Feeling Like a Victim

hello there and welcome to our Friday night spiritual insights with Michael Mayer dad appreciate you joining us in our relationships we tend to feel like victims so I want to talk about feeling like a victim and and I don't want to say being a victim because being means we are I want to say feeling like a victim so feeling like a victim let's just be brief with this and go historically what what it means to be a victim please be patient because a lot of us don't really understand what it truly means to feel

like a victim I want to say first and foremost when somebody says to you stop acting like a victim shaming a person for feeling like a victim shaming a person for feeling anything is just not really helpful it's not appropriate but it's not really helpful shaming someone for longing for love shaming someone for feeling sensual aroused shaming someone for having a history of hurt you know in trauma shaming someone for wishing they were say you know a different gender taller shorter thinner fatter I mean

shaming anybody for anything isn't helpful so let's not go in that direction I'm just going to talk about the whole concept of being a victim feeling like a victim so in a nutshell there's this concept of God and we are the children of God someone once upon a time there's God and no children of God there's God God then says it feels so wonderful being a Divine Being that what I'd like to do now is extend expand upon myself make more bliss make more love make more God it's I'm a creator so let

me create so God here the concept of God is here but then in God God creates something more it's almost like expanding God what expanded God you and I our presence expanded the presence of God so God didn't create us and then say I'm gonna put you over there there's no there God is everything that can be all that can truly be which is only good you know we say no there's good and evil there's up and down no that's our concepts in the world of duality in God there's no this and that

up and down male and female there's just one mnestheus and that's hard for the human mind / brain to get but that's how it works so there's God and then within God we're created and then we're part of that bliss and we're kind of digging it we're enjoying this this feeling the sense of oneness being the Christ that we are and so on and then we we say to ourselves I wonder what it would be like if we could be outside of God what would it be like if we were not one with God now you

could have all possible thoughts you're a creator and you're made in God's image and you have free will so you can think any thought we collectively are thinking everything because we're one at that time then when we decided to say I wonder what it's like to be separate all thoughts create so all of a sudden the Big Bang took place many of you have heard me say this but the Big Bang took takes place and the universe was created and then we started wondering what had we done we were once one with God and

now all of a sudden there's this big fiery explosion like can you imagine what it would have taken to create the universe an explosion beyond human comprehension took place an explosion that is greater than every planet every star every nebula every anything it universally every plant every tree it's in every dimension the whole thing explodes to reflect what it's like to be separate and it's not only every the energy of every planet every Sun you know etc it's even all the space in between so this big explosion takes

place and it's terrifying because there's peace of God and all of a sudden boom what what did we do oh my god we thought a a terrible unholy thought we thought what would it be like to be separate from God so now we feel so terrible we say to ourselves and I mean I wish it's easy it were easier to convey this horrible historic event it's horrible in the sense that it feels like it happened in reality God's reality God didn't experience this so if we tuned into God this all disappears if we live connected

enough to God gradually the world that we miss created fades and the one that is still God's starts to come back to us that's what the whole spiritual path is all about now the Big Bang takes place and we say oh my god what what have we done it seems seemingly done but what have we done this explosion everything's blasted apart and we're starting to think that it was heaven that blew apart it wasn't heaven it was actually just an imagination of ours that there was this thing happening it was just an

imagination we were just imagining this making belief that this was happening but it felt felt real it explodes and then we say this feels so horrible we loved God and we just blew God's kingdom apart we just destroyed everything's like oh my god what have we done and so we then said I don't want to feel this I'll do anything to not feel this what can I do to not feel it I have an idea I'm not going to take responsibility I'm going to get rid of this feeling and we said we're gonna create not a God not

God we're gonna create an opposite of God God that could bring us home I don't want to go home I've destroyed home and God may not realize it yet but when God figures we figures out what I've done you know it's like what mom and dad get oh my god you know what if you know look what we've done to this place and we've all kind of had mom many of us have had moments like that where we accidentally you know broke something or whenever it might be I remember one time was kind of a funny

story home from high school I would always go home for my high school because it was about 20 houses down from the school so just walk across the street down to my parents house you know and my mom's I would usually go to and go inside and sit down and watch Get Smart there were double episodes at those in those days so they would be back-to-back that was perfect so that's my our lunch so watch back-to-back episodes sometimes friends would go hey let's go over to Michael's you know and hang out because it was close by so they

would bring their sandwiches that their moms put in their little paper bags you know and all that and they'd sit at my table and I never ate those things peanut butter and jelly it's like you got to be kidding me oh my god I wouldn't even I would never even a fight so I would always resort to my mom's pantry she had great stuff in there so she had something called boxes of dream whip it was like she could have just got me cans of cool whip but I it was dream of I had to actually get the stuff in a

thing and stir it up you know and and that and I would just sit there and spoon it's like a Cool Whip kind of thing so he that would be my my lunch we I would be doing that each day while we're watching Get Smart my friends would eat their food and you know that would be it for the day so one day we saw that there was a wasp nest getting created up above and my parents in my backyard my patio so we're like okay how are we gonna get that and then we're acting all like paranoid boys you know we're like oh man you know I don't want

to get bit you know and everybody's kind of thinking this so I said all right I got an idea I'm going to spray the nest there they're gonna go wild and start chasing you guys time this because after I do that I'm gonna run over here by the door sliding door I'm gonna pick up the nozzle the hose and then I'm gonna jump inside and if they're coming after me I'm gonna hit them with water okay but then you guys shut the door we got it time we went over it several times and long story short

Spray him they went nuts ran picked up the nozzle just as I was supposed to ran inside got ready to spray them they shut the door and I started spraying when water just walked out the door the the curtains that were there away everything and I mean it was funny as heck that it was like Three Stooges it was like comedic because the timing and the wrong and the door shuts you know it was just perfectly weird so we think to ourselves oh my god what's gonna happen when they get home you know so we dried it as best

we could but they never said a word you know but we think to ourselves when we've done something really off what what it's going to happen and you got to imagine we think of God as huge and I mean not physically just powerful beyond comprehension so when we say to ourselves we've destroyed heaven there's this huge force that might be mad at us that's kind of the psychology of it take what you thought your parents might do when they if they knew you got stoned you got drunk you got how you drove

drunk you you know you got an F on your reporter whatever it happens to be you know just think about it so do that and then multiply it by it by what a trillion or what amount and that would be how we felt so we said we got to deal with this we created the ego to cover our tracks we said look you're now going to be put in control I'm making you and now you're in control you're gonna be my my my out of control general I'm the the president or Emperor but I'm going to basically go into seclusion I'm gonna

make you my crazy wizard my crazy general kind of go nuts and destroy the kingdom like many you know stories and mythologies where it happens some some bad guy sorcerer and you know ruining the kingdom and the Kings just gradually you know going numb and so on so that's what happened we wouldn't take responsibility now now what happens at that point I didn't do it who did I don't know just like guilty children I don't know so we didn't take responsibility but we had already judged ourselves for having

done something horrible so not only did we think separation we sadly judged ourselves for it instead of forgiving we judged ourselves for it so now we started feeling guilt and shame created the ego to cover our tracks and that all leads to when we didn't take responsibility the only way you could there only route you can take when you don't take responsibility especially I mean that that that means for good things in your life but also not taking because that the the direction we're going today not taking responsibility

for harms that have come to us or that we've caused others either way when we don't take responsibility what happens is you become a victim a victim can't exist if someone took responsibility so the roots of being a victim is not a bad person it's not a whining person it's not a weak person it's not anything that people tell you you know lacking to take responsibility or being a victim it's simply the lacking of taking responsibility why would I not take responsibility always because I'm afraid

so a person that's a victim doesn't need to be verbally beat up what they need is love and compassion they they act like victims you know then and yes on this earth or there's a lot of that you know how everything hurts me oh I don't want to take care of myself oh I'm sick but I just want to cough all the time and not do anything about it you know I want to complain about my muscle ache but I won't get it worked on you know or I'm allergic to things but I won't do anything to to heal the allergies you

know so it's better to not bleed out your your being a victim on to other people which is why sometimes I recommend you know just be a little tactful about that sort of thing you know I don't tell people every little thing going on in my life or you know whatever it might be I just kind of brush it off and keep going because you're on this planet things are going to happen but yes you take when you're playing out the victim you're going to magnify the victim if you bleed it out on others if you whine a lot and

you're going to turn people off they're going to get kind of annoyed by hearing you all the time so I don't recommend that you go out of your way to be it that is externally a victim the roots internally not taking responsibility it doesn't matter you know stub your toe and go oh that stupid curve listen to how often people do that you know they stub their toe and oh that stupid thing I've tripped on that stick it didn't even do anything it's just sitting there how could it be stupid how

could it be a damned thing how could it be anything it just sits there you know so being a victim is a form of insanity and I don't mean that the extreme psychotic sense but it's not far from that because we're starting to dream up that other things have power over us so the reverse engineering you could say is we're on the outside saying I caught this cold somebody I got a germ from somebody okay that's externally what it seems like you're sir you're a victim to a germ I mean this is a germ that you

can't even see and yet you are this creator made in the image of God and also this you know big human being and a germ that's smaller than anything you can see with your eyes actually is stronger than you that's you know kind of interesting I remember there was a commercial done I forget to exactly what it was about but where a guy sees a bug and he goes to spray the bug you think it's a spider and the spiders arms you know even though it's tiny reach up and grab the guy and start boom boom boom

just you know smash them against the walls it's a funny commercial I probably about pesticides or something but but it's funny because that's everybody's fear you act like this germ connect we control you and hurt you you know be careful that spider might reach out grab you and start smashing you around be careful because jaws might swim into your swimming pool through the drain people are afraid to get in the water I mean it's pretty it's pretty weird pretty insane and you know God in its

infinite patience sits there thinking wow these are beings I created and they actually conjure up germs spiders all kinds of things and what happens is because you and I separated from God we actually think that we're so ashamed guilty flawed that we deserve punishment so the the engineering coming into this is we thought we separated etc etc big bang takes place we come into this universe we've created our ego and to cover our tracks so we're going to come into this world we're not going to take

responsibility for the separation I didn't do it do you any of you remember the moment I mean if I asked a hundred of you maybe one but most people don't remember the separation it's really out of our memory you might remember glimpses of it or feelings of it but really it's too much for the brains for the mind to reflect them because it felt so horrible so even the worst worst worst attach of catastrophes owners that make up that make us kind of go oh you know get squeamish it's making a

squeamish because of what it's reminding us of which is the set everything's negative is reminding us of the separation deep down that's what it's connected to so we did all that we came in not responsibility instead now we're victims we don't remember what happened all we know is we're here and it was probably someone else's fault that's why in the Garden of Eden story Adam blames Eve Eve blames the serpent you know and you know that's uh that's not responsibility so basically what

happened they're all victims of each other and so that's how you and I live it's like and it's please don't get the idea that I'm telling you to stop doing any of this because it's next to impossible to you know someone comes up stick them up stills your wallet runs away the police show up are you gonna say well a funny thing happened I don't remember doing it but on some level I manufactured someone coming into my life and taking my wallet holding me up and all that probably some issues of low self-worth

you know and reflecting mirroring back to me you know etc I mean that guy's gonna be calling a mental hospital to put you in because this isn't gonna sound right at all they're gonna say did or did someone or did they not steal this from you well I guess in the illusion it looks that way by the human eyes which are completely deceptive as all the Yogi's teach officer but who cares about that the reality is you know etc etcetera it's it's not gonna go well so again moving into this yep

we don't take responsibilities we SM News we don't do that then we're victims of the ego each other nature the universe gravity pulled us into this earth plane now our victims of our astrological configurations once we're born we're victims of our families genetics were then victims of the psychology of development or victims of drama trauma as children young adults adults then we're victims of our partners that we chose but of course we didn't choose them it just happened because it was

meant to be and we you know we they snuck in on us they they didn't tell us they were this type of person that type of person they made us believe that they were wonderful we're always innocent victims and so of course in miracles' for example we'll say if you took responsibility you're going to feel horrible because of the things the many things that have gone wrong in this world and in the universe and so on so what we do is not only not take responsibility there's another stage we don't take responsibility but

we become victims and we think well I'm a victim nobody's gonna hold it against me that I have problems I'm only overweight because my genetics I am only underweight because of my genetics I have only lost my hair because of family genetics I have a stutter because my mother has I have this because I'm autistic because everything is because and I understand that we believe in all that but everything's got that and then there's even past life karma in the illusion guys all of this is true in the illusion

there seems to be these propensities not denying that but it's only in the illusion the illusion will be dispersed you'll have power over it and all healing for example miracle-working if we stop believing that the illusion has power how well not just because you say I no longer believe it has power we have to actually forgive the world that we see so that it's released and then it begins to bow and it's master which is us so pretty amazing the way this works but not only did we become no not taking

responsibility we become victims because now we're going God you know we left heaven but maybe God will have sympathy if we're victims oh god I wish I could come home to you but oh you know I still have some karmic stuff to work out with my axe or so on and then there's one more stage further that we fall in in terms of spiritual psychology not only victims we became innocent victims now this is important see you can kick me and I can kick you back and you could say did anybody see that I'm a victim of

him kicking me back but if I say did anybody see him kick me first it would just ruin your case because they would say you're not a victim of him kicking you perpetrated it and they came back to you so there you go so we can't just be victims there's one step further innocent victims who don't take responsibility take responsibility you can't be a victim and you can be an innocent victim in the other way around is we're just pathetic poor us we're not going to take responsibility

we're victims and now innocent victims innocent victims means not only am i a victim of somebody but there nobody remembers how it started nobody remembers what caused it so that way there's no evidence now I can say Oh clearly especially when you and I oh I did nothing to deserve this I was a faithful wife for 40 years I gave my life I served my children and now they won't even talk to me and I'm not making fun of you I'm saying this is how we do it you know and be faithful to my partner found out they were cheating

from day one and it's true and it sucks and it's a dragon it's hurtful and it's rude and it's selfish I'm with you on all that that's that's what it is factually speaking but beyond the factual to the deep deep deep psychology of this victims are people that already feel flawed and attract harm I'm not saying you should be mad at yourself for it just practice taking responsibility and you don't have to go okay what did I do wrong forget it you're not gonna remember most of the time all you need

to do is go you know I know on some level I played a part don't know what it is but I played a part just that much is enough just owning a part is enough you don't have to take all responsibility full responsibility it's all my fault and make perpetrators into Saints that would be insane itself I guess it wasn't them after all that person raped me I guess I was asking for it on some level I guess psychically I must have been saying boy I would love somebody to just abuse me like that that's gross and I'm

not asking you to treat yourself that way I'm saying more like somebody did something to me and I'm suggesting that you say something more along the lines of and I really know is you've heard me say many times that I refuse to hate them I'm willing to learn what I can permit and affirm that whoever it was there's a light in them God's light and I release it all just that much the middle one was the tricky one that I'm saying which is I'm willing to learn what I can learn so I didn't say where

did it come from confirm that you did something wrong and deserved it what's your karma don't do that don't make yourself guilty err adding guilt in a form of trying to take responsibility is not real it's not healthy so what you want to do is just do it more casually more innocently more in a sense that we're all playing a part and I'm willing to own that I have a part somewhere in this not a part like bad guilty a part meaning there's something I can learn from this and it might be something very linear III got

date-raped and maybe I need to know not to go and get stoned out of my mind in a bar with strangers that's a linear example and a very you know clear vivid one it's not always so obvious sometimes it's you know something like I've never even been to a bar it's the first time I went and somebody harmed me in some way it's not like I was doing this all the time and that's my lesson it's you know to cut back on that kind of action it's more like I didn't need I've never even

done anything like this so maybe you felt guilty for doing it for the first time and that puts a signal out there too creepy people to hurt you so it could be all kinds of things just don't dwell on that only focus on what can I learn from this and work with counselors and healers that can help you maybe navigate that a little bit but if I take responsibility I'm not a victim if I'm not a victim I can't be with the worst case scenario an innocent victim the word innocent victim I don't mean it

like a true innocent innocent in quotes victim and the innocent victim is the one that says no matter what you do you will not find any responsibility on my part no lessons that I can learn none I was simply a victim and not only was a victim I was an innocent victim poor me it just happened suddenly it came upon me you know my partner left me and and I can't even imagine I was I was the faithful I was loving I had dinner ready every night it said her so it was I totally caught me off guard so I'm an

innocent victim we're in fact you might have had dreams coming to you telling you that this was happening you might have had warnings your partner might have tried to talk to you about it you might have been told two years before you even met your partner that from a psychic you might meet someone down the road and it's not gonna last they're going to be deceiving you etcetera there's all kinds of ways you might have known about it now if it were me honestly I could say but I didn't have

any advance notice if I were the type if I could say that given circumcised I can say I didn't have conscious notice I wouldn't even bother saying it even if I don't have advance notice that I recall I would just say but damn I know me I know us we're a little psychic all of us we know it comes to us in our dreams it comes to us in feelings in hunches etc and psychics have told us and you know spirit has tried to warn as etc etc and plus the behaviors of the person you know we could just tell that that they

were the type of person maybe they were ripping us off at the office you know this business partner they might have been taken we didn't want to know you know an example I've shared before in my life so I'll share it again at the risk of repeating a story but very briefly you know though the woman that I was married to from like roughly at nineteen eighty to 90 she had dyslexia and all kinds of kind of learning disabilities and and that was partly brought on from traumas as a child and the thing is she was

supposed to be doing our bookkeeping you know and I don't like checkbook and she bookkeeping and banking it's it's all just uh you know bit heavy dense energy so I had her doing and long story short that she did this for years and years and years and I mean she was always like 90% of the time mistakes were there she was adding things up wrong due dyslexia she forgot to enter a check I had to every month I started having to go through and find them check she didn't put in there figure out what they were deduct and

then know our real total hence like one year there was a thousand dollars in insufficient funds charges thousand dollars that's a lot of whatever it is $30 $15 charges back in those days I mean that's a lot of charges guys and you know I got frustrated and I'm trying to talk to her about it it's a good you know what are you doing and so you know it's like what what are you doing and the poor thing is like well I did my best I'm sorry etcetera etcetera and then she said you know maybe you should

do it and in that moment I realized I have a choice and the choice is simple have her do it and not complain anymore about the charges or do it myself and I realized I have to take responsibility I'm not I mean clearly on an external level I'm a innocent victim of her mistakes and she cost me a grand a year especially in those days that would have felt like I'll heck up a lot of money for many of us but instead of I I realized you know what I'm avoiding doing the bookkeeping I don't like it and I'm avoiding it so I

put it on her and you certainly it's right for her to pitch in and do some things in the partnership but she's dyslexic and I knew that and I I'd rather just not have known about it and let her just keep doing it so my own desire to keep my head in the sand and not do something that I just preferred not doing put her in the position of doing it and didn't want to know the karmic repercussions I was an innocent victim no I participated on some level in that and I think we kept her doing the books

for a while longer and just with less frustration because I accepted that this is okay that this is what it is I chose to be comfortable because I dislike more doing bookkeeping than I dislike paying the charges so one way to learn to take responsibility is to say do I love this more than that do I dislike this more than that you know and make it a conscious choice but certainly if you say I don't like this you know definitely dislike this more than I dislike this then you should be making a certain decision because you're clear

about what you like and don't like so you know I I believe that that really helps the mind shift to take a responsibility it's not easy because we like to about everything and complain and you know blame everybody and it's hard not to you know if you say can I borrow your car and I say sure but that Street has nails on over there was a a giant nail truck that just turned over there's nails everywhere do not go that way go that way you get in the car and say okay and remember go right he's

the metaphor of go the right way right as in the right mindedness right right righteousness right you don't get the person really set got it got it we're gonna go that way got it they get in the car you know all the tires are blown to thousand dollars later with tires or whatever they cost you know it's like wow what are you doing well I was driving the car you know he said I could borrow yeah I know but you went left I thought you told me to go left what do you mean you thought I said right I said righteousness I said

right consciousness I said right mindedness I use right in so many forms oh I thought you said which hand do you write with and it's my left you know and those kinds of moments just make you go oh you know it's gonna be frustrating and you can say never again will I lend a car know if you lend it you just have to know something like that could happen it's still frustrating you love and forgive but did you learn anything yeah you know I can still love the person and say I'm not gonna lend my car I can

still love the person and say you know I prefer you not being the person to choose a movie when we go to a movie because you you choose horror movies and I don't like them you know you can say no to things it's just healthy simple bow but you have to love yourself before you know how to set boundaries the less you care about yourself the more harm you're gonna put yourself in consciously or unconsciously even if it's inadvertently you're going to get yourself into harm's way because it's

reflecting my lack of love for myself or my total love for myself what I see on the outside reflects the inside again please hear what I've been saying today I'm not blaming you for feeling like a victim because we're constantly feeling like it we're constantly looking like victims absolutely in this universe the egos the setup this world that way and when you say no no I'm going to refuse to hate I'm going to learn what I need to learn and I'm going to see love and others it really renders the ego

impotent with its attempt to throw us off track okay so forgive yourself every time you feel like a victim every time you're tempted to feel like a victim pause and say in this moment I'm actually being tested to ask myself whether I am or I'm not the Divine Being it can't be divine at a victim at the same time so please choose right choose holy consciousness choose to see yourself as God created you to be and I thank you for your time today and remember I've got a Facebook page Friends of Michael Baer dad you could

join that group please do if you feel like you'd like to connect with spiritual family if because it's a beautiful group and we share feedback in questions with each other it's not one personally we all kind of post cool things and share things and ask questions and so on so and even offer answers so join us with the Friends of Michael Muir dad it's called Friends of Michael Mayer dad and you can watch hundreds of my talks for free on YouTube I also have DVDs and books and things like that on my website Michael

Muir dad calm so you can find what you're looking for one way or another alrighty god bless you all and thanks for being with us again bye-bye