From Crisis to Christ

so today we're talking about Christ and then crisis and back but we're just going to address this the difference Christ Christ versus crisis Christ is not a Christian term let's be clear about that a lot of people get mad when I say that but it's okay that most of them don't attend here so that's all right Christ is the name of the I am presence of God in us so we have to take that weird you know Christian or religious stigma that was put on it it's thank God it's the I am presence it's

the name of God in me as Ernest Holmes put it Christ is the name of God in us if you still can't get past that just just call it the I am but don't call it something else don't say it's my just my Higher Self because you have various higher selves this is the highest so we call it something okay I'll call it my inner Gandhi no Gandhi was just kind of wise go further go higher don't just call it even the divine masculine because the Christ would not be one or the other masculine or feminine

give it a name that you know means everything it's the all absolute you can even call it the God self that would be fine because it's all synonymous and there are there's this problem though we are this Christ consciousness ultimately but something's happened we started experiencing crisis the moment we thought we could separate from love and then what's even worse is believe it or not people have gotten addicted to crisis addicted to it now this comes about in one of two ways crisis where divine and then crisis from

Christ to crisis one of two ways some of us live a dualistic life that is already a crisis waiting to happen because if you're living in dualism this versus that you know I would like to be this but I really kind of feel that you know it's like I'm going too fast what's that a Butterfinger oh you know like as soon as you say your as soon as your devoted to fasting you're like oh oh Cinnabon you know or something it's as soon as you say I'm gonna start meditating you're gonna find

something in the way peep the scry --ss it doesn't look like it yet but it's crisis because you're already divided and the saying divided we fall so as soon as I go I found my beloved and then look at someone else I'm conflicted I'm conflicted because a part of me really wants to do this and a part of me wants to do that now young and others would call these like sub personalities like the self saboteur and you could say and commit never again I am going to refuse this dualistic way of living and I'm going to be pure

all the time and you can do it it just takes it takes lifetimes and a lot of stringent hands slapping on yourself I will not think that I will not do that so then people do the opposite of course total I see instances you know just kind of taken off and know no boundaries and that's not what we're looking to do there's a there's a trick to it it's called forgiveness I am choosing to do this and when I slip I forgive myself that's the way to recenter forgive ourselves you don't find the peace of

God by enforcing it because that's already not peaceful so whether you're trying to be faithful to a person faithful to God faithful to your meditations faithful to your diet doing it stringently is still conflict because part of me would like to do this and part of me is feeling the call to do something else soon as that's happening you have a rub you have a attention an irritation and all irritations cancer is a form of an irritation it's an inflammation cancers come from inflammations inflammations come from

irritations irritations come from conflict whatever the conflict happens to be and the conflicts are sometimes dramatic big conflicts and sometimes steady as she goes consistent what's worse of course of all is consistent dramatic irritants and conflicts so there's part of us that loses Christ and goes into crisis because we're so conflicted and then there's a part of us that has this for another reason conflict for another reason and that is we're actually able to say I'm devoting towards peace or I'm devoting to

awakening Christ consciousness let's call it that for a moment I'm devoting to well we have a problem because if I'm devoting to Christ consciousness there is no duality in Christ consciousness it means I'm gonna follow love and peace and forgiveness so I stated that even if my mind tries to conjure up duality I say no love I have a decision to make which decision is the most loving in every decision I make I'm talking about I'm turning on a show and which movie most resonates with this thing that I'm

looking for I give myself my own outcomes because as soon as I know that I'm gonna stay faithful not conflicting I'm not choosing between it sounds like it but I'm not because I'm only choosing one thing that's how you create oneness create only one thing what's your goal and instead of going well I'd like this but that that's dualism this isn't that this is there's only one thing I'm interested in I don't even allow thoughts to the contrary but it's not because I'm being forceful about that

stringent about it there's only one thing I'm interested in like I'm not even interested in other things all of us have had at least moments in our lives where someone suggested something and we were absolutely not interested I mean it wasn't even a temptation you know it's like hey you ought to do this it's like it's not even there it's not like oh okay maybe it's not it's not even a possibility and that's how we get when we're truly on the path truly we can be on the path and not get that but

when we really really get another layer level of the path it's like I know exactly what I'm looking for here if it doesn't resonate with love and peace and joy and oneness I'm not interested in it the problem is in duality when you're doing the first option that creates conflict in duality you're already in the ego because conflict and duality is very ego Center but the other way we end up in conflict is not when we're in duality it's when we vow and love centering into Christ consciousness okay centering into

Christ consciousness so what do we do then what happens then where does conflict come from if I'm devoted well now in the first option the egos already present because you're in conflict but the other route is you've dared to say God I have my only goal here is God now the ego isn't just kind of the pool you're swimming in now the ego shows up and has to create a tidal wave so this is what the Christians might say you know and the Buddhists might have their way of saying in a Christian might say

oh man I became a Christian and the devil's really out to get me that you can say it's the wording it's terminology it's just terminology but truly it's the ego when you say that's it man I know exactly what I'm going for of course in miracles' would say your ego goes from slightly suspicious about you to vicious so call it anything you want your lower self your ego your addictive self but it will happen as soon as you say I'm going here so it starts to wake up and say how dare you

now sort of as an aside one wise thing to do when you decide to devote to divinity not just to I would like to become wiser I would like to become more piano casual like peaceful a little calmer those are great goals when you say God or bust you know I'm going for it a whole new level of ego shows up and call it temptation call it what you want but it shows up now if you're mildly developed in consciousness you'll get a certain level of ego showing up the ego won't try to beat you by ten times it

will only ever effort enough to to beat defeat the level you're at so for some like Jesus we hear about him fasting 40 days 40 nights we hear about him cleansing is himself and looking at all the stuff that could show up but he's so advanced and so devoted and goes 40 days 40 nights that when his ego shows up it doesn't say can we give you a little temptation and throw you off it knows that's gonna be kind of worthless so what it does is says look we both know you're pretty Wow amazing so we can't

offer you like how about a new pair of shoes it's it's you know sandals mm these are full shoes they're not just sandals you can't have grit kind of get under there and scratch your feet Jesus this is really soft stuff you know it's got padding it's like Jesus like I totally need that I'm always walking the desert you know that's not enough what is the ego say I will give you the entire world that is a compliment now you and I go oh my god you know the stuffs happening on them dark night of

the soul and I'm being beat up you can only be beat up to the level of what you can handle we just don't believe that but it's true the egos not actually going it's not capable of going beyond what level you're at so it can take you to that point and that's actually helping you tone your spiritual boundary muscles we just don't like to own and take responsibility that this is my test given by me instead the devil made me do it so Jesus has offered the whole world some of us that come to you know a new

pair of shoes or I will I will never again drink you know it's like some synchronicity amazing bizarre miracle thing Oh you open the door your friends are bottles and glasses and head Hey we're here to tell you how much we love you well I can't deny that that's love you know and you let it you let it in one way or the others people that say you know I'm swearing off relationships for a while I mean this is not going well those who don't have restraining orders on me I have restoring orders on

them this isn't going well and then Oh who's that you know this kind of thing you do you say you're devoting to something but there's really very little tenacity very little courage so the ego doesn't have to work real hard it says boo and you're right back to you know the old ways so when you get on the path it's kind of wise especially if you're calling the path God or Christ consciousness it's wise to call on Archangel Michael and there's a reason because I don't overly push in you know

go-betweens angels Archangels I mean I talk about him I totally believe in him I get that but I don't always push it too much in this case I'm saying the role of Archangel Michael is actually specific to specific to people that devote to the path because Archangel Michael says I am the guardian of the way I'm not the way the way is Christ consciousness but I am the guardian of the way and what he's saying is both good and bad news the good news is I am going to walk at your side well but my friend says you're walking at their side

yes I know I can be everywhere I will walk by your side I'm actually like a DNA like a like a almost like a neuron in your mind picture it I'm a neuron in your brain like a like a a particle of consciousness in your mind and I will activate as soon as you call upon me and when you call upon me I have a sword that's gonna help cut stuff away and keep you moving on the path I'm gonna protect you like you're a pilgrim going to Jerusalem or Mecca I'm gonna walk with you in your journey that's the

good news the bad news is you actually are addicted to some of the things he's cutting away wait wait I think I didn't want them to go there was still a chance you know you know we were still talking like it might work out like hmm little something going on Arkansas Mike Michael is like mmm you know and we'll say to you in no uncertain terms although it might be in dreams it might be in feelings it'll say to you don't even think about committing to the path and calling upon me unless you're serious if you want something

less than get something less just make your thing be I'd like to improve my diet a little you know because there's not a lot of you know vegan gods that are gonna punish you it's just like you know just get on the path and work it you don't have to call an Archangel Michael to help you with that just go ahead do you do your did wisdom development just become a little more committed to study groups on books and that's all great stuff but if you're going to have the audacity in a good way

to say God or bust man I'm going for it I'm ready to awaken my divinity not a little wisdom not could I get in your ongoing that's kind of like a little more intelligence I would like to have a little Barret better parenting all these are great qualities but all those qualities are symptoms of a greater the Christ are you ready to go for that then it's like the person that dares to say I'm gonna be the hero or hero in in a story a mythology you know there's there's a lot of weight that goes

without a lot of responsibility someone says wow you know the gods of Olympus the gods and goddesses look there's the Perseus male or female version of there's the Perseus doesn't matter black white tall short there's the Perseus the one that says you know what something's got to change here and I'm going for it oh you know that does mean some travel Perseus all nevermind then then that's not a committed soul you are going to possibly have to give up some addictions all of them well we don't know we're gonna have

to be open well as long as any when you say as long as and you start to control it it's never going to be as great as it could be so something fantastic happens when we say you know I'm ready to open up to and awaken and align with and so on the real thing to all all the way there okay all the way there and so that that Christ consciousness call it divinity now anything else even wise beings healers oh I would be like I would love to be like you know Hippocrates a great healer of Greece I would love to be someone who's great at

gridwork I would love to be the the God goddess of music I'd love to be the God goddess of art of whatever beauty our nature anything those are all fantastic things when you say I actually I'm going to align with God itself the creator of all those gods and goddesses that's a really major commitment and like even if you say I'm just kind of you know getting in touch with the Buddha nature that's a heart chakra the highest of our human chakras heart chakra awareness love oneness humanitarianism compassion Wow

it's fantastic stuff I'm getting in touch with my heart nature I think it's a great thing to do and we all have to do it at some point to say my divine nature chakra wise is like going one more to here where you are the Christ center here not the Buddha Center not the other Center this Center it's the Christ Center on going to the I am the spoken word of God and and that doesn't mean people are going to appreciate it because when you start stepping into that heart and mind you step into anything and it's fine

do something guys do something other than I'm just a mere mortal step into you know what I'm going to start nurturing better skills and parenting better skills of this that's fantastic then go a little further I'm actually feeling like I'm getting in touch with the God goddess of myself and improving I'm gonna become the God goddess of nature of music or whatever great that's what you have to do anyway that's our journey back to the oneness of all you first become a God goddess before you

become the complete the divine again lowercase G's in that case that's why it is lowercase cheese because it's still humans becoming like a new level of mastery so that is actually a natural thing that nature itself our soul itself is trying to get us to do that's why we get put through tests like the Perseus of Mythology we're going through tests to refine ourselves but most people approach tests like guess what's happening to me like it's an external thing given by an external source an X a

partner a friend gods out there it's something Nate you know a biological germ it's something happened to me you can't talk about others while on the path to self it doesn't make sense it's contradiction I'm really starting to get in touch with myself except I don't like you why are you talking about you there's what you are you talking about if you're trying to get in touch with yourself they're a part of you watch the contradictions this is gonna be harder than I thought okay but I'm gonna go for

it the god Christ that I am I am the spoken word of God how did that go over for Jesus not real well are you the son of God you know the Caiaphas the Pharisee says I am those are blasphemous words to hypocrites to humans they're blasphemer how dare you you know proclaim to be a god it was blasphemous legally to them you know Pilate Pilate was intrigued by Jesus because pilots kind of like you know we got these gods that were supposed to worship but they're that nothing really happens they're just statues you know they can't

actually sit down and talk with you and you know yeah it's just they're statues you put energy you know but they're still statuary you know all through Rome they've taken what was once truly God goddess archetypes in the universe and they've made him into carved a stone and Pilate understood that so Pilate could feel that God presence in Jesus so he was trying to work him and get him to say just tell me what to do like he was almost looking for guidance from Jesus help me to not follow the human rules

and crucify you so he's asking him questions and messing with him you know what's the truth no answer because at some point Jesus realized and wanted to show us there's a point where people are so committed to not liking you stop talking to them when he really when he's saying to them you guys are so committed at first he's trying to be nice well Jesus what about this yes what about that okay then he's he's saying you know let's just be honest you're just gonna crucify me anyway so I'm

gonna just go ahead and stop answering your questions that's what you have to do your parents your kids your you know whatever it is your employer's your employees your friends background people from the past if people in the future stop answering to the ego the ego that's there to crucify you just stop messing with it cuz they're already committed to not liking you that doesn't mean enable it or make let's just go for it let me give you something else to hate me about I'm not saying you feed the anger but

just recognize all of us know when something when a friendship is done you can tell and people will try to fish a little to see if it's still there I'm a terrible friend to have in those kinds of situations because I'm gonna be done and I'm gonna say let's just see this is done I do let things go along for a lot further than some it's not like I just quickly snip I might let things go a long way but when I can see you are committed to finding a fault or not liking me that's when I'm done when I

see that you're that committed so Jesus stopped speaking and I'll stop whatever it means to stop in in my own life or in my own case it's like no I can see this is done I've had it happen where somebody said you know Michael boy I really kind of jumped off the cliff and started hating your judge bad-mouthing you and so on but I'm really sorry about that you know and I said that's fine thank you no problem but we're done not because I wasn't forgiving him forgave him but we're done because I knew he

couldn't come back from that I knew that his I would always be watching for that flaw that he originally saw and then asked me to forget that he saw I knew that his mind was already gone if ever you can see people that committed don't don't hurt yourself trying to resuscitate a corpse you know to where you I mean you can do CPR do you know you can do CPR to where you can't feel your arms anymore that you can't even do it anymore arms will be totally limp you would want to try and you can't they're gone and

the officials will say you know gotta let him go you tried so you just have to know did you do what you could and done and so these people you know they're working in they're trying with Jesus and he just went silent and he's living this life and when he answered words I am that irritated people and he used those words specifically I am because I am means God are you the son of God I am boom and in their soul they're going man we don't like you but is it because they're hopeless and evil no he still

stopped talking because that's what you have to do sometimes sometimes he talk talk sometimes he didn't sometimes he should sometimes you shouldn't which one to do at what time you better be asking for guidance in sight but the audacity in a good way to say I am is it true you are the son of God I am that because that means are you the creation of God do you really believe that you're a creation of God I do I really am and people don't like that but it's not that they're just hopeless they're also

mirroring your own doubts they're testing you and your psychological muscles when people are annoying and not honoring your musicianship your clarity you as a counselor whatever you're doing they're also mirroring your own doubts it's I don't think it's easy at all I don't think it's fun at all to go through those kinds of tests but they are parts of our there are ability testing ourselves are you really are you really like for example when I was a kid you know and I thought you know God

there's there's got to be a beautiful way of parenting you know and I didn't get that but man there's got to be away universe says really we'll give you a couple of children let's see how you do with that you know it's like pop pop oh my god you know and now I get to test it tell other people how they should be parenting have your own oh and can you do it and I really did I stepped up as best I could to really live that kind of life but really bringing all that I speak and preach and teach to that level but that

was not an accident that was the universe saying can you bring it all to this level so we go through these tests there's a there's a an equation you've heard of e equals MC squared and then people get all kind of you know it's all scientific and you know what does it mean and it basically means energy e equals MC energy is really and now remember energy is a thing it's not the absolute God is not energy like people think it is only in the measurable universe do you have measurable things

like energy and vibration God is in matter if it's gone it's just got its God it's an absolute so energy equals MC squared is energy equals mass that's vibrating at the speed of light I'm just being simplistic about it so energy is this mass that sets the speed up what what this also means then is that when mass slows down it's an energy that had to slow down enough to see it as mass but it also means means if mass vibrates high enough its energy so when you're talking about dealing with crisis

this is interesting because the more dense a crisis seems to be have or to be the more density is the more powerful and dense the more the perceiver has to have lower the vibration at a mass level to see the mass if we could see challenges in crisis from the consciousness of energy you would see it from a higher place so see things from the Christ self and the mass oh look at that because starts to raise its vibration and it becomes energy that you can walk through not a wall the disease you can't heal a problem you can't fix and so on

and so on everything just raises vibration this is so applicable that even when you're talking to two people they're in crisis you it's what it is even though they're just talking it does it's not dense mass having a conversation of conflict is still a density compared to an energy the energies won't hate and they won't fight and they won't compete so this is happening someone can still observe it and say I'm going to see this from this place more from an Christ or energetic level and

I'll see the answers you'll see solutions any time any of you have gotten an insight even if it's a lyric in a song a part of a poem a solution a herb for an illness anything something happened where you had to have raised your mind to a level to hear an insight that was not part of the problem is that making sense now if I can make it a habit more and more to come from the Christ consciousness that's even beyond energy that's why I've always said when Jesus walks on water you can say that's

simply an equation the mass is water but he's gonna vibrate at light at the speed of you know but light at the speed of light rather he's going to be energy at the speed of light so he can do things that are unusual for mass so he sees it as a density not a liquid and can walk on water but what people don't realize is this not this is not magic in the sense of manipulating elements this is another one higher it's not ascended master consciousness heart chakra this is Christ God consciousness in the earth

so it's very easy because you don't say okay this is water I better work hard on this okay water is solid water sandy you are solid solid solid salt I'll do my manifestation technique and then visualize myself and then he walks along the water it's not an effort it's not an effort when you get to the Christ consciousness there's not an effort even angels will sometimes seem to have to do effort to do things that's just figurative partly but that's how it feels in the god consciousness there's

not an effort there's a knowing not a hoping not a just a believing a suspecting no there's a knowing and you and I are obviously if we're hearing this talk it's because we actually partly believe this already majorly believe it partly but on some level we have to be open to it and that tells me that when there's problems I can get into the grind with my head and try to solve that problem with my head then Einstein who gives us e equals MC squared and and that even that squared part is funny because it's

almost like energy that's trapped and stuck is what mass is energy has really just mass that's stuck in in a square in a block and what are blocks its structure old ways belief systems squares like this saying in the 60s man you're a square that just means men you were energy but you're acting really squared you know you're really being limited and stuck right now go with the flow but there's the three levels there's the mass there's the energy and then there's God and God is not brought into the equation

really it isn't you can say what the speed of light is the closest mankind could know to what God is and that's why Einstein said I believe on close very close to proving there's a God mathematically that's pretty cool but you can't actually prove it mathematically you can only give the the theory mathematically and it's still going to be something people would contemplate with their heads their brains and their minds to a degree it's something beyond mass and then beyond energy at the speed of light okay it

areas the pure light not the speed of light the speed of light is still a measurement of something it's the something beyond and that's God so when we learn to say not even just to okay then Michael said use the Christ so I'm gonna sit here and make my Christ self perceive the situation you're still there the best thing is ask the mother ask the Holy Spirit don't make yourself be divine just call on the divine that already remembers and know your divinity and you'll be anointed then you'll have your insights the

awareness is you know it's like wow I don't even have to actually try I all need to commit to going there and calling upon the power that gets me there and that's not the same as the old superstition begging God for things as though God's outside but it is the humility of saying me that thinks I'm talking like in many Buddhist exercises you're trying to strip away every layer of the you that thinks you're thinking so this quickens that instead of exercise technique after technique

exercise after exercise to keep peeling away the me that thinks it thinks and says you know what never mind let's just go to the me that remembers who I really am and the it's the mother that does that it's the mother that says thank you sweetheart I helped birth you in the first place you reinvented yourself became all kinds of weirdness and now you're allowing me to birth you back to what I birthed you in the first place and that's what it means to be born again letting the mother the Divine Mother birth the real

self I call it the Divine Mother and I'm very happy with that term but other people have another term for it it could be Shekinah or it can be the Holy Spirit not the one the church made up the version they forgot that it's ashy and they forgot it's it's a divine essence it's the mother and she loves us other than you know rather than the the Holy Spirit's you know gonna get you kind of thing was she what's she gonna get she's my mother well you know you were you've been she doesn't love you

anymore who's telling me that get behind me Satan she told me I have a face that only a mother could love you know metaphorically meaning I've been places have done things Wow that I could I could be tempted to think I'm lesser I lifetimes or whatever we've done she cannot actually see any of that it's impossible for the divine to see the undivided she wants you home and that's all it's about she only can feel not see with eyes she can only feel honey what's going on with you guilt shame guilt shame guilt shame

would you like some help with that no thanks okay and she just waits and there's a point where we all have a pain tolerance and we say I need some help that could be the form of I can't believe it I'm going through a legal battle divorce or someone's done such and such to me or my body I can't believe I'm sick or whatever the case may be those are the symptoms the bottom line is I have forgotten Who I am because if I totally knew who I was everything else would fall away like in the the great sci-fi

and mythology movies you know Highlander you know light starts glowing and all the other stuff falls away and you're like ah you know that's what happens you know that's what happens you start glowing of the real self now when that happens depending on how much I really got it and how much I'm really committed to this process layers fall away but layers could fall away maybe it's 30% of my layers that's amazing but I still notice that a week later I still have some little bit addictions and some little stuff going

on don't condemn yourself for that don't shame the the Enlightenment experience you had don't say I thought I had but it's okay just see it as there it was and I keep welcoming more of it the fact that I even had it ever once in any lifetime in even the beginning of time I was a divine being I still have the right to remember that divinity we can't actually lose who we are we can only lose our choice to see it to think it to feel it to own it and all the people that seem annoying in our lives all they

are is manifested temptations for us to forget who we are yes they feel inconvenient yes they feel annoying but we have to ask ourselves and why did you succumb to it if you think they're so out of line why are you fighting with them about it it's okay shake the dust off your feet as Jesus puts it and walk do something else go where they want to hear you and I don't mean your ego self I'm talking about when love comes through you and it's too much for people sometimes you stand there in the

love and you take a little bit of stuff from them because you're melting them and planting seeds but if you've gone past your ability to handle you're supposed to walk stay any longer than your ability to handle and you have now abused yourself and then don't be telling me how much all I love my tea and you know you just prove to us you must not love yourself as holy as you could or should because you're allowing things to go too far and become you know weights on your shoulders burdens in

your heart all of this has to pass away so we learn to say you know after all this is said and done I still don't know exactly how then listen ask that's all I'm saying ask the mother well what does it mean by mother you don't even have to know what I mean any amount there are people who are absolutely atheistic or agnostic people that are rude and crude and they have done this vulnerability prayer that the prayer of the Divine Feminine fine they've done that that's their mantra fine whatever and then they're telling

you oh and then I saw the clouds right I saw angels and oh my god all these amazing things happens you're like bloody hell I'm always praying I get on my knees yes Jesus you know when you do all and I never see anything cool that's kind of a drag you know it's kind of Affairs they they won the lottery after doing whatever prayer and you're like own money upon me prosperity own money prosperity you know and you do the chant and you go and seven eleven people are looking at you like dude what's up

with you you know I think he has a tick or something cuz he's just repeating this just these words as he's buying the tickets and scratching and you win nothing you win nothing and it's all okay because your repetition from your head isn't nearly as powerful as one moment of I don't know help me vulnerable do vine femp because Divine Feminine is what births the Christ self just like Mary births Jesus the Divine Feminine how do I find her where do I what's our number wait Divine Feminine calm okay and then I'll

you know hire that person as my guide no the Divine Feminine where do I find her your vulnerability just your honest little ability to say help the word help me help has actually been recorded as the last words someone called out before they experienced a miracle a major life-changing life-saving miracle and they were like I didn't even have any spiritual background there's other people with robes velvet robes and you know you know and oh and they have no miracles happening which makes them irritable but you know they smack your

hands with rulers and all they're just irritable because they're not having miracles and then someone down the street who doesn't even believe did you hear the answer but they had a miracle and just imagine how they're feeling inside I pray like we're pretty close they're homeless they wear rags they only wear clothes we give them you know and there's this resentment because it was never what's supposed to be in the head isn't that cool Jesus is saying you must be as children

to find the kingdom of heaven what does that mean humble sweet help me Mommy I mean a child would have no problem pick me up you know what does God like God is it's it's not even measurably a number of times greater than the best of any parent so when you say help me mommy or daddy how is God going to say no even an average parent wouldn't do that this is God so besides all the thinking and all the cool things we do never forget the simplicity on how to get home Hedrick you set your course for home

and to do so help me Here I am how many times do you do it every day it should be not just a prayer it should be your attitude there's moments I could be doing just even something mundane I don't know whatever it is though I'm gonna put bulbs on a tree I still will remind myself hey why don't we just ask help me you see it just put it out there nice humble but the last shall be first that humility isn't the same as religion taught us humble meek because I'm I'm really quite unworthy no it's humble

when you're humble in a real sense you're bowing your ego so that you can rise into the I am but you can't birth the Christ I am without the humble mother help me gotta have that child like mommy help it's so beautiful and so simple and so natural if you think about what it means to be as children I am the way I am is the way I am the truth I am is the truth the I am is what we should all be going for you can always settle I'm saying that's no problem I think it's wonderful to become wiser more

intelligent a better this a better that but everyone at some point is going to realize why anything less than everything why do I want to just be a nicer male or female what about both what about as within so without when you see me you see the father as Jesus puts it meaning see you see God sounds arrogant but in fact it's well know it would actually be arrogant to think that I'm anything but what God created me to be I mean I've been there certainly no it's you know and everyday can wrestle

with that that that humility oh you know you wanted lay low you want to be humble you want to but I'm not saying your grandiose that's a an ego based grandness but there's also a false humility I really don't deserve and you know so those moments those moments when we run into that you have a question to ask yourself Who am I as God created me not look what I've become but Who am I really bow the ego-self bow the one that makes up stories about how great you are or how terrible you are bow those and then

rise and say you show me and when you rise you show me there's always something beautiful and that's where we get the symbolism of Christmas the the tree you know and the tree is my self it's my Kabbalistic tree I'm the tree of life I am the tree I can be the tree of knowledge of good and evil meaning egotistic or I can be the tree of life meaning awake I get to choose then the Christmas tree what do we put under it presents always in that cool you get presents well no it's the presence of

God not presents it's the presence capital P and spelled differently the presence of God Wow so in my Christ mass mass meaning my my ceremony of awakening my Christ self with it comes gifts if I choose to awaken my I am presence oh my god I'm a better parent I'm a better this Summa better that it just makes total sense who's going to be you know finding nothing under the tree other than the Grinch the ego that is afraid and hurt and pouting and wanting to take everybody's gifts away nobody can be

happy it's like strange instead why not treat yourselves why not all of us treat ourselves the way we would if we were given the care of a child that we loved sweetheart what would you like for Christmas does it ever say can I have toys that are like a bummer no it's I would like things that make me get excited not excited like an an ego stimulus way things that make me happy it's a symptom it's a symbol so let's bring things that make us happy no longer relationships that just oppress us wear us down and then people you know

counseling as much as I do there's people but it just takes so long to find those that's fine that's fine then settle and we'll be having counseling sessions about that you know I I went to a website terrible hookups calm and you know and and I was surprised that it didn't work out but that's what you're putting out there for so what do you really want to have I want to have really beautiful okay then become what you said you want show integrity show love and sensuality show peaceful in the show spirituality is

that what you want from others you have to be that because they can sense it in you but harmful people can sense victims why do I keep finding narcissists well look in the mirror and you'll see the asite narcissist wanted you know you don't believe that not me because every day I meditate with amethyst somebody that can't be there if you haven't healed the patterns like dad was an arson mom went for an arson dad went to her narcissus my first partner my unhealed wounds my first girlfriend boyfriend

we're narcissists if you haven't healed those what would make you think it's gone it's a sign outside of a store you know and you pull up and wait you know why would there be a different store it still tells you it's a Chevron station or it's a crystal store or whatever you don't pull up one expecting the other the sign tells you people tell you vibrationally where they're at take your time and grow relationships and that way you'll get a more mature one you know you can't just I've said this many times

you can't just go out to the parking lot and take a tree out of its pot and sit it on the pavement and say we have a tree you do not it can't take root it's going to die and you're gonna be surprised that's your relationship because you stuck something in place look at me I have a partnership no you don't yes I do I stuck it right there in the middle of the parking lot it'll be dead soon and you're gonna wonder why did you find the right location for the tree did you ask nature what is the calling

where would a tree fit in this and that's thinking to my I would a relationship now tree fast food has nutrients I mean there's really no nutrients you don't go god this is great whatever I'm not going to name certain locations but those burgers you know I've never had a hamburger in my life but those things those stacked up burgers you go burgers fries soda mmm you don't take that down and go god that was amazing it was a lot of vitamin D D B complex the way let me check oh he was there DHEA you know and you it doesn't

it won't tell you that if anything there you know bio static which means just there flat sometimes by acidic which means life destroying you're actually having foods that destroy yourselves which is fine do what you want but don't pretend it was nutritious don't tell me you ever relation I met somebody last night this one's for sure my soulmate in fact we went to Vegas thing I'm married so that means it's real it was real so real Elvis perform the ceremony it you know I would be like I'm sorry to hear

that no I'd be like a bummer of a counselor I might try to be nicer not you know and oh good for you but inside I'd be like oh god help you it's not real you want the Christ life then commit to the Christ life and do your best to stay centered in it does it involve a lot of work call on the mother to help you does it involve your efforts at all in the sense that just keep micro-adjustments you steer off a little come back steer off a little come back starting to get a little anxious if I need somebody in my life then have a

little somebody just like have have what do you want now somebody to hold you they have a friend hold you then so you have that and stop complaining about it and try to hire somebody to be that permanently when it's a Vegas wedding just reach out and you can supplement now and again you don't have to never have fast food have it if that's all you could get today have a relation to have a friend hold your hand no but but you don't understand some gals have said to me you don't understand but I want it to

be a male but I want one that I can trust and I've tried bar after bar and it's just not working and I don't get it you know and I'm like bar after bar okay I don't understand how you might have missed it okay I've instead told people what is what a man you know just to hold me what magnet pick a mitt do you know any many other friends but some are married and that would be weird and some I don't know if I can trust them I've said to people how about a gay man and I've had gals that have done

that because maybe there's not agendas you know maybe try something I don't know any of them either try a galvan well but I but I want them to be a look bat masculine at her find a lesbian stop making excuses ask your girlfriend to feel to own her masculinity and hold you do something because if she holds you and accesses her inner male energy which we all have and we all have the FEMA let her do that let her hold you nice and strong not just soft too soft but give her that feeling then when you've gotten that and

that integrated into your being in your consciousness something more will be given and then some but don't start sabotaging everything at ground zero nothing will come of it more and then more and then more will be given you start somewhere you give thanks and own that it worked your heads gonna go but it's not the same stop if you do that you'll sabotage it and you're flatlined again so back to that was very nice to your girlfriend thank you and again maybe the next week we'll do it thank you that's so cool and and maybe

that'll grow into something maybe it'll grow into a safe male a friend and then that'll grow and that'll grow but the things we want come from our commitment to them not our fast food in them alright let's take a few centering breaths setting aside all stuff of life and of the world [Music] let the sounds take you inside [Music] [Music] father mother god we feel the call to step forward to a new level of

consciousness we give thanks that it's our right to say yes or no to that calling thank you for giving us free will but our will is only free when we choose the divine so we choose you now [Music] it might feel invigorating it might feel frightening but right now we're going to feel a blanket of safety and warmth around us a blanket [Music] protect the mother safe hole at peace

[Music] [Music] feel your body relaxing into the safety the blanket [Music] feel your body swaying slightly safe [Music] feel feel their mother singing to you holding you safe

no male no female in us [Music] but if we only feel safe and grateful here her singing lullabies [Music]

and take the hand of the person next to you as she sings to us what's it like if you're the presence of the mother now that it download is a hand holding folks online hold the hands of people with you or your own hands your own arms [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music]

[Music] [Music] and we feel a deep gratitude my goodness my goodness to be that loved lovable and loving that's love complete I feel different I am different therefore I will be different and so it is don't stir about too much let it have time to integrate nicely done beautiful