and wow they're plugged in and i'm feeling lonely and so i'm wrong no we all this week it's you and next week it's me we have these cycles but what do we do

with them when we have them how quickly can we catch ourselves and come out of them bounce back from those see that's the spiritual path this world is going to try to weigh heavy because the ego does not want you going home if you go home the ego no longer exists and it knows letting you find peace means my demise and i do not want to go away i want to live forever so i have to make you feel eternally miserable because then i eternally live right so we turn and we realize oh my god there's god now how much attention do i

want to give those other voices of the past that's what it's like to me that's what it means to be born again it's not just a one-time thing it's a commitment i think i'm ready to commit to a new self and just as i had these moments of dropping dropping so we separate from god and we feel guilts and shames and on and on and we come into the earth plane and guilts and shames and other things patterning of feeling off just as we went through these stages of descent we have to also go through those same

rooms that we walked through coming in on our way back so if somewhere i learned to be hateful you will and you become now loving you will have to go back into the world of hateful if you once started feeling envious or jealous or competitive with others and now you don't you're going to have to go back into those rooms and face yourself again it's all very intelligently designed the ego is hoping no now you know oh miss i'm ascending we'll see about that because you don't go drop drop drop drop drop

no it's drop drop drop drop drop clawing your way back up the mountain you know it's not just whoa you know it it's you have to face yourself all the times you steered this direction other than center you've got to see them again putting it in in simplistic terms if i fell fell fell and felt low self-esteem i have to walk into that room someday and face can you feel self-esteem can you have self-worth you have to revisit the very rooms you descended through if you were never drawn into a room on your way down let's

say envy you don't visit that room so each person has their tests their rooms but are they rooms on your fall or are they rooms on your ascension the ego is banking on fine fine oh i see someone's decided to become enlightened well i've got news for you wait till you get to the room of whatever it happens to be or one of your raw nerves it brings you to that it's it brings you to that room it's hope and and it's pretty confident that you will not pass the test of that room i know you it says

i i know you i know you think you're ready to work on it yourself and ascend i know i know that but you have you know low self-worth guess what miss i'm ascending i'm gonna have you fired tomorrow and that's gonna the shock and then when you get home your partner's gonna say well i only married you because of your the benefits you had at work and you know you what oh my god yeah and by the way our children aren't yours bam bam and the ego's like you know just [Music] just a mat any minute now and you're

like oh money padmio oh mommy oh my god i can do this oh and the children are mine that's okay and all the benefits and why did i stay at a sucky job i didn't even like it but but it was for the benefits and i knew and now she's using me for okay you know at some point oh monty potty it becomes oh my god i want to kill everybody i want to die i want to it it's going to get you and the egos just you know yeah baby i know you the little arrogant i'm going to ascend and i can handle stuff the ego is is is

based on good experience banking against you now in that same presence the ego you can't fat you can't pass you're going to fail your test in that same moment child god is right here silently waiting for you to say be with me while i enter this room and then the person says you lost your job not you know and then they're leaving you and then the kids aren't yours i mean those those do hurt there's nothing wrong with you psychologically feeling depressed about it but bounce back how did you end up at the end of the day

not the first minute at the end of the day how did you do with your tests if you end the day back to hate low self-worth you simply in you know you come in a little into the more darkness into this world again and have to wait until you decide to commit again to awakening you just buy into more illusion and there'll be karmic effects of that however the holy spirit of god the divine mother is saying honey what you're feeling are labor pains and if you can stay with me and let me be your midwife something wonderful can happen

and we can feel nauseous it's okay the body and the world is going to try to do its thing to make you doubt your commitment to a new life i'm born again meaning i'm committed to becoming the christ child the awakened child the child of god i'm absolutely committed to this and then in comes the news and work and then the person betrays you and the kids aren't yours and whatever else and you find yourself over a toilet bowl because the anxiety and you ulcerate and you've got blood coming

you know what this is not who i am my reaction is not who i am so i'm asking you god be with me while i go through these temptations these reactions i'm giving you my nausea i'm giving you my anxiety attack see own it and put it on the altar to the mother it's not going to behoove you to say i'm i'm not feeling this because i read this book and it said there's only god so there's only god this is not happening this is not it all you're doing is intensifying guilt and shame because

part of you knows it does feel like it's happening so through this through this and the great thing is that when you pass the test and you go i did feel it i did feel anxious i did feel sad i did feel low self-worth i did but i didn't end that way i came out with it saying and yet my faith is in you god and for you during that moment it could be to your knees prayer be with me it could be a chant an affirmation you could sit and do mantras related to specific issues whatever external thing you choose to do

it's it's not just about those things are just ritual or ceremony to help they help it has to be a determined change in consciousness you you know people that think i'm we're ascending really are you any different than you were last year no but we're ascending ascending means ascending into higher consciousness if you don't have higher consciousness what are you ascending to well but if somebody said all the planet earth is ascending no it's people that are raising consciousness are ascending

jerks are not ascended jerks that doesn't make sense ascending into higher consciousness are you more loving and forgiving are you a better person are you kind do you know how to be of service to others well no but others are others i i'm worried about me i'm ascending they're not oh great they're very fundamental christian of you jesus is coming to get me and unfortunately for the rest of you you're all going to hell wow like where's the word christian means to be like christ where's the like christ in that

it isn't there hypocrisy it's everywhere it's rampant because the ego is everywhere and rampant but we can choose differently we can say despite the way the world looks and feels i'm choosing the presence of god and in case you haven't noticed the world is really wow it's going really really nuts but there's reasons guys there's not only my rooms on the way home there's our collective rooms we collectively are going through a lot why because we're going home and we're

having to re-enter our false selves our these rooms we're having to revisit the lies of duality it is not going to end up where someone's right republican or democrat or someone's right male or female all these things are exposing themselves to be what they are human created ego human-created institutions to simply distract us like the voice here screaming at the child but you and i are the child why do we want to keep not only listening to it but clinging to it for some false sense of safety some people have married or stayed

married to a very blatant embodiment of the ego that was not nice it was terrifying and it made us cling more to them because it was familiar we'll marry people like them and not even realize because it's you know familiar it'll be like wow i feel really attracted you're actually not feeling attracted you're feeling a resonance to your previous abuser now manifesting in this abuser and that makes you go there's something really interesting here and you think it's oh this is intriguing i should

marry them when in fact it's the voice of sanity saying run this is them again you know this is friday the 13th part 80. the movies just keep getting made but it's the same movie none of those horror movies ever ramped up its plot line you know it never like raised its budget and and got really great actors you know it was it was always the same you know if they had decent actors they had it it was the same kind of formula cookie cutting and that's life and relations so to me it's very you know interesting a conversation

i had with some of the board members recently very beautiful and very powerful but i said you know guys we're calling this the global center for christ consciousness and that does mean we have to ramp things up because even a workplace a spiritual center place a yoga class whatever you do the the places the the environments you and i enter in our world are generally replicas with the same archetypes of other stereotypes of other relations so you you go and you i have this girlfriend of mine we're going to open a

yoga center and she and i are really feeling alive and great about it you open the center don't think that your sister is not going to show up your sibling you know the one that threw you under the bus and the one that used to try to be prettier or smarter she's going to show up right now oh no we're we're friends you know my friend and i we're we're yoga sisters we have matching outfits and you know we cut our hair the same we're yoga sister talk to the hand man i know where this

is going because you can't escape yourself remember remember that song kicks just keep getting harder to find remember that you know and it says it in that song it's fine it's lost in you people it's from the 60s before you were born good thanks you couldn't have been there if you remember it so in that period in that time in the 60s there was so much being shared message wise coming through you know songwriters and so on but in this one no matter what you do you'll never get away from you

it's a great line and no matter what you do you'll never run away or get away from you you're still going to be there you'll sober up from yesterday's high but why are you getting stoned because you don't there's something in you you don't like and you're trying to numb it or deny it once you sober up it's back i drink to deal with stress oh and and the stress went away right you you had a drink and you were never again stressed that worked no now you need two and now you need

three and that's the genesis of addiction you think there's a problem you don't know what it is so you find some external means to fix it external can't actually do anything it can only seem to the adjustments have to be an inside job why why do i need a drink because i'm anxious why am i anxious well i have these patterns keep going what are the patterns well there's this and that and past and remembering and oh man i can see it this has been throughout my lifetimes you heal that the anxiety drops you

don't need the drink that's what healing would look like real healing would look like that's why in the 12-step program you're you're encouraged insisted upon that you work on yourself you don't just not drink hi welcome just gonna kind of sit around and look at each other craving drink this is fun this is you know you know wow as a knockout group i got to be here tomorrow no you go and you actually accomplish something of a release and getting out the old so i said to some of the board members when we were chatting

um here's what we're going to do guys because we're going to have potential envy competition these sisters you know sibling rivalry all the things that can go on in life we can't impose perfection we don't want to do that we don't want to like now that we call this the global center let's never think a naughty thought that's you'll end up neurotic what we can do is to two parts if you keep working on the old stuff inside you're lessening the chance that it'll get vented on someone else

so let's work on our stuff when one of you triggers another work on it the inside heal and work on it now that lessens that's not enough there's another half of the story and i said treat each other with love and respect what happens is as you get closer we start taking for granted right you let out a little more this year a little more opinions look you know i'm a little bit idealistic but mostly in a healthy way it is not too idealistic to say we can behave with love and respect catch the old stuff and work on it

someone triggers you don't don't deny it don't minimize it don't justify it you can try but be careful with that look at it where's it really coming from and heal it but don't just okay now i don't hate you as much or judge you as much to compete with you as my that's not the goal where's the and i love you i love you you are my spiritual brother and sister and i love you that's going that's what's going on in the world why the hell intense tests but guys that's where we're all going this

world is going to get pummeled more and more every year until people learn to take responsibility to and look at themselves rid themselves of that and build on top of that a on now a healthy foundation a new world a new life one where we assume the best about each other we affirm the christ presence in each other rather than fault-finding and you know because all that is is in my littleness i have to find fault in you so that i don't feel as low now it doesn't work for me to just think that i'm higher than you it when

i'm judging others it keeps me down too so now if i heal my stuff with you the anchors are cut and i rise to higher consciousness not by by proving i'm better than you that that binds me to you so many people that have well intendedly tried to cut cords with people they didn't like the very not liking them actually re-establish more cords to them because that's what psychic stuff does my unconscious stuff towards you it builds these cables you know not just cords cables and those cables go with us through

lifetimes so back to where we started why do we incarnate siddhartha buddha gatama why do we incarnate desire what kind of desire the desire to heal and remember who you are that do you see the difference in what i said old school religious people say that he said you come because of desires human naughty desires which makes buddhism a fundamental religion now because of your interpretation and preaching that to others but think of the difference of the meaning that's you still using the same word desire guys what does it mean

the desire to heal that look at how different that is the desire to end that pattern with that person why did you pick your dad your mom your husbands and whatever because of desire well i didn't desire that my husband and wife that much you know no that's not what we mean the desire to heal with them you have a soul and your soul wants to heal our soul wants us to remember our real self this is like this talk is about the heart and soul but it's also about the battle to remember the real self okay that's it the battle to remember the

real self wow why why is it a battle not not really a battle it's really you don't have to fight it you just accept 100 accept who you really are and gone done but it doesn't happen generally jesus says in a course in miracles or another way i could put that is christ teaches in conscience christ consciousness teaches us the the commitment to awakening should not be a painful experience but it usually is that's again that's unfair why does the ego get to talk loudest why do we have to have challenges on our way towards

awakening well you don't have to have them ready go be done with them be over them ready go you know it's that's why it's challenging that's why it's called a battle that's why in the gita krishna is talking about it in a metaphor of battle that's why of course in miracles uses world the world is like a battlefield that's why they use these harsh metaphors for this the jihad which is really explained in the quran a battle against yourself it never had to do with fighting other people wars it was the

greatest the holy war was the one you fight with your wholeness the resistance i have to becoming who i really am that's going to be painful to let go of not because of it having power it's because of my attachment to it non-attachment has never caused pain ever in this universe attachment has ever never not caused pain and yet we choose attachment all the time i'm attached to the way i look i'm attached to your image of me i'm attached to a certain amount of money i'm attacked you know everything

uh even i'm attached to not dying today there's there's subtle attachments there's major attachments the ones that we talk about major like say a co-dependent relationship that's kind of obvious but there's all kinds you you go and pay extra money for a pharmaceutical grade nutrient because it's going to clearly fix something and it doesn't technically you were attached attached to it doing a certain thing for you right you got to blow out in your tire well i was attached certainly to not have any

blowouts today everything in this universe becomes a temptation to be stuck to a boundary attached to it why though why why do we have attachments because we're afraid see why does this child cling to the voice screaming at it because there's nothing else to cling to it's alone and terrified what's it gonna help me will you protect me see it's a natural instinct fear-based instinct how's that child gonna say wait a minute i don't like what you're saying the five-year-old hey wait a second be still

and know i am god how's that child gonna go i hold on one second and look behind and see the presence of god it it's almost impossible but that's why we say even though the child begins in innocence the ego pummels it and that's why we say that it's called light work there's work involved but it's also what i would call maturing what we call the spiritual path is actually a maturing maturation process spiritual and psychological why didn't i just say spiritual because while you're

on earth it's also a psychological process that's why a course in miracles is a book on spiritual psychology it's not a book on spirituality your spirit doesn't need healed your psyche does because in your psyche you believe you're something less than pure spirit so really it's we're mental no um you know it's really an issue of the mind the mind has to be healed when i say the mind i don't mean the thinking cognitive mind i'm talking about consciousness my thought processes and my beliefs

together are my consciousness my thoughts and my beliefs combine to become my consciousness and my consciousness is sick when i choose to forget who i am my ch my consciousness is healing when i choose to remember it everything is that forgetting or the remembering depending on which one you're feeding or serving you'll always know as i said you'll always know which one you fed by how you feel do not get all tempted to say i'm not feeling great today when did i make that guys that could be lifetimes

ago your ego doesn't want to disclose everything you know the ego is very governmental everything cloak and dagger everything hidden you know lies games you know so don't expect to know if you happen to go click i remember this thing i did a year ago and it's right there it popped right in there you go instant knowing or good do not become obsessed on knowing the details be at peace knowing that there is a detail that somehow this is an old wound coming back an old pattern of beliefs or whatever of mine that it's up to me to heal so i see

it i own it this is unhealed wounds of whose of mine yeah but they did they did of mine put them on the altar you can't put other people's issues on the altar you can't ascend because of all the judgments you had on other people you know that you you put on the altar i don't like this about them and here here it comes mother holy mother divine mother i'm going to give you you know there's this and they should really eat better and i want to put on the altar i'm going to i'm so spiritual i'm going

to put all meat eaters on the altar so that they can be healed by you god you know and god's like eating a steak peace to meat eaters blessed are the meat eaters for they shall inherit the earth you know um that's not how this works you don't ascend by putting other people's issues based on your judgments of their issues on the altar it's how much of yourself do you put on the altar how much of ourselves how much of our erroneous the false thoughts you know it's easy to say you know we

get in a group and the sunday serves sacred sunday serving we pray and we meditate and and we need to be kind we do but if we don't leave different it's it's still hypocrisy integrate integrate what you hear today leave we'll leave with at least one thought of one person that you're giving to god and not holding judgment anymore or about yourself you know whatever it happens to be give you know surrender something a little bit today every drop that we surrender to god every drop that we cry out sigh out

every drop that we give up can be replaced by the presence of god one drop at a time becomes a puddle the puddle becomes a pool the pool becomes a lake the lake becomes an ocean the ocean becomes a universe and the universe becomes our consciousness it will start a drop at a time no but i want it quicker then do more drops that's it one decision at a time one choice to not hold on to the belief that you or anyone else is other than god created them to be how do we deal with mean people then acknowledge that they it feels they feel

mean don't pretend they're not being me it feels like they're kind of mean i don't know if they're mean i'm not them that's between them and god but i feel like they're being mean what should i do about it see what it brings up in me give that to god replace it with holy presence and now you can be the christ in front of that person healing them from being mean if all you do is react and judge them for being mean all you did was jump into the mean pool with them i know it sounds unfair i know that we

are addicted to the notion of everybody needs to get their act together so i can be happier what is wrong with you people you know we should all do something a certain way and if only that doesn't work take a deep breath feel exhausted but i'm exhausted why because i keep trying to fix everyone and there's so many of them and just when i think i've worked on like 15 i found out there's 8 billion people on the plan how can i do this i'm exhausted that's going to lead to depression you take on too much

and then you get sad and depressed exhausted that you can't do it all you forgot it isn't the human you that's doing it it's the divine in you that has already done it close your eyes and accept that it's done close your eyes and give thanks that at the end of the day we've never left and all i needed was to do this work to remember that i'm still home and the annoying and hurtful people on the planet they just signed up to mirror my misbeliefs and yeah some of them did a really tremendous job

at mirroring what it's like to not feel god's presence but as i healed i started noticing more people mirroring that i am one with god right i'll close with this there's a a brilliant philosophical russian novelist that once taught he called it an underground and what he was referring to was the subconscious self but he was talking about all the misgivings and misrepresentations of life in the underground where everybody's lying to each other and so what he was really this is like in 1860 what he was really talking about was he

was seeing the truth of how the ego behaves sigmund freud loved really admired this guy he's like he's he's better at psycho psychiatry than i am this guy understands because this guy had the philosophical slant to this and one of the main points that people will remember this author for is um he said the world keeps telling you two plus two is four and it isn't it's five okay and and of course the world shames you for being right-brained and creative get with it come on get with it do what we tell you to do one plus one

is two it's always to look there's one apple one up two we have proof just because your senses eyes and such see something that looks factual doesn't mean it is so if i if i did a workshop on this and said one plus one is two right yes and two plus two linear answers and you guys all agree agree agree but what if before we got into the homework what if i started off by saying and remember this no matter where you go god is and god is one so now two plus two is four no it's five because you forgot

the one of god and technically three times three is one eight times fifteen is one six minus three is one because no other numbers are real no other numbers matter i said that at the outset and you guys keep coming up with 2 when i say 1 plus 1 because now that we've gotten here we've been programmed that this is the rule linear 1 plus 1 is 2.

we forgot before duality there was only one everything comes back to the oneness of god so technically three plus three is one go to school and think if you're going to graduate when you keep thinking like that are they going to graduate you they're not you're flawed because you're not fitting into their reality people have been taught very little about economics in school but to some degree but what they're taught is get a job sir you know work for others get a job have a meager amount of money and one of the brilliant things put your

money in the bank where you used to get 10 interest now you get one percent and they tax you on that i i am i hear and i obey and that's the human race why why don't we turn around and see god was standing there all the time saying sweetheart you are a prince and princess of the universe you're inheriting all that god is one plus one is anything you want but it all comes back to god this is all an illusion don't buy into limited income don't buy into the principles of this world you are not a victim of the world you

see but you'll never know that unless you wake up to who you are because who you're not is a victim of the world you see but who you really are can't be all the victimizations and all the wounds that we've done to each other is part of the three plus three any other number add subtract multiply divide that's this world they're all numbers and they seem to have power they seem to be real and they seem to be factual and linear there's something we've forgotten which is our holiness which is the only real

power please take a few centering breaths [Music] [Music] [Music] peace peace peace breathing affirming peace [Music] everyone on earth is going to come to the same lessons and conclusions [Music] the same tests

we'll never be able to run away from ourselves i wish god would do this god would do just undo self the false self [Music] breathing breathing i need do nothing i need do nothing but accept who i am i thought i had to fix i thought i had to fight i thought i had to repair even karma i had the desire to fix it all but wait before there was anything to fix i am that i am i am as god created me to be that's exciting i don't know how to totally wrap my mind around that but but i'm gonna go with it this is phenomenal

i'm ascending [Music] to a consciousness that i already am i'm healing wounds that already are gone and have no power [Music] can i accept that completely that's the question so in this moment i am as god created me holy at peace joyous that's the truth but if i have any resistance to that at all what would it be just imagine if i have any resistance anywhere in my being to being a whole holy being what would that resistance be and we invite you holy spirit of god divine mother please help us to see these things that

we can then put on the altar could be voices of undeserving [Music] shames guilts things i've done things done to me i'm damaged goods i'm too old i'm too young i'm to this and all these stories see what they are so that we can put them on the altar what is it in me that would impose my will of unholiness onto god's will that i'm holy why would i compete with god like this quiet honest moment [Music] hear

a voice asking you now that you know what that is would you like to keep that because you have free will would you like to keep that thought that pattern that belief would you like to keep that for another day another year would you like to keep it for five more lifetimes it's up to you [Music] or are you willing to place it on the altar the altar meaning the heart of god the holy mother divine mother giving this into the hands and heart of god trusting that she'll know exactly what to do with it i don't even have to know why i kept it

for so long but if i do know if it pops into my mind great put that on the altar too to you mother i surrender all my opinions of myself why not i was wrong anyway about them i was mistaken why would i want to keep them give them up and then what would you like instead don't just give up the old what is the new that you would like to feel instead love self-worth peace joy trust oneness pick a word or two that represents a feeling of connection with god and breathe that in for the next 30 seconds hear the words feel the words viscerally

coming into your heart and soul and then on the exhale exhale and let that wash over every cell let it wash away neurons let it wash away cellular memory let it wash away emotions and patterns and beliefs in comes the presence and it washes over you the tide pulling out the toxicity leaving you lighter this is the light of god [Music] remember the child that turned around and saw its dog was there imagine that kind of a feeling you just discovered god was there all along as was your holiness how good should you feel right now

just give yourself a few seconds of imagining feeling that level of high goodness excitement joy contentment wholeness just everything wow it's here it should feel greater than how you would feel if you won the lottery [Music] in this moment father mother god i feel your presence i am your presence and as i heal i am never healed alone i extend what i'm feeling in terms of love and accomplishment maturing to all of your children these are all my equal brothers and sisters [Music] blessings to you all every republican

democrat male female parent child every animal from the beautiful soft to the creepy crawlies all of them light of god peace to you all the predator animals and people will stop biting when someone returns peace and forgiveness for their behaviors peace peace to everyone i exclude no one from this and so it is hmm if we fail to live up to being the global center and

this isn't just about this center all of us watching a presentation like this must have somewhere in their mind a belief and a desire to become who we really are okay now if we answer that call great if we don't it's unfortunate it's going to happen anyway but if we don't answer the call we're adding to the problem and we're adding to the stalling and and more time of pain and suffering in this world if we answer the call we speed it all up switching things over to the light of god the world is no different than myself if

i'm feeling bummed today how long do i want to take to see it own it surrender it replace it and give thanks how long do i want to take to do that well it's the same with the world how long are we going to take we can speed this process up ascension can be in one split second it can also take a million more years i don't have that kind of time so why why play with it why mess with it why why drag it out and hold a resentment for an extra day please know that i'm not shaming you for feeling hurts and resentment see that's

fine guys everything in its time okay if you hear me or other teachers telling you about you but you have to forgive please never hear and interpret that as my shaming you into forgiving when you're not there don't it's don't be there continue working on stuff cry talk about old hurts and whatever it happens to be the day will come where these things don't have the power they seem to now or at any other time in your life okay yeah it's beautiful it's amazing if i do this work if i if i do the work to act

the love the the christ presence then i'm actually channeling the presence of this thing the bible says will wipe away all tears i will become an embodiment of one who wipes away tears lifts burdens from people's shoulders that's my goal i become this lifting the hearts and souls giving hope to people well that sounds like a great inevitable thing right if it's going to be inevitable then it has to start at some point to become inevitable so why not start today be be different than others who gossip

or hate or judge or compete that doesn't mean shine you know polish yourself and pretend you don't have those thoughts and feelings own them surrender them replace them give thanks thanks for the questions you guys asked the you know yeah all the stuff even the word you asked about celebration during the meditation when i said imagine it should be greater than winning the lottery you know really try to feel and imagine you know you're like okay well if i won the lottery what would it look like it's the same as finding god

was there all the time wow yes there should be that feeling it doesn't mean you have to stand in your chair and scream but it's there should be a feeling of aliveness right aliveness that said it doesn't mean that there won't be challenge and contrast the more you wake up the greater the test to match you because the ego doesn't go geez you read a good book i'm done it just goes oh really i'm going to light that book on fire i'm going to get your partner to throw it away i'm going to you know i'm going

to create something you're into some spiritual material but you're i'm going to have i'm going to create something like your children or your partner is going to tear the pages out and put it down you know under the the the cage of the animals at the house you know it's like what that was a holy manuscript is it or are you the holy one you know it's all these tests they'll come to match just a 60-second example our this center there was a semi-progressive had to be because it's in sedona unity

church at one time you know many many years ago then then i then i came i couldn't even say that without starting to allow for it then i showed up and so we took it to another level but mastery in christ consciousness not just kind of a nice progressive version of a unity which is already a progressive compared to traditional or fundamental groups so that was a great thing but here you know it was like a sedona version so it was really pretty cool in its own right but i showed up somehow we created each other and boom

it opened up to another level but 100 and something people started attending instead of 30. so we really shook things up and took it to another level but there were a handful of people that couldn't make that transition this frequency you go to at a higher level not all people can make that transition there were really you know harsh and opinionated kind of more traditional people that like to find complain about everything couldn't they couldn't go with us then we moved locations that's another

frequency you know if it is and it was a new frequency and some people wow wow dog we reached 10 times the number of people 100 times the number internationally with the streaming but here look at the number we doubled the space we doubled the bookstore and we have bathrooms finally you know the other place it was like one quarter bath for 150 people yeah but look it's like wow but not everybody can make that transition right please be prepared that not all of the people in your life will be able to handle the transition to a different

level for you raise the bar what percentage got raised and that's going to decide what frequency just like when you dial up a radio you're changing frequencies and some radio stations will come in at this frequency some at that it's the same change frequency some people will join you and come in on it and others will be gone they're not good or bad they're just a different frequency raise the bar in your life and some people cannot or will not make the transition one of the things i noticed pattern wise

is even though we had really great people that transitioned to the new location there were some that were a little a little bit more extreme past lives as nuns you know and not that that's not transitionable because some are still here and they've gone spiritual you know but some had a little bit more a little bit more that that they couldn't let go of you know the the little of the judging and the ruler on the knuckles kind of still carrying some of that and that just didn't fit you know we have people that

if you stay after service they dance naked in the aisles it's amazing it's a very different group i'm kidding don't do that okay um but now the name and there's a few only a few that oh you know they don't know what it is they go no you know i'm just uh reasons and head stuff and i've got other i got to mow my lawn you know that's really what's happening is we went here can you go there and as as a leader here i i'm a very conscientious person so as part of the leadership

i think to myself we have to be careful and be responsible you know if we dial up too high you know what i mean so it's like so i'm aware of what are we going to do and not do what are we going to say and not say so i'm i'm aware of that kind of massaging that in my mind and and when i ask you guys you say let's go don't dial it down let's go so i just go okay in the name you know it's not a we were going to do sedona scent no it's a global center all of those things are not an accident

you understand what i'm saying there dial it up go where you really are going and then what i believe this isn't making us special this is where everyone's going but they're going to get there the easy way or the hard way that's all so love to those who couldn't make the transition in our lives here but also in your life be prepared start owning that you too are the global center for christ consciousness your little network here you are your own spiritual teacher your own counselor and so on as well as using that of others to

help you support but dial up guys please don't judge those who can't climb with you love respect but don't shame yourself for dialing up don't minimize yourself and don't play small this is where i'm going and my old addictions don't fit that my old relationships whatever it is it doesn't fit bid farewell and as we're moving into the fall season it's a good time to bid farewell think of halloween as a good time to let go some of the skeletons and creepy things that you used to be married to or

relating to or whatever it was in the past goodbye goodbye love you goodbye happy halloween to you too goodbye then get ready for thanksgiving and then christmas the new you and a new year it's all beautiful symbolism thank you we're going to do our love offering please please please be as generous as you can be we greatly appreciate it your love offerings go in the if you're online it's online posted the blue bags here the wicker baskets are for any extra donations you can afford to share and guys we really appreciate what you

know there's some of you out there who do one-time donations or larger donations it really makes a difference for all that we're doing all right so peace and thank you thank you hold your love offering to your heart and recognize the outside world is an illusion what you're giving is just a form it's five dollars it's a hundred dollars it's whatever it is that's the illusion what are you feeling in your heart when you do give even if you have nothing in your hand what do you feel please try to tune in

to love and support for us because we're you love and support your spiritual center it's a symbol of you and your walk to god be grateful and give divine love flowing through me blesses and multiplies all that i am all that i have all that i give and all that i receive and so it is thank you while they're passing those around very quickly i'll share this remember chaplains are available after service to do a prayer and healing with you if you're interested in some of the other things that uh that i do we're

going to have a workshop next month i think it's the what's the date 20 something 23rd yeah so mark your calendar and and uh be prepared we're going to do a workshop on uh abundance and power of consciousness i won't get into the details yet but also when people want private sessions feel free you can sign up for private sessions with me as well as chaplains here the chaplains are available throughout any week for that matter and we have home support like if people are ill members we will have chaplains come out

if you're a member they'll come out and support in any way they can but we remember we have facebook and we have youtube and all these other places that we have presents so you can watch us more consistently