The greatest thing a person can experience is Love. One of the most important expressions of Love is intimacy. And sharing a healthy “sacred” sexual experience is one of the most powerful, physical expressions of both love and intimacy. After all, “Where two or more are gathered as one and with one common goal of love and respect, there is the presence of God.” Therefore, who, how, when, and where we share this expression is something worth deep consideration.
During a truly sacred sexual experience, our attention moves beyond the dense, material body and sexual anatomy and into the eyes and hearts of our partner. This is a natural dance that occurs between all healthy souls. Now, everything we do becomes an experience of union with “All That Is.” Then, with this increased depth and sacredness of the sexual experience, passion and spontaneity are enhanced beyond measure.
There are three active forces within the human consciousness that assist us in expressing and experiencing the most profound level of relationships with others. These forces are: Love (with the heart), Desire (with our feelings), and Passion or Sexuality (with our body). Most people find themselves experiencing one or two of these. Yet, the ideal scenario is to have all three of these attributes or forces in harmonious balance.
Love is who we really are, at the level of the soul. To share the heart and soul means that you are evolved enough to hold this space. To share these with another means that you are brave and courageous enough to risk vulnerability at its deepest level.
Desire can serve as a bridge between love and sex or the heart and the body. The level of desire that we feel can accurately gage how much freshness and spontaneity we have in our life and our relationship, which acts as wood for the fire of passion. Yet, desire without sex and love, is closer to a feeling of longing and need.
Passion & Sexuality are best when accompanied by love and healthy desire. This is where the bodies meet to physically express what is felt in the heart and emotions. This is not to say that all sexual experiences must necessarily be between two individuals who are “in love.” The idea instead, is to feel a loving respect for oneself and then to share it in a sacred union with another.
Only when we greet love, life, and others from/with a healthy balance of the three aspects of love, desire and sexual passion, will we be able to bestow the greatest gift of our true self to our lover or beloved. Then, we will inevitably receive the same gift from them in return. But for this to happen, a certain amount of emotional and spiritual maturity has to exist. If this maturity is present, we will intuitively choose the right partner, one who has, in essence, the same maturity and readiness to match ours.
Sacred sexuality offers an expansive experience based on mutual love, acceptance, and authenticity. It allows us to deepen pleasure, have orgasms in more ways than one, and broaden our ideas of pleasuring beyond, but not excluding, intercourse. It also deepens the purpose of lovemaking beyond bodily connecting to include joining emotionally and spiritually with our partners. With a willingness to bring our higher selves (hearts and souls) to the sharing of our emotions and bodies, we reach new levels of Divine Presence.
The practice of sacred sexuality requires the self-awareness and maturity to follow a few simple principles (with love and respect as the foundation throughout) and to set healthy boundaries.
1. Safety–You must feel safe and supported at all times. Safety includes never asking for, or engaging in, any sexual behavior that feels physically or psychologically painful, scary or unsafe.
2. Responsibility–In the practice of sacred sexuality, you are the one who decides with whom you share and in what form. So choose well!
3. Communication–Once you are healthy enough to create safety and mature enough to take responsibility, it’s time to deepen communication. Your needs must be expressed (using words, sounds, and gestures).
4. Trust and Surrender–Within the boundaries of the above guidelines, you are free to surrender to greater heights and depths of loving, living, and being. Developing greater trust in yourself and your healthy decision-making (as well as your partner’s) are major steps on the path to living bliss.
If sex, in and of itself, were magically transforming, there would be a lot of enlightened porn-stars in the world. Without a spiritual and loving intent, sex limits the expression of our True Self and becomes a form of self-condemnation. Take a moment to imagine how your life would have been different if you had been taught the concepts of sacred sexuality when you were a teenager.
As you learn to balance and integrate the spiritual and physical aspects of your being, you will reach a level of empowerment of which most people only dream. But instead of responding to every attraction to or from others, empower them by being true to yourself. Demonstrate how to be loving, sensual, and passionate, yet responsible. Show others it is possible to be fully alive in your body without compromising your soul. Let others know that you see the wonderful qualities in them, as well as in yourself. You can choose to occasionally share your love and passion with others, but be clear that they must earn the right to touch your body (as you must earn the right to touch theirs). After all, the body is the temple of the soul. It is sacred. You are sacred! You are the Love behind, and beyond, lovemaking.
HEALTHY TIPS ABOUT SACRED SEXUALITY
1. Sex is one of the most powerful manifestations of love.
2. The most profound experience of sex begins with your own self-awareness and healing.
3. Intimacy is a crucial part of a safe, ecstatic experience.
4. Foreplay is an important part of intimacy and should begin with your awareness of your partner’s body and their needs.
5. Orgasms are not the goal of sex, so relax and enjoy ALL feelings. Sharing love is most important!
6. Sacred sexuality can enhance all sensations, including orgasms—which evolve into full-body experiences.
7. Sacred sexuality means paying more attention to: Prayer & Meditation, Environment, Aromas, Music, Breath, Clothing and Intimate Contact (smile, kiss, gaze, biting, tickle, and touch).
8. When you get close to having an orgasm, you can choose to channel the energy through your body instead. This can be done as often as you like. Then, an enhanced external orgasm can also be experienced whenever you want.
9. In the ancient art of “face reading,” the lips are symbolic of the sex organs. This is one reason why kissing is one of the most intimate and sensuous things we can share with a friend or lover.
10. As you expand your understanding and expression of your sexuality, you are also expanding your understanding and expression of your soul.