Dealing with People Speaking Negatively

hi there it's time for our Friday night spiritual insights with Michael Moore dad so thanks for joining us I want to talk about how do how to deal with people speaking negatively about us that includes gossip obviously but people speaking harshly about us you know what do you do with that sort of thing it you know it's very important for us to understand that you know the good old Ten Commandments thou shalt not kill thou shalt not steal you have to understand that those are multi-dimensional statements they're not

linear laws like they're they've been treated it's by so many different people and cultures and religions these are multi-dimensional it's just that very linear people heard them and interpreted and left them that way but it's still if we're multi-dimensional we can change the meaning to be the way they were originally intended which is multi-dimensional so for example thou shalt not still what does it mean don't steal things from people thou shalt not kill don't kill people it actually also means thou shalt not

steal or thou shalt not have any other gods you know it's kind of like that what that means in terms of our behavior with each other it's like saying thou shalt not have any other gods would mean that I will not see you less than as God created you to be or else I'm projecting false gods onto you you see thou shalt not steal I will not steal from your reputation by speaking harshly about you or gossiping about you thou shalt not kill I will not kill your reputation through words harsh words gossipy words see that's how these

things you know could go now I could just do a whole talk off that I can just tell it's as it's coming through but I won't but hopefully it makes enough sense to kind of launch you into something there and in educational e so when it comes to hurtful statements and you know things like gossip it's important to remember that it isn't God that's talking through people when people are speaking hurtfully hatefully and some people say it's not hateful to gossip you're exaggerating no I'm not

everything is love and hate everything is love and fear everything is God and not God everything reality and illusion it's it's not like there's gray area really so it's best if we focus on just even if you think there's a gray area get as much out of the gray as possible get to the light and if I'm speaking harshly about someone try not to justify it as gray area just recognize it's not God therefore it's not who I am I am that I am if it's not God it's not I am it's what I am NOT this isn't the real

me doing this this isn't God me this is a broken me this is a fear-based me a competitive me a hateful me but it isn't the god I am but I'm also not addressing your God that you are by talking about the God you are not the false the you know the ego self the the part that I can find flaws with so what conversations do you want to have you know we can all probably agree watching this program I want to have light and love and we're all going to slip let's not pretend we're just always you know

bright lights on this planet we're all gonna slip you know you get a moment of you know a little something inside you know and a little thorn in your pod that just makes you oh you know and you kind of lose patience and and gossip or whatever it happens it's no big deal you know we just do our best to bounce back when I say it's no big deal it's no big deal meaning don't don't slay yourself over it don't punish yourself just bounce back how the simplest thing apologize and make amends well what if

I'm talking and gossiping about somebody that's not in the room how do I apologize and make a mint do it to the people that are there and say you know what you know I I'm sensing that I'm not coming from a real healthy place right now so my comments about that person probably were not appropriate and it might be coming from some of my own triggers and I'll take a look at that so I apologize and and I ask that you guys not to take that not take that on as truth there you go now does that mean

they won't take it on his truth no they have a choice in the matter so I'll talk about that in just a sec but if it's not God when you're gossiping about me or speaking harshly and hurtfully to me if it's not God speaking I wonder why we need to take it to heart why absorb it in your heart and soul why get so devastated when people download evil like that the only reason we can take it on is because it's rubbing up against some of our own wounds you know some of our own doubts it's true

if somebody says you know let's say you don't like a particular thing even even astrologically and even when we look at archetypes of personalities you know you could say each of us in our archetypes and some of us are blend which is a little higher you know to be blends of all these archetypes but when you're a particular archetype or sign of the zodiac let's say you're gonna have a little more of propensity towards a particular thing one is going to be a little more I don't want you putting

down my sense of purpose another sign might be I don't want you to criticize the way I look another sign would be something else so what I'm saying by that is we all have maybe different sensitivities by nature quote-unquote but our divine nature doesn't have those sensitivities it's like immune so it's important for us to recognize you know when people can one thing for us to look at is which things that people come at us with which of those things most get us so someone says you know you have a terrible hairdo you

could be like who cares I mean that's just lame no thanks for sharing but get out you know where where when they say something that may be about aging and you just you know for days you're just like oh in the pits we should watch for how devastated we get and how often that happens meaning our most recurring pattern it helps us to look at ourselves yes this could be a talk and I will talk about what to do with others who do it but also let's look at ourselves and why we're vulnerable to it so if I really

get clear about Who I am trust me on this guys please if I Know Who I am in my Christ God self do you think I'm really gonna care that that you you know you don't think I make enough money or you don't think I have a nice enough house or you know I mean I would be immune to that you have criticisms of different kinds you know and and I think that I'm definitely not describing the idea of us creating thick skin I'm not talking about us becoming cold to people's feedback that that if you go far enough with that it becomes

personality disorders sociopaths and Psychopaths and what do you know nurses that they don't care you can't get through to them about what you know what you're trying to say even if what you're saying is constructive they won't hear it so I'm not asking you to become like shut down to feedback in life it's good to hear feedback but it's important to recognize where's the feedback coming from so if I am let's say walking very fast across a slick surface and someone says be careful you're walking too fast

I could be like who do you think you're talking to don't tell me how fast a walk is that god I doubt it and I could say both but they're criticizing how fast I walk and they're making it sound like I'm careless well who said all that that wasn't even in their words well I know that's what they meant yeah you might be projecting you might be reading into them you know saying that you mind you if they said it and meant it rude why still why does it bother you but what I'm leading to is I wonder there is a

chance that God is speaking to me through them in the sense that maybe that was a forewarning that I was about to slip do I really have to get angry at everything people say or react to everything or take personally everything they say I would say first ask yourself if there's any truth to what they're saying any value to what they're saying you know if they say you know to me you know I get feedback from one person two people three people and if it's of some sort of harsh nature I think it's worth

checking it out I'm not saying they're right or they're wrong I'm saying it's worth checking it out right inside I wonder what I can learn from that wonderful what I can gain from that you know breathe it in and check it out you know because we're really often hearing from other people we're hearing you could say almost projected demonstrations about our own our own inner battles anyway our own inner conversation some of which we're we're ignoring we're missing and so it's

coming in the form of people speaking it to us externalizing it it's called all right so when someone gossips when someone particularly gossips or speaks hatefully or hurtfully remember that when someone speaks it to you and or when they speak it to someone else there's a process that we go through and it's really important to understand this process in in short we have to recognize we created hearing it as did other people when they hear it about us they created hearing the gossip they get to decide you know whether to believe it or

not it's a choice then they have to decide how to respond to that right do I believe it then okay how I respond to it then you know they can go into other steps after that okay now how do I respond to it and then even even choosing what actions to take respond meaning what am I going to say to them when they're doing it the fourth would be what actions to take how do I proceed from here what will I do with this information and the fifth choice is can I choose forgiveness and repentance can I choose you know it's not it's never

too late to say sorry you know it never never is the movie that said love means never having to say you're sorry with it's just stupid you know it's just stupid it's it's I know it sounds so romantic because what that means is love means never having to take responsibility it's what it means and people are like I like that line and they made it romanticized but if you really think about it's quite disturbing love means never having to take responsibility love means never never having to care about another person

enough to apologize if you've heard them it's just ridiculous so sorry but if I'm bursting any bubbles but you know go to a different website or Facebook page or whatever and watch things that enable anyway so I'm being facetious oh you know it's it's gossip and it's hurtful gossip is not I'm not talking about positive comments that's not gossip gossip in the traditional interpretation is hurtful comments you're passing along something that will breed more hurt or hate or something towards a person hey

did you hear so and so lost their job why are you saying that are you really saying hey did you hear they lost their job isn't that a drink can we do anything about that do you have any positions open to ear place that's not usually what they're doing with their gossipy they're saying did you learn that you know did you hear they lost their good job what does it mean why are you telling me this oh well did I just thought we could have a good time you know firing and some more that hate off on to the person's

not hurting enough let's talk about them losing their job it's not healthy it's not healthy in any way so the first step as I said they created hearing the gossip and when you're hearing gossip you're creating hearing the gossip and it's really important because to understand this because usually at the roots of hearing gossip deep inside the person hearing it it means on some level I'm insecure and if you can help me tear down someone else it helps build me up that's one pass part of it another part

I'm hearing gossip because I've been looking for something to help me tear down that person not just to make myself feel higher but you know there's something going on it's like I'm looking for a reason to doubt that person you have a let's say a healer or a spiritual teacher or an author and even music bands you know it's like the world just waits for someone to fall you know the Beatles and they're famous you know get number one hits again and again and again and again for years and then they

decided you know what we want to do something really deep with music really deep lyrics really cool and it doesn't go to number one it only made it to the second place on the charts now the world and the critics oh look at that knew it couldn't last you know even though it had already been five years or four years or whatever oh we knew it couldn't last they had to fall they predicted they would fall after two months so they were all wrong they're not gonna say we were wrong they're gonna say whoo

thank God they fell cuz now we're not all bad that's what people are doing so they said they only made it to the second position okay and it was a terrible song he didn't deserve you know number one cuz it was just Strawberry Fields you know that what some say is the greatest single ever recorded so you know it's like only to the second position but some people are like wow but the Beatles said we were quite relieved because it was gonna happen at some point but each song we're writing there's a pressure you better you better

you better you better and so when they finally don't reach number one at least George said was quite a relief it's like okay now that's done now we can do anything now can go to one or two it won't matter ever again we don't have the same pressure ever again and so that's just something to keep in my people are looking for a fall of yours or mine in whatever we're doing if you have a perfect record athletically you know there's someone watching to hope you slip you know you you know great

athletes teams that win a lot you know people start resenting them and wishing that they would lose you know and you know that's whatever that's the politics of the human brain the human mind but I don't I just don't you know buy it and another reason that we're attracting gossip is that worth wanting to feed our ego so wrong item number one that we create you you don't say I was a victim of the gossip that came and told me that I I wasn't even wanting to hear that careful be responsible be responsible

I must have created on some level hearing it does that make me a bad person no come on it's all right but why did you choose to believe it if in the second item did you choose to believe it you didn't have to and then the third item what did you do about it did you step up and say no to it or did you take the bait you know did you take you know did you get let yourself get hooked so you know we should ask ourselves well I wonder why I was in such a low state of mind or being or consciousness that I would have

acted cuz we're on step one still attracted hearing the gossip you know it's it's worth looking at even if it's about a political leader you know it could be about a world dictator I don't care whatever it is anger is never justified says of course in miracles' hate is never justified it's understandable I'll add that it's understandable someone just does horrendous things it's understandable you'd be tempted to be angry hurt scared it's a it's understandable to err is human and hate

is an error however we can breathe and say I get it I see it you know part of me is reacting because this is close to home this person is bringing up a lot of anger at work and I hate hearing all that so I started just going with it you know blend to blend in so I didn't stand out and besides I didn't want to have rocks thrown at me for not agreeing with them and things like they gotta watch your own agendas in these things alright so the second item as I already said we choose whether we're gonna believe it or

not we choose it no they convinced me no they didn't no matter what they said you had a choice to believe it or not let me let me segue somewhere else real quick just for a moment there's a saying when you're gonna speak if you're the one doing the gossip ask yourself if what you're saying before you even say it are you sure it's absolutely true if not then why bother saying it I mean really are you gonna are you gonna defend the idea of speaking falsely has any merit like something that's not factual you

know I had friends in high school I remember and they used to get a kick out of starting rumors I mean they'd start rumors just to see what would happen and it was absurd what would end up happening one time I was playing sports and got kind of severely injured for a moment and I say for a moment whatever that meant but I got severely injured and and I got you know carted off and the next day at school people were like Michael I heard you were dead and I'm like all this time it took me a while to figure out who it was and it's those

guys again hey did you hear Michael yeah he died and people are like whoa and the shock and the dismay and whatever you know and I'm here I'm walking around and be like I heard you died I'm like what you know it was maybe a couple days or whatever after the injury and sighs back at school but I started hearing these rumors and and you can think that's cruel I think it's funny what they were doing because they didn't do anything overtly hurtful like to actually harm someone but it certainly was mischievous

and playful and it's amongst us and so we didn't mind being the the you know the brunt of that little thing but the fact that you could get away with it is kind of disturbing you could just make up anything and people believe it so when you say I chose to believe it when you speak these words is it true if not why even say it if it's true also is it loving is it true is it loving is it necessary and sometimes I add one or two extra item to that but is it true if it's not factual then why say it

secondly is it loving we can usually can't get past that one like no like kids you know no it's not loving then you shouldn't have said it should you know I shouldn't is that it you know we're caught because you're not gonna be able to justify hey did you hear you know Joe Blow lost you know his girlfriend did you hear you know Sally sue got dumped at the altar is it factual yeah she did get dumped at the altar is it loving well maybe because um I'm trying to tell that person you

probably shouldn't date the person that dumped her because they'll dump you you can try to get away with calling that loving third is it necessary and most anything along the lines of gossip would not be found necessary it's not it's not loving it's not necessary just just you're not going to make it through this gauntlet of love this gauntlet of light to test you on what you're saying you know so I tell you about an athlete and did you hear that they're they cheated and they

don't really you know they're not really any good or whatever they're always on steroids do I know that factually no but I heard then just stop is it loving no cuz I didn't like the athlete anyway so I loved talking about him and is it necessary necessary how well is it going to affect your life for the better does it bring you closer to God for me to tell you about that you know probably not so just that's a quick survey or a quick test litmus test to what you're saying back to hearing gossip you are hearing

it and you have a choice whether you're gonna believe it or not so once again is it factual is it loving is it necessary use it on the recipient side too no it just doesn't it just doesn't hold water I probably should just you know I should probably just let it go and you know or when you you know people are talking about you they chose to believe it now you have to ask yourself a friend of mine heard negative gossip about me and it confused them it devastated them so you're making them a victim of the

person to gossip and to a degree they are the other person did the deed right but guys think about it my friend who's devastated about hearing this about me chose to believe it please hear this they chose to some of you are gonna say family members one sister did this against that my mother did that against my dad and right but those people chose to believe it and if I were you I would say to myself wait a minute if they chose to believe it how much of a friend are they how faithful and loyal are they they should have come and asked me if it

was true you know but they didn't why I've heard all kinds of stories as to why people say well they would just deny it did you give them a chance because you have to give people a shot before you can say it's over or else you're gonna carry that that great area with you as a you know darkness in your consciousness you'll never know for sure what they would have said you'll just assume which is assuming a negative which is a negative you'll carry so instead you know well why else would you not have

asked to confirm it you know some people have said well I was afraid of the reaction well then you probably should prepare yourself before you ask hey is it true that you're a terrible person you know or think twice like like for me I don't have to really do some of this gauntlet because when you start gossiping about someone else I already have enough information and I don't need it about them I don't need to go prove it about them or disprove it I've already heard all I need it's that you this is you're

the type of person that's hateful do I hate you over it now I'm just now aware that this is where we're at I'm aware that this is what you bring to the conversation and I'm not interested and I'm already gonna be a little bit sober about how I converse with you I know that may sound harsh to some of you but I'm saying you know for me I just get clear as soon as this is happening I know I don't have to buy into it go test it which is still good to do it's better than nothing I've already advised doing

it but for me I just nip it in the bud and start with the person who's doing the gossip you know maybe I should have thrown that part in because I don't want y'all to try to jump to this short-circuit part here where you just short it off you know and cut it at the bud because the other is what I'm asking you to do but you can get to a point where you don't even have to you can tell where you're not believing crap that people say you're not really that susceptible to it so you you know you're

healthy enough to just snip it right now instead of going through the other pieces and I'm suggesting so they chose to believe it or not you know you could just basically you know ask yourself wow you know what what darkness in me failed the test and chose to bite the Apple of gossip you know the apple of of hatred what in me was so weak that I chose to believe this dang it you know I slipped got it now I'm gonna straighten myself out I'm gonna maybe go to the person if I've done harm and apologize but the harm

isn't just to the person you may be gossip Durr enabled gossip to you also with the person who gossip you might go back and say something like you know the other day you said this and I really got a charge out of it they'll be like you know yeah me too no let me finish because I was realizing it was really triggering things in me whether it's to about them or not don't know and I'm not there right now I'm here you see what I'm doing is teaching you that you should have done this too

and I don't have to say you should have looked at yourself first that's corrective again don't be corrective until you've corrected yourself get the board's out of your own eyes before you address the splinters in someone else's so you know just and also it's a tactful way of doing it showing them God you know that really triggered me and they're gonna be all about the other person you don't know it triggered me and I it made me look at some stuff of my own and you know you were telling me that they you

know left their children in the hands of their wife and no money and you know they're selfish person that they are and it really brought up some stuff for me because you know God you know my dad did that in our family and so I kind of reacted and you know and I probably added some comments or I shouldn't have cuz I wasn't clear I should have really been speaking about wow that happened to me and I need to go look at this and instead I bit the Apple and started going into the the you know falling from

grace and gossiping about that person and I didn't mean to so I want to apologize and I'll do better next time you know they're gonna be like what are you from Mars like this is normal I gave you gossip you're supposed to enjoy it and we're supposed to take off on it and make ourselves feel better by making them feel worse and you're not doing that so that's that's my take step 2 step 3 like I said how you choose to respond every step I've mentioned is a choice so I hear gossip I chose to believe it or

not and then what am I gonna do now most people when they hear the gossip how they respond to the gossip is that they're at third item they're just soaking it in they're like oh they love it man bring me more Oh gossip this is great that's what most people do there's fewer we'll do something a little different which which is you know they might listen instead of soaking it in real really becoming active in it they might just kind of listen passively but not do anything to help or correct it the next

group even lesser because the majority eat it up less than that they just listen passively and not doing anything lesser than that those are the people who might offer a mild but worthless comment this is the one that most of the spiritual people try to do oh you know I heard the gossip and I just told them well I I just I just don't believe that period or oh I didn't know that you know how is that helping I mean I understand you're not becoming as aggressively involved in it but it's really very

typical worthlessness of so-called and their so-called spiritual there's sooo no spiritual people and they just go I'm so loving what I hear gossip I just say I just leave the room that didn't help you you didn't cause more harm but you didn't help him by not helping you are inadvertently causing more harm so you know sorry to say Amen but but there is a way to respond properly meaning properly meaning helpfully by helpful what I mean is some way that brings healing or even education to the people

that might be might be gossiping in whatever form so think about it like this progression at first I would say you know mildly listen and instead of I just listened and I didn't respond that's such crap that's that third stage I mentioned but that's just garbage this one instead listen mildly yes very tactfully and you know maybe offer just hints of a different view really yeah that wasn't my experience with them you oh you heard that yeah you know how but some people say things that aren't true

see I'm being very tactful planting seeds instead of just saying slaps that dumbass knock it off it's like yeah you know but sometimes people say things you so you're trying to just in a passive way to alter their view and that's you know it's passively and then gradually from passive I move more assertively to educate so first I'm just planting seeds you could say you know in the second round or the second level of dealing with this if they if they persist again if they're persisting if

they're kind of pushing the envelope I might try to make it sound like the person who told them that was off instead of saying you're off you're wrong I might say God who told you that but that was not very nice see I'm speaking to that person but I'm making it sound like we're talking about the other the bad guy you know the real bad guy when in fact it couldn't have been them but it was them but you're saying it tactfully so again you're planting a seed off over here to the side so they

might pick it up without taking it too directly because directly a lot of people have a hard time with hearing things when it's too direct so the third thing is a little more assertive now because now you're zeroing in now you're like wow they're not getting it I tried mild and they're like they just kept eating it up and going you know and then I tried the second phase of you know dealing with this and they wouldn't hear it they wouldn't say it wasn't them I'd I know to this person's of jerkov

gossip gossip gossip and I would just try something like saying you know it's very interesting because none of what you're saying is true I know the person if in the fact you know you know none of what you're saying is true or none of what you're saying is helpful even if it might be true I don't know it but you just say nothing that you're saying is really helpful you said that the person left their family which I don't agree with doing so I get what you're saying but but the things being added to it

they did this and they did that and you know all I know is if a person does something like that they really need help not hate so how might I be helpful I wonder and if I saw the person that did the deed on the street hey I would be like how's it going how's it going you know knowing that they may have all these naughty things I would say how's it going like one time when I was a kid I was being a student assistant - at a preschool or something and my first day there I walked out to the playground

and this one typical boy probably a Republican if this was a gossip you get it hurt some girl clearly a Democrat and the poor girl democratic girl who was like all of five or whatever three maybe she was crying and the teachers were like that jerk kid he did it again and they're all like down on him you know and they're gathering their little Democratic group teachers I'm sorry but it's just funny to me and they get their little thing together oh we have boy and they're all holding the girl poor Theo I

know it's terrible I walked over to the kid the boy and said you all right what are you all right knowing he's scared he's embarrassed he's angry he's all kinds of things and I asked him if he's all right he started crying and I held him the teachers are like like I swear it was the most amazing thing they're all like what happened you know and I didn't explain what happened like psychologically what I was doing I think I was probably 18 at the time but I knew you know the fear that was in the kid I

saw what he was feeling and I knew to respond to it with hate and you're gonna lose that soul and it's not a good thing to do am I happy that he pushed down this girl no to see this little girl crying you know yeah ripped your heart out because you know there's a lot of tears and a lot of pain and I get that but I have to override that human compulsion to react a certain way and go to the spiritual mode and that's what I did so that's my example of you know you know you zero in you just go you know

wow you know that's really stranger you're telling me this because that's not my feeling about it that's not the vibe I get that's not what I've heard that's not what I know about them you know sounding like a little from a little more sane place you could say certainly a more centered place so if they push it though I would say especially if they're pushing it about certain topics which I'll get to in a sec I would say you know this is weird cuz you're you're telling me this

like it's fact and there's quite a bit of hurt like anger energy in that and I'm not sure why you would tell me something that I don't believe is true and you're saying it like it's fact and that makes me quite suspicious because when we say hurtful things that aren't true it's a form of evil and you guys are gonna think whoa you can't say that to people I don't know you know Jesus Jesus said it jesus said to the Pharisees you're liars and what you're doing is hurtful and York your

father your source of source of information your source of guidance is the devil meaning the liar the the evil one so he just cut right to it why can't you you might be more tactful you might be you know what you perceive to be tactful what you perceive to be gentle but sometimes just cut to the chase so for example you know to me it's like emphasizing the this as evil it's like some people just get really whoa that's harsh but guys it's hate it's hurtful it's of the ego if you want to choose a

different word use a different word but they're all synonymous they are not coming from God that energy is not coming from God however you want to slice it it's not but when when gossip is aimed at goodness you better stand up and if you don't today you're gonna have to do it eventually when you're in recovery and people are teasing you for recovery I'm not saying you're just a victim but what I'm saying is you better stand up and when they're saying you know oh you think you're better you're

whatever they want to say to you about your recovery it's okay for you to say wait you're saying recovery programs are bogus how many have you been in and is it working if you were even in one is it working how's it are you clean it's over Wow okay cool you know whatever like address it call them on it and then just say good for you or bad for you whatever it is for you for me it works so I'm not sure why you're sitting here telling me that my going to a counselor let's say is is is stupid am I

going to a fitness trainer is is really lame even though it's helping my health my going to a group for recovery is ridiculous and infantile how could you say these things how can you say it's it's it's it's just a money you maker for somebody they don't even take money from us why do you make this stuff up it's not true you know somebody could say oh I you went and you you you heard Michael Moore dad and and I heard sometimes you know he'll say hey please you know if you send donations they're

all about money you know that's not true say to them wait how many times have you heard him say that oh like three and how many times have you heard him speak there's what hundreds of talks just on YouTube you won't hear that you'll hear it at the end of services because it's a normal part of a a church service kind of process but his talks in general not really that often or whatever other topic it is somebody could say Oh Michael mere dad isn't he the guy that only teaches about Jesus and no well

yeah I heard he talks about Jesus so he's a kind of a fundamental Christian you're you're actually wrong now when you say that's not true and they go oh I'm sorry I thought that you know that's how humility that's like immense I love it but when they want to be hateful remember this when people hear something and to choose to believe it guys it's because they wanted to believe it that's the key they wanted to believe it and so when you start straightening them out and give them some other options do you

think they're gonna always welcome your Corrections no and that's why I'm saying at this point you're saying I get it you're saying this as though it's true I'm trying to actually enlighten you and let you know it's not true and you're shooting me down because you don't want to hear the truth you see so I would take it that way and you know take it that direction be able to say you know you putting me down for pursuing my soul's purpose oh you're into that New Age you know and

look for your purpose get in touch with your inner child they're gonna tease you and ridicule don't hate them for it do not try not to hate them for it as best you can because they forgive them they know not what they do which basically Jesus was saying these people are acting like morons and they don't know any better that's kind of what he was saying in a way I'm being again facetious about it but you know it's like they are they're acting stupid it's not spiritual it's not God it's

total ignorance and it's really lame it's ridiculous but to be expected from hurtful people and hurt people why are people hurtful because they're feeling hurt why are they feeling hurt no God you know the vast array of reasons but the sad thing is instead of seeking help they'll try to tear others down to make themselves seemingly feel better but it actually never works so you know you have the option of you know taking the route that Jesus took you know yeah you're you're listening to guidance your

source is not God your source is not love your source isn't even wanting to know what really happened your source is you want to believe what you heard and there's a reason so I would say to people you know if they really got this far to pushing the envelope yeah I could say to them this is so interesting because you told me this I told you what really happened and yet you're still telling me this as though it's true this is a great example really proud of somebody that I worked with and they I

won't get too specific but they they stopped they had to change jobs from working in a place that I was associated and they changed places to work somewhere else and when they did people are like oh what happened well nothing I needed to get a different job because of whatever oh no come on tell us well I already told you and I loved that this person one time in a group called everybody out and said this is what happened and it's some of you even in this room you came after me to try to make me believe in things that weren't

even true and and I was there I'm the one who did it and you're telling me why I did it so I would like you to knock the off and lighten up and grow up and and practice what you preach you know she didn't sell those words I added some of that but yeah so I think that was really really courageous I mean it's I'm so impressed by that because it's so rarely done and I think more people should do it and I've brought this up I've mentioned this at you know unity of Sedona and other places that I've been

where people you know they do that the gossip trip and they do whatever you know you know and if people want to know they should ask really just ask I don't go to this church anymore Michael why don't you go to that church anymore you know I don't I try to give tactful answers but when things get pushed enough especially if it's from a particular center that's acting out of integrity I won't say well I heard and I I'm not gonna get into all that and things that you know even if I believe I

know certain things I just talk more about and I don't like to make up lies either like Oh spirit was telling me to only teach in the Western Hemisphere or the eastern you know I'm not going to like make up some bizarre thing but if pushed I might say there's a direction that doesn't resonate with me I might say something like that because it's true I may not name names and pick certain examples point out certain examples but you know I might say but I'll speak for me it's very important

that it's not so much gossip when you're speaking about you I'm not feeling comfortable with this rather than oh I heard this about them it just talked about yourself in a non narcissistic kind of self-centered way you know so if you're going to walk away basically Jesus is saying hey you know rather than become becoming part of that evil because if you hear the gossip choose to believe the gossip respond to it as though it's true and add to it the gossip you're really up Creek because you're part of

the evil now and you should apologize and make amends however you can wherever you can into whom you ever can't you know just clear it man clean the air and when you do you're actually educating people that you're giving them permission you know you're saying you know there's nothing wrong with us just stepping up and saying oops you know yeah I kind of blew it I I sunk for a minute there and lost faith in that person or lost faith that they'll probably get it you know they're probably instead of all there oh they're

hopeless they'll never you know yeah I did I lost faith and the faith in them for a moment I feel a little ashamed that I did that but I'm just affirming now that that person's got as much possibility as you and I I do worry about them and that's me I'm I worry about them but it's not they are hopeless I am worrying you know so it's a little more responsible and I hope that part makes sense you know shifting gears even if you're speaking a little more directly you know what some people

might call harshly even if you're like I'm just gonna kick some butt and say hey you know what enough is enough of this stuff I'm just gonna draw the line here and say this is gonna stop here and now even when you do that and you know people aren't always gonna hear that very well but I'll tell you man when you say to somebody you know what you're saying isn't true which means it's almost like it's a form of evil because it if it isn't love then it's hate and fear and if it's not love it's not God

it's not God I'm not really interested in it and but I have to ask you why are you doing that why are you participating why are you choosing evil it's almost like you're doing the most hazardous drug in front of me and I'm supposed to go how's that isn't that great no I'm saying why are you doing that harmful thing to yourself and others when you kick butt like that and put things in its place to be honest you know guys they won't forget that next time they're gossiping even if they hate

you what you said to them each time they still fall prey to gossip in one way or another participate or whatever I swear to you man they're gonna remember that jerk who said you know you're being evil and that's a good thing for them to remember that because it's gonna wear on them in a good way their conscience they need to know that someone said there's another way we don't have to buy into this we don't have to bite the Apple off the tree of judgment you know we can just choose

something different let's wake up it doesn't mean we're being like Pollyanna yet rose-colored glasses we're you know we're saying that every potential rumor has always been false we're just saying I don't if I don't know that all of it I don't know that I want to know you know like I don't know that I want to react to it if I don't know otherwise we're just you know reacting it's a movie you know you watch a movie a horror movie like jaws and then you assume that there's giant

sharks in every body of water including your toilet so you can't go in peed because you're afraid you know that guys that's a form of insanity really so when somebody's telling you something and you don't know it's factual it's really nothing more at this point to you energetically it's nothing more than a movie how is it a movie cuz it's just a theory I don't know and even if I know what do I want to do about it add to the problem or try to bring healing to whomever's

involved so just think about it the fourth item on the list is what actions to take you know which actions to take how do I proceed from here this could be anything from maybe I could look a little further into this because maybe instead of just going I'm dropping it maybe I'll say well I'm a little concerned this is about my daughter so I am involved and and I heard that she's this or he's that my son you know or whatever it may be I probably need to check it out someone said that they saw

you know my clean and sober best friend in a bar knocking some down I think that's the phrase they use right knocking him down and you know tactfully hey man how's it going how you been great how's your you know recovery yeah that's what I would do approach it tactfully and if I was really concerned I would pursue it further you know really oh that's good man how long you been clean and sober god that's great the other people in the program do they all feel pretty solid they good friends do you know casual

like that sponsorship your sponsor a good sponsor great casual casual casual and if I really feel concerned I won't just walk away because they said yeah I'm still clean it's over I would say oh god that reminds me this is kind of weird somebody said that they saw you at a party and was it a party or you know you bring it up casually I know this sounds silly but tact is very important to approach people when you want to help or heal when you go to direct you make people back up and get defensive and

shut down I don't want you to shut down and won't you be able to talk to me so I'll bring it up tactfully if I've gone as far as I can go I'm now at a crossroads and I have to either jump in and commit or bail out and just look for another round of that later you know commit would mean all right look I'm sorry for my beating around the bush but someone did tell me this and I'm really concerned are you is it true not a chance when was this Saturday night actually the last four days

I was with my whole family at a family reunion at Disney World or whatever you know oh god thanks I'm glad to hear that see and then yeah and just say and I want you to know I'm sorry I'm not asking you like a gossip in fact I shut it down and go and ask you before I would believe such a thing if they don't like that they're still ticked at you you did the best you could find see you later you know they shouldn't really feel righteous about being angry at you because you did well but you know the on

the other hand they might say yeah and break down over it other times the good yeah and it's none of your business you know you have don't step in if you don't if you can't be unconditional about the reaction or response you're gonna get so just remember you know it's it's how do I move forward from here like I said for me personally I don't have to always go through all these measures or steps because when someone that I know is trying to feed me that stuff I've kind of heard all I need to hear you're

messed up and I'm gonna call you on that I'm gonna want to know why you want me to hate them with you well I didn't say hate them yes you our if it's not love it's not love so let's just call it for what it is you know it's hypocrisy and it's so on and so on you know uh moving to Sedona it's a small town they have a lot of that stuff here people beat each other down you know even if it's a massage therapist or a life coach they gossip often they a lot of them do a lot

gossiping tried to cause hurt because every client they get you don't get and there's it's not easy to they say you know to make a living here and so it's every man for himself you know so this survival of the fittest which is all fear-based makes people not see how they can collaborate and create more business for each other they have to take it from each other and that may not be everyone but I'm gonna say it's rampant too like 80% of the healers psychic shaman and whatever other title people carry here

it's spiritual teachers so when I came to this town I chose I'm just gonna do my work at unity I don't mingle a lot I don't go to other places because I don't want the impression of because people were saying this guy's so successful he's taking our students so I made it a point don't go anywhere because it'll look like I'm they're trying to hook people too so I just don't even do it and people still found things to make up and gossip about and when they made

things up there are people that chose to hear it chose to believe it chose to act up act on it as though it were true those people are gone and they're seen for their true colors and they're gonna be in some cesspool of kind of evil karma over it people are gonna do that to them or it's gonna have to hit him some way or another for me it was lesson in all kinds of levels you know lesson and you know to how to still trust people and lessons in friendships true and non true and so on it's on lots of

really interesting lessons I say interesting it was very painful in some ways but lessons in who are you Michael you know how much of what they say needs to be a big deal so when you're a public figure you think that it's almost necessity that you would care or that it's important what people think you're a politician you want them to vote for you you're a spiritual leader you don't want to you don't want to be seen as the opposite because that makes sense at least that's how I think

it's like I want to help people and the gossip these few people are sharing it makes it hurtful to people so they're using my name to cause harm and so I started becoming a little confused like jeez you know my name is being used to do gossiping to cause harm none of its true but why would these people believe it it was like a little kind of shocking but then I realized they'll believe it because they want to believe it and they want to believe it because they want to be able to say man this was too good

this guy and I'm not trying to brag on myself I'm saying this is what was happening verbally from people this guy is something different he's unique and we like this they had to find a way to wipe their brow and not feel so in love with what I'm doing so they had to look for a flaw and then it's like all thank God he's just like the rest of us all screwed up so now I can just walk away enough and listen to his teachings again and that also brought them away from God and Christ again not because I'm God

Christ per se you know but that's my teaching as connecting with God again and awakening the Christ so it was a way that they could escape their highest path that they could have reached so I get that still I don't think it's cool you know hurting people and all that's a kind of a bummer and but and and you know what goes around comes around but I learned a lot from it and strengthen not thicken my skin but strengthen my core about Who I am and that's why there's a little bit even more than usual it may be it's

imperceptible to some but for me there's even more of a of a I'm just gonna tell it like it is you know instead of maybe there was a little 10% extra behave you know behave myself you know to to suit what they might have needed to see and I'm saying it's almost imperceptible but I think I I'm pretty sure that I could see a bit of that there to be honest and so I kind of can I can kind of laugh at it because it's neither good nor bad it's just more like wow it's kind of cool to to be in this space of just tell

it like it is and some people I've joked as well to say you know sometimes that just happens when you get older you don't they're as much of what people think so you know it could be that too but I just see it more of a from a light place you know levity place so the last thing is it's never too late to apologize and make amends so whether I'm the gossip whether I'm the recipient of the gossip never too late to apologize and make amends and remember amends means I mean apologies are somewhat easy it should be

most people that are just can't even apologize because they're so eco centered but it's easy compared to amends it's easy to apologize amends means real amends the word repentance means to apologize and make amends and amends mean and repentance also mean I will not do this again to repent I got it I'm not gonna do this again if we slip but at least you're gonna make best effort to not repeat the same mistake hence Jesus go and sin no more so someone comes to you and says oh i gossiped about you I just I hated you

and I said these bad things about and so on and so and so and you say well yeah there wasn't really really healthy was it no and I'm really sorry well thank you I appreciate that and they say and I want to make amends meaning what you will not I will not do that again in fact I'm gonna go and repair as they would in the 12-step program I'm gonna go and repair what I can of what I've done you won't be able to go and track down each person that was affected by your gossip and that's the sad thing

there's an old poem from the seventies kind of a you know contemplative thing from the 70s it was in like Reader's Digest and it was where a guy you know tells his kid you know the kid says I've done some wrong what do I do well I want you to hammer a nail into a board for everything you think you've done wrong he let's say he puts 10 and nails in the board okay I've done that you know now what do I do now go back and you know apologize and pull a nail out for each time you apologize okay he does it okay

I pulled all the nails out because I apologize for each one I did and then he says so now what and the father I'm just summarizing the story the father says I always remember the holes are still there and that's not to sound fatalistic but it's to say you'll never be able to fix each hurt not linearly fix each hurt spiritually that's what miracles are they can do things supernaturally but it means you you won't be you know it what I'm saying is this don't do it don't cause the harm because you'll never be

able to completely clear your conscience of it because it's it's actually multi-leveled it's multi-dimensional some of the harm you've done those people have passed on and they carry that to the other side now they're gonna see clearer on the other side they may not hate the person you gossiped about made him hate but they might hate you for making them hate that person they might have had a great life with that person and you ruined that I've had it happen in my life where you know a

couple times where I was you know interested in a person you know in terms of relationship and there was one person I was you know definitely like interested and some many years ago and and and I learned you know like it's such an odd thing because somebody who was close to me made it a point to intervene because usually I have people around me that accept calls and emails and have to do all that for me but a lot of my assistants over the years they filter things really good that's healthy and in professional they have to it's

part of it books sessions not but I've occasionally one in every so many they don't do that they also screen out anything that they didn't want to see happen you know they would screen out people that they think are a threat because they might like my partner my employee might have a little crush or something or even just affection of some kind even if it's as a spiritual teacher they want to make sure the spiritual teacher doesn't get involved with anybody let's say whatever their reasoning I've had it happen where they

sabotage it you know say things to prospective people and hurt their feelings and you know Michael you know he's seeing someone else and whatever it is and and really hurt the feelings of the other person and I could say Dan you know I'm really mad at them for that and and it is it's something I need to put in put it in its place but I also practice what I just shared with you and I go why did that person choose to believe it when they heard it I told them yes I'm interested and they chose to believe

something that's because that was them sabotaging what might have been a great relationship or of some kind you know intimate friendship or whatever it happens to have been so I've seen all kinds I've seen you know it's like that I've seen all good people turn their heads each day so satisfied I'm on my way a song by yes it's an interesting thing because it's like saying I've seen all even good people I've seen all good people turn their heads each day so satisfied and it's like people will just

buy any crap and let it affect them and it's like ridiculous you know you need not do things like that you need not believe it but why did you believe it and if they find out later which is very very rare that someone comes up and owns it you know I heard this and I believed it and I'm sorry about that man that is amazing I would say it's in my experience it's probably one in every hundred people honestly that they come it's very rare and I've had it happen in Sedona just a couple people you know I heard that

stuff and I believed it and whatever the you know stuff was that these few people shared because it buried they said a couple of ridiculous things but the person would say and and I believed it but then I realized it wasn't true and I I realized I knew it wasn't true and so I'm just I want to apologize that I you know took the bait and judged you and I'm just like wow and that's where Jesus says to someone I've not seen such great faith in all of Jerusalem in all of Israel you know the amongst all the

people of Israel when he was teaching at Jerusalem so his point there was to say I'm so impressed with the responsibility factor in this one centurion and that's how I felt from the few people that have ever said you know I'm sorry I projected this or that or even if it's just something they projected without gossip just in their own head and they say I'm really sorry and I love that man and I don't even I don't hold it against them what I might do is be cautious with them for their sake so they don't get tempted

to go that direction so things like that friendships betrayals all those kinds of things you know they're they're gonna teach us you know one way or the other so at the end of the day the fifth item is it's never too late to apologize and make amends so in summarizing and kind of in closure you know people might say to you he's totally exaggerating this whole thing he words like evil and hate all I did was tell you that the next door neighbor was cut you know fooling around with the the meter maid you know or

whatever it's it's a form of evil because it's not good if it's not of God then it's of the veil evil the veil of illusion it's not of God so it's of illusion and darkness but in illusion and darkness they're sets a tone of evil behaviors hurtful behaviors hateful behaviors and it breeds more of itself so some people say I'm exaggerating but I'm standing by it saying it is a hurtful hateful thing it's a thing that doesn't bring people to closer to God therefore I'm not really that interested

in participating it I don't walk around real obsessive about it like oh you know I can't hear that you know when people say things like no you know just oh really casual sometimes they push it I'll now have to drop a hint they push it more I'll go further they push it more I'm starting to put my foot down they push it further and I say what is going on with this tired of hearing this evil you know if I had to that's very rare that I would have to go that far but I know that there are

people that have asked me in like a Sedona situations I've been in they say well you know and I just left the room great and they want me to go wow that was great but I've said to people at times why didn't you say do you realize what you're saying is not true which also means look it up guys opposite is a lie well I don't want to tell them they're like but they are lying just ask them why are you lying why are you telling me something that's not true if you need to word that that way why ask them do you

realize what you do you realize I like Kostyra like i do you realize I like my recovery program why would you tell me hurtful hateful things about it that means you're get behind me Satan don't tempt me to get off my path slamming with that don't hate him but slamming with it so that if it goes that far so that they could be educated and go god you're right this was out of line and they may not get it but when you say the next line which is I'm out of here I'm not interested in this I said to you

they're gonna remember that years and years to come in other lifetimes they'll not know why but they're gonna have this very hyper conscientiousness around gossip and it'll be because someone put him in their place one day and said what you're doing is lying and it's evil and it's of a hatefulness and if you don't want to be hateful you should stop doing this but I for one am NOT interested in participating BAM and there there it is and I really really hope that this is OK for you because it's important to learn

this especially if you're on the spiritual path it's so easy to be all pseudo spiritual and enable these kinds of things and I'm not talking about going out and fixing everything everybody slamming them with heavy words I said start light try a little more a little more a little more and when it gets to the extreme which is very rare in my experience but to do it and when people have told me they oh I have friends that always saying you know gossipy things about you or you know the same couple of friends always say these

negative things the things are like why well they said this and that do you do you is that true well no what do are you sure it's like I know it's not true you know whatever it might be about you know I heard this I heard that and and yet it's absolutely factually not true then I say then what do you say and they come up with these totally I call it horizontal comments meaning they get nowhere compared to vertical so like call them on it plumb oh they call it plumb meaning to pull them to center and call them to

task hey knock it off you know and they're like oh well I I don't want to upset them really so basically enabling it which means it will continue another day cuz nobody has shut them down yet nobody has said you need to stop when I'm in the room I'm gonna tell you you're you're lying and I'm not interested in having liars who are evil as friends strong wording I know but deep inside if I were the one saying that I would be saying it so you can save yourself not because I hate you I'm

saying it to get your attention and your attention might have to go for a moment into how dare you and I'm okay with that hate me because you were already hating me anyway it's just before it was in gossip now you're gonna hate me more overtly but at some point you're gonna see that you hate me if we expand upon it enough to where you'll eventually go well that's not cool you know so teach people how to lighten up tell them you know when you're not being loving then you're being the

opposite when you're not telling the truth you're doing the opposite do you need me to tell you words what words those opposites are really I mean can we not just be honest and call it lying or hate just put it in its place but remember guys when people are gossiping about you they're already messed up it's confirming how messed up they are there's really you know there's really not a lot of instances where the greatest Souls are you know like Buddha you know do you see that man over there

I put my board up for rice and he did not give me anything you know he's a cheapskate you know is do you really imagine Buddhist and around going home you know she's cute but you know I've heard some things about her you know could you really really that person pretends to be light but they're really you know not very nice and they did this and they threw rocks at me it's like you they'll recognize you know what things are really about people are afraid people are hurt don't take it personal

that they say these things it's hard not to but when you do recognize wow why does that rub me the wrong way it's because I have some wounds that they're rubbing up against I might work on my wounds rather than their rubbing up against them you to work on rubbing up against me I know what I'll do I'll just put a fence around myself on wheels and I can wheel you know the fence are here and there and nobody will ever rub up against my moons that's one way to try to exist it sounds a little ludicrous and insane

maybe even expensive but you know it's one way to deal with it that's the way of saying I got to make everybody you know I gotta make sure nobody says anything bad about me that's the fence it's like I'm trying to be overly guarded on the other hand if I work on my wounds I'm shining such a light instead of a fence I'm shining a light outwards and people that are in the light are attracted to it people that are in the dark are gonna hate that light like creepy little critters under

a rock you took the rock over they go running that's these people they're reacting to you because there's something about you they don't like it could be you're in recovery and they know they should be but they don't like the fact that you got in recovery so they tease you about it you know I've had family members tease me about things I believe in things I do and they're they're gone I never I haven't seen these people in 10 15 or whatever 20 years and I don't even think

about it I don't hate them and if any one of them ever were like let's say in trouble and needed advice I'd be on the phone not because they're family cuz are human beings needing advice if they wanted it from me which is not very likely you know so it's okay try not to take it too seriously forgive them they know not what they do means a lot of things but generally speaking forgive them because the things they're saying are not true but they're saying them because they are in such darkness if

they push the darkness a little forgive them and offer a little bit of correction if they push it more a little more but if they push it too far it's okay like Jesus saying let's just cut to the chase you guys are evil you're coming from an evil place he didn't hate them believe it or not the Pharisees in him wherever else you didn't hate them he just said let's just call it for what it is you're liars you're telling the people this is the way to find God and in fact you're hypocrites and you're

misleading them because the thing you're telling them to do you're not even doing so you've got some bad karma coming guys and you know he and he left it at that I mean he just cut it cut to the chase and told him so you can be truthful and look firm but you're not actually harsh and hateful in a really you know a negative sense you're just being clear and firm and it might seem harsh but harsh in its real definition would have an edge like a a wounding and irritating you know energy to an

inflammatory energy the harsh what I'm referring to is firm and clear and it's so beautiful to be in a firm and clear place you know to know the truth about something and you know be able to just deliver hey right here this is gonna stop it's just really beautiful so consider it consider soaking it in as an idea and as a principle for living in life and so on and you'll find it your life becomes cleaner as you clear this stuff up if all you do is run from it it's self protective but you're

confirming that there might be some truth to it or what why else would you be reacting or protecting yourself so much instead just clarity and I'm doing this for you as much as me to say stop it that's not true I if I don't have your best interest in mind then it is still a little too reactive and it's me my wounds but I do care about you enough to say no and a lot of people don't understand that that can go hand in hand so I pray this has made good sense and I wish you the best of life and the best

of all good things for yourself growth clarity prosperity relations better and better improved relations and you know and I pray that you really understand that this stuff works and I don't say this stuff meaning my just my teachings meaning the personal growth connecting to God the stuff is all that is real and all that is really important so stay on the path even when other people might not dig it stay on your path everybody will come around in their day and time all right here's your let your day be

today though